You ever feel annoying when you explain things to your co-worker, like they're stuck on an issue and you solve it for them so you explain what happened, why it did what it did, and how the fix works, but as you talk you can see them start to get a little annoyed and just waiting for the conversation to end.

I would welcome you in my life never feel annoying.

Just ask.

"Sorry, if my explanation is boring. If you need help - next time, ask someone else".

I hate to waste time, especially if I'm taking time for someone else.

@IntrusionCM I've been in those shoes many times. And to be completely frank, we, the people who are explaining, are the only ones who are that interested in that explanation. The fellow we've just helped out -- not so much.

And I can't blame them. They had a problem - they asked for your help - you've helped. Now they can proceed with their tasks, but you keep talking and talking and showing your knowledge and nerdiness.

Truth is, hardly anyone is truly interested in those explanations :) So now before I dive into the post-mortem I first ask whether the person I've helped is interested in my ramblings.

@netikras the fun thing is.

I wanted to write:

Just ask.

_If they want the explanation and act bored without any interest, make it clear that you feel disrespected:_.

It's really to warm for me. Brain segfaulted.

In school and during my game dev career, people would come to me for help.

I found that if I just gave people the answers they wanted, they would continually come back with the same, or very similar, problems. Giving the answer didn’t teach them how to solve the problem on their own, and they grew dependent on me for help. Kind of like feeding wild animals, they started to forget how to help themselves.

Instead, I would explain what was going wrong, ask what they needed to do, and ask questions leading to the answer — but never give it away. They almost always grew annoyed with me, and some would get angry and storm off to ask someone else. These people never learned. Those that stuck with me often had an ‘ah-ha’ moment and actually understood. They also only rarely came back with similar questions, and, often, learned how to solve their own problems after awhile. Whether this was because I actually helped them learn to reason through things, or they solved things on their own simply to avoid me I don’t know, but either way it was effective!

@Root, I was just about to comment about people that get annoyed at the ones they asked for help is due to them wanting an answer, not an explanation which, as you stated, is the worse thing to do, in my opinion.

As level 2 tech support for a communications company, my work involves answering relatively complicated tech questions to call center agents. Refusal to acknowledge the logic/reasoning behind the given answer and generally being asked for the answer outright to me comes across as two things : 1. I feel I'm being used for my knowledge and quickly disposed of and 2. ingratitude, like giving a struggling mechanic a far superior ratchet wrench to work with and they just throw it back to your face.

I'm careful not to succumb to this but it's easy for anyone to get insulted by that, something the offenders don't seem concerned about... then again, that doesn't seem like it is the only thing they don't seem to care about. :/

@Version2-1 Very well put, and I agree. They are mental lazy, and unless you force them to put in some effort, in this case by withholding the easy answer, they will continue to be lazy. Some will get angry at you for not enabling their laziness. Their goal is exactly to use you for a quick solution and get back to doing the bare minimum to get by. It is insulting. More than insulting, though, it’s depressing due to just how common it is.

@Root I need some of that self respect. I had it. I lost it. Where do I find it?

@galileopy Not in others.

Learn to trust yourself, and don’t seek to please others. That avoids conflict, but it makes you meek, and the meek never deserve nor receive respect. Trust yourself, hold your own, and make people earn your respect instead. It’ll make you enemies, but those enemies are only angry at you for not letting them control you. Also known as bullies.

Stand up for and trust yourself; don’t be meek; admit when you are wrong. Don’t let people waste your time.