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Dear previous dev on this project,

I know that everyone loved you and still admires you for being so nice and having such a great knowledge. Please teach me your ways of achieving this level of popularity while writing big bowls of fucking flying spaghetti monster code with a bunch of hidden bugs and thousands of lines of unit tests that clearly never been used since it is literally impossible to run them thanks to missing mocks and overall bad design.

Teach me so I can become this person who shits big reeking piles in the office in front of everyone and even after leaving people still praise them for being exceptionally clean and sophisticated.

Comments
  • 10
    His code worked on everyone’s computer. That was his secret.

    In a serious note, if a developer has no peer one a project, he becomes legend inevitably. Nobody wants to stop a running engine, despite how many fumes it spits.
  • 6
    His secret was most likely that he got all the deadlines on time... Regardless of the consequences which you now have to deal with 😉

    I guess he followed the "Quit while you're ahead" mantra pretty flawlessly...
  • 2
    99.99% of people only care if it works.

    And half the remaining people code even worse.
  • 2
    Euthanasia; it's the new gift card!
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