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Nothing but the best for little bittersweet jr., so I mask up and bike out through the rain to buy the tiny girl the most expensive pacifier I can find.

When I hand it to baby, she giggles, grabs the nipple end in her fist, and passionately starts slobbering on the back of this luxury mouthhole-plug, sucking the edge, biting on the ring. Angry grunt, yeets the plastic object out of the crib.

Apparently, it doesn't meet her specs at all. When I fall to my knees asking what else I can do for her, she just pouts, groans, whines, and then falls asleep.

That's when I realized.

When my little monster grows up, she's going to be a product manager.

Comments
  • 5
    the battle is not lost yet.
  • 10
    Cute rant. Give her the pacifier saying that a fairy has blessed it now. A little misdirection can do wonders.
  • 3
    @3rdWorldPoison she is too youmg to understand speech
  • 19
    @3rdWorldPoison She doesn't have a REST or GraphQL API, so I find it difficult to communicate with her. Of course, she has failed to provide any form of documentation so far, so it's all trial and error.

    I post various requests, all I get back is "brrrrrrr wleh brrr woo" which I assume is some kind of server error.
  • 13
    So relatable. 😂

    My monster is probably going to grow up to be an asshole micromanaging boss, given his trend of behavior.

    He’s currently the dictator of the house, not that anyone listens. It makes him so mad.
  • 6
    @Root It would be nice if you could put coworkers in timeout, or threaten your boss "if you don't stop being a toxic asshole, there will be no dessert tonight"
  • 2
    Cuuute. We all know QAs are the biggest babies mouhahaha
  • 1
    @bittersweet her api is in an alpha status. whats her version (x.y)
  • 2
    @stop I'm fairly certain she's unversioned, no backups, all development happens in production.
  • 1
    @bittersweet she sounds like version 0.10 or version 1.2
  • 2
    She could always be one those 10x power hungry devs that has 100 unfinished repos and a need to push back practices on you in the form of hip paradigm trends
  • 1
    It'll be bulk af by the third one, trust me 😁
  • 1
    @bittersweet « if you don’t behave, imma work 9-17 for the next week » would definitely get me a docile boss :|
  • 0
    When she’ll grow up and have plans with her friends and everything would be ready and you were going to take her and suddenly — “sorry dad, we had to cancel today because one of the girls is sick”.

    Rescheduling stuff last minute as a teen means doing spec changes last minute in the future! Don’t let this happen!
  • 1
    Tell her it's a "Neural Network Blockchain AI Pacifier".
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