My best friend and long time crush just told me she got into a new relationship 😑

I'm here, reading rants to take my mind off sadness 😑

Never told her?

Sadly, No. Thanks to my *strong* social skills 😀

You never know. If things change next time tell her. You have nothing to lose. Otherwise move on and find happiness.Good luck!

Thank you, @Jumpshot44!

You would have a better chance of escaping the gravitational pull of a black hole than escaping the friend zone. Science!

Just go for it next time!!

I feel like people are too much focused on being in the friendzone, while a single phrase can get you out of it. "I like you" or a more conventional way for us programmers which is

If youLove == True && iLove ==True:
dating = True

Advice from a woman: If you want her in your life forever, stay friends with her and don't say anything because whatever is meant to be will happen. I think it's more important to maintain friendship then possibly lose a friend if she doesn't feel the same way. If there is a moment one day where you know she feels the same then do something. Till then... don't.

Sucks, but hey there's 3.5 billion more of them out there for you! Except I call dips on that one. And that one. And those over there. So really 1.5 billion women to choose from!

@Samantha12467 is right friendship will have your relationship last even when things get hard.

Hey man, I had been in the same kind of situation as you, she is married now. Not sure if you are interested in the story but here it is:

I also have bad social skills, I am always shy to talk to girls and I never really approach them much so if I want a partner I always go on dating apps or something. Yes, I met her through there in 2014. It started out great, we were good friends. I dont know what's wrong with me but like 3-4 months into the friendship, I got into a relationship. In that short 2 months of that "relationship", I started to realise that I got feeling for that friend of mine. Almost at the end of the year, I told her that I like her but she told me she didnt feel the same and we remained friends, nothing changed. Later on her prom was coming up, she asked me to be her date. Since I like her, I said " Yes!" Right away. Two days later she tells me that she can't go with me because she forgot another guy asked her and he was being super cute with flowers and chocolates.

Continue:

At the end of the year, she got hold of my roommates number and slept with him. Those two people knew about my feelings, I just shrugged it off and still kept being her friend even though it hurt me so much. In 2015, in march or something, we went to a social one night, I think we almost kissed that night, not sure. A month or so later she got into a relationship. Then in the middle of the year, she got into a fight with another friend of mine and she blamed me for it. We stopped chatting for about 6 months then she suddenly showed up at my front door asking for me because she wants to give me the invitation to her wedding. I went to it and left early because I couldn't handle it.

This year I sent her a message telling her all that I felt and ended the friendship.

Sorry about this long comment. Probably the wrong place to talk about this, but that was my experience. Its so crap

I agree with the girl who said don't say anything. I am in a similar situation as you @OP. But the girl I like had a friend (who I didn't know) tell her that he liked her and he is now not very good friends with her. Instead, she confides in me and talks to me. It is not love, but maybe someday I will get a chance to tell her my feelings.

Just a bright side to my story.

I am happy now, haven't completely moved on but I have a beautiful girlfriend, that supports me in everything that I do. I'm even thinking of marrying this girl.

@Samantha12467 Couldn't disagree more! From the _woman's_ perspective thats of course the preferable situation - either way she wins - keeping you as a friend or as a partner. But, she's not the one who gets to live with a broken heart. Furthermore, continuing as "friends" always hoping/longing for something "more" not only hurts your heart but also blocks you from trying to get in contact with others. My advice is to tell her about your feelings, and if they're not answered: get over her and move on. Life is too short for waiting.

@trogus Which most of them are either too old or young for him

@troopy712139 Dude no offense on your crush but she is a terrible terrible human being. I mean if somebody did that to me I would call her a bitch and cut her away from my life permanently and if they had the audacity to invite me to their wedding I would probably be the worst person there and annoy anyone and everyone there. Eat food, be obnoxious and start fights. Let them remember their most important day with me in the middle of it fucking things up now. Thats what she would deserve.

@troopy712139 Well I'm really glad you found yourself your perfect girl. I hope you have a happy family if you decide to marry her. I personally always thought having a family would be a blast especially with kids. I didn't find my perfect girl yet but when I do I will be sure to share the story of How I met my kids' mother here on devrant 😀

@Marnsghol, I wouldn't go so far. I would rather wish her happiness and cut all my ties with her permanently.

The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. When you hate someone you'd still be thinking about them. When you become truly indifferent to their existence, you grow as a person and find true happiness.

I kinda agree with Samantha12467 but if you're like me and can't tell when someone's into you, you may never know when the right time comes.
On the only relationship I've had, the guy kept hitting on me for a whole term, nonstop (10th grade, 4-5y ago). TBH I didn't know if he was serious or not, for the past 3y I'd had a guy in my class that "hit" on everyone (me included) so I couldn't tell if this one was being serious or not. After some time I decided to tell him what I felt for him (I did like him a lot, we were really good friends), and we started the relationship on the beginning of the next term.
It lasted 1m. He ended up breaking up with me (after I went to talk to him cause he didn't talk to me for 1w). After that we had an on-off relationship that I decided I had enough of on xmas last year (because he wanted a physical relationship but I'm asexual and I don't want that; and after 2 other break ups that I took back). We barely talked the next semester.

Continuation:

He tried to keep talking to me every other time but I pushed him off and only replied when I thought I should.
We pretty much didn't talk for the whole summer except when I deleted him some times on skype and he kept asking me to add me. I did that to keep the anxiety at bay but we're still "friends" on skype.
He came to me by the end of the summer and apologized for what happened after the first break up, and even offered to cook me something sometime.

I can't say I'm over him, specially knowing I have to see him pretty much everyday in uni, as we are in the same course and have a couple classes together, but I'm doing good. It still hurts a bit but I can cope with it.
Don't let my story fool you though! Things didn't go well between us but that's because we wanted different relationships.
When you're sure you can do it, tell her how you feel. I guess I can say the community has your back. Good luck!

@troopy712139 I'm sorry. But for any man, 'friendzone' should mean end of friendship if you cant get over your special feelings and just be her friend and nothing more.

But, fuck, you didnt do anything, kept your distance and she still blamed you for one of her breakups. I think that's completely nuts.

@carvaka time to meet new people! The sooner you find another girl that you like, it just gets easy to forget about this one 😁

Thank you everyone! I never thought I'd receive so much support! It means a lot! 😃