Customer sends an email complaining about his WordPress website getting a score of 2 out of 100 on Google PageSpeed Insights. I open their website, a video is being used as wallpaper. I open their PageSpeed Insights report, and it says reduce payload to less than 100MB.

Can I go kill myself now?

Delete video, re-run test.

Send email :"problem fixed"

@C0D4 Not my design. I would think twice before touching someone else's work

@irene Only if customer stupidity was a valid defence... Maybe I could use "Mercy killing" as defence strategy

I want your job 🥺

@toriyuno You can have it on December 5th, this year

@irene if only we would get payments after killing them. What a wonderful world would it be without customers.

@aviophile A world in which we could play Solitaire 24/7/365

@norman70688 True but not my website. I'm more than happy to lose this client to GoDaddy

@FuckJava 🤔 fine.
Remove video - run tests - put video back 🤷‍♂️

@C0D4 Sounds like a scene from Tom & Jerry

Ok first problem is it is a WordPress site. WordPress was developed for people with no coding skills it is not development. So you will be very limited as to what you can do with it.

Second problem you say "customer" but you are not taking any ownership over their site. You say don't want to touch" other people's work"

WTF do they pay you for.

This is what you do.
You tell them that WordPress is crap and then you rewrite the thing from scratch using genuine web development tools like. HTML5 CSS JavaScript PHP.

Problem solved

@S-falken for e.g. hosting companies, it's normal not to take responsibility over the content of customers' websites.

Plus that the rewrite would require the customer to actually pay money for it, which he won't do.

@S-falken Wordpress is great for the niche it was created for.

It’s just that the barrier to entry is so low, you have grandma point clicking together a website in 10 min with a 100mb cat video background. I would argue Wordpress is so good, it enables people like grandma to build sites that gives 80% of whatever fancy site you can build. Grandma doesn’t even know what a “MB” is. Grandma has an AOL email address. Grandma types in ALLCAPS.

@fast-nop. Sorry didn't have the perspective of knowing that you are the hosting company. I thought you were their web developer.

Well if he won't pay for a web developer then it really is his problem.

You could send him links to w3-schools😅

@S-falken I'm not the OP, but if the OP is happy to let this customer change to GoDaddy, this suggests that GoDaddy is a competitor, which suggests that he's in a hosting company.

And people who change to GoDaddy won't pay for anything of quality. ^^

@aviophile there's a job for that, it's called hitman 🙃

@toriyuno wait there's genuine people that still use AOL? I've literally blacklisted the domain on my mailers the other day because I'm only getting spam from it 😅

@Condor yup. Remember AOL mail was like gmail back then. The ALL CAPS typing is a thing you see some old folks doing as well.

Ignoring the fact that video wallpapers are usually the worst (I've seen a few nice, understated, slow movement ones that look nice or fit the theme), why must it be video? Can a gov not work? Or css animations even If it's somewhat simple? A video is just a terrible idea.

@S-falken Only if they pay for it. They came to us for hosting, not to design their website

@toriyuno I have an AOL email address. WHAT IS CAPS?

@Condor You just sound like Trump. Build the wall!

@FuckJava XD! Maybe in a sense - anything from AOL goes straight into spam now. FWIW, I haven't blocked it outright though :P