AboutI create features from bugs.
Joined devRant on 3/11/2017
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“This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the hang of Thursdays.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
^^ this couldn't come more handy..
It's thursday, my computer didn't auto reboot due to updates (yaaay) but VS decided to kill my keyboard shortcuts nevertheless... :\
Wen't to check, it's actually still there (written) ok..
Me: Why won't you work?!
VS: Not tellin..
Me: Dafaq?! Ok, I'll delete you and reset..
VS: Nope, you won't!
Me: Why don't you allow the same shortcut to be assigned?! Why is nothing getting typed in?!
VS: Dunno, to piss you off maybe?
Me: What's wrong with you?!
!dev, still a rant(ish) thingy..
TLDR: long day, had a brain fart, forgot I was married
Long(er) story: Came home from work, late as usual this week..tired.. talking with my husband about our days..
He was picking up sth from the store and goes on saying what the saleslady said: Your wife will sure like it..
>> mid sentence screaming interruption <<
My mouth: You're married?! WTF?!
My brain: & why is this the first time I hear about thi.. oh..
Mouth: OMG, I'm sooo soooo sorry!!!
I love my husband ♡ but my head is still trying to adjust to the last name change & promotion from boyfriend/partner to husband.. In my defense, he forgets it too sometimes.. but always only the titles, not the other important parts that count!8
Google -> Niantic -> shit
Hate them for biting off more than they can chew, they successfully fucked up two of their games, now they are launching the third one.. Can you just fix the stuff you fucked up before you continue with new stuff?? Okithxbye10
I didn't scream.. just told him to jump off of terrace..
What ticked me?! He was a support guy..slowest mofo ever..
I was in the middle of fixing major fuckup on prod, when our VPN to client disconnected. I rushed over to support to ask if it is 'just' an expired session (which he was in charge of renewing but constantly fucked up) or if there is some other problem, so I know how to proceed..do I need to contact our sysadmins, client's support guys etc..
Was that what I asked you?! // he had an annoying habit of slooooowly talking and explaining unrelated things & personal stuff that bothered him & most of the times he chose the most time sensitive period to drone off..
So I cut him of saying, that others were probably not 'tinkering' with production and that I need this back ASAP, so if he could tell me when the session will be renewed or if there is something else problematic..
He said he will check..I didn't move.. he looked at me insurprise, you want me to check *NOW*?! Yeah, it's urgent.. He proceeded very very veeeery slooooowly, taking the support phone../* he was even eating sandwich during that, so only one hand free, typing one letter at a min */
I was finaly notified that the session expired and that he will fix it soon (meaning in 15-20mins o.O which should not take him more than 5).. and was like 'can I do sth else for you'?! Yeah, do the backflip.. you know the rest..3
OMFG!! My computer rebooted.. after VS is again performing voodoo stuff on my code..can you please fucking stop reformatting everything!? OMG it's driving me crazy, I've already disabled every format option I could find.. you piss me off one more time, I'm switching to np++!!!!6
Best carrier choice: leaving the old company I worked for...
TLDR version: I yelled at owner/director to shove it..got layed off the next day. Never regreted that day!! EVER!!
Long version: I was asked to implement storing of CC numbers (yes, the whole lot) & their matchig CVC numbers..plain text, no encription.. company didn't even fulfilled standards to store last four digits.. so I yelled at the 'big boss' that he is crazy and that I won't do it.. Next day, I got handed a letter that said they have to lay me off due to lack of work and that my position is redundant & no other workplace for me.. Never been happier in my life!!
I wanted to quit for some time, due to crazy stuff they asked me to implement & how!? & toxic personel. I was called Hitler (& am actually proud of this!!) cuz I was work oriented & didn't kiss mrs.Director's ass.. I wasn't slacking like the rest of them did, so of course, I was the bad guy..
Anyhow, fast forward 6 months, got the best job ever & am now here for 5yrs+.10
What's the difference between a wasp and single loose hair?
