17
Wisecrack
43d

At 20 I thought my life would be an adventure. At 30 it seems like it's a rerun.

The reality is that life is full of grey areas, "good guys and bad guys" on all sides of most issues, and the story and excitement eventually end.

sometimes getting old feels like becoming comfortable with being numb and mediocre.

you are not the star at the center of your own story.

there is no story. there is only today, and then tomorrow, and then the day after that for as long as they happen to go on.

I can see no greater meaning or purpose behind this circus.

people think in months, seasons, years. maybe some of you even have five year plans.

but for me, rome was yesterday. and every rome to come. thats how near it is. It is so close, it and so many times before and after it, I cannot explain the sensation.

and in the vast gulfs of time, I see the wars, the conflicts, the narratives, and they unfold like dust or scum swirling on a pond, mechanistic, telling stories about nothing, algae struggling over territory on a rock.

as clearly as day, I see it all.

I saw your birth, and I saw your death. Your pain, and your greatest joy. How is it possible to love a total stranger and know them intimately because of their shared humanity? And still.

And from afar, in the stillness, I can't help being detached from the world and its problems.
And when we die, it is as if the world dies with us. Because it is not the end of the world, but the death of our own.

Softly go mortals, gently to their gods, like flowers in the fading summer. Never grasping that the permanence of the true identity and the temporality of the spirit are as fundementally distinct as the permanence of say "the G note", against the brief sound it makes when touched.

Eh. forget it. Sentimentality is a curse sometimes.

Comments
  • 4
    You’re pretty much done with life expectations when you’re born.
    There is <1% that you become rich and <10% you jump off to decent life.

    All people try to say you have a chance cause they get a free labor in exchange.

    Thats the sad reality.
    During 20s you are squeezed from your ideas, power and work by rich people and advertisers so during 30s if you still have some power left you can live your life like you want to not like rich people advertise it.
  • 1
    There may or may not be greater meaning behind it all, though it seems likely that it's all in our heads. But I think that gives us conscious beings significant power, since we get to define the meaning of our own lives. Yes, it may be that humanity, in the scope of the universe, is equivalent to an algae colony on a pebble. If this is the case, then it can be tempting to curse sentimentality or feel estranged from any sort of passion in life. I won't pretend to know the meaning of your life, that is for you to resolve. But for me, passion is essential, lest I wander aimlessly with my head down, kicking rocks and cursing existence. Passion, sentimentality, and deep bonds with other people or animals are my main drivers. In the end, you have to decide how you want to live, and that will probably be a continuous process. Best of luck to ya, mate. Cheers.
  • 1
    I hear you, but mate, you're 30. You're not getting "old" until you're over twice the age you are now!
  • 2
    My favorite devrant poet. You got talent kid. *puffs cigar and offers you columnist spot w/ nytimes*
  • 2
    @phat-lasagna the resume was in ages ago. It's brief. It reads "one soul, lightly used."

    thanks.
  • 3
    @vane advertisement really is an opiate isnt it.

    I think happiness is the process of accepting the inevitible.
  • 1
    @fmi11 thanks for the kind words. If passion gives you meaning, thats good. May it sustain you for the many years to come.
  • 1
    @AlmondSauce 30s a good age for anyone to start acknowledging they're getting older. It's around this time that the heady teenage years and 20s start to wear off, and common health problems tend to appear.

    I'm reminded of the desiderata. Can't drink from the same river twice.

    Also the river is polluted and on fire. Thanks DOW. You ruined my DAO.
  • 1
    Happiness is an advertised lie
  • 1
    @Wisecrack Well it’s more like sugar. In certain age you should drop it.
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