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Manager: "we need an SQL database"
Dev: dude does he even know what he's talking about
Dev: "so which color?"
Manager: "idk well I think a blockchain has the most RAM"10 -
When i open a 2 gigabyte wordlist text file and forgot that my defaults text editor is GUI based.
14 -
Client A: "so we using cloud-based server? is it safe? will raining cause data leak? you know rain water is from cloud? how you guys manage to control it???"
Me: "??????"
20 -
Hey everyone,
This coming Sunday (Feb 4), at about 12AM EST, devRant will be going down for scheduled maintenance (database server maintenance). The maintenance shouldn’t take more than about 15 minutes.
Feel free to let me know if you have any questions and apologies for the inconvenience!35 -
I always like to approach a new coding project by concentrating on the data model first. I've seen a lot of projects built on extremely convoluted database structures and it really hurts because it makes it hard to add new features to the project.
So I look at the requirements of the new project and try to come up with a basic data model. Then I like to think about what logical future additions to the project could be. And using those, I try to see if the data model is flexible enough to be able to handle those additions fairly easily or if complex migrations or hacks would be needed to account for new use cases and features.
I think once you have a solid data structure and database technology, planning out an API or rest of the software is pretty straight forward. I like to create reusable pieces of middleware early on in the project which makes it easy to apply consistent functionality with ease to different API endpoints.8 -
Friend: Dude, css is so cool and amazing. I love it
Me: Erm ye, okay...
Friend: I think, im gonna make a css program to save data to database. That would make it even cooler!
Me: ye, okay. Wait what?! Hahahahaha
Friend: ??? Why u laughing13 -
Hey everyone - tonight we performed a database upgrade and unfortunately there were a few "surprise" breaking changes to the query language we use that weren't caught during testing. Once they were discovered after the upgrade. The queries were corrected within a few minutes. You might have noticed some issues with commenting, voting, etc.
On this note, please let me know if you notice anything suspicious like errors when trying to perform normal actions, or anything at all. I appreciate any reports since it's a bit tricky for us to cover every last part of the app alone, though I think we went through most of it. Thanks and please let me know if you have any questions!22 -
Story time:
I was once working on a project that dealt with incredibly sensitive financial data.
We needed a client’s database to do a migration.
They wouldn’t send it over the internet because it was too big and they didn’t think it would be secure.
They opt to send it in the post on an encrypted usb drive.
(Fair enough thinks I)
USB drive arrives.
Is indeed encrypted.
MFW there’s a post it note in the envelope with the password on.
MFW this is a billion dollar multinational petrochem company.
MFW this same company’s ‘sysadmin’ and ‘dba’ once complained because a SQL script I sent them didn’t work - they’d pasted it twice and couldn’t work this out from the fucking “table already created” error message management studio was throwing at them.3 -
My biggest dev blunder. I haven't told a single soul about this, until now.
👻👻👻👻👻👻
So, I was working as a full stack dev at a small consulting company. By this time I had about 3 years of experience and started to get pretty comfortable with my tools and the systems I worked with.
I was the person in charge of a system dealing with interactions between people in different roles. Some of this data could be sensitive in nature and users had a legal right to have data permanently removed from our system. In this case it meant remoting into the production database server and manually issuing DELETE statements against the db. Ugh.
As soon as my brain finishes processing the request to venture into that binary minefield and perform rocket surgery on that cursed database my sympathetic nervous system goes into high alert, palms sweaty. Mom's spaghetti.
Alright. Let's do this the safe way. I write the statements needed and do a test run on my machine. Works like a charm 😎
Time to get this over with. I remote into the server. I paste the code into Microsoft SQL Server Management Studio. I read through the code again and again and again. It's solid. I hit run.
....
Wait. I ran it?
....
With the IDs from my local run?
...
I stare at the confirmation message: "Nice job dude, you just deleted some stuff. Cool. See ya. - Your old pal SQL Server".
What did I just delete? What ramifications will this have? Am I sweating? My life is over. Fuck! Think, think, think.
You're a professional. Handle it like one, goddammit.
I think about doing a rollback but the server dudes are even more incompetent than me and we'd lose all the transactions that occurred after my little slip. No, that won't fly.
I do the only sensible thing: I run the statements again with the correct IDs, disconnect my remote session, and BOTTLE THAT SHIT UP FOREVER.
I tell no one. The next few days I await some kind of bug report or maybe a SWAT team. Days pass. Nothing. My anxiety slowly dissipates. That fateful day fades into oblivion and I feel confident my secret will die with me. Cool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯13 -
Had a database engineer tell me that he put a minimal delay of 15 seconds on every query, so that people don't come complaining to him that the database takes longer than usual6
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Went with a cousin to hospital for vaccination .I took a pen and wrote: "Anti-Virus database updated 09.01.2017" . Now I am not allowed to stay with my cousin :(
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You know your week starts great, when you receive a call, that the whole shop database of a company is not working anymore.
Turns out MS Fucking SQL decided to drop all tables, just because the harddisk was full.
A SERIOUS FUCK YOU TO MICROSCHROTT!
It's not a lot of fun, when 15 people have to wait for you about 1 hour, until it is restored.
Why does this have to happen on a monday?10 -
How do people just go about deleting databases when they don't mean to?
"Ah, a database!"
*Flaps hands at the keyboard until something happens*
"Oops, I deleted the database :/"
(*Posts a rant about accidentally deleting the database on devRant*)
🤔6 -
We've built a web app and now a client wants a VPN acces to the database of web app. When asked why, they said they want to occasionally pull some data out. 😱
We said no, and this is what they wrote:
"We’ve got live VPN access to every other web database we work with – why is this different?"
Well because maybe we know that we can build you an export of whatever you want, prepare you API calls for getting data to your CRM, but hell I'm not giving you access to the production DB.5 -
Arrived today, hyped!
I have real-world experience with MongoDB, MySQL, Firebase, and caching with Redis.
A colleague in ops recommended this book a while back and I thought I'd give it a whirl to better understand what other options I have available.
7 -
The reason why I changed my username ( I'll just be honest here )
I was working on a website. I noticed that entries were submitting yesterday but today new entries were not showing up on database. It was like my database refused to insert new rows but there was no new error in log. I kept trying for almost half an hour, read all the answers on stackoverflow, read docs, tried different methods. Nothing worked. I was fucked up. Completely fucked up.
In frustration, I just stared my database for 10 mins without a single blink, and then I noticed this thing 'showing 25 out of 78 rows'
(-_-)
I clicked on 'show all'
AAAAAAND
I felt retarded.
Okay I can give an excuse that last time I saw a database was a year ago, but still.. how retarded you need to be to not see this FUCKIN 'SHOW ALL' when it is on the TOP of the FUCKIN TABLE!!6 -
"So, what do you do in life?"
Me : I work on enterprise level mobile, web and server applications. Basically programming and database stuff...
"Sweet! So you can fix my PC right? It's getting slow I don't know why..."
Me : mmm well, ugh... yea kinda, I guess... sure. I could take a look 😑2 -
"please use a secure password*"
* But don't make it too secure, 20 Charakters is enough.
Why would you fucking do this? The only reason I can think about is a scenario like this:
"How do we store the passwords in the database?"
"Just like anything else?"
"So I create a VARCHAR(20)?"
"Yeah why not? It's good enough for a name, and you shouldn't use your or anyone else's name as a password, so it should be perfect"10 -
So today we had a Skype conference with external devs about a database topic. In the middle of the call they wanted to present what they already did and opened up the browser. On a domain available for the general public. With our internal data they signed to keep safe.
Our manager stopped the call immediately and our lawyers are working on a lawsuit now.
Interesting day....7 -
Working on a database priorly designed and maintained by some private agency.
The fuck I'm dealing with!
Boolean values stored as 'TRUE'/'FALSE'. It's varchar, my dudes.
