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CS Professor: “What M word is the black hole to all productivity?”
Student: “Management”
CS Professor: “Was going to say meetings but that’s better”13 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."1 -
I just helped one of our cleaners get Internet since the management whitelisted devices that can get WiFi access.
I believe that anyone, regardless of position, must have equal access to the resources in this company.11 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, *"But how'd you know?"**
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."5 -
There was a previous developer who my managers has told us was terrible and toxic. Yet due to terrible planning, he had everyone work for over 13 hours last Sunday.
I contacted this previous developer to learn his side of the story and learned a lot. I realize between their two narratives is the truth, but I see all the ways we've been lied, the ways this other dev was scapegoated and all the additional work that's sure to come.
I refuse to work weekends again. I refuse to work over 40 hours. I wish I could convince everyone else to do the same. No amount of money is worth making up for bad planning and management.1 -
Discussion between me and my N+1
(Note : I'm in the company for 3 months)
Me : As the tech leader, shouldn't you review my code ?
N+1 : I'm not the tech leader.
Me : Wait what ?
N+1 : I wrote the app from A to Z, hence I'm the architect.
Me : That's what I mean. Being the most knowledgable dev in the company makes you de facto tech leader.
N+1 : No, I'm not the tech leader. The CEO is.
Me : But he didn't even know the tech we are using !
N+1 : .... Anyway, I won't do code reviews. I don't like that.
(2 hours later)
N+1 : You made a mistake in the code. You broke a hidden functionality. You should be more careful, or ask me if you have doubts.
This guy is collector.3 -
So I've been screaming for months that push notifications are not reliable enough to build critical functionality on top of. Management won't listen and keep pushing ahead with making teams use it because its cheap and easy.
Been debugging an issue on/off for several weeks. Turns out someone in management asked the backend team to cut the expiration time of items down to 5 minutes to increase throughput (without telling mobile). Notifications are regularly taking +4 mins to get to the phones, leaving our users with barely any time to react. They are now complaining.
I swear if there is a single IQ point available between the whole team i've yet to see any evidence of it8 -
When i ask for a raise -
Boss : Are u joking ? I can see u hardly working.
When I ask for a leave -
Boss : Are u joking ? Who will do your work ?4 -
Every week is the same. Wake up, new jira ticket. “Build us a pink house”.
*i build a house*
Next day, “URGENT BUG REPORT!!! CRITICAL ISSUE IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT”, click on ticket, “bug report: the house doesn’t have sprinklers”
They didn’t ask for sprinklers. This is not a bug. *i add sprinklers*
Next day, “URGENT BUG REPORT!!! CRITICAL ISSUE IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT ASAP ASAP ASAP”, click on ticket, “bug report: the house is pink.”
HOW IS THAT A BUG TWO DAYS AGO IT WAS LITERALLY A REQUIREMENT
Meanwhile management makes triple my salary6 -
I told my TL about my aspiration of pursuing a Masters degree.
TL: "You don't seem like the sort that is suitable for academy."
Me: "You don't seem like the sort who's suitable for management but here we are..."27 -
Disclaimer: kinda non dev related. Just working to pay the bills right now.
The other day I ran for the train to work, don't want to be fucking late, right?
Arrived and this guy asked me this: (I have a sweating/transpiration problem but I'm fully aware of that)
"hey man, ever heard of fucking showers or deodorant?!"
Yes, I was sweating my ass off and you could smell me but I can't FUCKING help that.
It was very embarrassing and humiliating to get that kinda comment in front of like 30 people but I just swallowed it and went to work.
After the first break, a woman from management came to me and pulled me aside. A few people had complained about how that guy from before said some pretty humiliating stuff to me and she said that the guy received a warning and was told to fucking learn to treat people with respect, regardless of their (health) issues/appearance. I also got an apology and a sorry and if I could keep my eyes open for such behaviour in the future.
I'm very glad that she apologized although it wasn't her fault because I know I've got this health issue and I can't do anything about it yet but it can MOTHERFUCKING hurt when someone talks shit about me when I smell and I CAN'T FUCKING HELP IT BECAUSE THIS IS THE WAY MY BODY WORKS TOO BADLY.
I felt protected and safe about my issue for the first time in my life.
Thanks management!14 -
This fucktard of a 'stick that facility management up your arse' manager.
He insisted 'no cooling required. Trust me'.
While we insisted 'how dare you to asume our servers temperatures'!
We moved our servers to a new /tmp/office/ yesterday. Was quite fun, until we saw this...
Doorhandle is hot as fuck, 50 degrees air temperature, all servers in heat error state. Thank you, you damn fucktards! Take this cactus 🌵 and stick it up your arse!!
Can't work like that.
13 -
Last week we had a short seminar at work about 'listening skill.'
In that speaker gave an example how 'natural' leaders speak last in the meetings.
From that day we are having entirely silent meetings.
Now management is planning seminar on 'Speaking Up'3 -
Apparently working 80+ hour weeks for a year gets you "met expectations" in your review since "shit rolls down the hill".3
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A while back a co-worker of mine fucked up by leaving some debug code and pushing to production.
He quickly repaired it, redeployed and everything was good again before the customer experienced any issues.
Later that day, management showed up by his desk to ask what happened, how it happened and stating that he was not "angry enough" about his fuck up, long after it has been repaired.
Up to this day i regret not asking in what unit of measurement we could determine if we were angry enough; decibels? gray hairs? grams of shit in my underwear?4 -
Arrived at a game jam in an animation school. I hope they're better at game design than they are at cable management :)
7 -
I don't want to write clean code anymore :(
I read Clean Code, Clean Coder, and watched many uncle bob's videos, and I was able to apply best practices and design patterns
I created many systems that really stood the test of time...
Management was kind enough to introduce me to uncle bob clean code in the first place, letting us watch it during work hours. after like one year, my code improved 400% minimum because I am new and I needed guidance from veterans...
That said, to management I am very slow, compared to this other guy, they ask me for a feature and my answer would be like "sure, we need to update the system because it just doesn't support that right now, it is easy though it would take 2 days tops"
they ask the same thing for the other guy : "ok let me see what I can do", 1 hour later, on slack, he writes : done. he slaps bunch of if-statement and make special case that will serve the thing they asked for.
oh 'cool' they say -> but it doesn't do this -> it needs to do that -> ok there is a new bug,-> it doesn't work in build mode-> it doesn't work if you are logged in as a guest, now its perfect ! -> it doesn't work on Android -> ok it works on android but now its not perfect anymore.
and they feel like he is fast (and to be fair he is), this feature? done. ok new bugs? solved. Android compatibility ? just one day ... it looks like he is doing doing doing.
it ends up taking double the time I asked for, and that is not to mention the other system affected during this entire process, extra clean up that I have to do, even my systems that stood the test of time are now ruined and cannot be extracted to other projects. because he just slaps whatever bools and if statements he needs inside any system, uses nothing but Singleton pattern on everything. our app will never be ready-for-business, this I can swear. its very buggy. and to fix it, it needs a change in mentality, not in code.
---------------
uncle bob said : write your code the right way, and the management will see that your code generates less errors, with time, you will earn respect even though they will feel you are slow at first.
well sorry uncle, I've been doing it for a year, my image got bad, you are absolutely right, only when there is no one else allowed to drop a giant shit inside your clean code.
note: we don't really have a technical lead.
-------------------
its been only two days since my new "hack n' slash" meta, the management is already kind of "impressed" ... so I'll keep hacking and slashing until I find a better job.9 -
Dev: we have two days until go live. We got 20 bugs, 5 stories and two people on holiday.
PM: ok so could we get these 3 stories squeezed in as well?2 -
Doing Linux server management stuff via ssh with a FUCK 500ms PING IS NOT FUN AT ALL
GET OFF THE FUCKING NETWORK EVERYONE 😤😤😤😤😤5 -
Q: WHO THE FUCK USES EXCEL FOR PROJECT MANAGEMENT?
A: My Product Manager
Excel because she cant wrap her head around using Trello. WHAT THE FUCK!
Some people exist just to make things more difficult for everyone else. Fucking pain in the ass.
This person is one of the most incompetent one I have ever met.
I dont have enough words to express my rage right now.13 -
Small company (1-100 people).
The head of the company comes into the 4-man engineering department and tells the RF engineer that the wireless project will be canceled. The project timeline the RF engineer proposed the week before is not feasible for the company.
RF engineer asks, point blank, if he should pack up and leave. The guy says "no".
A few weeks later the RF engineer puts in his letter of resignation. The head of the company pulls him aside and asks why he's leaving. Wants to know what went wrong...
THE F***ING RF GUY WON'T BE DOING RF, THAT'S WHY!!!
Management at this company is so confused.
(Had to rant. I hear that's what this site is for...)3 -
*makes course outline*
Management: Um yeah make the outline similar to this course from earlier
Me: Hmm, so Yocto etc.. well that'll require a good amount of research because I've got no idea what Yocto is or how I'm supposed to use it.
*researches about Yocto, prepares build VM and Raspberry Pi target, thinks of how on Earth I'd make my coworker without Raspberry Pi interface with it from across the world*
2 days later..
Management: Yeah actually we don't want Yocto. Just do simple stuff like application development, GPIO etc.
Me & co-worker: Awesome mate! That'll make things a lot easier. Except for the 2 days of lost work, but we can live with that if it's just GPIO and such.
3 days later..
Management: guys your course outline sucks. Do it all over again, we want Yocto to be in it after all.
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Why don't you behave a little bit less like a fucking client that doesn't know what they want for once?!!
18 -
Every single fucking time:
Developers: Maybe we'll do something nice for the users, like signing in with Facebook account?
Business: Nah, nobody is gonna pay for that and it sounds useless. We're good with current solutions. Just do your job!
half a year later:
Business: Hey, I just came up with the idea that we could have logging in with Facebook.
Also business: Wow, great idea!
Management: Here's your bonus for a great idea!
Developers: ...6 -
To Managers: If your developers are suddenly so unproductive and uncommunicative, it's not likely that they turned into worse developers in all of a sudden. Take a time to review your management strategies, seriously.4
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When management produces a list of priorities but every item on the list is #1 priority. So some items are in BOLD to signify their even greater priority over other priorities.14
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Although I can easily support myself through my current manual labor work, I am starting to dread going to work because I just really miss programming and server management 😞
The job isn't even that bad but idk, I just really miss devving throughout the day 😩8 -
I just lost faith in the entire management team of the company I'm working for.
Context: A mid sized company with
- a software engineering departmant consisting of several teams working on a variety of products and projects.
- a project management department with a bunch of project managers that mostly don't know shit about software development or technical details of the products created by engineering.
Project management is unhappy about the fact that software engineering practically never sticks to the plan regarding cost, time and function that was made at the very beginning of the project. Oh really? Since when does waterfall project management work well? As such they worked out a great idea how to improve the situation: They're going to implement *Shopfloor Management*!
Ever heared about Shopfloor Management? Probably not, because it is meant for improving repetitive workflows like assembly line work. In a nutshell it works by collecting key figures, detecting deviation in these numbers and performing targeted optimization of identified problem areas. Of course, there is more to Shopfloor Management, but that refers largely to the way the process just described is to be carried out (using visualisation boards, treating the employee well, let them solve the actual problem instead of management, and so on...). In any case, this process is not useful for highly complex and hard-to-predict workflows like software development.
That's like trying to improve a book author's output by measuring lines of text per day and fixing deviations in observed numbers with a wrench.
Why the hell don't they simply implement something proven like Scrum? Probably because they're affraid of losing control, affraid of self managed employees, affraid of the day everybody realizes that certain management layers are useless overhead that don't help in generating value but only bloat.
Fun times ahead!8 -
This next one is dedicated to a couple of special people at my workplace:
- The person who uploaded internal-use-only code to a personal repository on GitHub
- The network team that has blocked any and all access to GitHub
- The obscured mass of management bureaucracy that makes it pretty much impossible for anyone at my level to make any sort of appeal
This one's for you:
*ahem*
WHY?!3 -
Recently, one of our passwords was accidently published on a public page for a few minutes before it was noticed and removed. Unfortunately, this password opens nearly every locked account so it's a pretty big deal.
