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How to become Android Developer with zero Programming knowledge?
1. Goto "About" option in your Android mobile.
2. Click "Build Number" continuously 5 times.
*tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap*
Congratulations
"You are a Developer"
now :p8 -
Rob :Truth or Dare
Android Dev:Dare
Rob: Uninstall and reinstall your android studio with SDKs @50kbps
Android Dev:Truth2 -
Problems with Android development
1. Android Studio is shitte
2. Android API is shitte
3. Gradle is shitte
4. Emulator is shitte
5. My life is shitte23 -
"Aah, time to make a new Android app"
*starts Android Studio*
AS: "Yo yo yo, before you proceed, update all these 512 things in your SDK"
*creates a new Activity*
AS: "Nuh uh, this shit won't work without this, install it"
*runs app on emulator*
AS: "Hoooold your horses, you need to install this, and this, and update this and this.. oh and also that"
*emulator finally runs, app crashes*
AS: "Ohh, ha ha, oopsies, your Gradle config is also screwed up, change every dependency to the newest version and then update them all"
*config finally done, runs again*
AS: "Umm, I am too lazy to sync it myself, so you must press the nice big button on top to sync it"
"Fuck this"
*closes Android Studio*
AS: "WAAAIT WAIT, before you go, a new Android update just showed up, you must upd..."
*alt+f4*5 -
!Rant Read this somewhere on the internet.
Machine learning is like teenage sex: everyone talks about it, nobody really knows how to do it, everyone thinks everyone else is doing it, so everyone claims they are doing it...4 -
Give a man an Android app and he will thank you for a day. Teach a man how to create Android app and he will curse you for a lifetime.2
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Android Relative layout is similar to Microsoft Word.
Move the button a little bit and earth moves from it's orbit :/8 -
!rant
Last night my girlfriend was extremely happy to make her first Android hello world application.4 -
The newest Android version is used by 1.1% of users... and they are already releasing a newer version.
Will Google ever find a way to fix this? It's fucking pathetic.
31 -
Android development is such an enormous realm. It's simply incredible.
Even after more than 2 years of programming android apps, I can experience a different exception every day!8 -
the official Android documentation says it stands for "What a Terrible Failure"...sure it does Google, sure it does....
1 -
Wow?!? Even removing this crap takes fucking centuries!
I'm already sitting here for 45 minutes. How the fuck is this possible?!!
25 -
Me: Hey, Android, how do I do [abc]?
Android: Oh, that's actually quite easy! All you need is permissi..
Me: Oh, you know what, nevermind. I'd rather fuck an industrial fan.5 -
Me: Yes! I'm finally ready to upload my first Android app to PlayStore, im so excited!!
Google: Make sure to remove all the Log calls from your code.
Me: *Finds out that there's no way Android studio can make it for you*
FUUUUUUUU**10 -
Le Me: well it is the time to go back on that Android project and resume the work.
*Open Android Studio, open the project.
*Wait 10 minutes for build/index
*error: gradle outdated, that is ok, update it.
*error: some library needs update
*error: R not found
*error: internal IDE error.
*Clean Project: PC hangs, Fan go so fast..
Shit ! I even not touched the code !9 -
*INCOMING CALL FROM MY NETWORK PROVIDER*
HI,
I'm calling from *my network provider* and I wanted to check if you would like to port to our network.
This happened 3 times in a day already. And now 4th time.
Me : Look man, I'm already on the same network and I don't need to port.
Guy : You should have told this to me in the beginning. You wasted my time in not doing that.
THIS CUM DRINKING PIECE OF SHIT PUNKASS BITCH MOTHERFUCKER COULDN'T DO A SIMPLE SEARCH ON HIS COMPUTER BEFORE GIVING ME A CALL AND THEN TELLS ME I WASTED HIS TIME.5 -
As an Android developer i keep on looking at every single app as if am going to write it again as code4
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Android 9 moved my clock from the upper right corner to the upper left corner and it makes me uncomfortable11
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So...is Android O really being called Oatmeal Cookie?
That's two sub par "dessert" in a row.
