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An entirely typical exchange at work:
PM: How long would it take to build an application that collates Gubblefluffs and exports them as a PDF?
ME: Hard to say. What’s a Gubblefluff?
PM: Nothing complex. Its basically an object with some stuff in.
ME: Erm, okay. So I’ll define a Gubblefluff object plus methods to add edit and delete, then for each Gubblefluff have it write a line to a PDF.
PM: It will need to email that PDF to somebody.
ME: Okay, cool. “Gubblefluffs-by-email” should take about a day.
6 hours later…
ME: I’ve done Gubblefluffs-to-pdf, I’m not clear on what’s in a Gubblefluff but I’ve made it flexible so it can take almost anything.
PM: No, a Gubblefluff can ONLY be one of 4 Snigglefingers plus a timestamp and some JSON.
ME: What? Right. Okay. What’s a Snigglefinger?
PM: (sighs) A Snigglefinger is the collection of relevant Babelsets.
ME: Babelsets?
PM: Yeah, a user can have any number of Babelsets but they must correspond to one of the four types of Snigglefingers.
ME: There are users!?
PM: Of course!
ME: But I’ve not coded anything for users.
PM: Shit. I’ve told the client they can have it today. How long to add in users?
ME: And Babelsets, and Snigglefingers and the new Gubblefluff rules?
PM: Yeah.
6 days later…
ME: This is done now. It’s a beast but it works. Who should it email the PDFs to?
PM: Client X, plus cc to Y and bcc to Z.
ME: What? It doesn't support CC and BCC!
1 hour later…
ME: This is done. I’ve tested it and sent you a copy of the PDF it generates.
PM: Okay thanks. Is the cron running daily?
ME: What cron?
…
ME: Okay, so the cron’s running once a day at 8pm.
PM: Oh, it’ll need to be at 3:15pm. That’s when we’ve told the client they’ll get it.
ME: Right. I’ll change it...
PM: Also, the PDF you sent me looks nothing like the visual.
ME: What visual?
...48 -
CS Professor: “What M word is the black hole to all productivity?”
Student: “Management”
CS Professor: “Was going to say meetings but that’s better”13 -
I just helped one of our cleaners get Internet since the management whitelisted devices that can get WiFi access.
I believe that anyone, regardless of position, must have equal access to the resources in this company.11 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."2 -
He gave me task, and I estimated it will take 2 (120 minutes) hours...
He came after 20 minutes to check the progress... Then he came after 40 minutes... Then he call me after 70 minutes... Then he came again after 90 minutes... Then I delivered the task in the time with my resignation letter draft.8 -
There was a previous developer who my managers has told us was terrible and toxic. Yet due to terrible planning, he had everyone work for over 13 hours last Sunday.
I contacted this previous developer to learn his side of the story and learned a lot. I realize between their two narratives is the truth, but I see all the ways we've been lied, the ways this other dev was scapegoated and all the additional work that's sure to come.
I refuse to work weekends again. I refuse to work over 40 hours. I wish I could convince everyone else to do the same. No amount of money is worth making up for bad planning and management.1 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, *"But how'd you know?"**
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."6 -
Project manager logic, explained with babies.
9 women can have 9 babies in 9 month. We only need one baby.
Deadline is one month!10 -
Boss asks me to prefer deadlines over good engineering practice. Says meeting a deadline is always more important than building things the right way.
Son, when the company goes out of business due to hundreds of millions of dollars in losses due to shoddy engineering, do you want to be the one to go to the spouses of everyone who lost their job and say "your spouse lost his job because we didn't take a few more days to build the product right"?
Son, when the company's product blows up in a child's face like a Note 7 because of your shoddy engineering, do you want to go to the funeral and tell the parents "your child died because we didn't take a few more days to build the product right"?
Fuck your arbitrary deadlines. I prefer not allowing for so much grief and suffering to be on my soul.5 -
Got annoyed by hitting f11 instead of f12.
("step into" versus "go to definition").
Solved the problem :)
13 -
Discussion between me and my N+1
(Note : I'm in the company for 3 months)
Me : As the tech leader, shouldn't you review my code ?
N+1 : I'm not the tech leader.
Me : Wait what ?
N+1 : I wrote the app from A to Z, hence I'm the architect.
Me : That's what I mean. Being the most knowledgable dev in the company makes you de facto tech leader.
N+1 : No, I'm not the tech leader. The CEO is.
Me : But he didn't even know the tech we are using !
N+1 : .... Anyway, I won't do code reviews. I don't like that.
(2 hours later)
N+1 : You made a mistake in the code. You broke a hidden functionality. You should be more careful, or ask me if you have doubts.
This guy is collector.3 -
When i ask for a raise -
Boss : Are u joking ? I can see u hardly working.
When I ask for a leave -
Boss : Are u joking ? Who will do your work ?4 -
Welcome back to practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.
Episode 2: Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand
This is a particularly special episode for me, as these problems are taking up so much of my time with non-sensical bullshit, that i'm delayed with everything else. Some badly require tooling or new products. Some are just unnecessary processes or annoyances that should not need to be handled by another human. So lets jump right in, in no particular order:
- Jira ... nuff said? not quite because somehow some blue moon, planets aligning, act of god style set of circumstances lined up to allow this team to somehow make Jira worse. On one hand we have a gigantic Jira project containing 7 separate sub teams, a million different labels / epics and 4.2 million possible assignees, all making sure the loading page takes as long as possible to open. But the new country we've added support for in the app gets a separate project. So we have product, backend, mobile, design, management etc on one, and mobile-country2 on another. This delightfully means a lot of duplication and copy pasting from one to the other, for literally no reason what so ever.
- Everything on Jira is found through a label. Every time something happens, a new one is created. So I need to check for "iOS", "Android", "iOS-country2", "Android-country2", "mobile-<feature>", "mobile-<feature>-issues", "mobile-<feature>-prod-issues", "mobile-<feature>-existing-issues" and "<project>-July31" ... why July31? Because some fucking moron decided to do a round of testing, and tag all the issues with the current date (despite the fact Jira does that anyway), which somehow still gets used from time to time because nobody pays attention to what they are doing. This means creating and modifying filters on a daily basis ... after spending time trying to figure out what its not in the first one.
- One of my favourite morning rituals I like to call "Jira dumpster diving". This involves me removing all the filters and reading all the tickets. Why would I do such a thing? oh remember the 9000 labels I mentioned earlier? right well its very likely that they actually won't use any of them ... or the wrong ones ... or assign to the wrong person, so I have to go find them and fix them. If I don't, i'll get yelled at, because clearly it's my fault.
- Moving on from Jira. As some of you might have seen in your companies, if you use things like TestFlight, HockeyApp, AppCenter, BuddyBuild etc. that when you release a new app version for testing, each version comes with an automated change-log, listing ticket numbers addressed ...... yeah we don't do that. No we use this shitty service, which is effectively an FTP server and a webpage, that only allows you to host the new versions. Sending out those emails is all manual ... distribution groups?? ... whats that?
- Moving back to Jira. Can't even automate the changelog with a script, because I can't even make sense of the tickets, in order to translate that to a script.
- Moving on from Jira. Me and one of the remote testers play this great game I like to call "tag team ticketing". It's so much fun. Right heres how to play, you'll need a QA and a PM.
*QA creates a ticket, and puts nothing of any use inside it, and assigns to the PM.
*PM fires it back asking for clarification.
*QA adds in what he feels is clarification (hes wrong) and assigns it back to the PM.
*PM sends detailed instructions, with examples as to what is needed and assigns it back.
*QA adds 1 of the 3 things required and assigns it back.
*PM assigns it back saying the one thing added is from the wrong day, and reminds him about the other 2 items.
*QA adds some random piece of unrelated info to the ticket instead, forgetting about the 3 things and assigns it back.
and you just continue doing this for the whole dev / release cycle hahaha. Oh you guys have no idea how much fun it is, seriously give it a go, you'll thank me later ... or kill yourselves, each to their own.
- Moving back to Jira. I decided to take an action of creating a new project for my team (the mobile team) and set it up the way we want and just ignore everything going on around us. Use proper automation, and a kanban board. Maybe only give product a slack bot interface that won't allow them to create a ticket without what we need etc. Spent 25 minutes looking for the "create new project" button before finding the link which says I need to open a ticket with support and wait ... 5 ... fucking ... long ... painful ... unnecessary ... business days.
... Heres hoping my head continues to not have a bullet hole in it by then.
Id love to talk more, but those filters ain't gonna fix themselves. So we'll have to leave it here for today. Tune in again for another episode soon.
And remember to always practiseSafeHex16 -
I told my TL about my aspiration of pursuing a Masters degree.
TL: "You don't seem like the sort that is suitable for academy."
Me: "You don't seem like the sort who's suitable for management but here we are..."28 -
Disclaimer: kinda non dev related. Just working to pay the bills right now.
The other day I ran for the train to work, don't want to be fucking late, right?
Arrived and this guy asked me this: (I have a sweating/transpiration problem but I'm fully aware of that)
"hey man, ever heard of fucking showers or deodorant?!"
