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@Demolishun đŸ˜…something aren't worth catching.
I have 2 projects I'm trying to get the business to start again with or throw on the scrap heap and burn, they are beyond unfuxoring. -
@Demolishun I've been a PHP developer for 15 years. Before I say this, just know that I love PHP.
That being said, your statement is false. The reason there are so many shitty PHP developers is because PHP allows you to be a shitty developer.
I'm talking about things like no type declarations, globals everywhere, and no strict enforcement of any standards.
Try writing bad code in C. It's almost impossible. -
While I agree with the initial rant, I'd like to add one more thing:
The php community is spoiled AS FUCK.
There are cases where:
If a task takes more time than the manager/CEO/whoever the shit could hack it up - you are a bad dev and you are going to have a talk with the manager. Why? Because they want results now and the language is capable of them.
I've been in that boat for a long time, we just pushed whatever we wrote, even if it's a total disaster. Why? Because the clients were happy. Then... When we finally adopted a strict policy of code quality - clients became unhappy because X developer could do it 10 times faster in terms of delivery.
So yeah, this is what I hate the most in this community - speed. Developers need time to think and can't push anything they like but... You may get shouted at by incompetent managers -
From what i have seen this is how most of the shitty php code gets born in company enviroment, client wants demo as soon as possible, managers are retards that just see money and think coders saying they need more time to finish it are just being lazy and making shit up, coders create quick improvised solutions, demo gets send to the client, while client is checking it out new project arrives and its same story again which means no time for refactor, clients approves first project and you now have to finish it but because you had no time to refactor you have to build on top of that shitty code you wrote spawning even more shitty code, nothing lasts longer than temporary solution
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@MattSK That's exactly how it goes. People don't get that developers need time to produce results at most levels and usually return with the phrase:
" You are sitting at pc all day, who knows what you are doing? Not to mention that all you do is write text. How hard can it be?! "
And... Everyone is ok with that so we have bullshit code in PROD. -
@Ubbe to be fair man, if one's solution is a success and he can't build on top of that it has to do more with architectural patterns than anything else. Not disagreeing with you, php makes it easy as hell to write unmaintainable clusterfucks. But geezus bro, we got Symfont, cakephp, laravel, lumen...all these frameworks and mkfers will not listen
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@potata this is a common complaint at work. I have seen it in other places as well. Php developers are spoil and spoil clients. Shit gets really dangerous man, it makes them get used to the speed as you very well said.
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@Ubbe outdated versions are common due to lack of budget. Or in my case even the clients are gone for months and they don't care about versions, upgrade or anything else unless they need new features or bug was found. And no, they will not spare a dime on a fucking uograde because the app is working perfectly fine as is...
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@Ubbe well yeah it is. On a naked environment with no versioning or modularity, what about docker or vagrant? Used vagrant to update a rather old Laravel version to a newer one. The entire rewrite took me one week because i was all by myself, but once it was completed it was literally a matter of adding it to the original server. The transition was clean but i call for it upon me being really fucking anal about upgrades. I code with a book open, rewrite with one as well and sure as shit migrate it. Time consuming? Maybe, but i have been through those update nightmares faaar too many times out of my own stupidity
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@kdion4891
This is valid C/C++:
int array[10];
0[array] = 1;
I am working in code bases with lots of terrible global state.
I seear man fucking shit php devs make it hard for people to appreciate the language.
To start, i don't think there is anything wrong with php. As a language I know damn near all of its pitfalls and have successfully deployed huge applications with minimal fuss.
The thing is...this shit seems to happen only when I AM THE MOTHERFUCKER THAT DOES IT
In any other scenario i am constantly cursing the original author under my fucking breath hoping that they choke on their own dicks. Fucking cunts.
Really man, some of the fucking code i have seen. This shit is dangerous as fuck and i can't believe that in 2019 motherfuckers would not have the decency to google for best fucking practices or learn it from a fucking book and shit.
Writing proper php code is not that fucking hard people, every fucking update to the language, every fucking tool that comes out is for the betterment of it.
Guess proper oop or functional paradigms are too complex for some dickheads. Hell, not even top to bottom procedural code.
Fuck me. Good thing is, boss is happy, the entire faculty is happy, the board is happy. Everyone is motherfucking happy.
Dez negroids better remember this shit cuz I just asked for a $20k raise.
I got a raise literally every time i ask for one so this one better make the cut.
Fuck shit php developers man. Y'all don't deserve the language, y'all make the language look bad, y'all make the community look bad.
Fuck you, die and eat a dick. Do all that shit in whatever order you prefer.
rant
fuck these dudes