Management was informed of this mistake and told that we should change the passwords as well as implement a few other protocols to make sure this doesn't happen again including things like unique passwords, more secure passwords, using a password manager, etc.
Their response? It wasn't online long, probably no one saw it. There will be no changes in how we handle ours or our clients' secure passwords.6 -
One day at a meeting I proposed a solution and explained it to everyone and everyone agreed to it. And then comes in this motherfucking Mr. shithole who starts talking about a piece of shit approach which had apparent drawbacks and everyone could see it but no one mentions. Why, becuase that bigger asshole is the boss of these smaller assholes. When I mention the drawbacks, all I get in return is, you are right but we think you should go this way. No fucking explanation why should I or any son of bitch should go that way. And every single one of those fuckers in the meeting suddenly became ok with his approach without any question or doubt. I mean WTF! What kind of developer you are if cant fucking express your views.10
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Feeling productive at a Sunday evening. Let's install a DNS server and a fucking mail server on two forgotten VPS's I am still paying for.
SO A-FUCKING-PPEARANTLY, THEIR WEB MANAGEMENT PANEL IS FUCKED UP SO I CANNOT REINSTALL MY MOTHERFUCKER VPS's. HOW FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING DIFFICULT CAN IT BE.15 -
An important message:
PrOpErLy managing servers is HARD.
I get pissed off at customers with ZERO server knowledge who think they can manage their VPS. “Just get a control panel and a VPS” from some flashy provider that makes server management look way too easy.. Clicking around in their fancy control panel, until:
- they need help with their *self-managed* VPS;
- their email ends up in spam;
- they suffer from performance issues;
- they need to restore a backup;
- something breaks, because YES, things break
Way too little people are able to answer:
- when and how do you make backups?
- how do you monitor your servers and which services?
- how do you keep track of trend analysis?
Then I come by with necessary software. SNMP for trend analysis, Graphite for infrastructure health, Sensu for monitoring, Kibana, Ansible for configuration management..
Things that servers need but that customers have never even heard of.. because they can do everything in their control panel..
Until they come crying to me because it broke and they don’t even know how to get into SSH.
I think the ones to blame are VPS providers that tell the tale of how easy it is to install a control panel and never look at your server again.
Customers become responsible for something *business-critical*! Yet they don’t know how it works.6 -
After completing my sprint and some lingering stuff in the backlog
Me: Hey, there's this tiny feature people have really requested, I'll go build it since I got nothing else to do at the moment. It'll only take like 1h
PO: Hmm ok. Don't work on that yet, we need to check with business people and agree on the user stories and bla bla bla
Me: Ok, well there's these bugs I can take care of then, I'll get them fixed, won't be long.
PO: Hmmm, we need to measure the impact first. Let me get back to you on that a bit later
Me: Meh, oh. I'll refactor this bad component meanwhile then.
PO: Have you created a story for that in JIRA? Create the story first and then we'll groom it and take it in when we've time
Me in my head: Dafuq! Im trying to work on your fucking project but you keep throwing all that business bueraucracy shit at me. What am I supposed to do then? Sip coffee in the kitchen and talk about the other fucking billion failed "new business opportunities" with my peers? Fuck this circle jerk of a billion management people all trying to make themselves important. Nothing. Ever. Gets. Fucking. Done!!!
Me: Ah right, I'll do that *proceeds to the water cooler*5 -
When the boss believes that adding more devs to a project in the last week of a three month stint will "get it out the door faster".
Because baking that cake at twice the temperature for half the time worked so well last time, we'll do it while the oven is rolling down a cliff.4 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."3 -
Job Interview for a CTO role for a premium employer, a big law firm.
All is going well, I am telling them about my years of experience doing complex software integrations in business environments. Talking CRM/ERP, project management and development with external service providers. I tell them I want a salary of 100k and they nod in silence.
Then out of the blue one of the three stakeholders/managers leans over for a final question:
"Soo, we have this really big IT problem and if you would happen to know a solution to it, you would really prove your worth: I have these 10k+ E-Mails in my Outlook folder which doubles as an archive and Outlook keeps getting slower all the time. What can we do?"6 -
A) Create something that works, is fast, minimum bugs, have edge cases covered, nice testes, clean code. Cool, you did your job. END.
B) Create something shitty with bugs, performance issues, non or poor test coverage, mess code, etc. Cool, you did you job. But...
Next week you reduced bugs by 50%. Wow, you're rockstar.
Another week you improved performance by 15%. Again, you're the hero.
2 weeks later, you reached 85% test coverage. Management is so happy that almost got orgasm.
"A" took 3 months, "B" took 3 months plus few months of fixes. The only time where B was winning was first 4 weeks, where A was carefully building it's architecture and quality.
Yet B is seemed more successful.
This industry is F****d Up beyond my understanding.7 -
At lunch, someone asked a question about our Sunday Hack-a-thon. Our PO said it was a "Smack-a-thon." I told her, "No, don't make stupid names. Let's call things what they are. It's Management Failure Sunday." Manager was sitting across the table when I said it.4
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I just blocked some of the top management from connecting to our WLAN because I was testing a verifing feature for said WiFi that kicks all devices not listed in the DB.
It happened while my boss/senior/guidance was trying to show them the advantages of a centrally managed infrastructure.
He covered my ass well and tried to sell it to them as proof of a secure solution, that unknown devices couldn't log in.
I feel like human trash right now, but that's what you get for testing in production.4 -
I'm currently reading a course in Project Management and I have yet to find an image in the course literature with a person that doesn't suffers from a headache.
1 -
My situation: I got computer,router,phone,printer etc. all at one place
Now I decided to do some cable management...
I don't really know how to do cable management so I grabbed some duct tape ... This area now looks like this
6 -
Why management people thinks that a career path for any senior developer is to be a "leader" and be good in business side. Its like saying "hey you are a good programmer, let me take away that work you love to do and do stupid human resource management instead"6
-
Management: Create [totally idiotic and complicated feature, near to impossible to create]
Me: that's close to impossible and could probably destroy some other parts of the application.
Management: well, then your application is poorly programmed.
DAFUQ? HOW DARE TO JUDGE THE QUALITY OF MY CODE WITHOUT EVEN ABLE TO READ 2 LINES OF CSS? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THIS?
I'm really not easily offended but this sentence hit really hard.4 -
Boss: "Sooo.... How long will it take?"
Me: "Maybe we should agree on some processes and specify your wishes for the new feature first?"
Boss: "Yeah you're right.... But what do you think? Will you get it done til $deadline?"
...
Why am I even trying? Who needs project management anyway?4 -
A woman in hot air balloon realized she is lost...
She reduced altitude & shouted to a man below: Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.
Man below replied: You are in hot air balloon 30 feet above the ground. You are at 41 degree North latitude & 59 degree West longitude.
Lady: You must be an engineer.
Man: How do you know?
Lady: Everything you told me is technically correct but useless & the fact is I'm still lost.
Engineer: You must be in Top Management.
Lady: Ya. How do you know?
Engineer: You don't know where you are or where you're going, you have no technical knowledge.
You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep & you expect people beneath you to solve your problems..!!
😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 -
I'm going to kill management.
After a serious migration fiasco at one of our biggest costumers the platform was finally usable again (after two days instead of 10 hours) and, of course, users started to report bugs. So good old po came in ranting that we as qa did a horrible job and basically tried to fault us for a fucked up update (because we produced user pain, which of course not being able to log in didn't do). Among the issues: If the user has more than a hundred web pages the menu starts looking ugly, the translation to dutch in one string on the third submenu of a widget doesn't work and a certain functionality isn't available even if it's activated.
Short, they were either not a use case or very much minor except for that missing function. So today we've looked through the entire test code, testing lists, change logs and so on only to discover that the function was removed actively during the last major update one and a half years ago.
Now it's just waiting for the review meeting with the wonderful talking point "How could effective QA prevent something like this in the future" and throwing that shit into his face.
I mean seriously, if you fuck shit up stand by it. We all make mistakes but trying to pin it on other people is just really, really low.8 -
Why management has such orgasmic attachment to numbers?
Example 1.
Mngr: split this into tasks
Me: done
Mngr: now estimate these tasks
Me: can't. Team is new and codebase is unknown. Any estimations would be subjected to huge error and I will not commit to anything if I'm not at least partially sure.
Mngr: but we need some timeline
Me: so give it yourself. I'm not doing it
Example 2.
Mngr: we need to measure how your knowledge sharing sessions impacts our organisation
Me: how?
Mngr: e.g. amount of bugs lessen in next quarter
Me: bugs can go up and down because of hundred other reasons. Also, knowledge sharing is just to inspire people, it's up to them if they keep educating and growing. Me sharing knowledge 1h per week, I can't guarantee they will understand and apply this new knowledge.
Mngr: but we need to measure it somehow, otherwise it is useless.
Me: <speechless facepalm frustrated>22 -
doNotMessWithITTeamInAFuckingProject();
Last night me with my team have a discussion with my project team. Currently we have a project for our insurance client building a Learning Management System. The project condition already messed up since the first day i join a meeting. Because since its a consortium project with multiple company involved, one of company had a bad experience with another company. It happened few years back when both of company were somehow break up badly because miss communication (i heard this from one of my team).
Skip..skip... And then day to day like another stereotype IT projects when client and business analyst doing requirements gathering, the specs seems unclear and keep changing day by day even when I type this rant I'm sure it will change again.
Then something happened last night when my team leader force our business analyst to re index the use case number (imho) this is no need to be done, and i know the field conditions its so tough for all team members.
So many problems occured, actually this is a boring problem like lack of dev resource, lack of project management and all other stereotype IT projects had. Its sucks why this things is happening again.
Finally my fellow business analyst type a quite long message in our group and said that he maybe quit because its too tired and he felt that the leader only know about push push pushhhhhy fcking pussy, he never go to the client site and look what we've done and what we struggle so far.
I just don't know why, i know this guy earlier was an IT geek also, but when he leading a team he act like he never done IT project before, just know about pushing people without knowing what the context and sound to me like just rage push!
Damnit, i maybe quit also, you know we IT guy never affraid to quit anytime from the messed up condition like this. Even though we were at the bottom level in a project, but we hold the most main key for development.
Hope he (my leader) read this rant. And can realize what happened and fix this broken situation. I don't know what to say again, im in steady mode to quit anytime if something chaos happen nearly in the future.
doNotMessWithITTeamInAFuckingProject();
1 -
I am the sole frontend developer in my project. I have only 6 months of professional coding experience. Just got a call from a person who used to lead me (she is still my lead, technically, but not very much involved in the dev process (management’s decision, not hers)).
She said that a concern has been raised that there have been large number of frontend issues which they (she didn’t specify, I am guessing management) haven’t seen before.
What do you think is the “large number”? Let me tell you. It’s 4.
2 of which are minor CSS issues that couldn’t have been anticipated while coding. They are runtime issues.
One of the 4 is a both frontend and backend issue.
And the last one is a fucking change request!
1 player, many responsibilities, slight issues, RAISE CONCERN - That’s management for you.
Fuck them, I guess.
On top of that, a concern I raised in front of the management regarding the management is not so much of a priority for them. I have a feeling that the concern they raised is just them being a jerk because I raised a concern in the first place.
Fuck them, again!
And again!3 -
When I was a graduate I often had to do proof of concepts and one had to be done by the weekend, I'd only been given it on the Wednesday. After a few sleepless nights I had it working or so I thought. On the Friday afternoon the CTO had a look at it and spotted a bug, he told me about it and I stayed in the office until about 10 when I finally managed to get some kind of fix in place. I emailed him told him I thought but was working and shouldn't happen again.
A few hours later no response I get a phone call from him screaming, shouting and swearing calling me useless and a waste of space etc. Etc. To the point I logged in desperately trying to fix the issue in a very hastily written integration and ended up having quite a major panic attack woke up on the floor and immediately went back to work. On the Saturday morning one of the senior Devs logged in and managed to fix it in the database and everything went fine in the end.