Yes, I was sweating my ass off and you could smell me but I can't FUCKING help that.
It was very embarrassing and humiliating to get that kinda comment in front of like 30 people but I just swallowed it and went to work.
After the first break, a woman from management came to me and pulled me aside. A few people had complained about how that guy from before said some pretty humiliating stuff to me and she said that the guy received a warning and was told to fucking learn to treat people with respect, regardless of their (health) issues/appearance. I also got an apology and a sorry and if I could keep my eyes open for such behaviour in the future.
I'm very glad that she apologized although it wasn't her fault because I know I've got this health issue and I can't do anything about it yet but it can MOTHERFUCKING hurt when someone talks shit about me when I smell and I CAN'T FUCKING HELP IT BECAUSE THIS IS THE WAY MY BODY WORKS TOO BADLY.
I felt protected and safe about my issue for the first time in my life.
Thanks management!16 -
This fucktard of a 'stick that facility management up your arse' manager.
He insisted 'no cooling required. Trust me'.
While we insisted 'how dare you to asume our servers temperatures'!
We moved our servers to a new /tmp/office/ yesterday. Was quite fun, until we saw this...
Doorhandle is hot as fuck, 50 degrees air temperature, all servers in heat error state. Thank you, you damn fucktards! Take this cactus 🌵 and stick it up your arse!!
Can't work like that.
13 -
Last week we had a short seminar at work about 'listening skill.'
In that speaker gave an example how 'natural' leaders speak last in the meetings.
From that day we are having entirely silent meetings.
Now management is planning seminar on 'Speaking Up'3 -
Arrived at a game jam in an animation school. I hope they're better at game design than they are at cable management :)
7 -
Apparently working 80+ hour weeks for a year gets you "met expectations" in your review since "shit rolls down the hill".3
-
A while back a co-worker of mine fucked up by leaving some debug code and pushing to production.
He quickly repaired it, redeployed and everything was good again before the customer experienced any issues.
Later that day, management showed up by his desk to ask what happened, how it happened and stating that he was not "angry enough" about his fuck up, long after it has been repaired.
Up to this day i regret not asking in what unit of measurement we could determine if we were angry enough; decibels? gray hairs? grams of shit in my underwear?4 -
I don't want to write clean code anymore :(
I read Clean Code, Clean Coder, and watched many uncle bob's videos, and I was able to apply best practices and design patterns
I created many systems that really stood the test of time...
Management was kind enough to introduce me to uncle bob clean code in the first place, letting us watch it during work hours. after like one year, my code improved 400% minimum because I am new and I needed guidance from veterans...
That said, to management I am very slow, compared to this other guy, they ask me for a feature and my answer would be like "sure, we need to update the system because it just doesn't support that right now, it is easy though it would take 2 days tops"
they ask the same thing for the other guy : "ok let me see what I can do", 1 hour later, on slack, he writes : done. he slaps bunch of if-statement and make special case that will serve the thing they asked for.
oh 'cool' they say -> but it doesn't do this -> it needs to do that -> ok there is a new bug,-> it doesn't work in build mode-> it doesn't work if you are logged in as a guest, now its perfect ! -> it doesn't work on Android -> ok it works on android but now its not perfect anymore.
and they feel like he is fast (and to be fair he is), this feature? done. ok new bugs? solved. Android compatibility ? just one day ... it looks like he is doing doing doing.
it ends up taking double the time I asked for, and that is not to mention the other system affected during this entire process, extra clean up that I have to do, even my systems that stood the test of time are now ruined and cannot be extracted to other projects. because he just slaps whatever bools and if statements he needs inside any system, uses nothing but Singleton pattern on everything. our app will never be ready-for-business, this I can swear. its very buggy. and to fix it, it needs a change in mentality, not in code.
---------------
uncle bob said : write your code the right way, and the management will see that your code generates less errors, with time, you will earn respect even though they will feel you are slow at first.
well sorry uncle, I've been doing it for a year, my image got bad, you are absolutely right, only when there is no one else allowed to drop a giant shit inside your clean code.
note: we don't really have a technical lead.
-------------------
its been only two days since my new "hack n' slash" meta, the management is already kind of "impressed" ... so I'll keep hacking and slashing until I find a better job.9 -
Q: WHO THE FUCK USES EXCEL FOR PROJECT MANAGEMENT?
A: My Product Manager
Excel because she cant wrap her head around using Trello. WHAT THE FUCK!
Some people exist just to make things more difficult for everyone else. Fucking pain in the ass.
This person is one of the most incompetent one I have ever met.
I dont have enough words to express my rage right now.17 -
Doing Linux server management stuff via ssh with a FUCK 500ms PING IS NOT FUN AT ALL
GET OFF THE FUCKING NETWORK EVERYONE 😤😤😤😤😤6 -
Dev: we have two days until go live. We got 20 bugs, 5 stories and two people on holiday.
PM: ok so could we get these 3 stories squeezed in as well?2 -
Don't you just love it when you're forced to write code for Linux based systems on a windows PC with no access to virtual machines and then have management get angry because it broke in production?6
-
So, more people = more effective?
Let's see how you can deliver a baby with 9 women with only 1 month
P. S:Good luck with that!!6 -
Every time you feel anger, instead of explosion you write a new rant and make people smile.
=> devRant is behaviouristic therapy.2 -
Execs: We're putting you on this project. It's priority and needs done by the end of the year.
Me: Sweet! I'll start right away.
*One week later...*
Execs: We came up with 2 new project ideas, and 5 ways you should implement it which don't make tech sense. These are priority too, get them done in a month, but also do that other thing.
Me: ...
And of course the smaller projects have prerequisites of parts of the larger project.3 -
Juste design a new algorithm to evaluate the chance of a project (any kind of project) will exceed the budget (time of cost). This algorithm been proven to be right almost all the time.
1 -
Although I can easily support myself through my current manual labor work, I am starting to dread going to work because I just really miss programming and server management 😞
The job isn't even that bad but idk, I just really miss devving throughout the day 😩8 -
When management produces a list of priorities but every item on the list is #1 priority. So some items are in BOLD to signify their even greater priority over other priorities.14
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Programming is a lot like playing video games. It challenges you to beat quests/tasks and hunt enemy bugs while providing boss levels in the form of large projects with tight deadlines and project managers who like to move the goal posts.4
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I'm 17 years old and i'm dividing my time between gaming and programing. Should i give up gaming?39
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Recently, one of our passwords was accidently published on a public page for a few minutes before it was noticed and removed. Unfortunately, this password opens nearly every locked account so it's a pretty big deal.
Management was informed of this mistake and told that we should change the passwords as well as implement a few other protocols to make sure this doesn't happen again including things like unique passwords, more secure passwords, using a password manager, etc.
Their response? It wasn't online long, probably no one saw it. There will be no changes in how we handle ours or our clients' secure passwords.8 -
Feeling productive at a Sunday evening. Let's install a DNS server and a fucking mail server on two forgotten VPS's I am still paying for.
SO A-FUCKING-PPEARANTLY, THEIR WEB MANAGEMENT PANEL IS FUCKED UP SO I CANNOT REINSTALL MY MOTHERFUCKER VPS's. HOW FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING DIFFICULT CAN IT BE.15 -
After completing my sprint and some lingering stuff in the backlog
Me: Hey, there's this tiny feature people have really requested, I'll go build it since I got nothing else to do at the moment. It'll only take like 1h
PO: Hmm ok. Don't work on that yet, we need to check with business people and agree on the user stories and bla bla bla
Me: Ok, well there's these bugs I can take care of then, I'll get them fixed, won't be long.
PO: Hmmm, we need to measure the impact first. Let me get back to you on that a bit later
Me: Meh, oh. I'll refactor this bad component meanwhile then.
PO: Have you created a story for that in JIRA? Create the story first and then we'll groom it and take it in when we've time
Me in my head: Dafuq! Im trying to work on your fucking project but you keep throwing all that business bueraucracy shit at me. What am I supposed to do then? Sip coffee in the kitchen and talk about the other fucking billion failed "new business opportunities" with my peers? Fuck this circle jerk of a billion management people all trying to make themselves important. Nothing. Ever. Gets. Fucking. Done!!!
Me: Ah right, I'll do that *proceeds to the water cooler*5 -
That moment when your marketing manager makes technology decisions for your project and says "let's just use WordPress" ...
3 -
Management: Create [totally idiotic and complicated feature, near to impossible to create]
Me: that's close to impossible and could probably destroy some other parts of the application.
Management: well, then your application is poorly programmed.
DAFUQ? HOW DARE TO JUDGE THE QUALITY OF MY CODE WITHOUT EVEN ABLE TO READ 2 LINES OF CSS? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THIS?
I'm really not easily offended but this sentence hit really hard.4 -
An important message:
PrOpErLy managing servers is HARD.
I get pissed off at customers with ZERO server knowledge who think they can manage their VPS. “Just get a control panel and a VPS” from some flashy provider that makes server management look way too easy.. Clicking around in their fancy control panel, until:
- they need help with their *self-managed* VPS;
- their email ends up in spam;
- they suffer from performance issues;
- they need to restore a backup;
- something breaks, because YES, things break
Way too little people are able to answer:
- when and how do you make backups?