Step up your game Google!
That being said it should be a great update to the OS. 😀28 -
Why don't Android users upgrade to newer phones?
It's a pain supporting users on API level 20 and below. -_-19 -
I asked a junior dev to convert y axis value to dollars and render the same on a chart. This is what he does.
11 -
I wanted an Android phone with latest Oreo version, atleast 4gb RAM, 32gb or more with good processor supporting 4G dual SIM with a resolution of 1440 pixels by 2560 pixels at US$ 100.
Well got for all of it for US$125.
I went to LineageOS site, exported and filtered all supported devices with my relevant device attributes.
Got LeEco LeMax 2 for US125$ on eBay. Installed latest LineageOS 15.1 with Android 8.1.0. got 25gb free space.
Using the phone for last 10 days, flawlessly.
26 -
Kids upset about their phones not getting android N. Back in our days we where upset about losing our crayons.1
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I decided that I wanted to try and write and android app. So here I am, following their "Hello World" tutorial, for good measure, just to find out that using that with the newest SDK 28 produces errors and needs work arounds. Already. In the Hello World example.
Just created the project anew with SDK 27. Cannot be bothered with this and this time.
But seriously. What the fk. Get your shit together Android. <.<' It's not such a strong kickback but it's unecessary trouble nobody needs...29 -
Now that Android P is officially named "Pie",
It makes me wonder what they'd name Android Q?😂
I'm not even aware of any desert that starts with a "Q". 😋22 -
Bought a new android phone and spent an hour:
* uninstalling apps
* disabling automatic updates
* disabling recommendations
* disabling sending anonymous usage data
* disabling notifications
It's like playing hide and seek but without fun4 -
I'm working on a project that integrates your Android phone with your PC. Stuff like file transfer, sending SMS and notification sync. I just had an idea for an awesome feature. Started researching and found that the Android API exposes exactly what I need. Full of motivation I started coding until I realized that the permission I need cannot be granted to third-party apps. Happened the second time. Fml1
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If my UI is bad, the app is shit.
If my functionalities are bad, the app is shit.
Being an android developer requires you to be a fill stack developer by default.8 -
I was recently interviewing a fresh college graduate. According to his resume, he had practically invented machine learning. He eats kaggle datasets for breakfast and was all set to invent a cure for cancer with deep learning. And then, I ask him a simple question. What is 's' in 'https' and he says... "simple".3
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There is an error in almost every file, and yet this seems to work
On other days there is not even a single error and still it cracks.
Android Studio, you need to watch your drinking habits -_-
8 -
$Me: I want to start creating my own android app.
$Me: Let's start by installing android studio
*Goes to download AS*
$AS: That'll be 4gb of your disk space
$Me: well nevermind then
Really? 4gb for a fcking IDE and some build tools?5 -
Android development:
- read the official documentation
- implement the logic in your app using what you learned
- find out that at least one method is always deprecated
- read the updated API and, as always, check out your loyal friend Stack Overflow.2 -
It really annoys me when someone opens an app in Android phones and then leave it open in the background.10
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Me: Let us make this little update to our android app
Google: It looks like you didn't open Android Studio for few days.. Well, ye have to update all the environment.. TATAAA !!!3 -
Seems like everything on android is a "hack" or temporary solution, thanks to google .
Now how the fuck should i create a custom SMS inbox when:
1) i can't run the SMS broadcast reciever in a background service(because background services are deprecated )
2)message SMS reciever in a foreground service ,because this service is not fucking foreground! when the app is cleared from the recents , it shows the service as running, but on recieving the next message , the service dies??wtf?? i think its something related to processes
the app needs to detect a message instantly because some messages are needed to be sent to server the moment they are recieved :/7 -
Does anyone else think Android development is kind of dead?
I mean there is a great article for this (https://medium.com/@steve.yegge/...) but basically, React Native and its' tons of "flavors" have beaten native Android Development so badly, Android isn't anything special anymore - nobody wants to touch Mobile Java in 2018.
