29
Fast-Nop
73d

I did it - I went outside! Felt strange, like Y2K and Maya doomsday would have been together. Of course I went out only during daylight because THEY hide in the dark. Infrastructure was mostly still intact, I've even seen some houses. Occasionally, survivors scrambling the area.

GPS didn't work so I used my magnetic compass. OK, it was because I forgot my mobile at home, but anyway. Should I take petrol with me so that I could burn my clothing upon return? Or would this attract THEM? Occasional gunfire in the distance. Might also be some pneumatic hammer, that's what the media would try to tell me.

The local supermarket had still trolleys outside. I took note because I might need them to bar the stairwell, along with the land mines that I still have left over from New Year's Eve.

Deserted cars standing around. Looked like neatly parked, but that doesn't mean anything. When Germans turn into zombies, their last human action is to park their cars. That's so genetically hardwired that no virus can override it.

Dusk set in. I better returned home.

Comments
  • 7
    Sounds like a normal trip outside to me
  • 1
    @alexbrooklyn That's exactly what gets people, only topped off by "we'll meet here again in ten minutes".
  • 3
    I like imagine “they” as the coronavirus “experts”.

    They will chase you to end of world, and shotgun blast your head off if you do a slight cough.

    Honestly though bless these people, thanks to their restlessness they are actually helping decrease the spread.

    If only they could shut the fuck up just a bit about it maybe I could stop thinking about dying.
  • 1
    @jesustricks "they" are once innocent people who have been transformed into vile and disgusting creatures, and "they" will only shut up and shiver in terror once "it" appears. I don't think that trolleys and land mines could stop "it".
  • 5
    If you want some peace and quiet, just cough randomly. Everyone stays away. It's wonderful!
  • 3
    Even on an apocalyptic event we can count on German precision.

    I love it
  • 1
    is the wildlife reclaiming the cities in your area too?
  • 1
    I would totally watch a show about some super paranoid guy thinking it was the end of days when really it was just a normal trip outside the house. Like maybe he was constantly high or something. XD

    Also, I would totally watch a show about Germans turning into zombies and still fucking owning it. That shit would be awesome.
  • 1
    @mghrist Yeah I've seen some squirrels squirreling around.
  • 0
    How's that related to development? Go back to Facebook.
  • 1
    @cprn First, I'm not on Facebook and have never been. Second, there are a lot of DR stories that are not directly development related, and specifically on that topic, which is what I was mocking.
  • 1
    I went out last night despite the cUrFeW~ and I'm just mad that 7/11 was closed. I started throwing stones at the store screaming, "You call yourself a convenience store! You abandoned us!" Then this homeless man came up to me and said, "Here, take these magic beans, shove it up your ass, grow it, and you'll have food to eat until the next apocalypse."

    I calmed down until I saw glowing yellow eyes approaching the man. The eyes were slit-like so they must be from China. They screamed "Corona-chuuung!" before attacking the man. So I thought, "Okay." then I went back to my place and played Minecraft.

    People are odd these days.
  • 0
    @Fast-Nop Developers, code, tech, and programmer are keywords in devrant.com/about: "devRant is a fun community for developers to share and bond over their successes and frustrations with code, tech, and life as a programmer." If it's not related, it's SPAM.
  • 2
    @cprn You might want to look at the weekly rant in wk199, and also a couple of other at best peripherally related weekly rants. That may give you a better idea on what the topic range actually is. Hint: it's somewhat broader than you'd think.

    That might also answer the question you had in your latest rant where you clearly didn't get the meaning of the "rant / story" button.
  • 2
    @cprn please don't spam, this is a fun community.
  • 0
    @electrineer That's why we need to fix it but that's a different story. Also, you know what you did wrong. Stuff your ego back in your ass.

    @Fast-Nop I get the meaning, it's in the dictionary. And that was before, when I run on assumption without reading the "about" section. Now I only scold for actual spam. While "wk" tags might be a one time permission to talk about something not directly related to life as a dev, if we threat them as rules we'll soon have a yet another biology forum here.
  • 3
    @cprn what I stuff in my good ole ham flower is none of your business
  • 0
    @electrineer You've got me at ham.
Add Comment