- how do you monitor your servers and which services?
- how do you keep track of trend analysis?
Then I come by with necessary software. SNMP for trend analysis, Graphite for infrastructure health, Sensu for monitoring, Kibana, Ansible for configuration management..
Things that servers need but that customers have never even heard of.. because they can do everything in their control panel..
Until they come crying to me because it broke and they don’t even know how to get into SSH.
I think the ones to blame are VPS providers that tell the tale of how easy it is to install a control panel and never look at your server again.
Customers become responsible for something *business-critical*! Yet they don’t know how it works.6 -
One day at a meeting I proposed a solution and explained it to everyone and everyone agreed to it. And then comes in this motherfucking Mr. shithole who starts talking about a piece of shit approach which had apparent drawbacks and everyone could see it but no one mentions. Why, becuase that bigger asshole is the boss of these smaller assholes. When I mention the drawbacks, all I get in return is, you are right but we think you should go this way. No fucking explanation why should I or any son of bitch should go that way. And every single one of those fuckers in the meeting suddenly became ok with his approach without any question or doubt. I mean WTF! What kind of developer you are if cant fucking express your views.10
-
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."3 -
When the boss believes that adding more devs to a project in the last week of a three month stint will "get it out the door faster".
Because baking that cake at twice the temperature for half the time worked so well last time, we'll do it while the oven is rolling down a cliff.4 -
Time critical project. Work my ass off for weeks to meet the deadline. Finish 7 days ahead of schedule, enough time to get approval from management (needed!).
Management: "We will have a look at it."
Multiple pings, requests etc. later...
No response.
Day of the deadline: No response.
Deadline passed: No response.
Guess it wasn't that time critical... Well fuck me, right?4 -
At lunch, someone asked a question about our Sunday Hack-a-thon. Our PO said it was a "Smack-a-thon." I told her, "No, don't make stupid names. Let's call things what they are. It's Management Failure Sunday." Manager was sitting across the table when I said it.4
-
I just blocked some of the top management from connecting to our WLAN because I was testing a verifing feature for said WiFi that kicks all devices not listed in the DB.
It happened while my boss/senior/guidance was trying to show them the advantages of a centrally managed infrastructure.
He covered my ass well and tried to sell it to them as proof of a secure solution, that unknown devices couldn't log in.
I feel like human trash right now, but that's what you get for testing in production.4 -
Job Interview for a CTO role for a premium employer, a big law firm.
All is going well, I am telling them about my years of experience doing complex software integrations in business environments. Talking CRM/ERP, project management and development with external service providers. I tell them I want a salary of 100k and they nod in silence.
Then out of the blue one of the three stakeholders/managers leans over for a final question:
"Soo, we have this really big IT problem and if you would happen to know a solution to it, you would really prove your worth: I have these 10k+ E-Mails in my Outlook folder which doubles as an archive and Outlook keeps getting slower all the time. What can we do?"6 -
My situation: I got computer,router,phone,printer etc. all at one place
Now I decided to do some cable management...
I don't really know how to do cable management so I grabbed some duct tape ... This area now looks like this
7 -
"What we can do to get all on time? ", manager asks
"Can we have 4 more developers on the project?", dev asks
"No, that's not gonna happen. Let's be realistic", manager says
"Is it realistic to ask 3 devs to ship 20 features in a week, reviewed and tested?" dev asks
"Actually 2 of you, because our contractor goes into a vacation. But you can do overtimes, can't you?"
"I prefer not to but even in that case I can't guarantee that as it's not realistic. But at least can I leave earlier and work more from home more because there are severe delays on the train lines and if I have to commute 4 hours a day it won't help", dev says
"Well, I'm not sure if that's a good idea. You have to communicate with people, you know. We have to ship things. But we can discuss this tomorrow as I have to leave early today. I have to take my kids from school"
Really? Wtf?4 -
I rant a lot about my old job and learned a lot about horrible management. Honestly, it was just one disappointment after another.
Let's observe the fact that the CEO, COO, and the newly hired CTO are all friends. Nepotism at its finest.
When re-designing the Front-End and planning new features with a hired agency, should we include the developers familiar with the current stack in the sprint?
I guess not.
When having "secret meetings" about rebranding the company, should the Marketing Manager be informed?
I guess not.
Now, I know there are mixed feelings about this, but the truth is, we have three unqualified individuals in management positions who clearly did not have the best interests and personal growth of their employees in this 14-person start-up at heart.
All of the employees have skills and experience which could easily be applicable to larger companies with better pay and benefits. But we chose to work for a small start-up because we wanted to have our voices heard and make a difference in the growth of company. When you take that liberty away, then what's the point of even working there anymore?
During my 7-months there, 9 people had resigned, including myself and the marketing manager. Should this be a red flag?
I hope so.3 -
You need to answer your manager, but don't have a clue, try these randomly:
I'll circle back to you
I will run the numbers on it
Let's go back to the drawing board
Let's touch base in a bit. Ping me
I don't have the bandwidth right now
It's on my radar
Let's put this on the back-burner
I have too many balls in the air right now
I have a lot on my plate
I'll get back by close of play tomorrow
I'll have to deep dive/drill down into this and get back
I have a hard stop at X hours
Let's park that for now
It's in the pipeline3 -
When I was a graduate I often had to do proof of concepts and one had to be done by the weekend, I'd only been given it on the Wednesday. After a few sleepless nights I had it working or so I thought. On the Friday afternoon the CTO had a look at it and spotted a bug, he told me about it and I stayed in the office until about 10 when I finally managed to get some kind of fix in place. I emailed him told him I thought but was working and shouldn't happen again.
A few hours later no response I get a phone call from him screaming, shouting and swearing calling me useless and a waste of space etc. Etc. To the point I logged in desperately trying to fix the issue in a very hastily written integration and ended up having quite a major panic attack woke up on the floor and immediately went back to work. On the Saturday morning one of the senior Devs logged in and managed to fix it in the database and everything went fine in the end.
I went into work on Monday fully expecting to be fired from the way the CTO was speaking to me, I went to my line manager at the time and he just said don't worry. I left it in his
hands and things went back to normal. That call put a pretty serious dent in my confidence for years, but I learned a few valuable lessons which I stick to today.
Never work on serious shit after 6, use a second mobile for work which is turned off at 5 o'clock, properly test all fixes and always ALWAYS have someone in between graduates and senior management because honestly they can't handle the shit that's flung from above.1 -
As a CS student, where should I invest my time between these options ?
- Get a higher GPA
- Invest in personal project
- Contribute to open source project
- Have a part-time internship during school
- Take time for myself
I would like to have opinions based on your personal experiences !30 -
Why management people thinks that a career path for any senior developer is to be a "leader" and be good in business side. Its like saying "hey you are a good programmer, let me take away that work you love to do and do stupid human resource management instead"7
-
Boss: "Sooo.... How long will it take?"
Me: "Maybe we should agree on some processes and specify your wishes for the new feature first?"
Boss: "Yeah you're right.... But what do you think? Will you get it done til $deadline?"
...
Why am I even trying? Who needs project management anyway?4 -
Oh boy. Gotta love having a team member (For a School project) be in charge of the Database functionality/design, who has almost no communication skills and basically no clue about how to store data in a data base.
Im talking dates stored as varchar(5), column sizes being way way to small, overall table design being rather terrible, no primary/foreign keys, pretty much... Actually no, everything was being stored as a varchar.
Not only that, but there was a hell lot of data that needed to be stored that wasn't even accounted for in the DB design. He made some code that could be used by our team members for queries, creating tables, inserting data (etc), almost 2,000 lines of it.... And basically nothing was fucking documented at all. I'm talking comments like "Insert data into cities table" and nothing else. More complicated functions had as much, or less documentation. Complete mess.2 -
doNotMessWithITTeamInAFuckingProject();
Last night me with my team have a discussion with my project team. Currently we have a project for our insurance client building a Learning Management System. The project condition already messed up since the first day i join a meeting. Because since its a consortium project with multiple company involved, one of company had a bad experience with another company. It happened few years back when both of company were somehow break up badly because miss communication (i heard this from one of my team).
Skip..skip... And then day to day like another stereotype IT projects when client and business analyst doing requirements gathering, the specs seems unclear and keep changing day by day even when I type this rant I'm sure it will change again.
Then something happened last night when my team leader force our business analyst to re index the use case number (imho) this is no need to be done, and i know the field conditions its so tough for all team members.
So many problems occured, actually this is a boring problem like lack of dev resource, lack of project management and all other stereotype IT projects had. Its sucks why this things is happening again.
Finally my fellow business analyst type a quite long message in our group and said that he maybe quit because its too tired and he felt that the leader only know about push push pushhhhhy fcking pussy, he never go to the client site and look what we've done and what we struggle so far.
I just don't know why, i know this guy earlier was an IT geek also, but when he leading a team he act like he never done IT project before, just know about pushing people without knowing what the context and sound to me like just rage push!
