I totally agree that I have ticked the above box!

Meteors always land in craters.

Patience, when I'm dealing with junior's spaghetti code.

Found this in my programmer's code. Can I claim temporary insanity when they find his corpse?

I am Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be 'Sir.' Do you maggots understand that?

Thou shalt not talk while I'm pooping.

-- New Commandment after the floor Karen confronted one of our colleagues about her talking on the phone while washing her hands.

I owe the Tax Man around $600. I could pay it in installments without interest, so wrote a small program to transfer $0.69 every day into their coffer.

Java developers coding in C

The fact that there is such a thing...

Listen, before you talk...

Apparently Microsoft has invented a time-machine!

Me, myself and I. Dream team

Very true!

Notepad. Doesn't interfere with what you're doing

There comes a time, when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. Then you accept it or you kill yourself, or you stop looking into mirrors.

I perfected the art of tying a noose

To the kid at Google who thought (s)he is a smart ass:

Fuck You! I know what I am doing.

I rejected a 1 year contract offer because of Corona Virus. Their offer was %60 higher than my current package but Australia is entering a recession and I had my doubts about being able to line up a new job next April because of it... Am I too paranoid?

That's why I hate front-end development

Looks like Plague Inc.

https://edition.cnn.com/interactive...

Everyone's playing Plague Inc.

HR manager of a company I had applied for called me using her mobile phone. Is it me, or is it unprofessional? I never ever use my mobile phone to call a customer. I am thinking about withdrawing the application based solely on this. Any suggestions?

My intern found this... I'm glad he knows it's the truth

ATT: Stinking maggot who's trying to break into my website!

There are no users on my website. Not even an administrator. wp_admin is empty. Best of luck!

Started sending my resume to a few select companies. My job is secure (for the moment at least) but I cannot work with someone who is anti-vaccination, believes men and dinosaurs coexisted and International Space Station is out there to meet and greet his Lord...

Wish me luck

Did my first solo yesterday :D

Not long till I can hang the keyboard and fly for a living

https://youtube.com/watch/...

NOP
NOP
NOP
RET

Changing professions...

I thought maybe it's time to change my Services NSW password, and chose =onWl?$2w/bxJ"UU as my new password...

I guess there's no escaping it. Aussies are dumb

Christopher Columbus didn't ask for directions, and neither do I.