I went into work on Monday fully expecting to be fired from the way the CTO was speaking to me, I went to my line manager at the time and he just said don't worry. I left it in his
hands and things went back to normal. That call put a pretty serious dent in my confidence for years, but I learned a few valuable lessons which I stick to today.
Never work on serious shit after 6, use a second mobile for work which is turned off at 5 o'clock, properly test all fixes and always ALWAYS have someone in between graduates and senior management because honestly they can't handle the shit that's flung from above.1 -
I'm cry-laughing.
Management wanted us to deliver a completely new feature before the holidays (see my previous rant) and they were acting really sad when we told them it is impossible. It turns out they really want it to be done, and instead of realising it is not going to happen, they are coming up with brilliant new ideas on what we should do and how should we do it on a daily basis. It was just just a little nuisance until today, listening to them and reading their mails for half an hour a day is not a big deal.
So guess what? They changed the whole fucking specification today. I can't even...7 -
My last job before going freelance. It started as great startup, but as time passed and the company grew, it all went down the drain and turned into a pretty crappy culture.
Once one of the local "darling" startups, it's now widely known in the local community for low salaries and crazy employee churn.
Management sells this great "startup culture", but reality is wildly different. Not sure if the management believes in what the are selling, or if they know they are selling BS.
- The recurring motto of "Work smarter, not harder" is the biggest BS of them all. Recurring pressure to work unpaid overtime. Not overt, because that's illegal, but you face judgement if you don't comply, and you'll eventually see consequences like lack of raises, or being passed for promotions in favour of less competent people that are willing to comply.
- Expectation management is worse than non-existent. Worse, because they actually feed expectations they have no intention of delivering on. (I.e, career progression, salary bumps and so on)
- Management is (rightfully) proud of hiring talented people, but then treat almost everyone like they're stupid.
- Feedback is consistently ignored.
- Senior people leave. Replace them with cheap juniors. Promote the few juniors that stay for more than 12 months to middle-management positions and wonder where things went wrong.
- People who rock the boat about the bad culture or the shitty stunts that management occasionally pulls get pushed out.
- Get everyone working overtime for a week to setup a venue for a large event, abroad, while you have everyone in bunk rooms at the cheapest hostel you could find and you don't even cover all meal expenses. No staff hired to setup the venue, so this includes heavy lifting of all sorts. Fly them on the cheapest fares, ensuring nobody gets a direct flight and has a good few hours of layover. Fly them on the weekend, to make sure nobody is "wasting time" travelling during work hours. Then call this a team building.
This is a tech recruitment company that makes a big fuss about how tech recruitment is broken and toxic...
Also a company that wants to use ML and AI to match candidates to jobs and build a sophisticated product, and wanted a stronger "Engineering culture" not so long ago. Meanwhile:
- Engineering is shoved into the back seat. Major company and product decisions made without input from anyone on the engineering side of things, including the product roadmaps.
- Product lead is an inexperienced kid with zero tech background -> Promote him to also manage the developers as part of the product team while getting rid of your tech lead.
- Dev team is essentially seen by management as an assembly line for features. Dev salaries are now well below market average, and they wonder why it's hard to recruit good devs. (Again, this is a tech recruitment company)1 -
That moment when you quit your job where you worked for the past 4 years and you have your last 5 days at work when your supervisor says that it's time to improve our documentation. Oh really? Wtf have I been saying all along? We have almost no documentation at the moment, so I expect lots and lots of confusion once I'm gone...confusion or phone calls to me.3
-
SLOC is the shittiest metric to exist.
If you're in software management, know that any of the numbers you've ever received (from me or anyone) for SLOC count are totally worthless.
"How many lines of code do you think you'll need to write to finish those features"?
"100000000000000"13 -
Once upon a time, one or two jobs ago, a really awesome engineer specced out a distributed search application in response to a business need. This company was managed pretty oldschool and required a ton of paperwork and approvals.
The engineer spent many weeks running tests and optimizing the hell out of this app cluster. It flew, and he had the data to prove it could handle production workloads (think hundreds of terabytes of data being processed every single day)
Part of the way he achieved this was having RAID0 on all of the servers to maximize I/O throughput. He didn't care much about data loss, since the application itself was fault tolerant on a much more granular level.
Management, hearing about this, absolutely flipped their shit and demanded RAID6 instead. This despite the conclusive data that the engineer had that proved RAID6 couldn't keep up.
He more or less got told to STFU.
Even this despite the fact that a RAID restripe would actually take many times longer than rebuilding the failed node from scratch (a process that took about 30 minutes by hand, and could probably be automated to be done in less than five), causing a longer exposure to actual data loss throughout the length of the days-long array rebuild time.
The ill-thought-out requirement added about 50% to the cost of the project (*many* more hard drives now required), beyond the original budget, and the subsequent bureaucratic wrangling resulted in a late product launch.
6 months or so later, after real customers were using this product, the app was buckling under around half of its expected workload. A friend of the engineer suggested to management to try RAID0. Sure enough, that resolved the I/O bottleneck.
This rage-inducing story has a happy ending, though! Said engineer left the company not long after this incident, citing it as a reason for his departure. He was immediately hired by another company, making integer multiples of his prior salary.
The product the company botched the launch of by ignoring his spec? It died a few months later. Maybe the poor customer experience was to blame? Maybe the late launch? Maybe it was another reason entirely.
Either way, millions of dollars of hardware now sat fallow. This was a black eye on the company all the way up to the C-level.
tl;dr: Listen to your engineers. You hired them for their expertise.5 -
I'm beginning to think that it's not important to know how to code anymore, but how good you are at handling management.5
-
"adding that feature is not hard, the devs are just lazy"... or maybe... just maybe development is more complicated than you make it out to be when you vomit your middle management all over it?
-
Today we got a company announcement saying "Our time management tool got updated."
..still uses Flash Player.
For god's sake how is this even possible. Who did this?!2 -
When you resign, then they realise a potential developer. Before that you were just an Hooman resource.1
-
If there are too many fries on the plate then the value of each fry goes down.
That's what is happening with the dev community right now. There are so many devs that the upper management doesn't care so much for us. Also, what infuriates me the most is those devs who don't value development work as much. They either don't think very highly of programming/computers or don't love their job. Both these kinds of devs and the upper management make me sick to the core.
Hence, I appeal to all the developers out there:
If you are doing dev work, please do it with all your heart and passion and show the upper management that we are indispensable. Do not forget the spirit of a developer to solve problems and create amazing things.6 -
I'm a backend (Java, Kotlin) developer and I mainly design & develop services and Android apps which consume these services.
My team in my current organization (I've been working here since past 2 years) just got merged with another team.
And now the new boss wants me to fix some fuck ups in their project which is written in C#, with some WCF and other stuff.
As this stuff is completely new for me, I asked for some time to get familiar with the environment. But the answer was a big NO.
As a result, "I've started looking out for a new job"
😡😠
Fuckin management screws up everything!4 -
Building a pull request on our Build Server takes 14 hours, it can do about 10 builds at a time and there are already 26 builds in the queue and it isn't even 10am.
I've been waiting for a build since I queued it on Friday - because the queue is actually a stack.
And management / senior developers are like...
7 -
If you’re writing in Python and you find yourself in dependency management hell and you don’t know about pipenv, consider this a friendly PSA:
pipenv is your friend.5 -
I am working on a project that integrated with Microsoft Dynamics. The D365 team changes the data and API too often. I keep munging the data over and over so that it fits view models.
Yesterday I had a technical discussion with someone that the company installed to coordinate building technical solutions that get shared between projects. This is a problem across all of our Dynamics projects and is a technical one than needs coordinated approach.
The management heard that I am “doing repeated work because the data isn’t stable.” So they decided that it must be a problem with the project manager. The executive decides to use it as a reason to fire him. Which shows me that I can’t talk to even a technical person without risk of project chaos.
After the conversation but before the firing I get an offer letter from another company. I plan on taking it to get away from this crazy company. The project is going to lose their key web developer and also the project manager.
This executive seems to love firing project managers. My other project is on its third PM. My trust for the upper management is basically gone. I can’t even discuss the technical hurdles with a technical person without someone getting fired. I’m so ready to be out of this zoo.
The only downside of leaving is that I won’t have as many stories to tell on devRant.2 -
seagull management
| ˈsēˌɡəl manijmənt | noun
When managers are totally uninvolved in the work, but they just swoop down once in a while to shit all over everything. “This is wrong, and this, and this looks bad,” etc., before flying away again.
2 -
The concept of manhours in our company.
A project that is estimated to take 400 manhours can not be finished by 50 people on 4 hours.4 -
In knew it was bad at the time, but holy shit have I realised how shitty my last job was!
Underpaid (though still not doing too badly), underappreciated, and no promotion or raise despite promises of one for over a year. Of course the minute I handed in my notice, they immediately offered me a 15k raise and "oh, we can get you involved in the management side in 6 months".
Guess what bitches, my new job * is * being a manager, and I get a 20k pay rise. 2 weeks in and I'm loving it, wish I'd switched sooner!
The catch is, I'm now a manager. Does this make me the future bad guy?3 -
Just right now:
Management: How's the feature going?
Me: The backend is done. Here's how the front end looks so far...
Management: What?! No! Where will they input the units? What about the input#2? and the graphs?! You were just not going to put that?
Me: ... this is how it's lookin so far. The deadline isn't until next week. I'm actually pretty ahead of schedule.
Management: But what about button #2 and #3? And input #4?
Me: Yes, it's all planned. It's not done yet. You asked me how I'm doing so far. Of course I haven't finished.7 -
Fuck this day!
Like really fuck it!
I have one of the most terrible crunch-time i ever experienced.
I’v been working 12+ hours every day with an ever-changing project timeline.
It started simple, we made a timeline, it was risky even then but it was realistic, we started working immideatly, everything looked good then a few days in BOOM! Actually our project management completely forgot client B’s projects soo we need to do that too with the same fucking deadline!!! (About 10x more work in waay less time)
Then this morning i got an email from the graphics team that we need to document our design process RIGHT FUCKING NOW! Because management wants documentations, in the middle of a fucking crunch-time.
Today it almost got physical with my project manager, i told him that he is not a programmer, i dont fucking care about his shit, just fuck off and let me work because we won’t be ready based on his unrealistic bs.
I feel like completely fucked over, like we were told 2 days before deadline that the whole company and people’s jobs depends on us now because if we wont finish this clients won’t pay.
WE ARE TWO PROGRAMMERS for studio of 10-12 people!!!
Soo i’w been thinking about getting the fuck out of here ASAP, i got an offer from a pretty big international gamedev company just what i needed, i already did their test before all of this, i passed A+.
We scheduled a skype interview for today. I had completely no time to prepare or chill off, just got out of the office, got into a starbucks and i’m interviewing. No time to even check my mic or internet, the call was so shit i could not hear anything, they neither because the plaza was loud af. Meanwhile im nervous about work, about the interview, about can they hear me at all because of the noise. I fucked it up. BIG time! I was so done i could not reverse a fucking string in c++ or explain what is a signed int!!!
Needless to say they said no.
Need time to think about it or realize what happened? Nice dreams. Back to the office and continue working.
I can’t do this anymore. My girlfriend came for me and took me home at 10pm but all i could do was stare at the floor on the subway. I don’t want people to lose their jobs but i just phisically can’t do this anymore.
Meanwhile any time i talk to my project manager about being tired he says like “hshshsbsb i have 60 hours in the last 4 days i got the worst part, i would be grateful in your place..” like fuck off dude, i dont give fuck about how you feel about this. This is not okay for me, you did this to the project, your fucking job is to manage it! I have one day off before going back to this, i have completely no idea what to do now...
[ps: this is not Nemesys. They did not let me work on my own stuff because i would be a competitor, so i left.]5 -
How do working professionals find time to learn new tech? Work all weekdays... Shit tired on weekends this happens for few months and suddenly kids are b building ai and stuff and u just feel dumb.. how do you guys do it? How do you stay on top of the game?9
-
Time management tips one must follow to be successful:-
1. Remove distractions:- Phone, Whatsapp, Instagram, FB, etc. All away from you during work.
2. Remove clutters: Get rid of not required things.
3. Eliminate redundancy
4. Emulate others: (My favourite) If someone has spend time and done some work. Do not reinvent the same work done just replicate that work and continue from that point.