Damnit, i maybe quit also, you know we IT guy never affraid to quit anytime from the messed up condition like this. Even though we were at the bottom level in a project, but we hold the most main key for development.
Hope he (my leader) read this rant. And can realize what happened and fix this broken situation. I don't know what to say again, im in steady mode to quit anytime if something chaos happen nearly in the future.
doNotMessWithITTeamInAFuckingProject();
1 -
A woman in hot air balloon realized she is lost...
She reduced altitude & shouted to a man below: Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.
Man below replied: You are in hot air balloon 30 feet above the ground. You are at 41 degree North latitude & 59 degree West longitude.
Lady: You must be an engineer.
Man: How do you know?
Lady: Everything you told me is technically correct but useless & the fact is I'm still lost.
Engineer: You must be in Top Management.
Lady: Ya. How do you know?
Engineer: You don't know where you are or where you're going, you have no technical knowledge.
You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep & you expect people beneath you to solve your problems..!!
😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 -
I'm a backend (Java, Kotlin) developer and I mainly design & develop services and Android apps which consume these services.
My team in my current organization (I've been working here since past 2 years) just got merged with another team.
And now the new boss wants me to fix some fuck ups in their project which is written in C#, with some WCF and other stuff.
As this stuff is completely new for me, I asked for some time to get familiar with the environment. But the answer was a big NO.
As a result, "I've started looking out for a new job"
😡😠
Fuckin management screws up everything!5 -
https://susanjfowler.com/blog/2017/...
This is fucking horrible and if this happens at many companies I understand why women leave techjobs.12 -
I'm going to kill management.
After a serious migration fiasco at one of our biggest costumers the platform was finally usable again (after two days instead of 10 hours) and, of course, users started to report bugs. So good old po came in ranting that we as qa did a horrible job and basically tried to fault us for a fucked up update (because we produced user pain, which of course not being able to log in didn't do). Among the issues: If the user has more than a hundred web pages the menu starts looking ugly, the translation to dutch in one string on the third submenu of a widget doesn't work and a certain functionality isn't available even if it's activated.
Short, they were either not a use case or very much minor except for that missing function. So today we've looked through the entire test code, testing lists, change logs and so on only to discover that the function was removed actively during the last major update one and a half years ago.
Now it's just waiting for the review meeting with the wonderful talking point "How could effective QA prevent something like this in the future" and throwing that shit into his face.
I mean seriously, if you fuck shit up stand by it. We all make mistakes but trying to pin it on other people is just really, really low.8 -
Today we got a company announcement saying "Our time management tool got updated."
..still uses Flash Player.
For god's sake how is this even possible. Who did this?!2 -
SLOC is the shittiest metric to exist.
If you're in software management, know that any of the numbers you've ever received (from me or anyone) for SLOC count are totally worthless.
"How many lines of code do you think you'll need to write to finish those features"?
"100000000000000"15 -
"adding that feature is not hard, the devs are just lazy"... or maybe... just maybe development is more complicated than you make it out to be when you vomit your middle management all over it?
-
Coming up to (very) tight deadline..
Manager - "Stick in a temporary fix, if the data is mocked out it will do for the demo. We really want to show this feature."
Me - "Okay, I"ll pick up the technical debt after the demo."
*Changes are coded and rolled out*
Manager calls me over to his desk..
Manager - "This feature isn't bringing back real data."
Do these kind of people exist in all companies?
2 -
That moment when you quit your job where you worked for the past 4 years and you have your last 5 days at work when your supervisor says that it's time to improve our documentation. Oh really? Wtf have I been saying all along? We have almost no documentation at the moment, so I expect lots and lots of confusion once I'm gone...confusion or phone calls to me.3
-
"The new platform is launching tomorrow. Get the most perfect first time user experience and registration flow. Don't leave until it's done."
Exactly one year later: "We are finally about to launch the new platform"1 -
I'm beginning to think that it's not important to know how to code anymore, but how good you are at handling management.5
-
Let's continue with another rant about my previous company.
You know what's not okay? Hiring a Polish company to handle your CRM. The Polish company promised our development team their CRM platform would have all of the features and APIs we need before switching over. We were skeptical, but Management decides to go ahead and sign the contract anyway because their friend works for this Polish company.
Two months later, the Polish company claims to have never agreed on having the features we needed available, API or otherwise. They also have no idea what an SPA is, most of their features are built-in iframes littered with XSS vulnerabilities, and outgoing B2B/B2C emails are not customizable beyond what their templating system gave us (colors and system fonts). I should also mention they refuse to let us meet with any members of their development team. The managements' friend? He's just a salesman.
We have had multiple meetings with their representatives, over voice calls and video conferencing, who just happened to be sales people. In the last case, every time we asked a question, this poor girl had to run back to her higher ups to get an answer as she didn't know what we were talking about.
Let's not forget about the language barrier. I don't speak Polish, management doesn't speak Polish. Nobody in my previous company spoke Polish. Why was this a good idea again?
I had another correspondence with the Polish company through E-mail. We had wanted to implement a third-party tracking code in our newsletter sign up (which is handled by the Polish CRM company). I asked a representative through E-mail if this was possible. In broken English, I received confirmation it was possible. Great, I asked how? In broken English, I received an explanation which I had already tried and did not work. I replied saying so. Third e-mail I receive mostly in Polish saying, "Why would you want to use your anybody else's tracking code but ours?"
Maybe because the features you promised previously were never delivered and now we need to accommodate? But also because we have our own list of affiliates and sponsors.
Six months later, the third-party tracking code still isn't implemented.
Also, I did report those XSS vulnerabilities on their platform and lack of error handling in their JS library. These have still not been fixed.6 -
I'm a software developer. Last week I spent half a day teaching a "Senior Data Scientist" how to use git branches. I spent the other half a day teaching him how to use Jira. Now I'm being told that the dev team isn't raising enough Pull Requests. FML
-
Handed in my vacation for this year. Didn't hear back for a long time, no info at all. Got the new employee assignment spreadsheet for our biggest client, which went out to them. In it, my vacation is pushed behind by 3 weeks.
Thanks, but I didn't want to learn that my vacation has been delayed from THE FRICKIN CLIENT.1 -
Building a pull request on our Build Server takes 14 hours, it can do about 10 builds at a time and there are already 26 builds in the queue and it isn't even 10am.
I've been waiting for a build since I queued it on Friday - because the queue is actually a stack.
And management / senior developers are like...
7 -
DO NOT be afraid to argue with people. It doesnt matter who they are. Senior engineers, tech leads, delivery managers, if you know something is wrong make it heard. I made a point of telling my Project Manager that the current project is the worst ive ever seen. The technology is awful and we all hate the development. They need to know this stuff. And if they come to you with a deadline that you dont think you can make, say it then and there. Then they cant come back and say why isnt this done. Basically dont just do as youre told. If we needed that we would get robots to do our job. We need people who think and have opinions and make those opinions heard at the appropriate level.2
-
When you resign, then they realise a potential developer. Before that you were just an Hooman resource.1
-
How do working professionals find time to learn new tech? Work all weekdays... Shit tired on weekends this happens for few months and suddenly kids are b building ai and stuff and u just feel dumb.. how do you guys do it? How do you stay on top of the game?9
-
The concept of manhours in our company.
A project that is estimated to take 400 manhours can not be finished by 50 people on 4 hours.4 -
Manager : This week Monday was national holiday, hence to cover up the delay we will have to work on coming Saturday.
Me : What's the use of having national holiday then?
Manager : It's for recreational purpose.
Me, in my head, WTF!!!2 -
seagull management
| ˈsēˌɡəl manijmənt | noun
When managers are totally uninvolved in the work, but they just swoop down once in a while to shit all over everything. “This is wrong, and this, and this looks bad,” etc., before flying away again.
2 -
Being smart but not applying yourself is the same as being stupid.
I've been having a rough semester , as I sat around and played video games for the first few weeks.
Ever since I stopped gaming I started doing more code stuff, and getting things done.
In hindsight, I probably shouldve stopped gaming when the semester started.
What are your guys experience with this? What stratergies do you use for time management?
12 -
Our company is cheap, cheap as fuck. We have to use some third-party platforms and every year they choose something that is slightly cheaper than the other. (like a few $ per annual), they do not know that we have to refactor our code at the backend because the changes of the platform.
It doesn't end there, they even look for devs from third world countries to work for them remotely instead of hiring permanent staff (I understand it is cheaper because of currency difference and etc), but what about the training period or to let them become comfortable with the existing system, even when he/she is a genius... it takes time to be productive at work.
The worst part is they dont give a shit, they think devs can be replaced easily just like some construction workers carrying stuffs on site (no offence to them), management treating people like shit and doesn't care when they leave.2 -
-Management puts unrealistic deadline as usual-
_Tries his best but fails to deliver on time_
*Puts a clearly visible bug in code*
~Tester finds it and creates a issue~
*Solves the issue, wraps up the remaining things and closes the issue*
**Wakes up from dream, cuz he is the tester as well** -
During my last days at my nightmare company, I asked the management how the replacement hunt for a developer was going over lunch.
