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Navy story time again.
I was a cadet, 1st year, final exams in """CS""". Our """professor""" was handing out the exam sheets, when I told him that one of the questions couldn't be answered by what he had taught. He had supposedly taught us C++ (I would insult every C++ tutorial, however shitty, if I called his class introductory or even elemental).
To give you a better idea of the situation, I'll only say this: one of the questions was "Name three brands of antivirus software."
I. SHIT. YOU. NOT.
This was supposed to be a Naval Academy that trained officers, by the way. Anyway, the question at hand was a program that must use recursion to solve a particular problem. I had been studying programming since high school, so I was not bothered by it, but everyone else was. Anyway...
Once I told him that, he threw a fucking fit. He screamed (as our overseeing officer watched in confusion) that we weren't paying attention, that we were just playing around and watching porn sites (BTW I discovered after that, that most porn videos were on the campus server, in write-protected folders that no student had permission to write, but professors and administrators did. Curious... but my ITSec misdeeds are for another day). Anyway, I got so angry at that idiot, I started writing (yes, programming on paper, if you whine about your IDE/text editor, think about that) the program. Until I found out that I didn't know WTF I was writing. The time was up, however, and I had to give my paper. To this day I have no idea what I wrote and what it did (if anything).
Got perfect score. Only one in class.

Comments
  • 15
    Written exams are more common than you think.

    I had a few last year, but it was also the intro class, so everything was a few lines that did simple tasks.

    But I hope I don't have an arrogant asshole like this because when I'm pissed off, my mind goes blank for about 15 minutes and then all I can think about is whatever pissed me off.
  • 16
    @Stuxnet Arrogant asshole is one thing, IGNORANT arrogant asshole is two orders of magnitude above, believe me. That guy often complained that we had "too modern" computers (that run Windows 2k) and he preferred MS-DOS. Just the thought of that idiot having the job of a CS professor in a naval academy makes me wonder what means and strings he pulled to get there. Anyway, I had some fun with his computer at a later year :) we are talking serious security!

    I need a smoke right now, just thinking of that incident raises my blood pressure.
  • 6
    I'm addicted to your Navy rants.
  • 3
    @cst1992 I second this statement
  • 2
    @cst1992 @Stuxnet lets make it three

    I a certain way, these rants remind me to some rants that an old family friend had when he was in the army... They were fun as hell LOL

    (As a sample: at one time, when doing some stuff in the middle of nowhere, he was chased for a couple of angry goats because some kind of misunderstanding (go figure) and all of his companions were laughing and didn't helped him at all)
  • 5
    Reminds me of a computer I once owned, the story goes that it was designed to be used on submarines.

    Only somewhere along the way, someone made a sizing error and it wouldn't fit anymore through the hatch.

    So they had to cut a hole in the side of each sub they wanted to install it into, to get it onboard.

    I'm reminded of another state place that wanted new elevators, only they measured them in inches, and ordered them in cm..

    I did point this out at the time in a big wig meeting, but management said they had the issue covered and not to worry about someone making such a mistake.

    Probably explains why some countries lose wars !
  • 3
    @Nanos Holes and sub in the same sentence makes me nervous.

    How, how could they have done that elevator thing? I guess they wanted elevators and got back dumbwaiters :P
  • 4
    Well during my 300 days in the military some of my friends came up with the concept of U-Booten. (submarineing; idk) The idea is that whenever there is work to do, a lot of people would just vanish/hide till there is nothing more to do. Leaving the work to others. This was easier done than said because one could just hop in a car and noone would look for you till the day is over. The whole thing wasnt really an issue to our officers/seargents because they rarely counted how many people were present. It all ended with me handing out submarine ribbons to everyone.
  • 0
    As for brands of antivirus software, it's not that bad...
    In a certification course for one tool, course was called "Automation", one of the questions during the test was "what parts of the GUI can be customised?" (options: logo, background, both, none)... 😱
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