cataloguing and accounting for known unknowns and knowing when exactly you need to turn them into knowns (if ever).

basically getting used to the idea that you're always in some way and to some degree stumbling in/through the dark because your light is too dim to illuminate everything, so you have to choose the right direction to point it in. getting lost isn't not knowing what's everywhere around, it's not knowing what's in the specific direction that you need to go in.

oh and, also, sadly, this shouldn't be true, but at least in my life it is: there's nobody to ask for help when you're the one others come to to ask for help. either I solve something, or it will stay unsolved. which is... stressful and exhausting, and often desperation-inducing, but i guess it is what it is...

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