COO: Great! We've received lots of applications. Lots of potential there. One guy was even a rocket scientist.
Me: So why does he want to be a web developer? Did the rocket factory around the corner not work out? Or did he realize Finland's main exports are Moomins and not rockets?5 -
Telling my mom how to do computer stuff is like programming, I need to outline every fucking step. Yes this includes file management.
-
Many years ago I was told by a senior dev that caching is one of the hardest things I'll ever come across. At the time I didn't know what he meant, but these past few days I'm starting to understand what he meant. It's not using the cache itself, it's the cache management that is hard. Determining what needs to be cached, when a cache should be invalidated, how long should something be cached etc. It's pretty insane when you start having to compare it with the requirements.1
-
I hate it when a manager tries to be friendly with the employees. It feels forced. Is it wrong that I want to keep my work relationships strictly professional?7
-
I've learned over the years that there's no such thing as a Proof of Concept app. You might as well call them beta versions since some salesperson or manager will see it and immediately tell clients about it who will buy it and then you have to support and expand it.
-
Just started my first "management" role after 12 years as a developer, first thing I learnt is its just like my last role only I don't have to do any of the hard work.
Worried they'll figure out I'm doing almost nothing soon, any tips? Should I just start scheduling meetings to discuss meetings?4 -
Picture a small product team, the dev side of it has 1 tech lead, 1 recently promoted senior dev, 1 junior dev.
1 - Offer your tech lead a severance package
2 - Hire a mid-level and a junior dev
3 - Give the product lead role to someone in their mid-20s that has no tech or project management background
4 - ???
The next 6 months are going to be interesting ones...4 -
!rant
how long do you guys code per day?
being a student i have now extreme difficulties in time management😐
need some advice...11 -
Took my PC to a good repair shop because there was an issue with the motherboard. They complete ruined my cable management while installing the new motherboard I have a glass side panel. Fml.6
-
Yup, sure our team of three devs will build you a fully functioning e-commerce site from scratch that grabs data from several APIs and uploads it to several more.
You need it in two weeks? No problem.
Me: Wait...what the...?!
One week in and I only have access to test one of the four necessary APIs as the client hasn't signed the necessary paperwork with other providers.7 -
Why the fuck management keep outsourcing entire platforms for in-house use if we have a fucking dev team...
Those platforms are constantly having contract issues and one we recently rewrote from scratch and is waaay better than the one they fucking paid another company to do....3 -
We are forced to work on weekends because the management and the project manager loves to kiss the ass of our clients. I was even scolded by working from home.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR THAT WE HAVE TO SUFFER AND SHOULDER THEIR INCOMPETENCE IN MANAGING THIS FUCKING PROJECT.
Damnit. God Damnit.5 -
I have just started working in this industry, and so annoyed by the fact that managers are insensitive to the efforts put in by the developers.
1. They ask for estimates, and sometimes consider it to be the hard line for everything and then they make you feel guilty if you are not able to live up to them.
-- I am not asking to be always lenient but they need to understand that this is problem solving and one might not be able to gage the problem at first sight. A problem might have several sub problems or a solution to one issue might raise compatibility issues with other which were tough to foresee .
2. Why do they always want an instant response to their email or query, a developer being online isn't just there to answer your damn obvious and sometimes stupid questions which can be understood just be glancing at the logs once.
-- How annoying would it be if the manager himself is being poked every other minute for trivial things. Does he have the same patience with his/her developers?
3. In tough times the manager easily delegates the responsibility to the developer and instead of standing by his/her side, interrogates them as if we have done some crime.
-- Wasn't this approved by you. Weren't you the one who had these stupid demands before and didn't let me do things the correct or optimized way. I am not saying I am always right, but you can be atleast open for feedback or discussion.
Why are you the first to take credit for the success and yet hold us responsible for any mishaps.
It's sad to see that some of these people have been tech developers.
I can go on ranting for many more things.
I am not saying all those people out there are like this. But trust me many are.
Note: I am not seasoned as you guys out there. I may even be biased by my own experiences. But this is in complete contrast to what I was expecting when I graduated from college and was excited to finally learn by working.1 -
Why do I have to "grow" into a managerial role? I like doing what I am doing and would like to do it more. Anyone with some serious advice on how to stay relevant in software development with greying hair and without growing into people management?4
-
I know that you two guys don't get together well. Shall we(the management team) send you guys for some team bonding training sessions? Whatttt?? 🙄🙄🙄4
-
If you have an employee engagement survey that reveals that employees are not happy, don't dismiss and mock the employees when presenting the results.
It might very well be that it actually does not improve the situation.3 -
I used to work at a startup company that was so mismanaged that they lost track of when the Visual Studio licenses expire.
So during a critical week, the Visual Studio instances stopped working, and they have to scramble getting new licenses, which took a while.
In the end, the client lost confidence, pulled the plug on the project. I also lost confidence in the company and bailed out. Less than a year later the company went totally bankrupt.2 -
My university provides advanced education courses and you'll get certified if you pass them. I'm really interested but I don't have so much time, so which one should I pick?
List of courses I'm interested in:
SQL
IT-Security
Project Management
PHP
I'm curious about your suggestions ;)12 -
After a management meeting about the companies first e-commerce initiative which I proposed and protocol-typed with assistance from internal and 3rd party resources, I returned with my boss to her office feeling on cloud nine as everything had been accepted / approved and the project was green lit!!!
She turns to me and says “I’m going down to the local sex shop and buying the largest dildo, strap it on, and then they will listen to me too”... I just sat, staring at the floor ...
Queue the crickets...4 -
Is it common practise to get entirely shafted but management?
Every single time anyone from management or anyone senior and non-technical is in a meeting with a client they completely take over and monopolise everything, even dev related stuff. With literally no expertise, skill or experience of the field...
In what possible metric are they the person qualified to be doing that?
If I've agreed a design and everything with a client, we get on well and we've generally come to the same conclusion about a lot of stuff. A nosy manager coming in and spewing a ton of crap up doesn't fucking help.
It makes everything a million times worse. Can they just fuck off please?3 -
Well, project budget has been cut for 2017, bc the progress is not showing fast enough. Well, fuck you. Now I will work only half the time, so progress will be even slower.4
-
when the project is "almost done" when you join in, but you discover that nothing is working properly and there's placeholder text in the whole database.
-
I think I have little bit problem with tab management.
Please note tiny grey dots above some tabs on left side, those are tab groups...
3 -
Rant
I was given a project to lead and develop with 2 other team members by the co-founder, I was told that I will need to deliver an initial demo within 30 days, 20 days in the project and I was told yesterday that they need a final release ready within the next 10 days !! Not just that but the co founder decided to assign one of my team members to another project!!!
I've worked today till 4am.
Guess who's working from home in the morning!6 -
Am I the only one who is working on a different project every day? And they're not small projects. All medium sized e-commerce sites (Magento 1&2) with tons of custom made functionality.
Soooo counter productive...
For some reason our PM's think it's the most efficient way to do it this way, even though we said numerous times it causes the opposite result. Having to switch to a different project every day and constantly picking up where you left a week ago is so frustrating...3 -
Management: Let's roll back this bug fix so we don't have to tell the client and have an extensive talk about this bug
Oh geez.2 -
Around three months ago in a meeting regarding a new end2end test for a product :
PO: We have a full feature stop, only bug fixes are coming until we can unify all products.
Me : So I can use any selectors without worrying the whole thing breaks with the next update?
PO: Sure.
Last Thursday :
PO: Yeah, we gonna overhaul the entire UI with the next release to get better UX.
Why would any sane person reinvent an entire product thats already scheduled for discontinuation in 2018? And how is it possible that a few months ago nobody knew anything about it? Are they using fucking tatot cards for management decisions?1 -
Today I had sort of a meltdown when I found out that the small, 20-something company where I work and where we should all 'trust each other' is working to stealthily enable SSL Inspection.
I'm done with doing anything other than what is stipulated in my contract such as helping out in other areas out of my own volition.
Management got control hungry and mad once they got their hands on a Deep Inspection Firewall.
Well, I'm not feeling sorry for the uproar they'll have to endure once colleagues find out they are doing this stealthily.
Serves them right and after this and other similar experiences my trust in this company is right through the floor.2 -
So this Just happened, we were in a Meeting when Manager Tells us about "Time Management" and asked us Whatsapp we could Code for him,
I suggested that we use those Chips to track us and the employees, because we always use them to unlock Doors and Stuff,
Another Suggestion from another Person was:
To use Paper...
I was Like "WTF dude Pen and Paper? Didn't you listen?"
We now use Pen and Paper to weite our working Times Down...1 -
Me: "when do you need this for?"
Them: "yesterday!hahahahahahhah"
Me: " :| Never heard that one before"1 -
TL;DR: When picking vendors to outsource work to, vet them really well.
Backstory:
Got a large redesign project that involves rebuilding a website's main navigation (accessibility reasons).