There are no FK relations. Just the values of IDs in a column.
There are no indexes, all on just the PKs, nothing else. Nothing.
Null, what's that? I'm dealing with 'N/A', my dudes.
Unique key, what's that? The table which stores users has all the fields nullable. Email is not unique ( even though that's the required behaviour).
ALL the numeric values are stored as varchar. Varchar, my dudes. Varchar. '1', '1.1'
And finally, the good ole, 1 table to rule them all. Normalisation, fuck that.
And what's the root cause of all this? My PM used to hand them Excel sheets she maintains on her local system. FTW. I don't have a enough explanations.7 -
Teacher: From today on, we will start working with ms access 😊.
Me: Please die and let my life in peace ☹️ and learn with something useful (MySQL) instead.7 -
So I was tasked setting up our new project. They spent $299 on a JavaScript photo book editor application for the frontend. It comes with an example PHP backend and database schema...
Which grabs the entire book's content directly from the DOM and vomits the HTML into a TEXT column.
These guys are successfully selling XSS to developers...
6 -
Its such a elating feeling when you implement multithreading perfectly.
I had a task where I read data from one table, searched on it and added the searched data to another table. The table had 0.22 million records.
On single thread it took entire night to do half of the job.
I divided it into 8 thread jobs, and pushed my quadcore to 100% and voila, its done in 2.5Hrs.
Just like Hannibal would have said, "I love it when a plan comes together"5 -
Today, social media databases around the world will be forced to accept billions of shitty firework photos.1
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Yesterday a colleague of mine told me that another colleague has done this in his web application for a subject:
For checking user and password, he did not query a database, but instead he checked information in a HIDDEN DIV in the html page.
Reason: "this way I don't lose my precious time".
I think of that and I'd like to punch him. People like him are the reason websites in Italy suck and my University web infrastructure sucks (he worked as intern on that).
My. God.7 -
Rant, but also want to know, how the fuck do you accidentally drop a database link. In production. On the most important database. Housing our biggest applications.8
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I'm moving some old data into a new database.
It contains some dates that *should* be in ISO 8601...
This is some of the trash that I found:
01/01/70
2010-11-05T08:06:48T08:06:03.7
2007-09-13T
Moreover, it has a column which *should* contains numbers, instead it has been defined using varchar, so it contains also some wonderful 'NaN' values.
I really would like to beat the person who set up all this stuff without some basic validation policies.9 -
I seriously feel like this should be a joke/meme.
What you see in the picture is a database table.
This guy's now running around with a degree in something related to web development.
6 -
Ok so this happend in the last 3 days, I didn't post it till now because I had to seriously take a rest with all the bullshit and stress that came with it...
(Legacy project I have the lead in called: "Foo")
Monday:
Management decided it would be effective to add a senior and a junior to Foo, which would make (together with me) to be 2 juniors and one senior developer
Well I've spend most of that day helping both the junior and the senior to setup "Foo" on their local development machines... So I could not do any programming myself
tuesday:
The senior wanted to refactor EVERYTHING... and I had to stop him multiple times because we simply do not have the time to do that...
The junior tried to work on other things as much as he could, and after he had run out of things to do, asked me for EVERYTHING... EVEN WHERE TO FUCKING CHANGE SOME GOD DAMN STRINGS!....
Also he did in total 3 commits, two of which existed of my code (because I had to "help" him
wednesday:
Both the junior and senior were removed from the project and I got another senior.. who fucking deleted the production database on accident
god damn rough few days man...7 -
I think every programmer goes through this time every day....
#Don't wait for inspiration, become it. #balls
-
So, apparently the legacy code I'm told to maintain at work requires me to add a windows user via control panel to my PC for SQL database to work.
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I love this database primarily because it is cross platform and can be easily understood by anyone unlike SQL database files.
5 -
After a week of trying to figure out why my Android Studio project wasn't connecting to my db I finally realized that I was using the wrong URL3
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Oh boy. Gotta love having a team member (For a School project) be in charge of the Database functionality/design, who has almost no communication skills and basically no clue about how to store data in a data base.
Im talking dates stored as varchar(5), column sizes being way way to small, overall table design being rather terrible, no primary/foreign keys, pretty much... Actually no, everything was being stored as a varchar.
Not only that, but there was a hell lot of data that needed to be stored that wasn't even accounted for in the DB design. He made some code that could be used by our team members for queries, creating tables, inserting data (etc), almost 2,000 lines of it.... And basically nothing was fucking documented at all. I'm talking comments like "Insert data into cities table" and nothing else. More complicated functions had as much, or less documentation. Complete mess.2 -
I woke up early and thaught I could finish some database work today.
Beeing tipsy I deleted two production tables and shit my pants.
Luckily I do backups since the last retarded db-deletion.8 -
Why do I have no problems writing code and designing databases, but draw a complete blank when trying to come up with a good database username for the code to use?3
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OMFG I don't even know where to start..
Probably should start with last week (as this is the first time I had to deal with this problem directly)..
Also please note that all packages, procedure/function names, tables etc have fictional names, so every similarity between this story and reality is just a coincidence!!
Here it goes..
Lat week we implemented a new feature for the customer on production, everything was working fine.. After a day or two, the customer notices the audit logs are not complete aka missing user_id or have the wrong user_id inserted.
Hm.. ok.. I check logs (disk + database).. WTF, parameters are being sent in as they should, meaning they are there, so no idea what is with the missing ids.
OK, logs look fine, but I notice user_id have some weird values (I already memorized most frequent users and their ids). So I go check what is happening in the code, as the procedures/functions are called ok.
Wow, boy was I surprised.. many many times..
In the code, we actually check for user in this apps db or in case of using SSO (which we were) in the main db schema..
The user gets returned & logged ok, but that is it. Used only for authentication. When sending stuff to the db to log, old user Id is used, meaning that ofc userid was missing or wrong.
Anyhow, I fix that crap, take care of some other audit logs, so that proper user id was sent in. Test locally, cool. Works. Update customer's test servers. Works. Cool..
I still notice something off.. even though I fixed the audit_dbtable_2, audit_dbtable_1 still doesn't show proper user ids.. This was last week. I left it as is, as I had more urgent tasks waiting for me..
Anyhow, now it came the time for this fuckup to be fixed. Ok, I think to myself I can do this with a bit more hacking, but it leaves the original database and all other apps as is, so they won't break.
I crate another pck for api alone copy the calls, add user_id as param and from that on, I call other standard functions like usual, just leave out the user_id I am now explicitly sending with every call.
Ok this might work.
I prepare package, add user_id param to the calls.. great, time to test this code and my knowledge..
I made changes for api to incude the current user id (+ log it in the disk logs + audit_dbtable_1), test it, and check db..
Disk logs fine, debugging fine (user_id has proper value) but audit_dbtable_1 still userid = 0.
WTF?! I go check the code, where I forgot to include user id.. noup, it's all there. OK, I go check the logging, maybe I fucked up some parameters on db level. Nope, user is there in the friggin description ON THE SAME FUCKING TABLE!!
Just not in the column user_id...
WTF..Ok, cig break to let me think..
I come back and check the original auditing procedure on the db.. It is usually used/called with null as the user id. OK, I have replaced those with actual user ids I sent in the procedures/functions. Recheck every call!! TWICE!! Great.. no fuckups. Let's test it again!
OFC nothing changes, value in the db is still 0. WTF?! HOW!?
So I open the auditing pck, to look the insides of that bloody procedure.. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
Instead of logging the p_user_sth_sth that is sent to that procedure, it just inserts the variable declared in the main package..
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Did the 'new guy' made changes to this because he couldn't figure out what is wrong?! Nope, not him. I asked the CEO if he knows anything.. Noup.. I checked all customers dbs (different customers).. ALL HAD THIS HARDOCED IN!!! FORM THE FREAKING YEAR 2016!!! O.o
Unfuckin believable.. How did this ever work?!