5. Share burden: Team work and depending on others is not bad.
6. Make work fun: Most important if you enjoy your work you will give your best.7 -
Our company is cheap, cheap as fuck. We have to use some third-party platforms and every year they choose something that is slightly cheaper than the other. (like a few $ per annual), they do not know that we have to refactor our code at the backend because the changes of the platform.
It doesn't end there, they even look for devs from third world countries to work for them remotely instead of hiring permanent staff (I understand it is cheaper because of currency difference and etc), but what about the training period or to let them become comfortable with the existing system, even when he/she is a genius... it takes time to be productive at work.
The worst part is they dont give a shit, they think devs can be replaced easily just like some construction workers carrying stuffs on site (no offence to them), management treating people like shit and doesn't care when they leave.2 -
Recently purchased a few edge AI devices at work, and management sent some people to box up and get rid of our dedicated GPUs, since we "just got new AI computers." Now futilely trying to explain to management that not all computers are exactly the same...3
-
Getting serious about CISSP as I try getting into security and management.
Any tips for studying this? Anything to keep in mind when I get into leadership and need to not piss off the people smarter than I am?
8 -
I was asked to fix a critical issue which had high visibility among the higher ups and were blocking QA from testing.
My dev lead (who was more like a dev manager) was having one of his insecure moments of “I need to get credit for helping fix this”, probably because he steals the oxygen from those who actually deserve to be alive and he knows he should be fired, slowly...over a BBQ.
For the next few days, I was bombarded with requests for status updates. Idea after idea of what I could do to fix the issue was hurled at me when all I needed was time to make the fix.
Dev Lead: “Dev X says he knows what the problem is and it’s a simple code fix and should be quick.” (Dev X is in the room as well)
Me: “Tell me, have you actually looked into the issue? Then you know that there are several race conditions causing this issue and the error only manifests itself during a Jenkins build and not locally. In order to know if you’ve fixed it, you have to run the Jenkins job each time which is a lengthy process.”
Dev X: “I don’t know how to access Jenkins.”
And so it continued. Just so you know, I’ve worked at controlling my anger over the years, usually triggered by asinine comments and decisions. I trained for many years with Buddhist monks atop remote mountain ranges, meditated for days under waterfalls, contemplated life in solitude as I crossed the desert, and spent many phone calls talking to Microsoft enterprise support while smiling.
But the next day, I lost my shit.
I had been working out quite a bit too so I could have probably flipped around ten large tables before I got tired. And I’m talking long tables you’d need two people to move.
For context, unresolved comments in our pull request process block the ability to merge. My code was ready and I had two other devs review and approve my code already, but my dev lead, who has never seen the code base, gave up trying to learn how to build the app, and hasn’t coded in years, decided to comment on my pull request that upper management has been waiting on and that he himself has been hounding me about.
Two stood out to me. I read them slowly.
“I think you should name this unit test better” (That unit test existed before my PR)
“This function was deleted and moved to this other file, just so people know”
A devil greeted me when I entered hell. He was quite understanding. It turns out he was also a dev.3 -
Telling my mom how to do computer stuff is like programming, I need to outline every fucking step. Yes this includes file management.
-
Many years ago I was told by a senior dev that caching is one of the hardest things I'll ever come across. At the time I didn't know what he meant, but these past few days I'm starting to understand what he meant. It's not using the cache itself, it's the cache management that is hard. Determining what needs to be cached, when a cache should be invalidated, how long should something be cached etc. It's pretty insane when you start having to compare it with the requirements.1
-
This is definitely a total first world problem but I am so frustrated.
I am stuck in a team that embodies the Japanese proverb "The nail that sticks out gets hammered down".
The management are there because it is convenient and flexible and have no interest in managing or keeping up with tech.
The lead developers are extremely anti-social and are not approachable and the this stems down to the devs (not all but really most) - all there just to do the bare minimum and spend most of their energies in trying to avoid work or having learn something.
Unfortunately I am passionate about what I do and want to build high-quality products and this has put me at odds with the way things work.
I could fill up alot of time talking about how I was ordered to "cut" images/icons out of PDFs rather just getting them from the branding team, or how I was scolded for having set up logging, detected a problem caused by another developer and fixed it before it cost a big client a massive amount of money... But really the point is that I have never worked somewhere with such an awful attitude to enthusiasm and quite frankly it boggles my mind trying to understand how they rationalise these things but the answer is always laziness.
Obviously there are worse problems in the world than working in a job where you are encouraged to do nothing... But it actually really depresses me and causes anxiety that I am working with people who don't care about testing or monitoring or learning new things or even collaboration.
...sigh...
Hopefully the job market will start opening again soon5 -
What managers fail to realize is us developers and designers work close. We talk about things, we bicker, we find related problems that we have in our workplace. We band together and we form efforts. They are few and we are many. A project managers job is to be a servant to who they manage. If you cannot be straight forward and well respected At the same tome then it is not the job for you.3
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"If we need to deprioritize something that's fine, as long as it all still gets done by the time we agreed on."
Gotta love product management types.4 -
Being smart but not applying yourself is the same as being stupid.
I've been having a rough semester , as I sat around and played video games for the first few weeks.
Ever since I stopped gaming I started doing more code stuff, and getting things done.
In hindsight, I probably shouldve stopped gaming when the semester started.
What are your guys experience with this? What stratergies do you use for time management?
12 -
Picture a small product team, the dev side of it has 1 tech lead, 1 recently promoted senior dev, 1 junior dev.
1 - Offer your tech lead a severance package
2 - Hire a mid-level and a junior dev
3 - Give the product lead role to someone in their mid-20s that has no tech or project management background
4 - ???
The next 6 months are going to be interesting ones...4 -
Me: *working on a project for a year solo*
Management: Let's move development to consultants
Me: I don't think we'll profit from that
Management: Yes let's do it anyways
Me: *switching between project management and working on another project for 6 weeks*
EMERGENCY MEETING
Management: We're not getting enough output
Me: What did I say?
I'm so fucking tired of this project fuckery. Cred to my boss, she's great, but this time they should've just listened to me.2 -
Just started my first "management" role after 12 years as a developer, first thing I learnt is its just like my last role only I don't have to do any of the hard work.
Worried they'll figure out I'm doing almost nothing soon, any tips? Should I just start scheduling meetings to discuss meetings?4 -
dev, ~boring
This is either a shower thought or a sober weed thought, not really sure which, but I've given some serious consideration to "team composition" and "working condition" as a facet of employment, particularly in regard to how they translate into hiring decisions and team composition.
I've put together a number of teams over the years, and in almost every case I've had to abide by an assemblage of pre-defined contexts that dictated the terms of the team working arrangement:
1. a team structure dictated to me
2. a working temporality scheme dictated to me
3. a geographic region in which I was allowed to hire
4. a headcount, position tuple I was required to abide by
I've come to regard these structures as weaknesses. It's a bit like the project management triangle in which you choose 1-2 from a list of inadequate options. Sometimes this is grounded in business reality, but more often than not it's because the people surrounding the decisions thrive on risk mitigation frameworks that become trickle down failure as they impose themselves on all aspects of the business regardless of compatibility.
At the moment, I'm in another startup that I have significantly more control over and again have found my partners discussing the imposition of structure and framework around how, where, why, who and what work people do before contact with any action. My mind is screaming at me to pull the cord, as much as I hate the expression. This stems from a single thought:
"Hierarchy and structure should arise from an understanding of a problem domain"
As engineers we develop processes based on logic; it's our job, it's what we do. Logic operates on data derived from from experiments, so in the absence of the real we perform thought experiments that attempt to reveal some fundamental fact we can use to make a determination.
In this instance we can ask ourselves the question, "what works?" The question can have a number contexts: people, effort required, time, pay, need, skills, regulation, schedule. These things in isolation all have a relative importance ( a weight ), and they can relatively expose limits of mutual exclusivity (pay > budget, skills < need, schedule < (people * time/effort)). The pre-imposed frameworks in that light are just generic attempts to abstract away those concerns based on pre-existing knowledge. There's a chance they're fine, and just generally misunderstood or misapplied; there's also a chance they're insufficient in the face of change.
Fictional entities like the "A Team," comprise a group of humans whose skills are mutually compatible, and achieve synergy by random chance. Since real life doesn't work on movie/comic book logic, it's easy to dismiss the seed of possibility there, that an organic structure can naturally evolve to function beyond its basic parts due to a natural compatibility that wasn't necessarily statistically quantifiable (par-entropic).
I'm definitely not proposing that, nor do I subscribe to the 10x ninja founders are ideal theory. Moreso, this line of reasoning leads me to the thought that team composition can be grown organically based on an acceptance of a few observed truths about shipping products:
1. demand is constant
2. skills can either be bought or developed
3. the requirement for skills grows linearly
4. hierarchy limits the potential for flexibility
5. a team's technically proficiency over time should lead to a non-linear relationship relationship between headcount and growth
Given that, I can devise a heuristic, organic framework for growing a team:
- Don't impose reporting structure before it has value (you don't have to flatten a hierarchy that doesn't exist)
- crush silos before they arise
- Identify needed skills based on objectives
- base salary projections on need, not available capital
- Hire to fill skills gap, be open to training since you have to pay for it either way
- Timelines should always account for skills gap and training efforts
- Assume churn will happen based on team dynamics
- Where someone is doesn't matter so long as it's legal. Time zones are only a problem if you make them one.
- Understand that the needs of a team are relative to a given project, so cookie cutter team composition and project management won't work in software
- Accept that failure is always a risk
- operate with the assumption that teams that are skilled, empowered and motivated are more likely to succeed.
- Culture fit is a per team thing, if the team hates each other they won't work well no matter how much time and money you throw at it
Last thing isn't derived from the train of thought, just things I feel are true:
- Training and headcount is an investment that grows linearly over time, but can have exponential value. Retain people, not services.
- "you build it, you run it" will result in happier customers, faster pivoting. Don't adopt an application maintenance strategy
/rant2 -
So I work for a company that does outsource, this company is pretty nice, but I don't get to see it too often. The one where I'm outsourcing though is the one where I spend all of my time.
Now, this company is a kind of a startup working with AI and Deep Learning (but not if statements :o ), but I came here as a full stack python developer that should implement their AI modules into real apps (mainly web apps).
Everything sounds good untill now, I learn lots and I'm doing what I wanted: python development. The problem is: management + one kiss ass guy.
The amount of work that should be done and the deadlines that should be kept are so messed up that I end up working extra hours, sometimes even in weekend, just to get it done. I'm the only apps developer there, so passing my tasks is not an option. I tried to talk about this, but I was met with a "loser can't keep up even with these few tasks..." kind of attitude.
Moreover, there is a guy that would do anything for the boss's attention, so he speaks everyone there behind their backs (and we all know it, but he's the favorite and he actually knows his stuff so we can't do much about him).
Now the question: what should I do? I only have 5 months here (so leaving would put a hole in my CV, I don't even know what to answer at this interview question "why are you leaving"), plus that the managers from these two companies are highschool friends which means that if I go and ask for a different project, the atmosphere at work will change (maybe this is overthinking already, but I can't help it). Also, last week I could barely get through the days without crying from stress.
TL;DR: I learn a lot from this company, but the deadlines are killing me and my stress level is at an all time high. I want to leave, but I kind of can't because I want my CV to look good.
So yeah, this is my first real rant, feels good to put it out there15 -
Why the fuck management keep outsourcing entire platforms for in-house use if we have a fucking dev team...
Those platforms are constantly having contract issues and one we recently rewrote from scratch and is waaay better than the one they fucking paid another company to do....3 -
Took my PC to a good repair shop because there was an issue with the motherboard. They complete ruined my cable management while installing the new motherboard I have a glass side panel. Fml.6
-
That the most important thing in any project is to first make sure YOU have understood what the customer/management wants and that THEY have understood what you are going to do.