Project is too big just for our dev team to handle with our workload so we got to bring a 3rd party vendor to help us. We do this often so no big deal.
But, this time the twist was Senior Management already had retained hours with a dev shop so they want us to use them for project. Okay...
It begins:
Have our scope / discovery meeting about the changes and our expected DevOps workflow.
Devs work Local and push changes to our Github, that kicks off the build and we test on Dev, then it goes to Staging for more testing & PM review. Once ready we can push to prod, or whenever needed. All is agreed, everyone was happy.
Emailed the vendors' project manager to ask for their devs Github accounts so we can add them to the project. Got no reply for 3 days.
4th day, I get back "Who sets up the Github accounts?"
fuck me. they've never used Github before but in our scope meeting 4 days ago you said Github was fine...??
Whatever, fuck it. I'll make the accounts and add them.
Added 4 devs to the repo and setup new branch. 40min later get an email that they can't setup dev environment now, the dev doesn't know how to setup our CMS locally, "not working for some reason."
So, they ask for permission to develop on our STAGING server.. "because it's already setup"... they want to actively dev on our staging where we get PM/Senior Management approvals?
We have dev, staging, production instances and you want to dev in staging, not dev?... nay nay good sir.
This is whom senior management wants us to use, already paid for via retainer no less. They are a major dev shop and they're useless...
😢😭
Cant wait for today's progress checkup meeting. 😐😐
/rant1 -
When managements' response is repeatedly, "we are working on it" - don't count on it anytime soon.1
-
One of my other dev colleagues believe that just because I don't want to work in a particular project and I don't like the decision of management, I'm being negative.
Where the fuck is Logic?2 -
In an IT management class, the professor wanted us to estimate the operation costs for a small IT company, breaking them down by service offered. I remember creating a markdown file, multiple times executing the line `echo $RANDOM >> estimations.md`. We rounded the numbers slightly, pimped the document a bit and submitted a nice PDF. When we had to present our work, the professor asked us how we had proceeded to calculate those results. We told him a story about an Excel file we worked on, but did not submit, because we thought he'd be interested in the end result and not care about those details. He asked us to submit that Excel calculation, because he wanted to comprehend our method. So we got together, created an Excel sheet, copied our "estimations" into column C and called it "service cost". For column B, we used the same "cost per man hour" value (scientifically estimated using the RAND() function) for every row. Finally, we divided the "service cost" by the "cost per man hour" for every row, put the result in column A and called it "effort (in man hours)". The professor, being able to "reproduce" our estimation, accepted our solution.2
-
My boss just upgraded our customer support level with a company we depend on, but I'm not allowed to use any of our 40 allotted phone support hours for "code questions" because "we might need them for something later on".1
-
When you and your team invested a lot of their weekend time into the project to meet the clients unrealistic deadline and get not even a simple "thank you" from management...3
-
Why everyone in management wants to know how i solve the bug if you do not even know what is Bootstrap. All that matter is fucking bug is resolved PERIOD
-
A few days ago our server was compromised due to an outdated Jenkins version. The malicious user installed a crypto miner on the server... The same day that it was found I told management that I'm interested in helping out with the server. Since then, nothing happened... No updates, no security measures, no nothing (except for the removed crypto miner and updated Jenkins software)
Oh well only a matter of time before another hack...
Question to some (who work way way way longer than me) med - seniors, should I make a big deal out of this? And keep pressure on it. Or should I just leave it be and wait for the next comprised server? I know devrant is not a Q&A service, but some dev to dev advice is much appreciated.
- incognito2 -
Why don't managers/team-leads take into account the time that you get stuck on something that's stupid to ask but it eats up your hours :(2
-
Stayed up coding all night to make sure things worked nicely. An hour before I left work yesterday, received 5 other never spoken off tasks.
none of the communication went directly by me, I just had to hear out the nonsense, but did a complete integration half a year ago
managed to do 3,8 of those task after working out and finishing the first set. became 5am.
might be because I went mental and have synced up 2repo's with idem dito codebase to be up to date to eachother (don't ask me why this is setup this way, I don't get half of their logic, hence why it doesn't work until I silently patch stuff out)
overslept by an hour.. yay me.
inb4 being fired
(no time for a capitalisation and spellcheck on this rant either, 9.30am now, tired af)3 -
For the past 5 hours I’ve been backing up my pc, reinstalling windows(full wipe of every drive) and, reinstalling programs to my fucking pc. I can now say I’ve been to hell and back, because fuck everything, now I need to rebuild it because 2 years ago “oh cable management is optional I don’t need to do that.” So fml. And especially fuck apple and windows. Fucking windows with having to reinstall once a year and Apple with overpriced bullshit lightning to 3.5 adapters, $10 for one because they removed 3.5 jacks. @linuxxx I understand why Linux is a good alternative although it sucks for gaming due to no support( I know about wine but I don’t want to use it due to it having problems half the time)5
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Get given two asset packs for a project I confirm with project lead, project manager and CTO which one they want to use. They then confirm with client and they all decided asset pack 2. Ok great, 3 months later week before deadline "we need asset pack 1 used instead"... Different resolution, different aspect ratio and now get nagged every few minutes how done is it, and that it's vital we meet the deadline. So close to just walking out that door.
-
"It should be fairly simple to find a service to do this thing."
Then why are you assigning me the task instead of handling it yourself? Obviously if it's that simple you already did all the research on the possible options, right? In which case, why waste my time? :P -
Is it highly likely that, those at high position of management are more greedy of money and posses less ethics and values, than those who actually build the company ie engineers ?
I had seen, it's always the top management who get away from mistakes/ issues but generally it's those who develop the company at core i.e. engineers again, are sidelined or considered responsible for the mistake, when management don't know a shit about anything, or sometimes engineers just follow what management says and management fucks their asses wide even if the management did something wrong.
Who do you think actually build companies/product. Engineers or management or marketers/sales people, who eats fat cheques ??
I remember from silicon valley, when hooli reverse engineered Richards idea and developed their own prototype named Nucleus. Pushed their engineers to beat pipe Piper and when their product turns out to be awfully terrible and extremely fucked like a burned dick with broken balls, they just fired their entire nucleus division5 -
When the PM doesn't stop the customer from requesting a bad feature (in terms of user experience / design)1
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Dear Managers; we do not appreciate how comfortable you are behind a facade of ignorance. Your inaction is directly responsible for the failures of your team; both technical and cultural. You are why we are unhappy, you are why we stop growing, you are why we do not care, you are why we do not innovate; and most important of all, you are why we leave.
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I hate reactive management.
It's when your boss instills fake urgency every time a client asks for something close to impossible, or <x> competitor is doing something in a different way he deems the best.
Everything must be dropped, the sprint put on hold, fuck requirements, everybody has to do overtime, why are you not contributing?, why are you going home when you have to?, fuck do I care you have a 1 hour commute - this <y> thing has to be made by sunrise tomorrow or it's a showstopper.
And it's never a showstopper. 90% of the time the feature gets dropped one-two months down the line.1 -
First time coding in a team for a larger project. Any tips on how to handle this? We're six programmers and its really hard for us to work together :/
It's my first rant. I love the community :D9 -
Currently we have zero time for R&D at work, now I have convinced management to let me try and convince them to arrange some time per week/sprint(2 weeks) or month
How should I approache this? And how much time would be optional (enough time for prototyping but still leave more than enough time for the projects we have) ?
Any tips that you have for negotiation/convincing management would be greatly appreciated!! 😁😁3 -
Starting the day with Management complaining about budget and how R&D spends a lot. I start talking about the form to get a machine to a developer, that requires detailed information about the specs, proper justification, provide price comparison, fields of text which I know their departments will not check or fully comprehend BUT administration type departments always get the latest MacBook when their work literally involves little more than read emails, PDFs, write word documents and not high demanding software tools. R&D colleague suggests that a Raspberry pi would suffice for what administration personal needs out of a PC.
Management didn't comment.2 -
Being in a rush = guaranteed way to make everything take longer.
Example: Typing your long, secure repo password wrong 5+ times in a row... when you are in a rush and just want to push your commit so you can get on with life. -
Read the documentation!
...(follow docs)
Why did you do it that way?! The documentation is outdated!!
...(doesn't read docs makes best guess)
Why didn't you follow the documentation??!!
Sigh. -
When as JavaScript developer you need to do Java Android. And not the simple kind of tasks... I have 0 knowledge on the whole Android platform.. FML5
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Today, for a feature that doesn't need to be released at all, we had to choose between delivering 2 months later so we could pay the technical debt, or release on time with even more technical debt, and 96% sure this will kill the project.
Guess what?1 -
Session Management in HTML/PHP be Like:
JUST PUT THAT FUCKING SESSION ID AS HIDDEN INPUT IN EVERY FUCKING FORM!!!
BECAUSE WHY NOT JUST SPAM IT WHY IS THERE NO GOOD FUCKING WAY TO HIDE A SESSION KEY WITHOUT COOKIES5 -
The monotony of begging management for budget to retrofit unit tests which should have been there in the first place is starting to piss me off.
