Woo, rant time.

I've recently changed jobs to a new company due to a number of factors at my old job. I didn't tell my old boss (let's call him X) my expected salary, nor did I tell him which company I was going to.

However, I've been informed by someone that still works there that X has been discussing my new wage in front of everyone; he was telling everyone that I'm going to lose money by moving job and that I made a stupid decision.
I didn't leave due to money, it was due to X's inability to take constructive criticism, the constant subtle sexism of the office and just a generally bad overall feeling about the job/office going forward. Yes, I will admit that money did have a minor part in my decision to leave but I didn't verbalise that to anyone in the office, and I made X aware that my departure wasn't to do with money. I left on good terms.

I feel as though it was wrong of X to talk about his opinions on my new job in front of my ex-colleagues and friends. I don't know, maybe this is the norm and I've just been living in a cave before this, or maybe my last boss was just a bit of a douchenugget. Has anyone else had this experience?

I've got to meet up with everyone from my last place tomorrow to properly say goodbye and things.. but I'm not sure how to approach my old boss when leaving drinks are held now. Should I say anything? Should I just act as though I know nothing about it?

What would you guys do in this situation???

  • 16
    I'd tell everyone that I missed them (and exaggerate a bit, if necessary), and tell them that the new place is much nicer, and the pay is definitely better, but the real reason you left was because of X continually being a doucheballoon and lying about things. If X is present, you can say this indirectly by saying "the new management is decent and actually seems trustworthy!" Won't have quite the same effect, but should be close enough. :)

    That makes your coworkers happy, keeps them on good terms with you, offhandedly corrects misinformation, and subtly turns them against the doucheboss -- all without lying!
  • 5
    In this particular case, I’d pull out the old passive aggressive playbook and make sure the team and the douchenozzle knows why you really left
  • 5
    @Root that's a good call. Thanks for your advice. It'll be nice to make that little dig without having to lose my good reference for the future
  • 3
    @Plasticnova Seems like being passive aggressive really is the way to go, thanks :)
  • 3
    @Human626 in the business world it tends to work out better. If it fails though, you could always cut to the chase and just say, “I left to get away from that walking STD called a manager”

    Edit: think I might have a few issues still yet to be worked out myself regarding a previous employer. This felt too good to be anything else lol
  • 3
    @Plasticnova honestly that is the best insult and I love it, it really made me chuckle
  • 4
    Well you left because X is an asshole. And since he is an asshole, of course he misrepresented your reasons for leaving to the team.

    What should he have said? "He/she left because I'm a douchebag"? If he were able to critically review himself, he wouldn't be such an asshole to begin with.

    I agree that something passive-aggressive like @Root suggested is a professional way to deal with it. "Now I have a trustworthy manager who has actual management skills, like what constructive criticism even means" would be quite a blow.
  • 1
    I'm always surprised by people who don't ever reflect on themselves. Like, what are you even so confident about if you have never looked in a mirror?
    Anyhow, welcome to DevRant.
  • 4
    @Lor-inc thanks :) and I quite agree, I think I'm most frustrated by X as he asked me for the reasons I wanted to leave I brought up something that he had said to me that I thought was inappropriate and instead of trying to re-word it he spent a good 10-15mins ranting to me about how his comment was perfectly correct, and that he wouldn't have worded it any other way. For context, I passed a course and his response was - to quote - "Just a pass?!". Now this was said rather aggressively as though I was a massive disappointment. I merely said that I feel as though it could have been handled better, such as, I dont know, "I'm glad you passed". Like dude, I understand that you want me to accomplish higher but this does not impact you in the slightest and you caused me to have a massive frickin' anxiety attack during the final exam.

    Needless to say I didn't attempt to address any further issues in that conversation, I came to the conclusion that he wasn't going to listen to me.
  • 1
    @Lor-inc oof, I kinda went on a 2nd rant in that comment, sorry man
  • 3
    @Human626 reminds me of someone I knew that would present the accomplishments of others as if they intrinsically made him valuable. So when someone would leave he would take it as a personal betrayal, “how dare you make me appear less valuable, I own you”.
  • 2
    @Human626 That just means you're using the app as intended. 🙂 I'm not a big fan of staying on topic or aiming for a specific length/format.
  • 1
    What is your goal?

    I for one like making moves that raise red flags indicating that some things in the company need to be looked at, that things aren't right and these things have actual negative consequences.

    I'd just tell X what was the actual reason. Preferably while others can hear it. There is no need to be rude, but there is no place for sugar-coating either. My goal would be to make my reasons perfectly clear to X and others w/o insulting anyone.

    I'd prefer the others present so that there would be at least a few others who hear what X hears. Over time their would ve a form of pressure for X to make all the required organizational and personal changes so that my case [employee leaving because of X] would not happen again.

    And if you guys have exit interviews w/ hr I'd definitely lay it all out there.

    NB: before stirring things up I'd sit down and evaluate whether it is just me who has a problem or are there others too. I'd have to be sure it's not me who is the problem.

    P.S. I usually do all this while I'm working in a company. I prefer giving them a chance to do things right rather than saying 'you are doing it wrong' and leaving them to cope with it [or ignore it].
  • 0
    actually i do not understand what the problem is. I do not understand why everyone is hiding how much he earns etc. The government wants to know everything about your incomes, even your transactions, and your property and assets, but when we talk about other citizens there we are very secret lovers.

    It is very easy for X to find out these info.

    Also, if he found the way, he is free to has his own opinion about your move.

    Neither way, have a good time in your new position

    Do not take so seriously other opinions and words.
  • 1
    Even if they think you left for the bigger pay, so what?! Don't let things like this bother you too much. People will always find something to talk about.. At my previous job I was nicknamed the nazi/hitler because I wanted to actually work and not suck up to the evil bitch everyone was afraid of.. Others started to avoid my company to not get on the bad side of her..fine with me, didn't hold it against them. Later I left with a bang..sort of.. told my boss he's an idiot..wanted me to do some immoral and illegal things.. I said no and called him crazy for wanting me to do this. Got the 'sorry we have no more work for you' speach the next day.. And they fucked up proper lay off procedure, so they had to correct it or pay the fine.. Got later contacted by several ex coworkers who were all well done, why didn't you fuck em up even more?! Well, that was not my intention, I just wanted to leave the toxic environment.. Do your dirty jobs yourself if you want change... So yeah, good or bad, people will always find something to talk about.. Ignore them, do things that will make you at peace with yourself and don't look back! If this means you have to tell ex coworkers manager is the asshole, fine. Tell them if you think it's worthy..otherwise just try to have a good time with others at the party and ignore the prick.

    P.S. Is your nickname a reference to the Stitch?
  • 1
    @sladuled Wow sounds like you had a shitty experience, yay for leaving crappy workplaces.

    I'm totally over it now and I don't care what they think of me, I think I was probably just pissed that I hadn't even been gone for a week by that point and I was really frustrated with the guy already.

    Also, yes it is :D
  • 1
    @Human626 Yay for the Stitch and you being over it!! (:

    And yes, awesome to leave that job..the best/funny thing is next job I landed is awesome, both work and people..and they actually know ex company cuz we have common customers and those who know ex bosses are 'on my side'.. xD
  • 0
    @sladuled I love it!!
  • 1
    Not speaking for experience but I would at least act normal because it doesn't affect me in any way, shape or form and so I won't waste any of my precious energy on it.
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