I got a guy in my team but different location who is completely useless. He doesn't do anything useful, yet always have something to say.

Manager(M) asking him for progress on some task via email:
M: Any progress on this?
Useless guy: oh yes we have to tasks to solve *long description of the tasks*
M: Yup I was asking if there was any progress since we agreed this yesterday

And now there is radio silence since Friday :)