Looks like at the begining, someone tried to implement this, but gave up mid implementation.. Decided it is enough to log current user id into BLABLA variable on some pck..
Which might have been ok 10+ years ago, but not today, not when you use connection pooling.. FFS!!
So yeah, I found easter eggs from years ago.. Almost went crazy when trying to figure out where I fucked this up. It was such a plan, simple, straight-forward solution to auditing..
If only the original procedure was working as it should.. bloddy hell!!8 -
Unpopular opinion :
“X company will use blockchain for Y and Z” doesn’t mean fucking nothing and no one cares a dick.
Blockchain is a nice word for a database.
Your shitcoin isn’t going to pump because of IBM or Lamborghini using blockchain.
Microsoft didn’t pump its stocks for people using MS SQL (probably but because it’s their product and products make money, so still not related) .
Get a Xanax and stop dreaming of whatever reality that exists only in your dreams, tinfoil head.
Addressed to a good half of my twitter followers base. Thank you.17 -
Oh man.
I imagine the face of the guy who deleted Gitlab production database when he realized what he had done.6 -
Completely got my localhost and live database confused and dropped the whole live server. And there was a power outage so the last backup is from Friday. Luckily not completely live, but still having a stream of people walking in. Also pretty obvious that they are talking about me especially since there's no other shes in the department.5
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Top 10 database engines on db-engine... I never knew the top 3 were so far ahead of the game, if that site is anything to go by.
15 -
Me: deployment exploded, the database has to be restored.
C: yeah, the latest backup we have is is from Q1 2016
Me: wat? We have almost weekly changes of the database layout, let alone the content.
C: yeah, you have to execute somewhat 60 sql files ... Have fun
* Sitting in a corner and staring apathecally at the wall*5 -
I'm migrating data from an old software to a new one I wrote.
Old database it's in Access (yeah, fuck). When I opened one table, the VM hung up and I opened the task manager on MADE
What.The.Fuck.Are.You.Doing?
8 -
Manager: let's use elasticsearch for performing relational queries. PostgreSQL performance is not great.
Me: Say what? 👿4 -
The worst mistake I made was using json files as a simple database.
The project was to be delivered the day before it was even ordered, so I had to take shortcuts.
I totally underestimated the popularity of the project, so all that file reading and writing made the server slow and sluggish. It also being submitted on a shared host, made it even worse.
In the end the host shut it down. I don't recall, but I guess I had to add that database support after all, the project being that popular...4 -
Hey, DBA guy! Security blocked this one port for the database. Can you change the database to a different port?
Me: No, I actually like working here.2 -
Brain storming with senior lead developer. We try to add new tables in our database. But the Google spreadsheet goes wrong
4 -
I JUST HAD ONE OF THOSE DAYS THAT MAKES ONE WANT TO BANG TWO BRICKS ON HEAD SND END THE PAIN THE STORY STARTS YESTETDAY WITH ISSUES AFTER A MIGRSTION AND THEY ASK ME TO HELP TROUBLESHOOT EVEN THOUGH I'M A DEV DBA AND THE ISSUE IS IN QA/SAT AND I HELP ANYWAY AND THEY CAN'T FIND A VIEW AND SO I LOOK EVERYWHERE AND CAN'T DOING IT EITHER AND IT DIDN'T EXIST IN PROD OR DEV SO I TELL THEM IT'S NOT THERE, AND THEY ARE LIKE, CAN YOU RETRIEVE IT FOR US AND I'M LIKE FROM WHERE? I DON'T KEEP VIEWS IN MY BUTT AND YOU GUYS ARE SMOKING CRACK AND THE GIVE ME THEIR QUERY WHICH CONTAIN THE VIEE ANYWAY AND THEY SAY CAN YOU RUN IT AND IT RUNS AND WORKS AND THEY CAN'T MAKE IT WORK AND IT WORKS BECAUSE IT DOESN'T CALL THE VIEW THEY HAVE ME SO NO PROBLEM THERE SO I FINALLY ASK THEM ARE YOU POINTING TO THE CORRECT DATABASE AND THEY'RE LIKE OH MAN WE TOLD YOU THE WRONG DATABASE AND SO I LOOK AT THE RIGHT DATABASE AND FIND THAT THE GRANTS ARE MISSING AND YEAH THANK YOU FOR TAKING EIGHT HOURS OF MY LIFE BECAUSE WE WERE IN THE WRONG DB YOU GAVE ME AND I HOPE THE FLAG OF A THOUSAND CAMELS INVEST YOUR ARMPITS AND THE CHIGGERS OF A THOUSAND SOUTHERN LAWNS INGEST YOUR SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR. YAAAAAA!!!!9
-
From Gitlab: "So in other words, out of 5 backup/replication techniques deployed none are working reliably or set up in the first place."2
-
JSON: "Ok fine you can use our syntax and everything else but make sure you change the name of the format so people know there is a difference"
MongoDB : "K"3 -
Dev nightmares :
- Not finding bug fix on stackoverflow/GitHub .
- Losing code that hasn't been pushed to GitHub.
- Dealing with an unclean and inconsistent database.
- Installing Node Dependencies.
- Resolving CORS and 500s.
- Training a Linear Regression Model with 700 epochs on an entry-level Laptop.
Keep appending to this list.
#devrant #devnightmares20 -
That feeling when you’re scraping a website to build an API and your script downloads 4049/6170 pages before failing and you have to rewrite it so that puppeteer hits the next button 4049 times before executing the script. 😅
This database is so frustrating.
I hate this website (the one I’m scraping).
It’s going to be so satisfying when this is finished.6 -
>Be client
>Have an issue with incredibly slow webpage load time
>Blame memcache issues
So... I look into the problem. Yes, the page either loads up fast, or times out. So, into the logs I go. Webserver is fine (except the timeout), PHP though... Error log is fine (just notices), but slow log shows the issue is the database (of course... its always the database... ugh)
So, checking the database, there is one ugly query that seems to be an issue. 5 joins and a huge where condition.
So I run EXPLAIN on the query and... Proceed to bang my head against the wall.
OF COURSE ITS SLOW YOU FU******, NONE OF YOUR TABLES HAVE ANY INDEXES.
What do they expect when the database has to always go down the whole table and do everything in memory, until it runs out and has to dump it all on disk and work with it there.
Ugh... Some clients... -
I was out sick the day an urgent ETL job I was building would be due, so it got reassigned. When I return, I find most of my code commented out and replaced.
The first step was rewritten, with a comment that reads "Made changes to run faster." What used to be a single execution lasting 30 seconds was now a 4 step process taking 5 minutes, and yielding identical results.
Being a one-time execution (not a recurring job), I'm left wondering why they thought execution speed was even an issue, let alone what about their redesign they felt was an improvement...2 -
Me: "can you please send my credentials for the database?"
Hosting provider: "Yea sure... We will set it up on our servers in no time"
*5 mins later: provider sends mail to me*
Me: *looks at mail*
Also me: *NOTHING TO DO HERE*
Congrats to jweiland.net for not being able to support their customers.
2 -
Since Parse is shutting down by January 27th, I need to migrate my startup application's entire database to a new platform. What a pain. I'm thinking of doing Firebase...11
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It's faster to design a database, import data from Excel, and run queries than having to deal with these formula shit4
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I am a mechanical engineer first and my companies go to sysadmin second. So software developing isnt really my main field of expertise buuttt:
WHY IS SLOOPY SOFTWARE WRITING A VIABLE EXCUSE?
Story:
Yesterday i started to migrate some stuff from our old Win 2008 Server to the new 2016. Turns out there are some MS SQL Express Servers running. Quick check for what they are turns out that they are activly used. So far so good. For other reasons we have a new MSSQL 2017 Core Licence. So i thought, hey it would be nice to just move those 2012, 2008 and 2014 Express Servers to a real one that can use the entire machines capabilities.