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"We need to implement SSO across our legacy apps in 2 weeks. Don't worry about the details just do it. Pretend you're playing football with computers." MFW
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When one PM hands you off to another PM and neither has any idea about the project I am supposed to be working on...nor do I have access to the Trello boards, the repos, etc...
Happy Monday 🤦♂️ -
Anyone else here suffering under a tech lead who instead functions as a business analyst and ignores their dev process in favor of stakeholder demands?
Case in point: our tech lead actually said in our latest retrospective (yes, we're running on Agile) that we should align our schedule to business. So wtf are we even doing Agile sprints for effs sake (this we did not say for fear of losing our jobs) -
I am a programming student and last 1 year i have sat with my own programming project of a management system for monitoring 500+ clientes, has now been recognized for my work and has now been giving a new major programming project for a new management system for phones 😁3
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Here we go, the winter is happening #BecauseItsAlreadyComing
The Fcuking Stereotype of MDFK Projects Deadline was not achieve, everybody starts throwing blame words, the management had their heads burned, aaannd... This is nearly 11pm I'm enjoying my chicken Satay and I don't give a fcuking damn with this situation. #MyCodeMyAdventure
lets have a junkie dinner my fellow devRanters! 😂
3 -
I have been developing this bias in my mind about people with MBA degrees/ Management roles.
Like for example, I can't deal with my managers who has no programming expertise, but they are there just because they have a huge work ex(idk in sitting and playing on phone?) or have an MBA degree.
I feel in a tech company; management, ppt, excel people should be eliminated. I'm not saying all the roles but just a few who have little to no contribution.
When a team works on it's own and delivers and maintains the system. It's these managerial people who take credits. It's these people who get hikes more than necessary.
For years, developers are treated like call center people, like sheeps, they aren't valued, and are highly underpaid!
Do you think MBA people will be jobless if we empower developers to the point where we won't need MBA degree holders with "Time Management" as their core skills written in LinkedIn Profiles?
What makes Managerial roles so special?
Correct me if my bias is wrong.
P.S. This whole rant was about MNC's in India. I can't tell for other countries.1 -
First, I need you guys to read this article:
https://goo.gl/LHGVw1
Just from reading the company’s write up, they are shit. They put all the weight on the guy's shoulders. So much so that he had to put in 12x7 weeks for 2 years... One day they tell him that they are gonna scrap his work; when he exploded - and rightfully so - they fired him and built an inferior product. Of course, they praised themselves for productivity being much higher than when he was there.
At the end of the day, they were shit because they never cared about his mental health. They just pilled more and more on him, because he was the rock star. He eventually broke psychologically. They don't care about all the personal sacrifices he had to make to give them those 12X7 weeks.
Worst of all, they spun it as him being the asshole - which will make it harder for him to get another job - when it was their shit management that broke him psychologically.... sigh
They all depended on him, he knew that too. The pressure to not fail was too much.
Bad management can seriously destroy a person13 -
About to make an inventory management software just to have fun coding. I know it's boring.
Thinking of doing it in python but also looking at java but not sure if I'll be using java later in life and if it's the right language for it. I mean python has some good libraries for barcode scanners and stuff. -
Boss complains this morning about having to go to a Cubs game, and even calls it a "First world problem." (outing with management and client).
We're super behind on a lot of things, most of us are busy coding, and he sends us a photo from the game to our Slack channel.
2 -
Since we have premium subscription with gitlab I learned we can now have unlimited repositories. I don't get why all of our source codes(domain components, utils, even 3rd party libs, etc.) are located inside one huge repository.1
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Given a set of projects, twice the amount of work half the amount of time to do them in. We told management we need more time and more developers. Products are being given to the clients with lots of bugs. Management's response: double the QA team size... We almost have more QA members than Dev members. FFS.
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Cause there's no really safe solution for that right now, finally release my favorite and verifiable secure linux password management tool for the web and as apps for iOS, Android and Windows Phone - including online synchronization, so you can access your passwords anywhere. (Web and Android first, the other platforms later).
At the moment it is still a pure gpg based Linux terminal application.2 -
What progress have you made?
Well today we hand crafted ... a new lie about the apps we are writing. Customers should eat this one up.
Good, good.
- Management -
Ahoy der Ranters!
I'm looking for a log management service. My server application has a 90 days rolling policy (with gzip) but I would like to store logs somewhere else before they get deleted (after 90 days).
I've heard of Cloud watch, paper trail, and logz.io
What would you recommend?5 -
I do everything to have great time management except starting early.
Basically I manage minimizing how late I am extremely well.1 -
I made a point to the management that people are unnecessarily reworking things and throwing away. And all products should have a product owner and they should give requirements. So the management called the same guy(who fucking does pointless rewrites in the name of code cleanup) and said come up with a solution. The guy came with a solution of Agile + Jira and a whole fucking process behind it. So guess what, we are having pointless meetings when we can just finish and ship deliverables.
The management successfully founded an efficient way to effectively waste time. Kuddos.4 -
When your project manager accepts a contract with a client with a hard deadline but the time needed is nearly twice.8
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Something goes very wrong if I done my task in first attempt. There's always things I miss completely and then the shame.
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That moment when the CTO rants about php and you ask them to name one of their grievances. And they say:
"It doesn't support private properties."
(┛✧Д✧))┛彡┻━┻ -
Why didn't a single manager I had worked with bother theirselves with reading "Peopleware" book. Decent managers cannot themselves afford to not read that book.3
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A couple of years ago the PM for the project I was working on committed to a 3 week deadline on a HUGE ASS project. The client was a massive telecommunications company and the project consisted on the websites for over 30 countries. When I confronted him, he told me he needed PROOF that the project wasn't going to be done in 3 weeks (WTF!?)...
He made the design, front end and back end teams start working in parallel (WTF!?)... Needless to say, the project wasn't done in 3 weeks, or in 10, or in 50... this was in 2014... the project hasn't been finished yet. Thankfully, I managed to get off that ship after 2 hellish months.1 -
3 or 4 weeks ago me and management had a talk about new features in our product...
So we implemented the new features and then we released the app...
Today I got a really long bug report that summarizes into the following sentence -> BUG: Everything works exactly as we talked 4 weeks ago.... And apparently that is bad 😣
Like c'mon dudes if now it is a bug then why the fuck I needed to code that feature?! Time totally wasted for nothing! 😤
Fix My Lighthouse!1 -
Either you're too stupid to understand the beauty that I create to solve your crazy business problems, or you just don't care :/
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!rant
I'm just about to finish this little project (actually is already done). I just need to add some reducers to change the language of the page.
What do you guys thinks about it?
https://byoigres.com/minutes5 -
Our management just won't get what UX is, they call us User Experience Developers building User Experience applications with User Experience frameworks (meaning, Angular). FFUUUU, I'm a webdeveloper. YOU_DONT_DEVELOP_UX.... Just because angular looks better than the standard Oracle Crap doesn't make it UX. >.>3
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Yes I know that's too many points this sprint.
I understand you have to have all the things.
No I can't move the stories out bc you gave us a hard deadline for the release. -
this is a repost organization post. each time you are going to post a classical joke, please find it from items below, and write as comment, the number of the repost. and people will give you ++'s to your comments as if you actually reposted the post. also, feel free to make additions to the list. syntax is:
"(n): [repost context]" for a new item (please do not mess with the order)
"-- [n]: [personal comment]" for simulating the repost.
here we go:
(0): the comic strip about rescuing princesses in different languages.
(1): in case of fire git commit, git push, leave the building.
(2): wanna hear a udp joke? i don't care if you get it.
(3): that joke about java devs wearing glasses because they can't c#.
--------------
An example repost:
-- 0: omg princess lol :)))2 -
Currently in our 4th cycle of manual regression testing for a release and still finding bugs. Automated tests? What are those? That sounds an awful lot like it would take time to implement. Time that could be spent fixing the bugs and getting the release out the door.
When release dates take priority over quality.... -
Another team doesn't have time to add a batch endpoint to their service... Instead of having our team add it and submit a PR management wants a whole new microservice with one endpoint that queries the other services database directly.
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You know what's terrifying? When you hear a contracts person say "we already know what we're going to bid, so we don't need engineering inputs."
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My boss yelled at me Monday for brining up that no one in the office is a fan of Jira.
He yelled and gave 4 rules.
1. Task Numbers
2. Multiple Project Overview
3. Integrates with Github
4. No one bitches
I spent the day uploading data from Jira into clubhouse2 -
Manager: Oh, this feature freeze you where talking about was no joke?
Me: Yes, that's why we have written it into the protocol of the Last Meeting and everyone agreed...
Manager: Thats nonsense, add more Features! -
So. As some of you may remember. I got a new job. However! I didn't end up taking it. They ended up terminating my current boss and gave me his job (and salary to boot).
They then told me to begin rebuilding the department and expanding it, something my old boss was not a fan of.
What tips do you guys have for building and managing a team? I've never ran one before. So I'm looking for advice on a project management platform. We are a C# shop so If it has nice integration into VS all the better.
