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@uyouthe Nah... It's fine.
I just needed to get it off my chest.
I'm happy with my work, last months were just extremely exhausting. I liked to curse and swear and visualize most gory details, it is my way of staying sane.
... but currently I'm too tired for this.
It will get better in the next weeks, I guess. -
@IntrusionCM i felt the same. Then the first panic attack happened and I just laid there in my own vomit, still can’t figure out for how long. Then the second attack happened. Then they diagnosed me with depression but prescribed a wrong medication and the “therapy” led to six months of nightmare where you can’t tell the day apart from night and see the letters but can’t read the words.
Please got yourself checked with a good, expensive psychiatrist. What you describe sounds exactly like the very beginning of what you’ll not be able to escape if you’re too late -
@uyouthe uff... very honest. think that's the reason I answer, since I usually avoid this kind of "touchy personal stuff".
Health / psychology wise I'm what most people call a "train wreck".
I've learned to deal with it - yes doctors helped - but overall, this year is definitely the worst since a long time.
Climate change, corona, isolation... Year put me through a grinder. I know I'm not the only one....
That's what I meant by exhaustion. Job is a small part of it, yes - but the largest part is just this completely insane and fucked up world.
The rant was for me just a way to remind myself of having finished this mammoth task despite the world being a misanthropic pile of shit.
Sort of "Good job done" and "Fuck you world. Really - FUCK U." -
@IntrusionCM only two of all the people I know track their mental state and know when to seek help. All the others are like “well just don’t be sad”. If you’re homeless just buy a house.
So I automatically assume that everyone I see isn’t aware of what a “mental state” is. My bad. -
@uyouthe it's not your bad.
Quite the opposite. One of the reasons I'm a train wreck is because most of the doctors I talked to did exactly that.
"Oh you're still working? Well it can't be that bad then. It's going to be fine"
... And yes. This escalated a few times pretty badly. Of course I'm working. It's the glue that keeps me from going completely bananas.
So it's the right thing to talk about this.
Because it affects a lot of people and once you're stuck in the loophole of shit it's too late.
So high five mate. -
@IntrusionCM fyi fluoxetine and venlafaxine went with no effect at all, all neuroleptics did bad things and vortioxetine saved me. It’s rarely prescribed though, relatively new medicine
when your code is a mess but everything work out in the end
When you keep getting +1s on a rant you posted a month ago.
Go big or go home.
Fuckity fuck.
It's weekend.
To all you abusive, micromanaging arseholes… Light a magnesium torch up in your arse and make us smile.
To all you motherfucking dumb cunts who can play 8 hours instead of working, but are unable to cope with the simple task of documentation:
Resign and stay away from civilization as far as you can. Alternative: Self castration and removal from the gene pool
To all the narcisstic workaholics who think everyone must be available everytime... Hop into a meat grinder, it's nice and cozy - I've been told.
It's weekend and I've finished everything. First time in half a year that I can return to a normal weekend schedule.
Dobby is free. And Dobby will stuff a sock so far up your arse that you can lick it clean if you disturb dobby.
:) *happy smile*
rant
fuckity