After some try & error with exporting one of the softwares (where i had to elevate one the user rights to sysadmin for reasons) the entire system stopped working. I didnt deleted anything or changed anything! Well, i elevated user rights. After 2 hours of support call it turns out that the software stopped working cause i gave the database user sysadmin rights. I dont know enough about MSSQL to judge wether that is logical or not, but it sounds super illogical and i suspect sloopy software writing on the manufacturers part. One way or another, the excuse from the telephone support was "yeah, our software is a very fragile child"
Okay.
After i told all that my coworkers two of them were also "yeah, that is just how the [company] software is, you have to be careful with it"
Apparently it broke in the past for other minor stuff.
As an engineer i cannot build bridges that collapse when you use the left and the right lane at the same time. For an architect it isnt okay to build an house where the front door explodes when you open a window. It is not okay for a power tool to go out in a fireball when you accidently drill plastic with it. But for some weird reasons its socially acceptable for programs to be sloopy, buggy and only working under specific conditions. Since when is it okay for a car only to work when you know specific steps to make it run? Like, throwing your spare key in the gas tank, the kick the left wheel exactly three times and finally tapping the steering wheel 5 times left, 4 times right. What? That would be ridiculous? But that is exactly how that software works. You have to follow a specific step guide to make it work, EVERY TIME.
I. JUST. DONT. GET. IT3 -
I had to write a script to clean some crap from a database.
In particular it had some records containing multiple names and I had to split them.
It was really a nightmare because the separator was not always the same, e.g. "John, Mark and Bob" or "Alice+Mary".
«Ok, let's use a fucking regex: ",|(and)|\\+|/|&"»
Then, I realized there were some "Alessandro" in the database. Yeah, Aless(and)ro. Shit.
So I had eventually added more crap into the database.6 -
Working in my local development database.
UPDATE myTable SET setColumn = NULL;
WARNING: Unsafe Query.
UPDATE myTable SET setColumn = NULL WHERE 1 = 1;
300 Rows affected.6 -
One of the devs at my internship company decided to have a client's website load all of it's pages from the website's Database.
That's right, a PAGE as a database row!
And I don't mean having it get some of the info from the columns and putting it into the page's html with php or some shit. No, I mean an actual html file copy pasted and added into the database.
This company scares me sometimes.1 -
Building an interface for a client between industrial power quality meters and a database that serves a webapp of data.
Client had heard of a way of sending data between meter and raspberry. From some manager in a big firm.
Currently we where using modus to connect the meter to a raspberry. This method was tested and proofen to work. Both devices could talk to each other in modbus.
Client kept demaning to use mbus, and was nog listening to any reason because the firm suggested it. In the end we end up going modbus to mbus to send it to the raspberry. There the mbus was converted back modbus. Because the meter could not communicate in mbus.
Really weird experience to program something so useless. But protesting about it was going nowhere and taking more time than the changes would take to implant.2 -
PM asked me to develop an application to fetch data from the customer's DB, which would require an access security token provided by the customer. To get the token, I would have to travel to Germany (I live in Portugal) to get it personally (it's not possible to have someone else pick it up for me).
It turns out the security token is a completely closed environment, with its own OS, without the possibility of installing any application or communicating with the exterior. The laptop itself would boot from the token's OS.
It was concluded I would have to hack the security token, which is completely non compliant. So the PM decided not to go forward with it.
But now, I have to go Germany anyway to pick up the security tokens because they forgot to order them for these other guys who would be using them to access the customer's DB manually and they don't want to delay the project anymore.
Oh, and the security tokens cost the project 500€/month each...4 -
We were discussing if table names should be singular or plural.
As a good developer, I had to check stackoverflow.
#savetheS is a movement now
7 -
Imagine accidentally deleting the entire production database today and people thought you were joking.
-
Was just told to put 0 if field doesn’t exist In database instead of marking the column nullable. That is driving me crazy bull and 0 are not the same two different meanings.17
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Boss at the start of a new project: "We could hire an intern to gatter some data in an excel list... You can easily implement that in the application later - right? So can you get us a excel list to fill out? "
No... Just no...
You tell me what you wanna see and how you wanna interact with the application!
In the process we will figure out which data is necessary, I will build some tables in the database for that data and then, !!! not a second sooner !!! , I'll be able to give you an suitable excel list, which includes a complete list of columns for the necessary data in a form I can work with it.
It's not my job to know what data a application needs to make YOUR JOB easier! I'm not a magician! I just love programming stuff!3 -
Database is being slow AF again. Team lead is investigating. This is happening more often lately and affects both production and dev because everything is just in one gigantic database. So clients are calling support being angry about the speed they get and us devs get to twiddle our thumbs while waiting for our own data to load.8
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I am now a certified "Microsoft Technology Associate for Database Fundamentals". 😁🎉 Had to do this certification for my "Berufsausbildung".21
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Bad: Delete your production database
Good: Have a backup
Bad: Can't reimport it because your backup procedure uses scheme that are no longer supported for import by your cloud provider
Good: Backup are plaintext and somehow easy to parse
Bad: Spending the rest of the day writing scripts to reinsert everything.
End of the story: everything is up and running, 8hours of efforts1 -
At the product backlog refinement the product owner told us (the devs) how the database model must be designed! He said he knows it best, because he knows all the requirements. 🙈4
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In PHP, constants can only be of simple data types like strings or floats.
You can't make a database connection a constant because it's not a simple data type.
That makes the only way of accessing complex "constants" within functions using the keyword global... which is not encouraged and forces you to make the database connection global (that may not be convenient in some software patterns).
The last option is passing the database connection as a parameter (either to the function or to the constructor of the instance whose methods will use the connection)... which would be good if I didn't want to go full OO. Because it's a pain to do so.
So all in all, constants are not well supported by PHP.
Come on, constants...12 -
Me: *asks for sample data for all tables to test database transactions*
Team member: *gives over 45000 records only for city*
🤔 😐 -
Seems like our "DB expert" is playing "Does adding an index here work" with out production database. Second time in 6 months that he caused a massive performance issue. Nice jub moron4
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$rant = false;
Let say you guys are working in a team of 3 and need to share a database. All of you are in different locations.
I am currently hosting my database on online server, which is kind of slow for me because I have poor Internet in my country. How do you guys do it?7 -
Two words that instill fear in any database developer: Cartesian Join.
I didn’t realize what was happening until the DBA paid me a personal visit asking what I was running that had cached over a billion rows.3 -
3 Database SQL walked into a NOSQL bar.
A little while later, they walked out...
Because they couldn't find a table.1 -
Working at a local seo sweat-shop as "whatever the lead dev does't feel like doing" guy.
Inherit their linux "server".
- Over 500 security updates
- Everything in /var/www is chmod to 777
- Everything in /var/www is owned by a random user that isn't apache
- Every single database is owned by root sql user
- Password for sudo user and mysql root user same as wifi password given to everyone at company.
- Custom spaghetti code dashboard with over 400 files in one directory, db/ api logins spread throughout these files, passwords in plain text.
- Dashboard doesn't have passwords, just usernames to login
- Dashboard database has all customer information including credit card stored in plain text
- Company wifi is shared by other businesses in the area
I suggest that I should try to fix some of these things.
Lead Developer / Tech Director : We're an SEO company, not a security company . . .7 -
I’m stressing out man. I can look at let’s just say a sorting algorithm for now. I can look at that insertion sort and I can understand what’s happening, but if you were to tell me I was supposed to be able to write that just based off a description I couldn’t. I need to be able to design and understand algorithms but I don’t know where or how to start. There was some course I was gonna try and see what that does. I put aside JS completely to focus on C# but I’m just stressing out over here. I learned the basics of C# although I feel like I’m learning it wrong but I’m moving on to SQLite and it’s my first Database experience and it’s confusing me and I also don’t know how I’m going to be able to use it for my future applications yet I’m just expecting too much out of me idk I love programming but sometimes it’s a cruel mistress13
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Learning AWS, and it took me 2 hours to figure out that I can't connect to my database because I forgot to press the button to allow public access
I partially blame amazon, because a button that important shouldn't be so small and hidden, but I'm still an idiot6 -
YES!