Seen so many projects (other people's and my own) go down the drain because people had false expectations.
Also, good management is enormously important for any medium-sized endeavour. I cannot count how often I have seen mediocre to bad middle management screw things up, and devs pull off overnighters and 60+hours work weeks for this super-important project that then goes to the bin because "it turned out to be not so important in the end, sorry."1 -
This happened a couple months ago, but I wanted to share this one, since it still baffles me.
We were hiring and had this weird candidate. The team said no to the guy after the interview, management still hired him and pressured us to train him, which cost us tons of hours we had to somehow squeeze in during a hot phase of our project.
After almost 3.5 weeks training he had to hand in a small component. What he handed in was brainlessly duplicated, half of the stuff in there wasn't even used, the other half wasn't working properly. At the review we asked questions about the code he handed in - he could not answer one of them.
We then had a big argument with management to let the guy go, which they eventually unhappily agreed to.
The icing on that cake of a story: Turns out, the guy was hired as a senior dev with a way higher paycheck than most of the devs on the team. Wtf?!9 -
-Management puts unrealistic deadline as usual-
_Tries his best but fails to deliver on time_
*Puts a clearly visible bug in code*
~Tester finds it and creates a issue~
*Solves the issue, wraps up the remaining things and closes the issue*
**Wakes up from dream, cuz he is the tester as well** -
Yesterday all management was sick or away on vacation or training.
All work continued as normal. Everyone is an adult and knows what to do.
Made me question if we actually need to have soooo many people in management positions.
Funny to think that they get paid more.
Ironically when a developer is sick, real money is lost and progress stops in a particular area.
🤔2 -
Who the hell invented this industry where smartest individuals are being evaluated by those who didn't understood technology well enough and moved to management (it's usual scenario, though there are exceptions)?
Can you imagine surgeon performance/quality being evaluated by some clerk who may or may not had studied medicine earlier, but wasn't good enough to become surgeon itself so ended up in hospital administration.
Or can you imagine bridge engineer having his/her performance/quality evaluated by someone who had built bicycle shed 5 years ago?
Damn, yet in software industry it's pretty normal.
(Don't confuse management with performance evaluation. I know management have different scope and duties, but idea that management does the performance evaluation is so damn broken.)6 -
!rant
how long do you guys code per day?
being a student i have now extreme difficulties in time management😐
need some advice...9 -
We are forced to work on weekends because the management and the project manager loves to kiss the ass of our clients. I was even scolded by working from home.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR THAT WE HAVE TO SUFFER AND SHOULDER THEIR INCOMPETENCE IN MANAGING THIS FUCKING PROJECT.
Damnit. God Damnit.5 -
Oh god... technical decisions should be taken by people who actually know what they are doing and even so still counter-checked and not followed blindly.
I am currently working in a company that wasted millions by trying to implement micro-services where they don't belong and didn't step back when they realize it was a mistake
(protip: micro-services usually don't belong in most places).
Now we're dealing with the sunken costs fallacy and I am seriously believing that the company is going bust in a few months. Let's wait and see. -
I'm starting a new job in a month!
I'm simultaneously excited and anxious about it.
Excited because I get to work on some new cool projects, use new tech, get great pay and benefits, and it really seems like a great place for me.
Anxious because I am currently on sick leave with stress, because my current job wore me down. Not so much the tasks themselves, but the atmosphere and attitude of management. So I have to hope that I can manage to get enough rest in the coming month that I am well enough to perform well at my new job.4 -
If you have an employee engagement survey that reveals that employees are not happy, don't dismiss and mock the employees when presenting the results.
It might very well be that it actually does not improve the situation.3 -
Why do I have to "grow" into a managerial role? I like doing what I am doing and would like to do it more. Anyone with some serious advice on how to stay relevant in software development with greying hair and without growing into people management?4
-
when the project is "almost done" when you join in, but you discover that nothing is working properly and there's placeholder text in the whole database.
-
So I am working on a cloud app, Angular on the frontend and NestJS with heavy AWS dependency at the backend. I took my time to learn the stack and I have a couple of years of experience with each piece involved.
Since I am a Level 1 developer, management thought (and I felt same way) it would be nice for me to work with a couple of Level 3 devs.
Well, they hired Level 3 devs:
- a senior Java developer who never touched AWS, any kind of frontend or Typescript
- a senior c++ dev with the same “never touched” as above
And guess what? I have to train them both in Angular, Typescript etc. Kinda defeats the whole purpose of L3, “they will help you to deliver stuff fast”, and adds load on me (I am already a shared resource on 3 teams).
Oh, and yeah, management already promised to release the app by the end of the year and so far I am the only capable and functional developer on the team who has to deliver everything.
I had so much hope for new hiring cycle lol10 -
Today at 'Derp & Co' is the end of the last sprint, no one have close all the task asigned. Myself included.
- that sucks...
Because there are task from previos sprints still in TODO that block other tasks.
- oof
But there is more... Yesterday was the deadline of the project. From today and onwards the client get discount.
- oof (but fair to the client)
Management have in mind AT LEAST 4 more weeks of development.
- But... how... wtf?
In 2 weeks part of the hardware we need for the project will return to the client.
- <smash the door and leave>
Management still is asking if we can do it on time...
- yeah... just call the Doctor, we need a TARDIS ASAP2 -
I love my job. Minus that 1 stupid guy who I don't understand how he was hired. And minus one of the managers messaging me after hours to do work. Everyone else is alright, need to find a way to hide from that manager and work on projects exclusively with other managers D:
Anyone else ever felt like hiding from management? Lol1 -
My university provides advanced education courses and you'll get certified if you pass them. I'm really interested but I don't have so much time, so which one should I pick?
List of courses I'm interested in:
SQL
IT-Security
Project Management
PHP
I'm curious about your suggestions ;)10 -
Today I had sort of a meltdown when I found out that the small, 20-something company where I work and where we should all 'trust each other' is working to stealthily enable SSL Inspection.
I'm done with doing anything other than what is stipulated in my contract such as helping out in other areas out of my own volition.
Management got control hungry and mad once they got their hands on a Deep Inspection Firewall.
Well, I'm not feeling sorry for the uproar they'll have to endure once colleagues find out they are doing this stealthily.
Serves them right and after this and other similar experiences my trust in this company is right through the floor.2 -
TL;DR: When picking vendors to outsource work to, vet them really well.
Backstory:
Got a large redesign project that involves rebuilding a website's main navigation (accessibility reasons).
Project is too big just for our dev team to handle with our workload so we got to bring a 3rd party vendor to help us. We do this often so no big deal.
But, this time the twist was Senior Management already had retained hours with a dev shop so they want us to use them for project. Okay...
It begins:
Have our scope / discovery meeting about the changes and our expected DevOps workflow.
Devs work Local and push changes to our Github, that kicks off the build and we test on Dev, then it goes to Staging for more testing & PM review. Once ready we can push to prod, or whenever needed. All is agreed, everyone was happy.
Emailed the vendors' project manager to ask for their devs Github accounts so we can add them to the project. Got no reply for 3 days.
4th day, I get back "Who sets up the Github accounts?"
fuck me. they've never used Github before but in our scope meeting 4 days ago you said Github was fine...??
Whatever, fuck it. I'll make the accounts and add them.
Added 4 devs to the repo and setup new branch. 40min later get an email that they can't setup dev environment now, the dev doesn't know how to setup our CMS locally, "not working for some reason."
So, they ask for permission to develop on our STAGING server.. "because it's already setup"... they want to actively dev on our staging where we get PM/Senior Management approvals?
We have dev, staging, production instances and you want to dev in staging, not dev?... nay nay good sir.
This is whom senior management wants us to use, already paid for via retainer no less. They are a major dev shop and they're useless...
😢😭
Cant wait for today's progress checkup meeting. 😐😐
/rant1 -
I know that you two guys don't get together well. Shall we(the management team) send you guys for some team bonding training sessions? Whatttt?? 🙄🙄🙄4
-
- have a look at the project
- brake it down into smaller stories
- estimate the time
- multipy it with 1.5
- add 1-3 days of testing
- add 15% project management
- add a 2 days buffer
= be happy with being done in 2 weeks, present it in 4 -
I think I have little bit problem with tab management.
Please note tiny grey dots above some tabs on left side, those are tab groups...
3 -
Why don't managers/team-leads take into account the time that you get stuck on something that's stupid to ask but it eats up your hours :(2
-
After a management meeting about the companies first e-commerce initiative which I proposed and protocol-typed with assistance from internal and 3rd party resources, I returned with my boss to her office feeling on cloud nine as everything had been accepted / approved and the project was green lit!!!
She turns to me and says “I’m going down to the local sex shop and buying the largest dildo, strap it on, and then they will listen to me too”... I just sat, staring at the floor ...
Queue the crickets...4 -
My boss just upgraded our customer support level with a company we depend on, but I'm not allowed to use any of our 40 allotted phone support hours for "code questions" because "we might need them for something later on".1
-
Do you have this culture at the office where your employer (management) try to shame you if you leave at the normal hour? How do you deal with it?
If you work in France I would like to know what's your work schedule, because I'm in a startup and everyone stay there until 18pm.15 -
Around three months ago in a meeting regarding a new end2end test for a product :
PO: We have a full feature stop, only bug fixes are coming until we can unify all products.
Me : So I can use any selectors without worrying the whole thing breaks with the next update?
PO: Sure.
Last Thursday :
PO: Yeah, we gonna overhaul the entire UI with the next release to get better UX.
Why would any sane person reinvent an entire product thats already scheduled for discontinuation in 2018? And how is it possible that a few months ago nobody knew anything about it? Are they using fucking tatot cards for management decisions?1 -
Since graduation, I have worked in IT for 2 years, mostly in testing and implementation side. Finally I got a developer position in the field I wanted (Data Engineering). I had never thought that it would be such a soul crushing experience. My current company is very notorious for its bad management practices, but there is indeed a bigger picture to this. The IT industry in general has devolved into a gigantic ponzi scam built on exploitation and BS. Quality of solution and quality of work was replaced with a ‘Does it work now?’ approach with zero contingency. And the fact that geeks and nerds are naive only helps the white collar crooks to exploit them as code monkeys. Fuck all of this!1
-
I don't know if this is exactly a rant. But - I am sure somewhere out there has run into this situation before.
I've been a developer (professionally) for a 3 years. And in that time I've stayed with that same company.
Over that time its become incredibly apparent that my boss (senior developer) isn't exactly keen on new technologies, source control (I had to push hard for this. And even then he doesn't use it properly), or any kind of project management. It's only he and I.
I've started interviewing other places and while I have no problems answering their technical questions. I'm worried my lack of experience in a team is becoming a problem.
We don't work on projects together. We don't do code reviews. He does not ask my opinion on anything. We are basically two separate teams. I want to improve as a developer. I love the rest of the company and I enjoy what I'm working on. I just feel I'm hindering my growth as a developer.
Anyone have any advice? I know I can find a project to contribute to on github or something. But honestly that's intimidating to me for some reason. I am self taught. And don't have any experience in working with teams.4 -
In an IT management class, the professor wanted us to estimate the operation costs for a small IT company, breaking them down by service offered. I remember creating a markdown file, multiple times executing the line `echo $RANDOM >> estimations.md`. We rounded the numbers slightly, pimped the document a bit and submitted a nice PDF. When we had to present our work, the professor asked us how we had proceeded to calculate those results. We told him a story about an Excel file we worked on, but did not submit, because we thought he'd be interested in the end result and not care about those details. He asked us to submit that Excel calculation, because he wanted to comprehend our method. So we got together, created an Excel sheet, copied our "estimations" into column C and called it "service cost". For column B, we used the same "cost per man hour" value (scientifically estimated using the RAND() function) for every row. Finally, we divided the "service cost" by the "cost per man hour" for every row, put the result in column A and called it "effort (in man hours)". The professor, being able to "reproduce" our estimation, accepted our solution.2
-
My university has "Economics and Technic" on its name and it straight up fails on the technical side.
