I've handed my resignation and given notice 45 days ago, and my boss still doesn't believe me. It will be quite interesting to see how he reacts on my last day.

I tell myself I'm in second half of my life and there isn't much left till I'm free

When JMP FFFF:0 worked

One of our partners sent me a Key Injection Tool to inject encryption keys into a PINPAD with. Looks like they were short on developers and had to hire Python typists who have made a mess of a simple AES encryption/decryption. When do these companies learn that writing a security related software in Python is not really secure? I had to read the rubbish in Python and read it from scratch in C++ to get it to work, and am now contemplating whether to provide that company with my version of their Key Injection Tool or not...

Use your brain

ALT, F, N

Try watch Battlefield Earth.

I totally agree that I have ticked the above box!

Meteors always land in craters.

Patience, when I'm dealing with junior's spaghetti code.

Found this in my programmer's code. Can I claim temporary insanity when they find his corpse?

I am Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be 'Sir.' Do you maggots understand that?

Thou shalt not talk while I'm pooping.

-- New Commandment after the floor Karen confronted one of our colleagues about her talking on the phone while washing her hands.

I owe the Tax Man around $600. I could pay it in installments without interest, so wrote a small program to transfer $0.69 every day into their coffer.

Java developers coding in C

The fact that there is such a thing...

Listen, before you talk...

Apparently Microsoft has invented a time-machine!

Me, myself and I. Dream team

Very true!

Notepad. Doesn't interfere with what you're doing

There comes a time, when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. Then you accept it or you kill yourself, or you stop looking into mirrors.

I perfected the art of tying a noose

To the kid at Google who thought (s)he is a smart ass:

Fuck You! I know what I am doing.

I rejected a 1 year contract offer because of Corona Virus. Their offer was %60 higher than my current package but Australia is entering a recession and I had my doubts about being able to line up a new job next April because of it... Am I too paranoid?

That's why I hate front-end development

Looks like Plague Inc.

https://edition.cnn.com/interactive...

Everyone's playing Plague Inc.

HR manager of a company I had applied for called me using her mobile phone. Is it me, or is it unprofessional? I never ever use my mobile phone to call a customer. I am thinking about withdrawing the application based solely on this. Any suggestions?

My intern found this... I'm glad he knows it's the truth