Finished a complete version upgrade with vastly improved scalability and maintenance in just 3 weeks!
NO!
I forgot to do the database migrations as I went along. Ok... no problem.. I'll just use some kind of database comparing software, I'm sure they exist...
<googles...>
...fuck... is there not any for free?
Ok fine whatever i'll manually compare the tables and columns, fuck it. Sure there's like 50 tables and like 20 columns per... whatever...
should take like a day or so, with testing...
YES!
Finished my new version upgrade after just 6 weeks of coding!
....fuck sakes... -
"Hello,
it turns out we probably caused the downtime ourselves. I didn't know dropping 170 databases and deleting 80 entire projects at once could do that"
Gave me a hearty chuckle. Especially as the client adamantly refused to have SSDs installed for the DB to run on top.
Just imagining the poor read-write heads jerking back and forth in vain attempts to find all the data to delete... So yes, dropping 170 databases at once does in fact take a database server down to its knees, as deleting is all the drives will be doing for a while.
At least it wasn't my or my colleague's mistake this time.6 -
Project requirements include a database. I don't have permissions to create a new database on the server, so I go to the person that spins up new servers and deals with group policy. They rustle some papers around, looking aggravated, throws up hands and says, "I guess I'm the DBA now..." Well, what the fuck am I supposed to do shithead? Ask the web team to do it? We don't have a DBA. My boss has been gone all week and, really, this isn't a hard task. You check a fucking box.
Whatever, I'll remember this when they need a favor from me.6 -
Why would anyone use -1 for true and 0 for false in a database.
Booleans people!!! FFS
Making migration of old project a real PITA4 -
What happens when you give a database design to your boss as per what he wants done, he sees it is not impressed, scolds you, curses you out and claims you are 'fraud'. Then you tell him you can do better to redeem yourself...you submit the work better than the first time
And then he terminates you due to 'lack of proficiency'.3 -
Do you know how MySQL got it's name? Well, it's a really interesting thing one should know. Atleast, I find it really amusing.
~Michael "Monty" Widenius is one of the founder of MySQL and one of his daughter's name is My(after whom MySQL was named).~7 -
Error reporting was flooded with failed database connection connections with me being baffled what was causing it.
Yeah, fucking network operator didn't tell us anything about maintenance work. Fuck you, too. -
I want to cry... Fuck it.. shiit. .. :( :( ;(
Wasted half of the Weekend to Setup MySQL on my vServer which uses ssl encryption, have specific User and so on.
Thought: well, the User mysql is not so good as a Name. Drop it, you don't need it.
What did I? Instead of Drop User mysql , I typed Drop Database mysql.
Fuck that fucking Shit. I'm so sad right now. Broked the complete MySQL Database. Nothing is working anymore. And the server is new, I've Just made One Backup. Deleted this a few hours ago.. also accidently.
Help me :( Shit :( so sad :( Now, I don't have Motivation anymore to work with the vServer :(3 -
I can't convince my team that a good database model promotes a good API design and a good UI/UX experience.
Instead, I have to work with a ridiculous table setup.
Imagine, if you will, a table (table B) that references another table (table A) via a foreign key. The FK is a string in both tables. And table A only has one column, which is labeled as "name".
The schema i have to look at it kind of like this:
Table parent
Name varchar(10) primary key
Table child
Name varchar (10),
parent_name varchar(10),
Foreign key (parent_name) references parent (name)
Sorry if the syntax is wrong, a little frustrated having to look at it...
Am I crazy to want to change this table design? Am I missing something? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills, because this is just scratching the surface of the problems I have to deal with.7 -
You know when you are suddenly push to a new position that you are not familiar with?
Well I just became a server database/cloud expert. Fuck me.
Been Googling for a while now. If anyone has any advice, I'll appreciate it.
Anything free and open source, even better.6 -
I was asked to update the whole confidential, financial database by exporting it as excel, and using Macros to edit its content. Much akin to adding one extra attribute per row.
The truth is, the table originally had 6.3k records. After updating and putting the data back to NoSQL database again, I realized I ended up creating 7k rows of data. Yet it works just perfect !
*HAILS TO ALMIGHTY FOR THE MIRACLE*
Sometimes, I still wonder where did those effin 700 rows come from, even after I skipped an excel while uploading2 -
Occasionally, some guys send badly written SQL to the database and drained most of the resources, then complain the db and apps using the db are not working.
-
working against a database over a bugged VPN connection, which gives you periodically timeouts, after the request takes 15 minutes 😑
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This rant can basically be boiled down to the name of the software in use/question:
FileMaker Pro 8.5
Please chime in if you have ever had the privelege of working with this gem of a database program, especially the scripting capabilities...
Trying to make it print/save/export an individual PDF file into a folder specified/created by one field with the filename set from another field. Will probably get it to work but the drag and drop scripting style reminds me of setting up an autoclicker for runescape; so fricken painful. Love to hear your comments.
Also happens to be running on an ancient PPC G5 iMac with 1 Gig of RAM running 10.4.11 hidden in the back room of an old warehouse with extra creepy flickering lights...
EFFF EMMM ELLL
So yeah thats my rainy Friday rant, hope you all are having this much fun.5 -
building a database is like building a bridge, one missing attribute and the whole application breaks2
-
Today I was forced to write spaghetti code.
When your database structure isn't set up properly, that happens...
I'm already sure I will need to revisit this piece of literal shit when we revise that structure. Though, it'll be much easier and logical, and I'll probably be able to just delete a big part of the code and implement it as intended. -
I just don't get people designing database tables using VARCHAR/VARCHAR2 for columns that have numeric values in them, then use them as row identifiers.
I simply don't.
5 -
When I think my teachers can get any worse after sending me snippets of several Java classes in a single txt, one of them sent me SQL code of a full database dump in a Word document. 8 pages of SQL in its full glory!
I guess using the proper file extension/format or a service like PasteBin or GitHub Gist is way too advanced for them. -
Arrg, need to also make a database for an application, because client doesn't want to give access to their own db. fookin Brian3
-
Oh look a database, lets search it..
800 hits later, great, lets look at them all.
*Only displays top 100*
FX [ Angry look... ]
So, how the hell do I get to look at the other 700 !!!
Reminds me of some years ago a job website, that would only display the top 100 in searches, out of like 50,000 jobs..
Only solution was to search every single sub entry, only a few thousand of those !16 -
Hello not a rant,
Are there MS SQL Server admins here who self taught and learn thru self study?
I work in a company where they use MS SQL Server as the database. I would love to 'understand' how to write efficient queries, and how things really work, not just selecting and joining table blindly and not understanding how things work.
Would you recommend how you understand MS SQL Server, or what learning path you took?
Thank you. I would appreciate any suggestions and comments.10 -
FUCK YOU EMOJIS! FUCK YOU AND YOUR EVER FUCKING GOD DAMN SPECIAL WAY OF BEING HANDLED.
Now that I have that part out...
