7
rajj
5y

Soooo
I'm a fresh out-of-college CS grad (in his early twenties) working at a small scale startup and the people in my Engineering team are at least 10 years elder to me. (this is my first job out of school -- ignoring the internships and such)
I have a tough time making friends with them and an even tougher time making conversation which I think is hurting my communication skills in a harmful way.
Don't get me wrong.. because they are so highly experienced engineers, I get to learn a lot more a lot faster and I love that part but I just feel like I don't laugh or talk enough at my office (otherwise, people have to tell me to shut up).
I mean when everyone is not plugged in with headphones and cranking the keyboards, they talk about their wives, kids, and stuff that I have no relation to. Like I know a lot about childbirth and car seats but except being shocked etc., I often don't have much to add to the conversation.
Also, on top of this, after looking at the sorry condition of people throughout my undergrad and my internships, I had decided to not get into the habit of drinking coffee. So, when they go on coffee breaks etc. they don't ask me if I want to come along and the times that I kind of forced myself to come along turned out to be kind of awkward and not something I'd wanna experience again.
What do you recommend? Understand that I absolutely love my job and I love learning so much around such intelligent people but I don't have fun at work. Is this Dev life or am I missing something?
Do you have any recommendations or similar stories of how you overcame this problem?

Comments
  • 0
    Start-ups jobs usually suck the life out of you.
  • 0
    no offense bro, but leave a space between paragraphs next time
  • 1
    I have a great team but most of them are older than me so I hear you. Some subjects are easy to participate in, some impossible.

    In a larger firm you could find people outside your team to hang out with, but I assume it's not an option here.

    You will be their age in some years and you will no longer have this problem. But for now, join them even if you don't drink coffee. Maybe have some other drink? Don't care about the awkwardness when you have nothing to say. There will be conversations you also can participate in.
  • 0
    That's kind of dev life.
    Solitude and coffee and alcohol
  • 0
    You could bypass the coffee thing by using tea, or even fruit tea without caffeine.
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