AboutFull Stack Software Engineer, Electrical Engineering Driven by OCD & Club Mate. Beatiful anf maintainable code is what gives life its beauty.
Joined devRant on 4/25/2017
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Outsourcing front-end for web is like playing russian roulette, but with 6 bullets in 6 chambers.
You shoot yourself in the balls (or ovaries)... HARD.
I don't know how you can develop in a complete nightmare of a SCSS file - 3500 lines of insanity.
This dev must have changed his mousewheel at least 50 times!
SERIOUSLY, why the fuck use SCSS when you piss everything into one single fucking file???
What drives me completely nuts is the fact that he even used an @import to include his custom.scss file... how many more IQ poins are needed to realize that you could SPLIT your spaghetti into smaller, sane files?
I need a whiskey...3
So it turns out I had to set the memory_limit of a PHP cronjob to a whopping 8 Gigglebytes to make it run.
Call me haxX0r m4n from now on.2
Damn, I really love Vue! 🥰
It's so clean and refreshingly simple compared to the shitfuckery called AngularJS (should be renamed to AngularJK or AngularRIP btw.).
I don't understand why I haven't tried Vue sooner... much mind boggle, so regret, many thinking...15
Imagine you can test newly created catalogs, but on error you only receive an error ID, which you have to send to a support email to get the acual error message, but support only responds after maybe 2 weeks if you're lucky.
How hard can it be to implement a log viewer next to your catalog testing forms.
I hate lying customers.
Today a customer opened a support ticket related to his website account. Apparently he is losing his session right after the login success.
I've debugged everything, checked all logs and couldn't reproduce it.
I know every bit of business logic on the website by heart.
The only explanation could be that his browser either doesn't allow cookies or expires them after page change.
So I asked him to check.
"Yes, cookies are allowed in my browser" he wrote.
Well... fuck me... I will change the code to put the session ID in the URL as well. If it works - and I'm 100% sure of that - I will personally mail him a collection of the finest turds.4
There was a time in Windows 95, where during login, you could just press cancel and you were logged in without the need of a password.9
My top reasons for you to not become a dev are:
- You don't like stress
- You like to overengineer but you want to "take your time"
- You hate bug-detective work
- You are impatient
- You want to overcome your virginity
- You are an overly social person6
The top reasons to become a dev are:
- your brain acutally gets challenged to its fullest
- you can fix most of your IT problems yourself
- you are forced to learn how to deal and live with stress
I won't list the disadvantages, becaus it would result in memory allocation errors.5
Front-end hacking is pure dog shite.
Some banana fuckers changed a forms plugin for PukePress some odd years ago and now I am responsible, after installing 2 major releases, to make it behave and look the same as it did before.
I'd rather dangle in a noose than cleaning up their spaghettified CSS selectors and random jokeQuery code.4
Programming is life ❤️
Just as life, it has it's ups and downs, but it's truly satisfying to create complex systems and get them to actually work and be useful to others.
We have only just started with the digitalisation of previously manual, tedious tasks. Imagine what all this saved time and labour could bring us to achieve in areas we haven't yet had the time to explore.
I hope mankind is ready for the ongoing and upcoming challenges regarding data privacy and security.
Nah, in reality, we will be stuck with Fakebook and Tweeter selling all our dickpics to *in Trump voice* "Chiner" and censoring unpopular opinion and discourse.
These "digital parasites" can all go sit on a rusty spike.
I love PHP, but...
the PHP API has been designed by crackpipe smoking cave trolls.
Every other function has its params completely reversed or in random order compared to similar functions.
array_map, array_filter, property_exists, array_key_exists11
Ah yes, progress...
Why do SJWs have to infiltrate everything and project their own racist views of the world onto non-problematic terms?
Slavery has existed for as long as humanity and abolishing the terms will definitely not solve slavery and opression.
I am not against Git changing the default name but I am against them doing it in the name of "inclusivity". The technical world exists by merit and not inclusivity. Why make everything about color, race or slavery level?91
My biggest influence on coding style is:
"If code make reviewer puke, code bad."
In all seriousness though, I think the biggest influence is seeing messy code and not trying to replicate that.