Google's response? Make another framework to compete with itself. This is why I said I wasn't joking when I "quit" android dev.16 -
Exhibit B of Google's inability to code:
One of the most starred Android repositories on Github adds rounded corners to ImageView. That's it.
Sometimes you really wonder what Google's engineers are doing :P
3 -
Working on a damn old Android app's source code so it's usable in more recent versions (back when 2.2 Froyo was new). So much has changed in the Android SDK...1
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Its time fooooooooooor:
Good spend 8 hours of thinking where the fuck did it go wrong while compiling Android.
Idk but i always say to myself that maybe this time it will be different.
Im always wrong.
But maybe it will be different this time.
I hope for no Error and just clean build.
Ahhhh lets do it. Cant let users wait any longer.
And yes this is one of those Haxk20 Android angry rants.5 -
Just got myself an iPhone se. Was proud android fan for 4 years.
No hate, but android apps really feel like cheap knock-offs.
I'm never coming back.24 -
Deleting 3 of the 4 Android sdk folders. Why not update one instead. Getting another 90GB of space back which is good for me.
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Two months of meaningless meetings and calls to assess "requirements" and three months worth of actual development work crammed into 3 weeks. Fuck this corporate bs. Agile my ass.
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FUCK THE NS (Dutch train company)!
Because of this storm were having, all trains in the entire country are cancelled. So now I'm stranded in some LITTLE SHITHOLE STATION and I already have been waiting for more than an hour. They expect that trains will start up again IN 2 HOURS!
So now I will probably miss the assessment for my programming test for my study.
FUCK ME!!!11 -
No way. I hope this is a joke...else its not helping building up trust in their competence (Australian vpn provider)
2 -
You can now group projects in Android Studio and even add icon to them.
Right Click on Project -> New Project Group
Right Click on the Project -> Move to Group
3 -
Xamarin vs Android Studio?
Pros and Cons?
Plan to get into Android Development in my holidays. I am very experienced with C# decent understanding of Java. Which one should I go for?5 -
I just started learning to develop for Android for now this rocks! I love it! Only reading the manual and making a dummy, but this is so much fun!!!
Let's see what I'll think about this once the project is over.5 -
This android app is almost done, little bits remaining but I'm so flipping bored of it that I just don't feel like working on it for another minute. I just want to do the other app. But I must complete this one before going to the next. Must.3
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Last night I looked at an Android app.
Going to put it bluntly, I don't like java much.
But Android takes it to a whole new level.
I was talking to our (SlimRoms) framework dev about how the database transactions used to take 400ms, and it was cut down to 10ms by, changing to xml with some kind of a reflector (so xml would be saved in the background).
This is atrocious. As a web developer, I live in a world where you can do thousands of transactions in that time (albeit on faster hardware).
So how is it that all of the abstractions in Android add up to a single read/insertion in Android (and I'm talking about an app written by Google) takes 400ms?
Every time I go in that channel to talk to them, I find something screwed up. Gah.4 -
Compass readings on Android phone might get messed up when iPhone gets close to it.
I have azimuth showing in my app, we wanted to check if it's working and we put an Android phone on the table and iPhone with compass app running. Android showed 20 degrees less. Colleague picked up iPhone and azimuth on Android changed by 20 degrees :D1 -
First time trying Android development.
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude, why is Gradle like that. (Might be my fault since I'm fairly new)1 -
Part rant, part a question. Im working with a colleague on an android app. The guy uses a library for everything that he cant solve on the first try. Need rounded corners? Get a random library from github. Settle a dispute. Am i wrong for trying to avoid using libraries unless i have to or is he?3
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Anyone know the reason why Google removed the Android SDK from the Android Studio Installer? It's making me work harder in setting it up :/5
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This morning, I decided I'm gonna do some Android development. I opened Android Studio (closing 2 Firefox windows to reclaim enough RAM), launched the Android Emulator and then proceeded with my coding.
Since, I've almost finished a prototype app, translated a good 100 strings, had lunch, updated 2 server and THE EMULATOR IS STILL BOOTING!
My Android dev friend tells me this "just happens sometimes". WHAT?!?
