Dear Contractor,

Please understand that the reason I have hired you is so I could offload fairly marginal tasks and projects to someone else so that my work queue stops being a constipated mess of things that need done. HOWEVER, if you continue to freaking need constant hand holding I'll do the damn project myself. STOP ASKING ME EVERY 30 SECONDS IF I HAVE AN OPINION ON WHAT FUCKING TEXT EDITOR YOU SHOULD BE USING.

Good help is so hard to find.

Sincerely,

Sr. Developer