I think every code file, however ugly it is, tells you a story. Maybe the coder was less experienced, maybe it was written during crunch or the coder is an enterprise software engineer who has to make a factory for everything and everything is generic.
In my opinion there is no perfect code style. You do what's required and hopefully in your best ability, and, as a bonus, think of the person who has to look at your code next...
For me it's kind of hard to tell whether my code is good. I have no reviewer in the company, which brings the risk of writing code so only you understand it... but so far it has worked and I've definitely seen worse than my 1 year old files. 😄
Does somebody know how to send data to the PHP CGI executable directly and how to receive it (stdin/stdout)?
Or point me to a useful resource?
In a side project (just for fun) I try to implement the interface on NodeJS so I could process PHP through ExpressJS (long story).
I've been able to send and receive stuff, but the PHP CGI always tells me that I am "not allowed" to use this interface...
Docs/mailinglists seem reeeally old and don't want to go through the Apache source code 😅
Or does Node not have enough privileges for communicatig with PHP CGI exe?8
Damn... some dude has his full SSH credentials to his webserver in his published NPM package...
I have to tell him 😅16
It is truly satisfying when you sucessfully extend a complex system in a seamless way where the narrow-minded user isn't able to recocognise any change.
I've worked half of the day on a "CMS entries to Excel exporter" and it fits so perfectly it is just another value in the exporter dropdown to choose from.4
1 am, wide awake,
I want to go code but cannot take,
for time is not my friend,
If I go now, it will not end.
Rest is needed, sleep must be,
or tomorrow I will pay the fee,
concentration will be sparse,
and boss will surely kick my arse.2
It rarely makes sense but makes code unnecessarily complex to read.12
Apart of the fact that WordPress itself is one big hack, my most creative hacky solution was making it (dev) environment friendly.
First, I created a DB pull and push tool in NodeJS (on TypeScript). Then, because WP is so clever and stores internal URLs in full length in the DB, I had to create a DB migrator (find & replace) and attached it to the DB pull task.
After this, of course WP still has its config in one file, so I used composer to install phpdotenv and filled the config with environment variables.
Bundled with some good ol' Gitlab CI/CD magic, the website is now 10% sanely developable.
It feels like having to shovel piles of shit, but with a golden shovel. Everything stinks as hell but at least there is a tiny bling to it, temporarily.
But in all seriousness: WordPress is a god damn fucking pile of tumors!3
Family support for becoming a dev?
HA! None at all.
Well, to be fair, my parents bought their first a PC in 1996 for learning how to use it and to write documents for business.
So it was a rather passive support, if at all.1
A lot of online games (mainstream) tend to make me kind of angry or stressed. Lots of either blatantly stupid or negative players kill the fun.
A few days ago I've startet to see videos about "Among Us". It's on a big hype right now and their machmaking servers must be glowing.
Well, this game is fucking awesome and it makes me really happy! 😊
Nothing beats a 30 minute game of lying, betrayal, teamwork and good old 30'000 IQ big-brain detective work.
I think it's a great execise for remembering stuff.
You remember colors, who's said what and who faked or did which task. And the hardest part is, even if you fucking saw the killer, you have to present the facts in a way that people believe you.
Each round is unique and full of riddles.
Yeah, I just wanted to say: Fucking great game 😄3
Damn, I really love programming. ❤️
It's way more uplifting and satisfactory than having a significant other.
Even my botched WP installs are more stable than most pseudo-longterm relationships nowadays.
Oh yeah and another thing:
How is it so extremely hard or even impossible for a lot of women to admit their own fucking wrongdoings to a close person?
Fuck business networking meetings.
Having to go as a representative of our company was not my most wished for thing...
But hey, free drinks and meeting and talking to one of the devs there saved me the annoyance of having to participate in a business circle-jerking for 30 minutes.4
Don't you love it when there is a new minor release or a critical dependency and it breaks backwards compatibility without mentioning any of it in the changelog or docs?
I absolutely love it! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I certainly did not waste 3 hours of my life to find it. No i didn't.1
There is only one important rule to live by:
Never lend anyone your 256 GB USB-C/USB-B combo memory stick. There is a 100% scientifically-backed certainty that you will never, in your meager existence, see it again.13