We don't have proper wifi because nobody from the management wants to be responsible for whatever the fuck students do, so they borrow the public (not secure/shitty) wifi from the state for us. Great. We could also use Eduroam, except it only works OUTSIDE of the university for some fujing reason.
Also, our classrooms don't have plugs to charge our notebooks so that's not an option, I guess they just think: "well if they can't use their notebooks they might as well not use any internet at all".
With the heatwave in Europe the servers almost fried bcs management was not sure if they should turn it off or not. We got no server a day.
To top it off, for some reason, every time I access the Intranet from the university it won't login and it literally blocks my dns requests. FANTASTICAL. I even tried restoring my computer and it does the same shit, so I just gave up on it entirely.
TL;DR: My university has shitty IT-Infrastructure and I need to rant about it.
Thank you for sharing ze pain™8 -
So this Just happened, we were in a Meeting when Manager Tells us about "Time Management" and asked us Whatsapp we could Code for him,
I suggested that we use those Chips to track us and the employees, because we always use them to unlock Doors and Stuff,
Another Suggestion from another Person was:
To use Paper...
I was Like "WTF dude Pen and Paper? Didn't you listen?"
We now use Pen and Paper to weite our working Times Down...1 -
A few days ago our server was compromised due to an outdated Jenkins version. The malicious user installed a crypto miner on the server... The same day that it was found I told management that I'm interested in helping out with the server. Since then, nothing happened... No updates, no security measures, no nothing (except for the removed crypto miner and updated Jenkins software)
Oh well only a matter of time before another hack...
Question to some (who work way way way longer than me) med - seniors, should I make a big deal out of this? And keep pressure on it. Or should I just leave it be and wait for the next comprised server? I know devrant is not a Q&A service, but some dev to dev advice is much appreciated.
- incognito1 -
Dear Managers; we do not appreciate how comfortable you are behind a facade of ignorance. Your inaction is directly responsible for the failures of your team; both technical and cultural. You are why we are unhappy, you are why we stop growing, you are why we do not care, you are why we do not innovate; and most important of all, you are why we leave.
-
Project management 101:
1) For a new project, pretend it is similar to a project in currently in development
2) Proudly state that everything can be copied from the older project, so the schedule of the new can be tightened
3) Calculate the new schedule based on the "just copy and paste" effort.
4) Now the new project will be finished before the older project
5) Enjoy the applause from upper management for the successful project that hasn't even begun yet.
No, this does not belong in the joke category.
That's gonna be fun...1 -
Why everyone in management wants to know how i solve the bug if you do not even know what is Bootstrap. All that matter is fucking bug is resolved PERIOD
-
When you and your team invested a lot of their weekend time into the project to meet the clients unrealistic deadline and get not even a simple "thank you" from management...3
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Is it highly likely that, those at high position of management are more greedy of money and posses less ethics and values, than those who actually build the company ie engineers ?
I had seen, it's always the top management who get away from mistakes/ issues but generally it's those who develop the company at core i.e. engineers again, are sidelined or considered responsible for the mistake, when management don't know a shit about anything, or sometimes engineers just follow what management says and management fucks their asses wide even if the management did something wrong.
Who do you think actually build companies/product. Engineers or management or marketers/sales people, who eats fat cheques ??
I remember from silicon valley, when hooli reverse engineered Richards idea and developed their own prototype named Nucleus. Pushed their engineers to beat pipe Piper and when their product turns out to be awfully terrible and extremely fucked like a burned dick with broken balls, they just fired their entire nucleus division5 -
I am preparing for my exam in a software engineering course, where we discuss best practices for programming, testing methodologies and project management.
One of the topics is CMMI, and basically it states that organizations with mature development processes can produce exceptional software even if the teams involved are average.
Do you really think an efficient process can make up for lack of brilliance/ingenuity among the devs?13 -
Out top management has made the decision that our managers must have billable work as well on projects. I feel like winter is coming.4
-
Nothing destroys work flow like management idiots deciding on features and design that they just pulled out of their asses.6
-
I hate reactive management.
It's when your boss instills fake urgency every time a client asks for something close to impossible, or <x> competitor is doing something in a different way he deems the best.
Everything must be dropped, the sprint put on hold, fuck requirements, everybody has to do overtime, why are you not contributing?, why are you going home when you have to?, fuck do I care you have a 1 hour commute - this <y> thing has to be made by sunrise tomorrow or it's a showstopper.
And it's never a showstopper. 90% of the time the feature gets dropped one-two months down the line.1 -
I now have further proof that Android 9's fancy Battery Management is shit:
The compass on my new (flagship) smartphone uses the air pressure sensor and the air pressure at sea level to display your current elevation. The air pressure at sea level is fetched from the weather app. And of course, the weather app has its battery policies set to auto-managed.
Can you guess what happened? "Weather app could not be found" and an elevation of -17m
Because no one thought the battery manager could decide that the weather app should not be launched by other apps. Has no one thought this through? Good thing I figured out what was happening pretty quickly.2 -
A few months back I was talking with our web team and we determined a ticketing software would be useful for clients to submit website updates. Rather than request we buy one, because we constantly get told to stop spending, I spent my free time building it out. We tested it and decided it was ready to present to management.
Management tells us that clients aren't going to use something like this (4 fields and optional file upload). The project sits in a repo untouched for some months.
<Time passes>
Company-wide email come in announcing our brand new ticket system for clients to submit issues about our software. Then a second email comes in to me asking why the web team never thought to do something like that and went on about how useful it would be if we had something similar. I link them to the one I built and my notes from our previous meeting.
Manager who told me clients would never use this: Let's talk about this next week and see if we can get people to use it.
It's been 3 weeks and the meeting has been rescheduled 5 times.1 -
Currently we have zero time for R&D at work, now I have convinced management to let me try and convince them to arrange some time per week/sprint(2 weeks) or month
How should I approache this? And how much time would be optional (enough time for prototyping but still leave more than enough time for the projects we have) ?
Any tips that you have for negotiation/convincing management would be greatly appreciated!! 😁😁3 -
I got assigned to work on a new project a couple of weeks ago. We got the POC code handed off from senior management, since he came up with the idea over the weekend. The project concept is hella exciting, but the dev manager and PO I have to deal with make life unbearable to say the least.
We have only 2 devs (including me) and 1 QA on this supposedly very important project. Of course, management announced the project to the clients already, so now we have to deliver ASAP cause it adds “sizzle”.
The MVP deadline is... no one knows when, either July 30th or September 1st. The MVP requirements are... unknown. I swear if someone saw the list of tasks and issues attached to “MVP” Epic, they would call us nuts trying to fit it all in.
To make things better, each PR requires 2 reviewers, so we end up adding manager as a reviewer just cause we need him to hit that “approve” button. So in attempt to make life easier, we requested to have a third developer. We are getting another developer, but that guy doesn’t know how to unit test a pure function...
Current priorities are... unit testing with coverage of 95% and if we want to refactor code, we have to add area to the list in a Google Doc. As a result, we are not tackling big things like risk of SQL injections not to mention big features like i18n (5-6 languages to support by the way and yes, it’s part of MVP as well as SSR no one knows why). Currently, I spend 2-3 hours a week in calls with the team just to figure out what the hell MVP is, what we have to do and why we have to do it. Last time we spent an hour refining 1 spike and breaking down one story into 3.
Oh, we also don’t have a deployment plan, not even to test environments since DevOps team was not aware of this project at all. Thus, QA cannot create any test suites and have to test everything manually which eats a lot of their time.
This whole project is a big hot mess and I’m considering leaving it all together especially since I’m working on two squads at the same time. I love the project, I love the idea, but management makes it unbearable, so I’m not even motivated to work on that.5 -
Session Management in HTML/PHP be Like:
JUST PUT THAT FUCKING SESSION ID AS HIDDEN INPUT IN EVERY FUCKING FORM!!!
BECAUSE WHY NOT JUST SPAM IT WHY IS THERE NO GOOD FUCKING WAY TO HIDE A SESSION KEY WITHOUT COOKIES5 -
When the PM doesn't stop the customer from requesting a bad feature (in terms of user experience / design)1
-
When one PM hands you off to another PM and neither has any idea about the project I am supposed to be working on...nor do I have access to the Trello boards, the repos, etc...
Happy Monday 🤦♂️ -
Actual question: Tell me which project management software you use and what you hate about it. What do you like about it, if anything?10
-
Anyone else here suffering under a tech lead who instead functions as a business analyst and ignores their dev process in favor of stakeholder demands?
Case in point: our tech lead actually said in our latest retrospective (yes, we're running on Agile) that we should align our schedule to business. So wtf are we even doing Agile sprints for effs sake (this we did not say for fear of losing our jobs) -
I'm sure I speak for a lot of us when I say: LET ME HAVE A LIFE!!!
Management treating us like candy machines, wanting more and more features, learn this, learn that, learn complex material. HEY I'D LIKE TO ENJOY MY TIME AFTER WORK YA KNOW.
etc.4 -
When as JavaScript developer you need to do Java Android. And not the simple kind of tasks... I have 0 knowledge on the whole Android platform.. FML5
-
Ford vs Ferrari shows everything wrong with upper management. They are a bunch egoistic pricks in suits who have nothing better to do than play office politics and take credit for the hard work of people under them.
One of the best movie I have ever seen. Made me wanna smell some oil and grease.1 -
Today, for a feature that doesn't need to be released at all, we had to choose between delivering 2 months later so we could pay the technical debt, or release on time with even more technical debt, and 96% sure this will kill the project.
Guess what?1 -
Since we have premium subscription with gitlab I learned we can now have unlimited repositories. I don't get why all of our source codes(domain components, utils, even 3rd party libs, etc.) are located inside one huge repository.1
-
How accurate is this guys ? I came across this reading comments on youtube. The moral of Star Wars rogue one ^^ and project management at its finest...
3 -
I do everything to have great time management except starting early.
Basically I manage minimizing how late I am extremely well.1 -
Why do people who love programming/developing move to a management role other than for salary reasons? Is it just a feeling that you get at a point in your career?11
-
Cause there's no really safe solution for that right now, finally release my favorite and verifiable secure linux password management tool for the web and as apps for iOS, Android and Windows Phone - including online synchronization, so you can access your passwords anywhere. (Web and Android first, the other platforms later).
At the moment it is still a pure gpg based Linux terminal application.2 -
Today I learnt by hard, that even best management don't want to hear how bad things are.
You're supposed to shut up, and make things shine.
You can't fix few years of sh*t in 3 months? You can't work with people who don't understand basics? You can't fake results to show to the management?
Too bad...13 -
The monotony of begging management for budget to retrofit unit tests which should have been there in the first place is starting to piss me off.
-
Meeting 1:
Devs: so we have founds 3 ways of displaying this info. Which one do you think is the most intuitive / more pretty / more useful?
Management: idk, just let the option choose between these 3
Meeting 2:
Management: the users are getting confused with so many options. Fix it.
😑2 -
Slowly I am strongly considering changing the company. Somehow our management is losing its focus on reality. On the one hand, the management doesn't care one bit about what problems we have, especially when we have issues with other teams, which makes it impossible to finish our (necessary) features. But when the management wants something, everything has to be completed immediately and preferably yesterday.
We work in our team (and in almost the entire development) according to Scrum, so we are organized in sprints. However, our CTO thinks that none of this matters and that the whole planning has to be thrown out just because he wants a small (absolutely stupid) feature.
And then, our supervisor thinks he has to force us to do things that are entirely irrelevant for the team. We wouldn't have any advantage and would just be the henchmen of others.
And then there's a neighboring team that refuses to make any progress and keeps blocking everything. But somehow it's management's favorite team and can simply (unofficially) decide about other teams.
Honestly, I'm pretty pissed off now, and I'm not in the mood for that crap anymore.5 -
Boss complains this morning about having to go to a Cubs game, and even calls it a "First world problem." (outing with management and client).
We're super behind on a lot of things, most of us are busy coding, and he sends us a photo from the game to our Slack channel.