I really fucking hate emoji at this time. Currently I'm working on one of my projects that has markdown support. One of the things I'm extendending the parser with is github style emoji (eg. :smile:) now this part works great. The problem however is getting that short code into a unicode char for HTML. And at the same time I have to take any unicode emoji inserted into the text box by phones and stuff and convert them into the shortcode (My database does support emoji but it's much nicer to store all emoji with the same standard)
All of this has taken 5 hours of research (needed a database of unicode -> short names) and several hours of converting the data from someone elses json into something I can use. (AKA Shrinking the damn file to only what I need) and now I've spent 5 more hours working on the actual code. And I still don't have it working properly.3 -
Should I learn a database language before backend, or vice versa? I’m thinking that I learning Rails and some form of SQL.2
-
SO , i just ran into this database called ArangoDB and it claims to single handedly beat Mongo,Neo4j,Postgres and claims to be capable of handling any use case you can throw at it.
If anyone could verify this claim , such an ideal database just makes me question it's existence.5 -
Fridays..
I was sitting in Office, reading some documentation today before I can leave for Weekend. Suddenly my co-worker next to my shouts fuck.
He is one of our database engineers and he got notified that one of the prod db Servers was on 100% and the storage was on 95% out of nowhere. So he checked that and someone else started a comparison between two large datasets.
Line by line.
Logging every cell result in a log file.
That resultet in a insanely fast growing lock file in the size of a few hundred Gigabytes.
So he looked up who did that stuff and tried to call him but it seems like the other dev leaved Right after starting his crappy script.
So he had to get his private number to call him so they could kill that script without Breaking the prod db… -
Here is a little Story/Joke:
Once I was doing some work on our sql database and I showed my boss the query I wrote and he then told me that it is way to broad. It does the trick but it searches much more. So he showed me the right query and told me that a database is like a extremely easy to trigger person. So we want to ask only as little as possible to not get the database pissed. Since he told me that, it is now stuck in my brain and I will never forget to optimise my queries :D2 -
For those who worked with Firebase database..
is it safe (and possible) to make everyone can read/write data without being authenticated, and restrict deleting data to the authenticated users?
Thanks7 -
That feeling when you are asked to export data with columns that have never existed in the database...😞
-
Found out a contractor stored 2.5 million rows of user info as json objects. 2.5 million is our sample size. Please tell me this is nuts right... Searching that would be taxing right?4
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I'm studying Databases and I'm getting confused about Foreign Key.
A Foreign Key made reference to Primary Key of another table. But what's the point? Can't I simply use a value and select requested data where TableA value is equal to TableB value?
Sorry if I didn't explain it well, I'm so confused lmao7 -
!rant
Is making a class just for opening and closing a database connection taking Single Responsibility to far?4 -
the industry we try to make for them their first inhouse app, is having a lot of data that we need to import to the app. (machines, workers, materials, products, etc). The problem is that they want to give them to us in excel files, instead of making data entry. So thats ok for start, but after some point of complexity and relations we figured out that it turns to be a deadend.
How do you manage situations like this, with huge old fashion companies??4 -
So this is the scenario:
A Database Error Occurred: You must use the “set” method to update an entry
This is the code:
$this->db->where('id', $id);
return $this->db->update('contractors', ((array) $contractor));
And it gives me the error A Database Error Occurred: You must use the "set" method to update an entry.8 -
Hey all, can you guys recommend some great books on database theory and design. Something aimed towards intermediate towards advanced. It doesn't have to be sql, I just want to learn how to make a kick a#@ db.
Thanks!!!!!!!
6 -
installing oracle 11gr2 database via docker is so easy and quick rather installing to the system
Totally saved my time, now I can have more time for learnig1 -
Soo, lets talk about deadlines and how often I come in trouble when there is one near. This week I have (had) three. So I had a lot of problems this week.
But, after all today was a really good day.
I deleted an production database, fucked up my laravel migrations and tomorrow we have to deploy another application. The app is still in development and the site isn´t finished yet.
Friday I need to launch another webapplication. Because I don't want to deploy webapps and apps on friday and I go snowboarding next week, I somehow convinced my client to launch it next week. He agreed with me, so that's a burden off my shoulder. And I'll have an extra day for fixing the last bugs.
Today I worked really hard and almost finished the last application. So I think after all I'll somehow manage it.1 -
i know i am late to the party, but i am beginning to fall in love with json for my use of static data procession!
-
So we have a website on our server fir company related things and I wanted to build a projectplanner so my boss told me I should use serialized arrays since we already have a database with all the projects and the id. So I told my boss that I want to make a new database since serialized arrays are bad and slow and he said just do it anyway. So I did and after I did it I told him its slow and he told me do it with a new databse. And I was like LOL but I didnt mind since I learned a lot rebuilding it + its much faster now and I didnt have to do anything anyways so it was a win win :)1
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How do you restore partial data from a mysql backup? Don't worry, nothing is wrong, I'm just thinking about how would I restore something if shit hits the fan.
Our current strategy for database backups is to just run mysqldump during the night, using a cronjob (feel freue to suggest a better way ;))
1) Restoring the full db: just read that sql file into the mysql command.
2) Restoring just one (or some) tables: open the file in an IDE, just select the lines you're after, copy them to a new file, read that one (possible issues: let's say we have a table B to which entries of table A are related and we just want to restore table A. We can't nuke table B too, as also table C is refering to it, so we have to do some orphant removal in B afterwards)
3) Restoring selected entries in specific tables: setup a new db, read the full backup in there, dump these entries to a new file and read that into the real db
How do you so it? Any better aproaches/tools?8 -
I so hate working with legacy db code! I wish I could migrate all to entity framework but the migration is a pain in the ass and would take hours which the client wouldn't like.
1 -
So we have outsourced one of systems (i dodnt had enough time to do it myself)
I know, i know, i could finish there.
We all know that there is a possibility if you need to add timestamp to table to know when row was created. Its worth mentioning its table used to count money.
So we have that thing, vouchers, and of course they have expiry date on them.
Orginal authors vanished (bielarus or how its in english, they have ongoing shitstorm, so i understand) and I needed to make a small adjustment.
So ya all would expect that field 'created_at' which defaults to current_timestamp() would be... Well current timestamp, of creation of record, right? Riiiiight?
WRONG.
Their hacky solutions INC decided its great idea to make that date of expiry, and current timestamp on use.
Becouee fuck logic and clarity.3 -
Spent 2 days optimizing SQL queries, and then I learned a valuable lesson.
If your database size is bigger than the RAM of the machine it’s running on, every query will take 5+ seconds ☹️4 -
I finally got my web app functioning properly, but now the way I have to pull data to it is killing the performance of the database. Now I need to figure out how to push the data on update.1
-
I want to do some kind of simple note-taking web-app, with a Golang-Backend.
I need to choose a database, but don't have any clue about DBs.
Every note will consist of 3 strings, let's call them content, pubkey and privkey and I want to retrieve a saved note by searching for pubkey.
Can you recommend me any particular DB or at least an all-round solution ?3 -
Our system is supposed to go live today, and of course the customer waited till the last day to test it.. Guess which system is currently not working on the test instance because the test database is offline for a whole day due to migration
-
Found out the database was missing a record from the parent table. The app hummed along perfectly, pulling all the data from child records.
TL;DR: This app uses the worst possible database form if everything you need is duplicated into all the child records every time.4 -
What local database you guys use??
I am searching for local db that also provide encryption for windows desktop application.
* found sqlite but most add-on that provide encryption are not free *12 -
I really love it when im working on a really huge database with tens of millions of rows, and the db plugin for intelliJ tries to load the HOLE FUCKING TABLE ending up with intellij, and the whole computer freezing and i have to wait for a memory warning from the os before i can restart the program.
-
Mfw the CREATE TABLE statements in the SQLite database handler of my latest android app run perfectly first time
-
Quick and dirty job to get some data into a DB wasted my entire evening.