Apparently none till the wasp stings :/
Yesterday I thought I had a loose hair on my neck.. ok, I shrug it off.. later again the creepy feeling.. shrugs off..
I continue to work, sumberged in code, wanting to find the fucker (bug, not the wasp/hair).. lean in to the monitor... 10 cents away from the screen... Ok, maybe that's it! Feels the hair on my back, near shoulderblades again... shrugging again more violently to get it further down to fall out.. nothing.. ok, got the bug, threw myslef back in the chair with substential force & BAAAAM!!! Motherfucking hair bit me!! O.o
I scream in horror & on top of the lungs (it was late, after work hours so I didn't expect anyone else still at the office) PROKLETA PRASICA (roughly translated to goddamn female swine).. I previously saw some green bug flying around the office and I thought that nasty thing bit me (didn't know they bite soo, much more horror for me).. O.o
Anyhow, I jump up from the computer and see my coworker looking at me all baffled.. I proceed to franticly take of my headphones and hoodie..thinking about wtf should I do now, I cannot get undressed in front of him (not for my sake, bra is the same as top of the bathing suit for me, but still..I don't want anyone suing me for impropper behaviour of undreasing in front of coworkers..), how the fuck should I get to the toilet?! O.o
C: Are you ok?!
M: Um.. sth bit me..wtf?!
C: There was a wasp flying around somewhere some time ago.. are you alergic?!
M: um..not sure, I don't think so..we'll see soon..
I proceed to the WC, to take off tshirt & check/kill off the fucker.. on my way there (walking funny to not press the hair to my body again) I got another surprise, another coworker was working late..
C2: Are you ok?! O.o
M: yeah, sth bit me, probably a wasp..
Ok, finally on the loo..ok, do not lock self in in case it escapes and you need help.. don't even shut the door. Check.. standing between the doors I contemplate on how the fuck should I take my tshirt off without angering the fucker even more and getting bitten again.. O.O
I lifted the tshirt up my back to let it out.. nope, not there..the creepy felling of buzzing around between my shoulder blades continues.. crap.. what to do?!
I stood there & contemplated the task.. ok, roll up the tshirt to the shoulder blades, not against the body (duh) to prevent further stings..tighten the fabric, so it cannot escape, quickly remove the band from the body.. done..reversed the tshirt and straightened it.. bzzz... Fucker fell somewhere.. Dafaq?! Was it really just a wasp?! If yes, no problem...but what if coworker was wrong and I got bitten by that nasty green whateveritsname bug?! Eeeeewwww! Is it poisonous? Gotta find it & kill it for good.. waited a bit, than saw a goddamn wasp crawl from under the toilet.. wasp!! Yess!! Stopm stomp fucker!!
I get dressed & go back to my desk..
C: Did you terminate it?!
M: Yup, fucker went on a toilet paper trip down the drain!!
I sit down, starting to get my headphones back on and proceed to work.., but before I could, one last gem:
C: CTO would say, thank god it didn't sting you in your finger cuz you wouldn't be able to type anymore..
M: O.O so true hahhahahaaa
Disclaimer - I like animals, but I freakking hate wasps..especially if they get under my tshirt to sting.. :/10
My current boss.. and CTO.. both are great & really laid back, they don't fuss about smoke breaks and are both keeping me in line so that I don't do much overtime (I am a freak for fixing stuff that gets easily consumed by the code)..
36 or sth..
Trying to fix production for xy client without them noticing someone fucked up everything with the previous deploy.. (wasn't me)..
Anyhow, managed to deploy my changes plus fix for the previous fuckup.. in the morning it all worked as it should.
Why it took me so long? Because why bother writing down what changeset was used for deploy.. It's much more fun to guess.. Multiple times.. Anyhow, I managed to figure approximate code for that deploy & merge my changes & fix everything.. + later found out looooads of uncommited changes on the guys computer.. :/ So yeah, never trust a bunneh!!
I'm so thrilled!! I am not a GUI person & I am rly rly slow & bad when it comes to minor changes on that part..
