I was thinking cuz everything sucks I'll suck just as hard as everyone else. had an argument with AI about what's the difference between manipulation and abuse and it wasn't very convincing. we live in a world of fake people and if you aren't manipulating then you're persona non-grata... not a team player! the irony

but really I don't have it in me to be abusive. so now I'm thinking I'm gonna become a masochist. the eternal depression pain is becoming part of me now, and I want to do self-destructive things. I may as well turn this into something useful

instead of choosing what sucks the least, I'll choose what sucks the most and take sick pleasure in it. seems like a workable strategy