Created table with few columns, tried writing to it from NodeJS app and it kept complaining I wasn't providing values for columns that didn't even exist. After ages pissing about decided that the DB gods had cursed this particular table so created a second one with same DDL. Now it worked first fucking time. Then it finally dawned on me, I'd managed to pick a reserved table name and the RDBMS didn't think to give me a warning when I created it. Not only did it not warn me but it kept going as it nothing was the matter and didn't report the extra columns on a SELECT *. -
Since this has been trending recently, here's my six word horror story -
"I accidentally deleted the production database"2 -
A non-relationship database system with drag and drop + business process flows. It was fun at first, but like my Android phone, it slowed the **** down so much that it affected business operations. Must have been their evil plan all along.
-
Yeasterday I was making some changes in my database in sqldbm and I guess I forgot to change something, so when I logged in it was I an unsaved draft and if I would like to load it. Obviously I said yes!
Now I see every change I made yesterday is gone! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK1 -
Admittedly as an engineer my SQL knowledge is minimal and I develop database driven web applications on a daily basis. Most programming languages have object-relational-mappers that handle things for me. I have a unified object store with easy querying and SQL is handled form me. You don’t have to be an expert in every technology to be an engineer.8
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Found this book in a garage sale in our country. It costs 1USD
This type of book or any modern related programming book is rare in our country.
3 -
And now the boss want to have a user table in the db where I can change the id of the user (primary key) when ever HE wants... And all the other table are connect to the user trough the id...2
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I wanted to know what is the worst mistake you make on database.
I have actually implements the logic of token access control on database and not on business logic layer.
The database have a login procedure which accept username and password. That login procedure actually hash the password and try to authenticate user.
If it is a correct user , it generate a token. In other to use other procedure on database , you must provide a token. By using that token , the procedure know who is it and what permission is granted to that user.4 -
Arg. I messed up bad today. Updated 17k records in database by mistake and had to rollback and apologize...
I won't rush on a task for rest of the day1 -
wow, its 4 am, nd i have been working with complex sqlite databases in my apps for near an year now.
And today at 12pm is my database paper and i don't know shit about the theory and technical terms in this xD -
I feel bad for trying to implement emoji support in our web application, but yeah #2017..
And damn, php + mysql + emojis.. What a pain in the ass.
"Just change your table charset, they said, it will work, they said" FML4 -
#include <helpme>
Ok guys I kinda need your help. I have to write a python project for my school in 3 days and instead of saving everything in files I want to have a database. So my question is can you suggest the most simplest and easiest db to create and connect to Python for a few simple tables. Also the easiest to set up on another computer since my professor will probably want to try it at home.
Also I have to learn Python in 3 days, since I already know a couple of languages, I'm confident I can pull it off. Why I'm asking for help is I need to document it all, that will probably take a chunk out of these 3 days.5 -
Had to do a school project with PostgreSQL and absoluted hated it.
>>fast foward 5 months>>
New job, new project. After one week of trying to connect to a local database with MySql, Xammp and Wampp without sucess guess wich database worked...
We are now best friends. -
When you make an account again, because the site in question fucked up all their users accounts when moving databases, and after 5 tries for a new password, because they seem to contain too complicated characters, they send you your password in clear text. My goodness..
1 -
I have to build a database migration that generates user handles. The user handles are unique within an organization. The user can change them. The auto generated handles are either the first name + last name, or the business name depending on which user type it is. Unless it would be a duplicate. Duplicates auto increment if the handle is taken. The character limit for a user handle is the same length as first name plus last name so I have to check for possible overflow if I add digits. I also have to see if the generated name is in the DB already because a user could have custom entered the result of the auto generation.
This has to be programmed async. The DB driver is using a transaction but multiple calls have to be made to check if the generated handle exists for that organization. Also I have to check the migration script itself for possible duplicates. 3/4 of the users have a handle and with the scale there will definitely be duplicate names.
My idea is if there is a collision, use a UUID and let the users pick something nicer next time they log in. Business says “Reeeeeee!!!! The users shouldn’t see a UUID!!! You can do this!!!” Absurd uniqueness requirements. Absurd backfill procedure. Absurd business rules.2 -
The 5 step process to my average day:
1. Client doesn't want to pay for an admin dashboard that can be tested
2. Client wants to us to make ad hoc changes to the data in the production database
3. Client wants things done quickly without testing
4. Client complains when things go wrong
5. Me: (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻2 -
Is granting read access to a client app a good practice? Intefrations should be done through APIs, jms and the like, right? My opinion is it should be a no no to do the integration on the database layer bypassing the app even if both apps are internal service which are completely different products. opinions are much appreciated.9
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This one time last year a colleague found out that some data went missing and suggested to recover the data from a backup. When trying to create a new database instance in the Google Cloud Platform (if everything works it's amazing!) it failed.
Not knowing why this happened, I tried to revert that backup to the production database, after creating a backup using the GCP. Needless to say that failed as well, resulting in a corrupted database instance where I couldn't access the created backups anymore.
This all went at around 10pm and the only users of our product are currently in the same timezone and use it from around 7.30AM until 6PM so no one besides our team knew the server was down.
After a long night chatting Google's support team the database was successfully recovered and the only harm done was sleep depravation for me and a colleague.
Apparently there was a bug in the GCP. It was resolved in two hours and the last time a breaking bug was in that piece was more than seventy days earlier.
I did at least learn to create local backups as well, instead of relying on the tools of the same product...
Best: the moment I saw the corrupted database spin up again and not losing my job because of it. -
If a developer made a database design choice (too short field length) 3 years ago on a project, should the development studio or customer be expected to fit the bill for any time taken to fix.
It was only small so we did it for free, but I just wandered what's the norm?12 -
Storing de-normalized data in NoSql when used to relational data feels like I am vomiting on the database
-
Finally dropped our old useless in-house legacy content editor (built by another team) today. Going through the database and ripping out all the shit that we had to keep for legacy support is the most liberating feeling I've had in weeks!1
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Anyone familiar with Wordpress site migration?
I'm trying to move a client site from my dev server to theirs, seem to do so fine, but all urls still point to my dev domain.
A search and replace plugin was recommended but it doesn't seem to be updating the database references correctly...or at all.
Not sure if anyone would mind lending some insight so I don't have to essentially redo the whole website over :p8 -
Another question for Database-Gurus:
Is a MySQL table with 4 columns and about 42000+ rows considered 'big' or should the table be split in smaller pieces?5 -
I am in need of a good web host for my personal website... the one I use now is free and therefore sucks. I can't even get external access to the MySQL database and their SQL client sucks.9
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Y'know, there are some things that are timeless. Like bug severity arguments. We don't have a "likeliness of occurrence" parameter in the bug database. We just have "severity if it occurs". You have to classify it as such. The bug database IS NOT FOR RISK MITIGATION ACTIVITIES IT'S FOR FIXING THE FUCKING SOFTWARE!!! STOP MAKING THESE DAMN MEETINGS TAKE 30 YEARS BY QUESTIONING THE SYSTEM THAT WAS ESTABLISHED IN THE BEFORE TIMES BY PEOPLE WHO ARE ABOVE YOUR PAY GRADE!!! TINDER BOX!!! MATCH!!! GODS DAMMIT!!!
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Soooooo, how often does it happen that someone nukes a database and attempts for a restore fail?
Asking for a friend, who happens to be "future me"
Iam very much not responsible for fixing it but I will have a whole lot of work....7 -
Me, trying to access an old mysql database on a Linux server, the root user gets rejected. Out of frustration I delete mysql entirely and try to start again.
I was not using sudo to access the root user...
In the bright side, the deleted mysql version was actually an old one, the database is actually fine.1 -
In our application we now need the possibility to add visit hours to addresses. Each day has 3 possible visit moments with a from and to hour and some indicator, and a comment, like this:
monday_visit_from_1, monday_visit_to_1, monday_visit_ind_1, (repeat for 2 and 3), monday_visit_comment (repeat for all 7 days)
For "performance" they (db admin) decided to add all the fields of all the days as separate columns in the address table, 70 in total.
