11
matwx
6y

I started off in a MNC company as a junior developer. I entered with candy glasses.
I didn't expect to win the lottery. Of getting abuse by superior.

I stayed for a year, at the project. Constantly being belittled by this team lead. It was awful i enter as a fresh grad. All the new tech were so new and scary at that point.

During my time there, i constantly think that developer is not my stuff.

Ultimately i reach the state of burnout. I reached out to the manager and broke down in his office.

I actually told the manager. "I hate coding"

I remember staying up to 4am just complete a piece of program. To be ready to be push to production the next day. My team lead just come screaming at me saying there is bug.

Upon receiving that message via skype. I broke, tears flow down my eyes.

After which i reach a state of burn out. I start to reach out to external parties for help to get me out of there.

Now i am recovered from the burn out. I am curious of the technology that were utilized in that project. I literally face palm. After understanding the technology it isn't so hard after all. I just didn't gear myself up with the tech.

I still do enjoy working on code.

Comments
  • 2
    @vlatkozelka Thank You! I felt so embrassed. When i meet them during the company annual events. The employees who i met during that period. Would actually bring it up.

    I felt so angry and embrassed.
  • 0
    @vlatkozelka
    Not blaming, just felt embrassed. Just like a bad memory.
  • 0
    @hash-table

    I'm in the sink or swim environment as well. Indeed they chose juniors to mentor. I wasn't one of them. I admit i actually resent.

    My self-esteem fall to the lowest point. To the point i told my manager i hate coding.

    Indeed, it do affects me. Now i am concern with what is the culture or another side. I would try to prevent the incident from re-occuring.
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