67
Dane
5y

Alias coworker = high school classmate

This kid wore a trench coat to school every single day and I guess he had a chronic masturbation problem because the guy was caught 3 different times IN CLASS jerking off.
Most people would catch a sexual harassment / indecent exposure / public masturbation charge, but this kid was breaking all these national math competition records and was working with a local university doing research and had a 4.5+ GPA (in high school in U.S. that's possible) so the school decided to do 2 things.

1. Not punish the kid, and in fact nothing of this was ever put on any record at all.
2. Write him a note from school administrators saying that this student can leave class whenever he would like no questions asked, and that the teacher must notify the office so they could send a security guard in order for this masturbation obsessed student to literally occupy a bathroom as his jerk off chamber uninterrupted.

So if in the past 6-7 years you've been in a high caliber university studying computer science and there was a kid in a trench coat "feeding some geese" near you, you can thank my high school.

Comments
  • 11
    @h3ll *ba dum-tiss*
  • 8
    @h3ll that was the single most perfect comment I've read all day
  • 1
    Sounds like a pretty chill dude
  • 9
    @Dane I hate the way you used to judge me when I was having private time during class. A man has needs.
  • 0
    He sounds like he was coping with a high stress situation.
  • 0
    @tisaconundrum That's what I tell everyone... Really I just do it for the SEXUAL THRILL...

    THE SEXUAL THRILL.
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