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!rant

Programming is a huge blessing i believe we all should be thankful to. For me, it literally turned my life around.

11 months ago i was fighting a losing battle with depression, and contemplated suicide constantly. I would use a self remedy of smoking weed and sleeping all day long. I was depressed because i felt my life had no real value. I was doing nothing, and its kind of an infinite loop.

You don't do anything, so you feel bad, so you don't do anything, and so on.

That was until i finally took the step that changed my life. I searched and wanted to learn something. I always liked web pages so i thought id get into web development.

Did some research, found out that the fastest way to go was to learn ruby on rails. I followed a tutorial i found online, and literally pushed myself through it. There were times when there where things i didnt understand, and when it was really bad, but i pushed myself through it and i finished the tutorial.

Just finishing the tutorial and learning something new helped me alot. I had already quit smoking and was feeling way better, but after a while i started feeling bad again since i wasnt doing anything after i had finished learning, so i started working on a personal project, creating it from scratch, and just working on it day and night. I worked 14 hours a day, never really leaving my room ( this was during summer vacation ) for a month.

There were many things i didnt understand, but i never gave up and always searched for the solution and read about it until i understood it better. Looking back, there were things i knew could have been done in a better way, but as a first project, im proud of myself, not because it rocks, but because i did not give up.

In the process of starting a new life, i was really lonely. I cut all ties with everyone i knew, since they were all toxic, all i had in my life was ruby on rails and my web application. I wanted to launch it but couldn't due to personal reasons.

Not being able to launch and see something live, something that you worked so hard on, that you put so much effort into, that was devastating to me. I felt as if all my efforts had gone to waste.

And here is what i love most about programming, NOTHING EVER GOES TO WASTE. All that effort you spent on something ? All these all nighters you pulled ? All that frustration from that bug ? It will pay off later. It always does somehow. You get more knowledge and become a better programmer, and sometimes it even gives way to new opportunities and chances you never even expected.

I included my web application in my resume and it helped land me a job as a junior developer in a really nice company. A job that i wouldn't even have dreamed of several months earlier.

Programming and creating something new and learning something new everyday, creating something that people use, that someone else will benefit from and be grateful for, i think we should never take that for granted !

Tl;dr : learning how to code and web development saved my life

Comments
  • 8
    Congratulations and you set an example for others. Thanks.
  • 1
    Great story and congratulations. I can relate a bit, and out of respect for your journey, I shall refrain from my normal cynical humor. :)
  • 0
    Keep on learning and welcome to the community.
  • 2
    You are awesome because you had the will power to go through it ! I had a similar experience but mine was a little different. I took a break from life for 2 years. I didn't go to school or really left my house at all. I had ocd and depression with family problems like most teenagers have. I had too many problems in that poor psychology of mine. But like you I hated not doing anything. I was always busy with something. Crafting, sculpting, drawing, programming (thanks to that 2 years crisis phase my skill set growed a lot I guess). And like you I finished some coursera courses and got a certificafe. Which really made me happy and I went back to programming and started (again like you) a project from scratch which I'm still working on. I'm glad to say that I'm also fine right now ! Best of luck to you Op in your life and I hope you never lose that will power.
  • 1
    @Marnsghol Its great to hear you got your life back on track and that you are making progress, keep it up and best of luck !
  • 1
    Thank you all for the support, positivity, and encouragement !
  • 0
    Nice. Good luck.
  • 0
    Awesome story, it makes me happy you're on your feet again with a job you enjoy. Never stop learning!
  • 0
    Pace yourself. 14 hours a day isn't going to work long-term.
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