2 -
Here we go, the winter is happening #BecauseItsAlreadyComing
The Fcuking Stereotype of MDFK Projects Deadline was not achieve, everybody starts throwing blame words, the management had their heads burned, aaannd... This is nearly 11pm I'm enjoying my chicken Satay and I don't give a fcuking damn with this situation. #MyCodeMyAdventure
lets have a junkie dinner my fellow devRanters! 😂
3 -
One of my other dev colleagues believe that just because I don't want to work in a particular project and I don't like the decision of management, I'm being negative.
Where the fuck is Logic?1 -
So we're doing this contract work for this other company and the project is just an overcomplicated piece of garbage where they shoved every buzzword technology into it just because. I managed to get the code just about organized and functional on our side of the contract and it was looking up when suddenly the management decides "we had a rough start, lets start over, learning from our mistakes"
So I was thinking "cool, there were a lot of problems with this overcomplicated pre-optimized stack, surely we can only do better".. oh boy how naive I was. See Im not the guy in charge of the infrastructure (unfortunately) and really the project structure across this huge multi service project is a free-for-all kind of management.. so we had a call on friday where they explained how the new structure should be built... 3 new technologies, more micro services and even worse dependency tree later I was contemplating suicide on the spot.
I tried to make this shit usable and efficient and all my fucking work went down the drain in a single day of these fuckers throwing more buzzwords at the problem... I can't even get a new empty project started without browsing our huge 100+ repo project git for which dependency Im still missing to even run it...
I fucking hate this retarded piece of crap project and I hope every "manager" and "developer" with an exception of very few chokes on a cock...2 -
I have been developing this bias in my mind about people with MBA degrees/ Management roles.
Like for example, I can't deal with my managers who has no programming expertise, but they are there just because they have a huge work ex(idk in sitting and playing on phone?) or have an MBA degree.
I feel in a tech company; management, ppt, excel people should be eliminated. I'm not saying all the roles but just a few who have little to no contribution.
When a team works on it's own and delivers and maintains the system. It's these managerial people who take credits. It's these people who get hikes more than necessary.
For years, developers are treated like call center people, like sheeps, they aren't valued, and are highly underpaid!
Do you think MBA people will be jobless if we empower developers to the point where we won't need MBA degree holders with "Time Management" as their core skills written in LinkedIn Profiles?
What makes Managerial roles so special?
Correct me if my bias is wrong.
P.S. This whole rant was about MNC's in India. I can't tell for other countries.2 -
What progress have you made?
Well today we hand crafted ... a new lie about the apps we are writing. Customers should eat this one up.
Good, good.
- Management -
Time management. Maybe it's not really dev related, but I think it's very important. Trying to get better every day.1
-
None of the networking people want to handhold the company VP during the all hands meetings (several thousand people over Webex's high volume broadcast service), so they all fumble around when they get in there.
The company owner rage fired someone in the networking team for screwing up. He has done stupid shit like this all the time.
It's one thing if it was some other time. Right now, firing someone, especially without review or for something so trivial, should be a god damn human rights violation. I've lost total faith in my company's management.2 -
It's been a while since i stopped programming.....
It's been so busy with all the school work/assignments/ and the most important part is that school ends at 10pm, arrive home at 11pm, prepare for tomorrow school stuff, sleep at 2am, wake up at 7am next morning, and again ends at 10pm 5 days a week...
It is exhausting, but I am getting used to this routine.
Studying my own programming skills or working on a side project? Not sure when to do it... The only way to continue studying is at breaks at school, or sleep less and study....
But it is impossible....
I have some great projects that are waiting to go out to the world, to list a few:
- cloud gaming
- cloud storage with live streaming
- complete school schedule management
- home automation framework in dotnet
- deepfakes and ai image generation algorithm (~18 months of training till now)
- game cheat engine (20GB total omfg ^^)
- and more
and I don't have time to finish it. lol
I think it will see the bright world after 3 years of high school... By then, my projects will be ancient, probably....
TIme is really short.
24 hours equally, but feels like 8 hours a day....
Should I abandon the project rn and focus on studying? (probably should)
or should i sell the project or open source it?
Also, how do you manage your time between work(study) and side projects (especially big ones)?4 -
What's the most inane excuse you heard for either a developer or management to not write tests?
I have endured these:
Management:
1) The project is fire and forget. It won't need tests.
2) It's a prototype. It won't go live.
3) Writing tests takes longer than without writing tests. You know how to code, don't you?
Developer:
1) I didn't have the time.
2) It was such a trivial method.
3) It's not mockable.5 -
I made a point to the management that people are unnecessarily reworking things and throwing away. And all products should have a product owner and they should give requirements. So the management called the same guy(who fucking does pointless rewrites in the name of code cleanup) and said come up with a solution. The guy came with a solution of Agile + Jira and a whole fucking process behind it. So guess what, we are having pointless meetings when we can just finish and ship deliverables.
The management successfully founded an efficient way to effectively waste time. Kuddos.4 -
Had a four hour retro/review yesterday. Plus a mini demo I had to put together. Three hour sprint planning session today.
And they still wanted me to go to some "company values" meeting tomorrow, aside from the weekly call I have to report progress. Fuck that shit.
I feel like I got nothing done this week. Monday and Tuesday were fine for the most part, but since it's been just complete idling.
I mean, I love my company, great coworkers, good management, and just all around great experience. But man, it gets frustrating when you lose so much development time... I wanted to sprinkle in some extra goodies for the next sprint, but it doesn't look like that's gonna happen.2 -
Our company is remote-controlled by one or two customer companies. Our CTO is remote-controlled by them also. And if that wasn't enough it feels like he has no competence in the development of normal software (not customer projects).
Officially the management in our company doesn't have the right to give direct orders to the development teams. In reality, they just ignore this rule and play dictator.
It feels that the management thinks that all developers in the company are just asses and idiots who screw up everything.3 -
I am a programming student and last 1 year i have sat with my own programming project of a management system for monitoring 500+ clientes, has now been recognized for my work and has now been giving a new major programming project for a new management system for phones 😁3
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Starting the day with Management complaining about budget and how R&D spends a lot. I start talking about the form to get a machine to a developer, that requires detailed information about the specs, proper justification, provide price comparison, fields of text which I know their departments will not check or fully comprehend BUT administration type departments always get the latest MacBook when their work literally involves little more than read emails, PDFs, write word documents and not high demanding software tools. R&D colleague suggests that a Raspberry pi would suffice for what administration personal needs out of a PC.
Management didn't comment.2 -
First, I need you guys to read this article:
https://goo.gl/LHGVw1
Just from reading the company’s write up, they are shit. They put all the weight on the guy's shoulders. So much so that he had to put in 12x7 weeks for 2 years... One day they tell him that they are gonna scrap his work; when he exploded - and rightfully so - they fired him and built an inferior product. Of course, they praised themselves for productivity being much higher than when he was there.
At the end of the day, they were shit because they never cared about his mental health. They just pilled more and more on him, because he was the rock star. He eventually broke psychologically. They don't care about all the personal sacrifices he had to make to give them those 12X7 weeks.
Worst of all, they spun it as him being the asshole - which will make it harder for him to get another job - when it was their shit management that broke him psychologically.... sigh
They all depended on him, he knew that too. The pressure to not fail was too much.
Bad management can seriously destroy a person8 -
Given a set of projects, twice the amount of work half the amount of time to do them in. We told management we need more time and more developers. Products are being given to the clients with lots of bugs. Management's response: double the QA team size... We almost have more QA members than Dev members. FFS.
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Reviewing code written by a "hands-on software architect" who can't even understand what dependency injection means, so you can guess that there are no unit tests for his code. Really hate our management. They give a job title to people due to seniority, not skill. Really want to speak up to people about this, but unfortunately not in a place to switch jobs atm.
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Do you prefer a non technical manager or a manager that thinks they understand what you are doing?7
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Why didn't a single manager I had worked with bother theirselves with reading "Peopleware" book. Decent managers cannot themselves afford to not read that book.3
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Ahoy der Ranters!
I'm looking for a log management service. My server application has a 90 days rolling policy (with gzip) but I would like to store logs somewhere else before they get deleted (after 90 days).
I've heard of Cloud watch, paper trail, and logz.io
What would you recommend?5 -
You know what's terrifying? When you hear a contracts person say "we already know what we're going to bid, so we don't need engineering inputs."
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Our management just won't get what UX is, they call us User Experience Developers building User Experience applications with User Experience frameworks (meaning, Angular). FFUUUU, I'm a webdeveloper. YOU_DONT_DEVELOP_UX.... Just because angular looks better than the standard Oracle Crap doesn't make it UX. >.>3
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Something weird is happening at my company. Me and my colleague were in a team building a web application (October CMS and angular 8). I just returned from vacation and was absent for the first 2 weeks of dev. Some days in management announced that the project is "on hold", I guess something to do with paperwork, but the dev will continue. I got to work in the project only for 2 days and was shifted (with a colleague) to work on regression tests for some app I have never seen. A week or more has passed and still I have no VPN access to the app. (the app is hosted by some other company) I am bored of doing nothing. I have experienced a pattern of shifting between projects a lot. Still have not been in one from start till the very end. It is annoying. I feel that there is a lack of communication here.
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Remember, you're not just the dev. You're the asset designer, UI designer, UX designer, translater, network assistant, general computer help, and more! What wonders you can work!
Actually, I'm wondering what management actually does other than "making decisions", whatever those could possibly be. We seem to make all the others. F*&#%*! -
3 or 4 weeks ago me and management had a talk about new features in our product...
So we implemented the new features and then we released the app...
Today I got a really long bug report that summarizes into the following sentence -> BUG: Everything works exactly as we talked 4 weeks ago.... And apparently that is bad 😣
Like c'mon dudes if now it is a bug then why the fuck I needed to code that feature?! Time totally wasted for nothing! 😤
Fix My Lighthouse!1 -
this is a repost organization post. each time you are going to post a classical joke, please find it from items below, and write as comment, the number of the repost. and people will give you ++'s to your comments as if you actually reposted the post. also, feel free to make additions to the list. syntax is:
"(n): [repost context]" for a new item (please do not mess with the order)
"-- [n]: [personal comment]" for simulating the repost.
here we go:
(0): the comic strip about rescuing princesses in different languages.
(1): in case of fire git commit, git push, leave the building.
(2): wanna hear a udp joke? i don't care if you get it.
(3): that joke about java devs wearing glasses because they can't c#.
--------------
An example repost:
-- 0: omg princess lol :)))2 -
I can't deal with this stress anymore
I really like working at this company but the stress is getting worse and worse, too many projects going on, deadlines creeping up, micro management through "agile" and many others.
Not sure what to do, I like the people, the projects themselves but I fucking hate the management!
I think I'm gonna have to leave, I might even need a couple months break just to regain my mental power before I get back to work.2 -
Looks like I am beginning my freelance journey.
Usefull Issue Tracker / Project Management tool?
If it's foss and written in python that would be great, I would probably try to extend it with extensions later on.3 -
So happy, a former colleague, now friend, of mine decided to join my project, he has a lot of experience and helped me out a ton in my first professional years to gain knowledge about optimization, performance, architecture and countless more stuff.(--> wk73 best dev teacher I had)
The only downside, in this case very minor downside, is that I now have to go back to something I despise: project management... I need to properly format and transfer all my scribblings and thoughts into a roadmap and a rough specification, so he has a good start into the project.
Overall though I am really looking forward to this collab, since I love to work in a team, especially with such great support. -
If my manager asked for an update only on ONE report on projects, I think he'd be a perfect manager. Right now, I'm having to update FOUR different things for everything I work on: an institutional ticketing system, management's summary view page for the same ticketing system, weekly report, and my personal logging journal.
