CEO: Ok guys, we need x feature by Friday
Me: This would normally take more than a month!
CEO: But I already told our customers we'll have this feature
Me: ...

Why the fuck does the management never consult me for timelines.

  • 8
    because if they did this then it would make it all that more obvious that their position and job title was no longer required.
  • 18
    Because they are managers and they sell unicorns*.

    *Horses with a dildo on their head as we didn't have enough time to find an actual unicorn.
  • 2
    Because the company has inept managers who do not realize that development needs a scrum master and product owner per team?
  • 1
    Cool.. this is gonna take me about 2 months. What do we want to do?

    We can hire a consultancy for a bit, or we can prioritize features, and manage expectations..?
  • 1
    I would simply leave the conversation with: I'm paid to work for the feasible.
  • 1
    What do you do to prevent that?
  • 1
    @DataJockey Let their decisions explode on their faces. Pretty effective actually.
  • 1
    @peenoise that's what I like to hear! Great!
  • 4
    He knows mostly developers accept absurd deadlines because they're afraid of losing their jobs or being publicly shamed for not taking the "challenge".
  • 1
    This is so real, they just want you to do it like magic
  • 1
    Worst part is if you decide to actually manage to get it done until the deadline somehow and your reward is not only subpar code, but also the acknowledgement by management, that this apparently can be handled this way.
  • 3
    @Maer acknowledgement that that and 10 other completely unrelated things can as well. But you know like @Cesar said, just abracadabra that shit and you'll be good.
  • 2
    @M1sf3t yep, a magician never tell his secrets
  • 1
    Me: And now you get to tell them that it will take more than a month.

    I did that once or twice. 😈
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