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I need lessons on how to be a developer and have a girlfriend

Comments
  • 4
    I'm so happy I started developing after I got married haha
  • 1
    simply put find a social hobby besides computers, mines pool
  • 3
    The answer to your question varies wildly on whether or not you have a girlfriend and mean to keep her or mean to find one.

    Don't pretend to be something you're not, it'll suck for both of you. If you pretend to be a certain person and you're not, then she will be upset that you aren't and so will you. Be yourself, find whatever charisma you have, don't hide your passions (although keep in mind others might not share them), and you'll eventually find someone. You have to put yourself out there where you can meet new people. In order for a girl to like you, she has to get to know you a little, and she can't do that unless you present yourself.

    Don't be worried about rejection, all rejection is is you finding out things weren't meant to be sooner rather than later down the line.
  • 0
    use the art of nlp and game theory to get yourself out there. not to get laid of course just to build up that skill set and be more social.
  • 2
    Also, the huge benefit about just being yourself and not trying to be something else is that you'll be much more confident and comfortable.
  • 9
    As a female developer I can say the biggest reason I avoided people who were computer savvy was the inability to just be real with others. So many young devs seem to suffer very badly from social issues which is really unfortunate as a lot of them are really smart, amazing people.

    I recently came out as bi (boo, sexuality) and am currently in a relationship with a girl who works in infosec. Having a lot of common interests with someone I am super close to is awesome. I ended up meeting her on a discord server about programming.

    I'd say practice being more sociable if you struggle with it (as I do), and once you do find someone, be yourself and try not to be too anxious or needy about the future. Put in the effort that a relationship takes, but don't let your relationship define your life.
  • 3
    Even though development is only a part of my interests (I'm studying psychology and I'm really into music production and photography) I think it's safe to say @sheeponmeth put it very well.

    Be yourself, but also leave the house every now and then. I met my girlfriend on Yik Yak when I was looking for a job. I got the job and apparently we both had a crush on each other, but nothing happened until we bumped into each other on a night out. Then we started meeting up regularly and eventually got together. It's been almost a year now.

    I wasn't actively looking for a relationship, it sort of just happened. Don't be desperate, but make sure that you actually can meet potential partners. I can guarantee you that someone will like your for whoever you are. Don't give up what you like for someone, instead try to balance the two.
  • 1
    I'm an introvert, she's an extrovert and it still works :)
  • 5
    How to get a girlfriend :
    1- Learn C#.
    2-Learn 3D Max.
    3-Make a girlfriend VR simulator on Unity.
    4-???
    5-profit !!
  • 3
  • 1
    @pixilz Beautiful advice. You pretty much talked about my experiences with my girlfriend and me.

    Woo!
  • 1
    Be interested in her, ask questions about her life/day. Don't talk about your life/day, that is for her to ask about.
    Simple advice that has helped me in my relationship tremendously!
  • 1
    I solved that problem by doing the stuff I love outside the 4 walls. Coding in a cafe or drinking coffee in a workshop or even coding and listening my favorite tunes in a nearby park. Eventually you will gf-pull a similar. Be you.
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