Thank you and rant on! I am sure I will have some ranting about hiring and junior fuckups soon!2 -
F-word with three consecutive U-letters! SQL Management Studio just crashed, just when I had finished a nice script, that I hadn't of course saved yet. I must say SQL Management Studio hardly ever crashes, can't even remember the last time that happened before this. Wonder if it has anything to do with the plugin SQL Complete that I installed just recently? SQL Complete also has the annoying habit of displaying a popup every time SQL Management Studio is started, with a delay just long enough so you have already got started with something when you're interrupted by that popup. No, I'm not going to upgrade a piece of software that behaves maliciously!15
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Was the standalone android sdk manager, the one that has a gui, a problem for most of the android devs for it to be goddamn removed? The command line sdk manager (tools/bin/sdkmanager) is a fucking pain in the ass for fucks sake.
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Me 3 weeks ago: I need the changes to make so I can add them to the code.
Hours before the change is scheduled, I receive a list of 100 changes to make.1 -
My team works for a company in another country(Some hours of difference) and we work together we that company's team to develop their product. In the last couple of weeks I've been working with a senior developer of that company that everybody on my team said was a pain in the ass to working with. I didn't want to judge the guy just by others experiences, but man they were right. We're talking about a guy that has years of experience. However he is incapable of retaining any kind of simple business logic or process and leaves incomplete code everywhere (not tested properly and buggy). With the diference in hours, every morning I when I look at the hand off messages and there are multiple questions that he should know better than me(has more time in the project than me) and a lot of code that I have to fix! This guy can't complete simple tasks that could be almost copied and pasted from other parts of code. What gets me even more pissed off is that this guy has a better salary than any person in my team and does a lot less and with poorer quality. And to top it off his company management doesn't acknowledge that he is a problem...
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!Rant - web dev prompt
Currently experimenting with time management so figured I'd try setting up both Basecamp and Toggl. It's for a school project and involves a basic CMS (php CRUD etc).
Is it overkill?2 -
I'm building an open source "decentralized cloud management platform" (hyped name :D) which essentially is just tiny containers which you inject in your software, so you could do remote computing through the machines of your clients, instead of cloud. Kinda reusing what you have access to, without spending extra cash on cloud services.
In theory, may sound fun.. But wanted to ask.. as user would you give companies unused personal CPU/RAM capacity for cheaper services?4 -
So happy, a former colleague, now friend, of mine decided to join my project, he has a lot of experience and helped me out a ton in my first professional years to gain knowledge about optimization, performance, architecture and countless more stuff.(--> wk73 best dev teacher I had)
The only downside, in this case very minor downside, is that I now have to go back to something I despise: project management... I need to properly format and transfer all my scribblings and thoughts into a roadmap and a rough specification, so he has a good start into the project.
Overall though I am really looking forward to this collab, since I love to work in a team, especially with such great support. -
After working on three separate products for a day I've realised I developed a new thing end to end development!
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Email arrives, contains a list of deadlines AND descriptions of new features and changes to portal... all news to me, Really?! All for next month you say? Didn't we just assign a different project to the team? Did we replace the 50% who leave this week yet? no.... Well done project management... Slow clap for you guys.... It's so idiotic I'm not even mad...
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I don't wanna be specific today, so I'll just post a song exerpt.
I love you, I hate you, I'm on the fence, it all depends
Whether I'm up or down, I'm on the mend, transcending all reality
I like you, despise you, admire you
What are we gonna do when everything all falls through?
I must confess, I've made a mess of what should be a small success
But I digress, at least I've tried my very best, I guess
This, that, the other, why even bother?
It won't be with me on my deathbed, but I'll still be in your head
Put me on a pedestal and I'll only disappoint you
Tell me I'm exceptional, I promise to exploit you
Give me all your money, and I'll make some origami, honey
I think you're a joke, but I don't find you very funny
https://youtu.be/o-nr1nNC3ds -
What tools do you use to manage how much time you needed to get stuff done?
Any tool where I can stop time and also add things like had a meeting for 1h and so on.2 -
When your project manager/tester keeps changing different fields required, which is being handled 100% with JQuery....requiring you to rewrite the entire functions logic
This has now happened 4 times... -
Today, an hour left of work, our team was brought to an all-hands meeting. 20 mins later, I learned why our team was so often left out when getting a 3rd dev.
Someone higher up decided to move our train to another part of the state (it's birth place was where it is now). And that same person decided to localize all teams on a train to the same location too... which means my team is getting killed. We have an estimated lifespan of a few months.
...and here I thought moving to an open floor plan was gonna be horrible. The new location is 200 miles north (an hour 30 via the free campus bus). This won't be a fun coming new year. -
I'm planning to get out of engineering and into tech. Can I expect to make at least 60k in an entry level position? Will I need to get more skills or take a significant pay cut in order to change careers?18
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Hi guys and gals!
Currently in the search for a good management team for solo freelancing projects. I've used Trello before but am looking for something that maybe tracks time spent on tasks for hourly charge and is more defined to web development/design.
If anyone has any suggestions they would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks in advance! Keep on keeping on!4 -
What do you guys use for personal project planning/todo's/etc...?
I'm currently using Google Keep with a bunch of different lists but looking for something more in depth.7 -
So, I just finished a semester project on Software Project Management, and this was my self analysis and my conclusions, along with my analysis of my team. I think some of you will relate. Hope you enjoy the reading!
My main contributions to the project were helping reviewing the documents syntax, to make sure it was smooth and easy to read with a good english level, working on the systems architecture, coding the application, helping measuring problems within the project and putting people to work by distributing tasks.
I tried to help whenever I could with things that were not assigned to me, even though we are a team, everyone must do what they are assigned for, otherwise disorganization will be installed and everyone will derive from what they are doing to focus on a single thing or point and that would cost us time. I tried to avoid that to see if people could be capable enough of fixing the problems presented to them with the least help possible, making that an example for future use so they don’t always rely on others to get tasks done and to be more independent. Also, helping others figuring out what they were supposed to do helped the team wasting less human resources and consuming less time, which lead to some faster developments on specific tasks. Making the impossible possible was kinda of a weekly routine when the deadline approached because time was short and sometimes tasks were not finished when they should be, so, in a way I helped speedrunning documents to see if they were close to presentable to the client.
As the overall performance, there were highs and lows, where some members worked more than others and that is not fair for everyone because that kept happening again and again, so, my point of view performance wise is that we behaved wrongly when it came down to it. Some of us kept on pushing tasks to others and continuously criticizing over other people’s work without having a logical background to motivate those critiques neither providing solutions to the problems encountered. Well, that couldn’t end well, and it didn’t. It brought our performance down and ended up causing a lot of damage on the project itself. -
I'm pretty sure remote teams don't work with the remote team doing all the coding and we have the same exact JD and in the same department...*sigh* when management are foreign, they really are afraid of letting the local tech team help out. No wonder we are 3, sorry 2 since a fellow dev left to a better job in Amsterdam
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Exhausted af. Since Sunday been trying to get a decade old social grants payment delphi app that ran on win xp to work; and this is a couple of exes on different client/server machines communicating with cash dispensers, fingerprint readers, receipt printers as well as webcam. Apparently someone is searching archives for the source code which I will have to eventually customise to whatever the fuck "management" wants cause they want to "revive" the system. Ohh and by the way I'm not a delphi dev so now I'll have to learn
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apparently; indirectly allocating tasks means that it doesn't chew up your bandwidth,
so where is the deliverable? -
Currently working on a nightmare project : post scheduler with calendars, datepickers and timezones.
Mixed with designs that change mid-dev, a ui that make no sense and a deadline that has no fixed date.
And management could say its the devs fault for it being late! wtf! Its driving me insane \(▪_▪)/3 -
Trello, one of my latest discoveries and it's quickly becoming one of my most important tool for project management
https://trello.com/ -
I know it doesn't really exist in one solution, but I need management software to keep track of customers (crm), projects, products, licensing and contracts, and time keeping. Right now we are using MSCRM (ugh), and old homebrew project/time tracker written in Perl spaghetti (double ugh), email (sigh) and handwritten notes (kill me). Now I suddenly find myself with a budget (somewhat) and the authority to actually fix things. Any ideas would be appreciated.
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Last week we commenced a programming project on a machine that was being built for a customer with a view to them coming to test machine in 8 working days, we spent 2.5 days re wiring due to bad electrical design, a further two days changing mechanical design, and I have had half a day coding. We now have three days before customer comes and about three weeks work to do. Might be some long days3
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Tracking/logging hours, how do you do it? Is there some decent software for Linux that does this?
I wanna start tracking my time doing specific tasks, so I'm just wondering what other ppl use, if at all hehe1 -
Org is doing a major conversion to containerized solutions and modern technology. Most of which I can wholly support, only 1 catch. everything will need to be ported to Java. we are a mixed shop of largely PHP and Javascript devs with only a handful of devs who actively use Java regularly, this change throws away tons of previously built battle tested code in order to swap to putting all new code on an all new platform. I thought the point of containers was to be able to isolate and run whatever you want within the container and have it highly portable...
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