I'm genuinely starting to think that good software doesn't exist anymore... -
Spent 10 minutes investigating why I can't hit a certain breakpoint. Find out I put it on a comment by mistake.
Fuck Android Studio 😡9 -
Added an If/Else to the start of my Android app to ask for feedback. After writing the else I removed unneeded spacing. Then I ran the app... none of the action listeners worked. Turns out I accidentally deleted the closing bracket for else and when I said yes to feedback it never executes the reset of onCreate lol. Took a while to track down that mistake.
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FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP OVERUSING STYLES.XML IN ANDROID.
It is NOT A GOOD IDEA to create a new style for each and every layout and then RANDOMLY reuse those styles in RANDOM places.
Grep is working around the clock to solve this fucking hot mess you've made.
FFS1 -
Android studio's pro tip:
1)While installing it for the first time, just edit idea.properties(open it in notepad,its a text file with instructions already there) and change the system and caches directory to your custom defined directory with space > 8gb before installing
(Yeah that's the amount of cache generated when you have 5 projects open in parallel and when its being created in your root folder, your system hangs{personal observations, can't assure})
2) similarly click on "set custom location" and don't go with the "set recommended location" when asked where to install android studio's sdk. -
Can anyone point me to Android tutorials/resources using Kotlin? ( I don't know Java... Coming from iOS background)5
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I was working on an android project this morning.I started android studio.
I went and made a cup of coffee and had it,came back still gradle was building -
Working on my first Android app. 🤔🤷🏾♂️
I've heard mixed reviews about building Android apps. I've used Xcode to build apps before, I'm sure it's the same lol 😂20 -
Hard day because flashing of my android failed yesterday night and haven't time the whole day to fix it but it was a very productive day at the office ;)3
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dear Android devs, how many of you work in a Team of more Android devs? And are you more productive in a Team than being solo ?12
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Android stu. make you feel you're not up to date anymore with all the frequent download component.
4 -
FUCK YOUUUU media creation tool! Should have created a bootable stick, but NO, it does not just throw an error and leave my stick without any partition anymore, it even JUST THROWS AWAY the downloaded file...couln't have saved it as iso, no?!
Jeez, after taking over an hour for downloading5 -
I really miss the android Gingerbread of my Samsung galaxy Y phone.
I still wish to have a plain and simple device for myself. -
Figured out a heisenbug in the app that my coworker (a rockstar 10X dev who I look upto to) couldn't pinpoint at. And then we both sat together and fixed it :)
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Finally managed to build my apk without Android Studio or Gradle. That was pretty fucking annoying to do, but now I've got a build.sh and it's cool…1
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I still remember when I installed Android SDK for the first time. A friend told me that it was huge and I innocently assumed it was 5 or 10 gb at most.
So I let it install before going to sleep. Next morning I woke up and had the biggest gasp I ever had in my life.2 -
Just enrolled my Nexus 5x in the Android O beta.
I am very impressed so far with the differences between N and O
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I cannot find an open source basic note taking app for Android. I don't want syncing to other devices, etc. Any suggestions? Otherwise I'm just going to start writing my own...4
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I don't have an ios device (and hope I'll never have to :p) but I hear people saying that apps never crash on it.
Is this true? And if so, how is this achieved:
Forcing devs to pay extra attention to this or some system mechanics/structure or...?
Although i think i already saw things crashing somewhere...4 -
Definitely Android 8.0 is neat.
And it's faster.
I think Android has developed a lot.
Isn't that right?1 -
Google decided to deprecate the ProgressDialog class in Android O (26). Now I have to deal with all those deprecation messages in Android Studio!
From the docs: "ProgressDialog is a modal dialog, which prevents the user from interacting with the app. Instead of using this class, you should use a progress indicator like ProgressBar, which can be embedded in your app's UI. Alternatively, you can use a notification to inform the user of the task's progress."
