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23
Wack
6y

Mother fucking SQL, fuck mathematicians, fuck every thing!

So let's supose we'd only need the first char of a string. Every, and I mean fucking every (php, java, javascript, ruby, python, haskell) fucking language, uses something like `substring(input, 0, 1)` as it knows the input is nothing more than a fucking array of chars, otherwise known as motherfucking String. Logically the offset for the first char is 0.

Enter SQL, there you need to put `SUBSTRING(input, 1, 1)` because fuck every one! Fucking math guys who developed relational algebra on which (most) databases are based on (I love you for it, but come on you fuckers!), Decided that the first character should be at position 1...

Fuckers

rant

wankers

database

relational algebra

fuck math
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Comments
  • 8
    6y
    Fuck them also for abusing 'i' as imaginary unit. It's fucking 'j' because 'i' is already taken for time variable current.
  • 4
    6y
    SQL in general feels like the Stone age of computing...
  • 0
    6y
    What stack?
    For the first character in tsql I would use
    LEFT([field], 1)
    In SQL Server.
  • 1
    6y
    @Fast-Nop
    j is used in electronic engieering as imaginary unit because i represents small variation in current.

    Try again. What about x or n?
  • 2
    6y
    'i' don't care
  • 1
    6y
    @bkwilliams postgres in that case but as far as I can tell mysql and mssql is the same.
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