Besides being a horrible design it is a fucking pain to work with, like find if an address can be visited on a given day and time we need to check a subset of columns based on the day and the 3 moments in this day.
Is this really more performant than an extra table to hold the visit moments and is this something that gets done in more places?1 -
Me, an apprentice, got to contribute towards a project for the business.
I only have access to the git of that particular project, no access to the other projects, databases or sourcecodes.
Thing is, we basically have to redo an old programm to access and work with the database, so having access to the sourcecode of that or access to the database would be very very helpful.
I have to guess the attributenames of the tables and what the code looked like that assembled all the data together for the overview.
I feel incredibly unprepared for this. -
3 database-admins are walking into a bar. Shortly the leave without ordering or even sit down for one sinple reason: they couldn't find a table.1
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Trying to learn react and Next.js so far having one hell of a time even connecting a mongodb atlas database and displaying the data. Guides show nothings, YouTube shows nothing. Fun.5
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I was writing a db on sql and I accidentally fucked up the key column.(as you can see in the pic) No, I didnt used AUTO_INCREMENT.
Is there a wei to make this right, other than doing it one by one?
3 -
Asked to map the old database into a diagram. Looks like someone threw up spaghetti. It is so full of tables named "obsolete" I don't understand!
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Why do you fucking retards make the tinyint column nullable AGAIN and use 'null' as false instead of setting fucking false!
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I needed to migrate one DB to another with one sql suite but instead I fucked up and suddenly disconnected both DBs, without being able to reconnect them again
I waisted a whole day for debugging, but found nothing
And guess which magic fixed all issues? On and Off a service of an app
On and Off!!!
The fun thing is that restarting the server didn't help, but the only service helped1 -
I have for a very long time wondered about, what do people do when using git and databases? If I locally add new columns to the db, how in the world would you easily make the change in production?
Do I really have to manually do it or take the time to make scripts for it?2 -
In the last days, my developer was working with different kinds of databases.
He uses a database, named TimeScale DB (Timescale). This is the plugin of a famous SQL database PostgreSQL.
He imports the same data in PostgreSQL and timescale DB.
Size in Timescale DB is = 24KB
Size in Simple PostgreSQL = 166MB
This is the record of 1000000 rows, 12 columns.
Data fetching is the same on both databases, But if we fetch time-based data, (e.g 2 days, 24 hours, From Date to Date) we have a 50% to 200% difference depending on the query. python3 & elixir is also working fine with DB.
Results are also nearly the same with InfluxDB.
For a specific use-case, we have software that is handling Simple and time-series data at the same time. If anyone wants to suggest something new, Also tell us. -
Best eays to improve database performance?
I have a huge database table with a lot of data, 10+columns and around 5-6million rows and growing. We are thinking about optimisation methods, the data will be frequently accessed, but not in the same ways. even though caching is helping, some initial requests take 6-20secs. What are good ways to improve a relational db performance? The data is date and item based, every item can have some data back from 2016 or older and up to 1000 related rows in each day. Every day new data would be added. Right now working with php.9 -
So I have spent the entire morning trying to fix null values in the database, because they keep fucking up my code.
I hate the fucking person who made the database at the place I work, dude has not heard of a thing called NOT NULL!!! -
Hello everyone, i'd like to know which databade do you all use and what will be a good database for a beginner?7
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stdclass arrays of php are a good solution to work with data from the database but sometimes they can be a pain in the ass...7
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Question for database gurus:
I need to save the openig hours of my clients in a database. Each day should have different opening hours and also the possibility for 2 breaks during the opening hours. There should also be an option for different local holidays for each client.
How to I acomplish this in a clean/performant/scalable way? Thank you for your answers!10 -
Intelligent Development class (yeah, that's how it's titled), teacher leaves us as first task to develop our own Database, because later we will make it a fuzzy database.
She gave us three days. Three (counting me) in the team. I began working on Interfaces (Java development) and so on, using GitHub for VCS and documenting each method.
This assholes didn't even ask what was missing or what should they do. One day before date, I told them "Hey, I think I can nail the underlying file management tonight, so, work on the language parser, please"
Stood awake until 1 A.M., waiting for their reply, but there wasn't any.
Next day, I'm the only one of the team and I tried to decline the presentation of my work, but a friend encouraged me, because it was my work and I worked hard.
Presentation went better than expected.
After the class, I have another with one of my team members, he asks "How did you do?", "Us? You meant me, because the other prick didn't go".
And that's all, not another single question nor explaining why did he didn't answered the DM's I sent.
Fuck those guys, fucking team of shit, I hate it when you can't pick your team, but I guess that's just a common place for all of us here, isn't it?3 -
Started adding image urls to my database fixture.json for my django project... 57 done... 352 to go.... for the first of 3 different models
why isn't there any consistency in their urls? thank god, there are substances to suffer these parts of development...
so fine, I do what I have to do, for a hopfully thankful community -
Took a Database exam today and tell me this, WHO THE HELL MAKES 40% OF AN EXAM MULTIPLE CHOICE? LIKE WHY?3
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"Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth"
The reason why I implement my own DAO in Android -
Neo4j vs Mongo vs SQL
Which one would you choose for a high density scalable database?
Please comment with your ideas about speed and scalability.15 -
What's your favorite way to expose a SQL database? Or interface with it?
Using mysql workbench right now and it's a bit much for my users.9 -
You guys have any good resource to learn SQL database design with ERDs? All I can find are really Basic examples but nothing that goes a bit deeper1
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A question guys, I'm looking for a DB client. We are using SQL Management Server Studio, but its way way overkill for a frontend guy like me.
Min Requirements:
- Needs to be simple
- Must support MSSQL
- Plugin support and/or dark mode
- Free and/or not too buggy evaluation (like Sublime or Winrar)
- GUI should be reasonably modern
- Should also be native. Our database is a denormalized mess.6 -
Okay so Ive been working on a custom queueing system
basically the system generates ticket numbers for checked in paients and then assigne them to a room when it's their turn to be attended to
so I'm having some challanges with the database when the patient finishes their session with the Dr the admin can remove them from the queue and is supposed to reset the room.state = 0 //which means room in unoccupied
this is proving to be problematic coz it's not even finding the room
😕 😕 😕 😕1 -
I love DataGrip. But has anyone a database management software that's better? Just to keep my options open.5
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Sometimes I think the relational model is a disservice to humanity.
Sometimes I love it.
But mostly I hate it.1 -
Database operation wordpress plugin
Project Type
Open source project
Summary
Add more feature to the existing plugin features
Description
Completed the first revision for this Wordpress database plugin with little features such as querying and displaying wordpress database tables, I would like more elaborate and streamlined features to add to the stack, some ideas are recorded as issues on the github link below.
Tech Stack
wordpress API, PHP, HTML, CSS, JS
Current Team Size
1
URL
https://github.com/devDeji/...5 -
Currently working on a conversion of a tool we use to keep track of our working hours (like how much time did we spend on that task, that project etc.), because the old version of that language sucks ass and the database system sucks even more ass.
Besides the other stuff that's freaking horrible in that fucking shit tool (crashes when entering wrong input, etc.) - the genius that created that peace of crap (1997!) decided that he wants to use a fucking timestamp as a PK-column on some tables.
Why the fuck would you that?! Jesus fuckin' christ.
And of course, the fuckin apprentice has to deal with this shit and has to be finished yesterday x)3 -
!rant
I wanna have multiple users be able to write data into one central database from their phones where the database will be storing potentially millions of data. Is it possible? If so, how do I do it?8 -
When the vendor did a search page but retrieve all the records from the database and paginate them with js, and the load test crashes with 20 concurrent users!!!
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Things I say at work:
"...and the words 'ghetto' and 'database architecture' don't ever belong in the same sentence." -
Proccess hangs after my integration tests run because of a database connection that isnt being closed somewhere >.<... node doesnt make it any either to debug either. Fml.
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