They also bugged the Toolbar! Nice.3 -
Hi, I need some advice about android app development. I am a front end web developer and I want to get into android development. I have created a simple restaurant app using phonegap and knockoutjs but I didn't like the performance. Can you recommend how should I get into android development? Nativescript and ionic also lack performance as far as I have researched. Any help is appreciated.13
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How hard is it to build an Android app? It's going to have features such as logging in, register, feed, account pages, posting, and private messaging. I'm guessing it'll be tedious but building a simple app is that easy? I don't even know how to make it go to another page from the home page.6
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Hello my fellow Android nerds! Spent the last few hours coming up with this...
Surely there is a better/easier way?
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What would you recommend using for developing non-native Android apps. Looking for something well documented. Share your thoughts please.10
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I'm pretty sure the fifth circle of hell is full with developers that had to justify TextViews in Android
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Should I be bothered if I have added 200 lines of badly written code to my Android project (which had readable, organized code before) to make it almost unreadable? BTW the app's memory usage is still low like before.3
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Question for you guys.
I have an Android app in which you can track when and how much you have worked, etc., especially aimed at (food) delivery drivers. I know those kind of apps already exist, it's a hobby project :). But I have no idea what to call it.
Any suggestions?3 -
What are the languages that can be used to develop an Android application? and also which is the easiest one apart from java?8
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Has anyone heard of anbox? It's something that they say could run android apps on Ubuntu. Is it worth using? Or am I better off with an android vm? If vm which android version do you people recommend?3
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I want to try some Android Development. I already have basic understanding of both C# and Java. C# even a little bit more. But the language is not the problem.
I just can not decide wether I should use Xamarin or do native development using Android Studio.
What would you suggest me, guys? :-)7 -
What is wrong with Android Studio it used to be better just the sheer number of updates and the gradle build oh the gradle build5
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Any suggestion for an alternative android device emulator, to the Android Studio one?
I've got an AMD cpu, that make the AVD run very slow 😞9 -
Anyone using a newish Android One phone right now who'd care to comment on the experience?
How are the updates? Stock Android work well?11 -
Including critical build dependencies inside Android Studio.app instead of in a public repo... why?
2 -
!android_code
Hey I am getting plb in tabbed activity application in android..
Let me know how to code separately for each and every tab within same activity?? -
Guys I am looking to get my "feet wet" in Android Apps. Can you maybe drop a comment on any suggestions... Like IDE to use or any advise you have thnx.8
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No matter what brands nor expensive your Android Phone, it still sucks if it has no Pure Android OS in it
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Lack of free resources for learning Kotlin for Android held me back a little. But I gotta continue.2
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will ever firebase replace java in android dev? I'm a web dev wanted to hear about it from android guys4
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Guys I wanna do android dev. Don't wanna make it my mainstream but need it for some projects. So which is an easy way to develop mobile apps? I dont wanna do android studio. Maybe a JS framework.5
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!rant
anyone knows how to track how often a button is clicked on android ? any analytics platform to recommend?2 -
I told them I can do everything from front end, back end, to iOS and mac app, just not Android. I don't like Android. Now they are assigning Android tasks to me, I am working like shit and very unhappy.
Am I not professional or is this ok?2 -
What's the best way to learn how to develop android code as I would like to but have no idea where to start?1
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Hey everyone, what do you use for Android development, Android Studio or cry till you are over it?1
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It is just me or anybody thinks that dynamic content creation in Android is difficult than other platforms?
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Android FragmentStatePagerAdapter has an overridable method "getPageTitle" this would be great if the adapter had app context or returned an @StringRes int! Don't half bake in stuff!
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What's a good inexpensive android phone for development. Something 14 year olds could use without breaking6
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Fucking android...
Spent my whole day trying to tint (i.e. alter the image color) some svg with a PictureDrawable in an ImageView.
Went android underground, thought it had something to do with LAYER_TYPE_SOFTWARE (since this was required to render the underlying svg), tried my way through ColorFilters and ColorStateLists...
8 hours later I discovered that apparently YOU CANNOT TINT a PICTUREDRAWABLE - this only works with BitmapDrawable. *argh*
And not a word of mention in the fucking documentation *tit*1
“Linting” and “Cleaning” my project’s code while playing monster hunter stories,
I clocked my first... [read more]