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F-word with three consecutive U-letters! SQL Management Studio just crashed, just when I had finished a nice script, that I hadn't of course saved yet. I must say SQL Management Studio hardly ever crashes, can't even remember the last time that happened before this. Wonder if it has anything to do with the plugin SQL Complete that I installed just recently? SQL Complete also has the annoying habit of displaying a popup every time SQL Management Studio is started, with a delay just long enough so you have already got started with something when you're interrupted by that popup. No, I'm not going to upgrade a piece of software that behaves maliciously!15
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The overall theme of my job is being fast. Unfortunately our managers don't understand that if you are efficient you become fast as a result. So all we are doing is basically a lot of quick occupational therapy and blowing hot air.2
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Email arrives, contains a list of deadlines AND descriptions of new features and changes to portal... all news to me, Really?! All for next month you say? Didn't we just assign a different project to the team? Did we replace the 50% who leave this week yet? no.... Well done project management... Slow clap for you guys.... It's so idiotic I'm not even mad...
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Hey guys, I'm new to a dev management role. One of my responsibilities is to write tasks and do code reviews for the team. I keep getting issues in code due to the lack of contextual understanding of the codebase. How much detail should I include in a task? Should I expect my team to understand the context of the task/codebase?3
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My team works for a company in another country(Some hours of difference) and we work together we that company's team to develop their product. In the last couple of weeks I've been working with a senior developer of that company that everybody on my team said was a pain in the ass to working with. I didn't want to judge the guy just by others experiences, but man they were right. We're talking about a guy that has years of experience. However he is incapable of retaining any kind of simple business logic or process and leaves incomplete code everywhere (not tested properly and buggy). With the diference in hours, every morning I when I look at the hand off messages and there are multiple questions that he should know better than me(has more time in the project than me) and a lot of code that I have to fix! This guy can't complete simple tasks that could be almost copied and pasted from other parts of code. What gets me even more pissed off is that this guy has a better salary than any person in my team and does a lot less and with poorer quality. And to top it off his company management doesn't acknowledge that he is a problem...
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I wonder sometimes is maybe management just like. Forgot that I'm my partner's primary transportation or something. I cannot imagine how else they would have approved putting them on a 4p-1a shift where they are alone and have no other transportation options save for me, their roommate who has to be up at 6a M-F, or walking home. But like it's 1a and actually freezing outside, so...
I dunno, maybe it's the sleep-deprivation, but it seems to me like they didn't think very hard about this, despite being made well aware a month or better in advance, and clearly understanding it then since HR had me take them for their drug test just before they were hired on because they didn't have another available ride.
But, then too, this is the same management and HR that left my partner without "official" access to clean drinking water or a working bathroom for almost 3 weeks because they delayed getting them a door code, so I'm not sure what I expected, exactly 😒4 -
Need Advice:
My whole life, I have been a sole developer. Most of my project was a single person. I was responsible for the frontend, background, server deployment, and everything else. I liked doing the thing my way.
After working like this for a decade, recently, my company hired a second developer to help me (So I can do the management of other projects.)
The biggest challenged that I am facing right now is the difference between my thinking of a problem or the way to solve problems compared to the other guy.
There are many things that he and I do differently.
I need some advice on how to work in teams. I how to manage things better. -
!dev
My time management skills are abysmal. I am in my senior year in school and a few months back decided to appear for the informatics Olympiad. So now I am reading a book on discrete math, while reading books on algorithms and data structures. I code every day for around two hours. I have my math syllabi in school which is all calculus. My physics syllabi consists of all of EM and Optics along with nuclear physics. I haven’t touched chemistry since the beginning of this year. I try to give a considerable amount of time to math and physics because I f***ing love studying those. But doing that means slacking off on the Olympiad stuff. I am completely overwhelmed. My midterms are two weeks away and I am so unprepared. I am really clueless on how to manage time. -
I was about to implement a new feature (which I will call feature X), but I was not sure which branch feature X should be implemented on. Because of different products, there are a lot og branches around.
I was going to implement feature X on branch A, but that branch was currently not working, and someone was working on fixing it.
I was told by my boss to branch out from branch B as feature X would be merged in there later anyways.
And so I did.
After I am nearly finished with feature X I discover I need feature Y from branch A. Feature Y is not yet on branch B, but is scheduled to be merged in some time soon.
So I can't really finish feature X before that point, and I am told by colleague 1 I should have implemented feature X on branch C, because feature Y is there and branch C will be merged into branch B soon.
However, I found out that this has happened before.
First, colleague 1 was told to implement feature Y on branch A. This is the real implementation, the one I need. After he had spent a week implementing feature Y, he was told by colleague 2 that the feature should be implemented on branch C, which is branched off from branch B (I think). So he had to spend a day or two to move feature Y to branch C, but he still kept feature Y on branch A, because all branches will eventually be merged into branch A.
After a week or so, colleague 3 asks about feature Y and is told that the feature is on branch C. But colleague 3 need the feature on branch D, which is branched off branch B for some weeks ago.
I don't know all the details here, but colleague 3 ends up implementing a version of feature Y on branch D and he is happy.
I don't know how much time was wasted because of wrong information from management, but I have no intentions of wasting more time. I'll wait for the merge of branch C into branch B.
If this rant makes no sense, that's just my reflection of management some times.
I love management.4 -
So. As some of you may remember. I got a new job. However! I didn't end up taking it. They ended up terminating my current boss and gave me his job (and salary to boot).
They then told me to begin rebuilding the department and expanding it, something my old boss was not a fan of.
What tips do you guys have for building and managing a team? I've never ran one before. So I'm looking for advice on a project management platform. We are a C# shop so If it has nice integration into VS all the better.
Thank you and rant on! I am sure I will have some ranting about hiring and junior fuckups soon!2 -
!Rant - web dev prompt
Currently experimenting with time management so figured I'd try setting up both Basecamp and Toggl. It's for a school project and involves a basic CMS (php CRUD etc).
Is it overkill?2 -
I spent last week trying to figure out estimates about how much time we'll spend in this quarter's project - like, 3 days on the schema, 4 days on the API, 5 days on the GUI etc. Why does management think that each part of the project is separate? Oh I forgot, they're management. I wonder how much work I could've done if management wasn't so obsessed in knowing metadata about the project instead of doing the project itself 🤔2
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Hi, my manager is leaving soon. I’ve only been here for short of 2 years and I’ve been promoted once already. It has come time to hire another dev. My director asked me to think about what I want for my career and how to hire the right person. I don’t want to become a manager if that means to stop coding and building stuff. Any advice or experiences you guys have had with this? I’m supposed to have a catchup with my director and he told me to think about it, but I only can think in terms of Problem-Solution. Not in abstract strategic career positioning or team management etc.4
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"All Tech Projects Run Over Budget"
https://medium.com/@team_96861/...
I was on a nice streak of being calm for a while and then this article just dropped today. Fuck management and fuck whichever dumbass wrote this piece of shit.
Is anyone else pissed off at this? It makes it sound like software engineers are slow and never on time, and the main reason for a project's failure is the inability of programmers to meet deadlines. I find this a little sus, especially as it's written by someone in a management position.
I would argue that projects fail because:
1. Management takes the very feasible timeline given to them and throws it out the window, opting to impose impossible deadlines instead, because FUCK your employees right?
2. Clients have requirements that can't be met (I agree w/ this from the article, but not the part about developers not accounting for issues--I always do this and everyone I know does this)
3. Technical Debt arising from when management tells the software engineers to *just do it this way because it's cheaper*
The calculator they made is nice but it's also quoting estimates that I and everyone I've spoken to agree with, so this is clearly not a software engineer problem, it's a fucking management problem. "Budget" = accounting's job.
/rant
That being said, the "take their quote and triple it" part had me dead...1 -
I'm pretty sure remote teams don't work with the remote team doing all the coding and we have the same exact JD and in the same department...*sigh* when management are foreign, they really are afraid of letting the local tech team help out. No wonder we are 3, sorry 2 since a fellow dev left to a better job in Amsterdam
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Exhausted af. Since Sunday been trying to get a decade old social grants payment delphi app that ran on win xp to work; and this is a couple of exes on different client/server machines communicating with cash dispensers, fingerprint readers, receipt printers as well as webcam. Apparently someone is searching archives for the source code which I will have to eventually customise to whatever the fuck "management" wants cause they want to "revive" the system. Ohh and by the way I'm not a delphi dev so now I'll have to learn
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So, I just finished a semester project on Software Project Management, and this was my self analysis and my conclusions, along with my analysis of my team. I think some of you will relate. Hope you enjoy the reading!
My main contributions to the project were helping reviewing the documents syntax, to make sure it was smooth and easy to read with a good english level, working on the systems architecture, coding the application, helping measuring problems within the project and putting people to work by distributing tasks.
I tried to help whenever I could with things that were not assigned to me, even though we are a team, everyone must do what they are assigned for, otherwise disorganization will be installed and everyone will derive from what they are doing to focus on a single thing or point and that would cost us time. I tried to avoid that to see if people could be capable enough of fixing the problems presented to them with the least help possible, making that an example for future use so they don’t always rely on others to get tasks done and to be more independent. Also, helping others figuring out what they were supposed to do helped the team wasting less human resources and consuming less time, which lead to some faster developments on specific tasks. Making the impossible possible was kinda of a weekly routine when the deadline approached because time was short and sometimes tasks were not finished when they should be, so, in a way I helped speedrunning documents to see if they were close to presentable to the client.
As the overall performance, there were highs and lows, where some members worked more than others and that is not fair for everyone because that kept happening again and again, so, my point of view performance wise is that we behaved wrongly when it came down to it. Some of us kept on pushing tasks to others and continuously criticizing over other people’s work without having a logical background to motivate those critiques neither providing solutions to the problems encountered. Well, that couldn’t end well, and it didn’t. It brought our performance down and ended up causing a lot of damage on the project itself. -
Today, an hour left of work, our team was brought to an all-hands meeting. 20 mins later, I learned why our team was so often left out when getting a 3rd dev.
Someone higher up decided to move our train to another part of the state (it's birth place was where it is now). And that same person decided to localize all teams on a train to the same location too... which means my team is getting killed. We have an estimated lifespan of a few months.
...and here I thought moving to an open floor plan was gonna be horrible. The new location is 200 miles north (an hour 30 via the free campus bus). This won't be a fun coming new year. -
Holy shit why does change management have to be such garbage? I've never worked anywhere with a formal change process that felt remotely like it adds value. It seems like it's even WORSE when there's a dedicated change/process team. They just get super edgy and jaded, likely because no one wants to follow their ridiculous requirements, and bitch at people whenever the real world happens and things have to happen "out of band".2
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Trello, one of my latest discoveries and it's quickly becoming one of my most important tool for project management
https://trello.com/ -
You realize you reached the top of your career when you are on top management meeting discussing actual freaking bikeshed! It's not an urban story! Those meeting actually happen! And actually few months later we got a real bikeshed on our parking lot!
Only downside was that there was almost no bikesheding on the bikeshed meeting :-/ -
apparently; indirectly allocating tasks means that it doesn't chew up your bandwidth,
so where is the deliverable? -
Idiots in my team
1) Fullstack : ask's way too many questions.
2) Tech manager - knows nothing about management
3) backend : assumes he know's everything and when asked says he know's nothing -
What are your personal goto identity management providers?
I am currently looking at Firebase and Auth07 -
I know it doesn't really exist in one solution, but I need management software to keep track of customers (crm), projects, products, licensing and contracts, and time keeping. Right now we are using MSCRM (ugh), and old homebrew project/time tracker written in Perl spaghetti (double ugh), email (sigh) and handwritten notes (kill me). Now I suddenly find myself with a budget (somewhat) and the authority to actually fix things. Any ideas would be appreciated.
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Hi guys and gals!
Currently in the search for a good management team for solo freelancing projects. I've used Trello before but am looking for something that maybe tracks time spent on tasks for hourly charge and is more defined to web development/design.
If anyone has any suggestions they would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks in advance! Keep on keeping on!4 -
Tracking/logging hours, how do you do it? Is there some decent software for Linux that does this?
I wanna start tracking my time doing specific tasks, so I'm just wondering what other ppl use, if at all hehe1 -
So my company isn't that fully fledged in development and now I keep seeing deadlines being pushed forward even though we're already fully loaded with tasks...
I kept mentioning that risk management would be handy but only after the recent shifts in progress delays they are like "hey hear my great idea about risk management!" *facepalm*
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