My biggest insecurity is not being able to understand the problem or figure out how to solve it.
Also seeing that we aren't finding a common ground to agree to about the problem and/or solution thinking if I was just talking gibberish to them all along and I can't just carry the message across.

History is the best predictor of future performance.

If you could solve problems in the past, chances are good most problems, given time, you will solve.

And it has nothing to do with your anxiety, at all. Thats simply how it works.

As for people that don't see 'eye to eye' I've found more than a few people who I couldn't get through to turned out to be shitheads that did that to everyone.

I usually insult and degrade them until they go away, and take great pleasure in doing so, but thats just my approach. Don't know if it would work for anyone else.