But today I finally finished GUI, client logic, server side logic & db shiiit for some audit interface I was making.. ..from scratch, meaning it wasn't some changese here & there, no copy pasta no nothin.. I did the whole thing by myself..did a lot of things for the first time & it didn't take me ages!! Wiiiiii!!! Having a total 'I iz so proud of myself' moment!! // I usually am not the boasting/confident/happy with myself type..3
Well since I cannot post my work setup due to post-its with 'important stuff' (NDA, not passwords, mind you!!😋) & a lot of curse words & other stuff.. I decided to shame, I mean share my home laptop.. Most of the time, he is lurking in the shadows, trying to upgrade shamelessly whenever I need to use it, occasionally he embarrasses me in front of clients, or makes my summer days at sea a living hell..
So here he is! Everyone, meet LOKI!! :/1
FML, somebody here or somewhere wrote that al customers lie..
Just been a witnes to that.. Over skype (mind I reminded them to write to jira on several occasions so others can help if I am out of office) feature xy is not working.. I log in to server, I see no logs of person a doing anything with our system, let alone use the xy feature... Well duh, of course it doesn't work, it's not a freakin mind reader.. :/
Next time no help, no log checking, no nothing until they provide ss of what exactly they were doing.. :/ Fuuuuu....3
Hahahaha, great start of Monday, discovering angry passive/aggresive comments from previous devs.. xD
// what is this? ever heard of CSS?
// css is for pussies, real men hardcode
// jQuery mixed with Ext. Awesome7
Not sure if this should be a proper rant about the reasons behind this, or a simple 'so much win' situation..
CTO asked how I'm doing with task xy.. my answer: mostly should be fixed, but I'm trying to figure out this zz thing.. It is so fucked up, I can't make sense of it.. before I could really finish the sentence CTO was like: shut up, don't tell me about it, we know, just please fix it..can you fix it? Please say yes..and don't talk about this anymore.. 😂😂😂6
Wow... Not sure where to post.. My wifi/internet speed is a joke in itself.. the kind that always makes me cry..7
Not sure if yelling at someone for not listening counts as a fight.. 🤔 since he wasn't listening..ever!!
But yeah, my ex coworker was a champion in not listening and doing stoooopid shit, from not following orders, to cheking in all the files in solution to tfs (no changes + debugging shit etc) which made it a nightmare to find and fix his bugs.. I just gave up talking to him alltogether since he only wasted my time and didn't listen to any advice/order..
I am sooooo very happy & grateful that my coworker wrote down this comment.. I'd have been lost without it! :/
Why would someone in their right mind change a piece of code that was working fine (and it wasn't a complete mumbo jumbo in styling, logic, transparency, was in line with how the project was coded etc..) to use dapper just to call a stored procedure?! Dafaq is wrong with people!?
Or is it just me & I'm overreactig again?!
I hate when people add more stuff to projects that are already overbloated with fw/techologies to do something so trivial.. like adding 6827646 js fw so you can use one function in each (or are simply still there because they didn't know how to use it and left it in project) which could easily be achieved with our own fw we use...wtf?! O.o
// me cringing, cussing etc..5
Pressing ctrl+s in sql dev when checking packages.. you accidentally press space or sth and later ctrl s it compiles.. then shit gets real when you accidentaly lock up everything on prod db..2
Spent 4h+ debugging my code (it was late)...only to realise that my code was not buggy, but the fuckup in design was in the original part I didn't change..FML..
Duuude!? What the fuck?!
First weekend off so I can slack around & now this?! O.o
I don't know what I expected.. I didn't evem do anything to it (yet)..10
I think my IE knows it's crap & is trying to hide.. xD
Actually took me a second to locate the little mofo on the desktop O.o
Ohe yeah, this is actual window size it opened itself in.. the picture is not cropped.. only magnified when uploaded..4
No, dear M$, I can't tell you if sth is helpful after spening 5s on page, especially if 4s were spent loading the content!!!2