A manager who felt that it was okay to come and speak to me about something that they were unhappy with in my conduct towards a member of our team, in a public place, loud enough for others to hear.

The conduct that made the manager feel the need to do this was my response to something another team member asking me to do. I had a lot on my plate with work, and had been given at least 3 additional tasks already in that meeting and my response to having to do yet another thing for this other team member because they "hadn't any idea what to do" was simply that I was quite busy and if it wasn't high priority it could wait one week as I have 3 other higher priority tasks that week to do. This resulted in me getting a warning and in a very public place.

Shouldn't have let it get to me the way it did, but the stress I was under and the way in which it was conducted just broke me and I cried. That nearly pushed me to leave my job and industry entirely.

  • 6
    You'll have to get used to the fact that you do not prioritise. Managers do that. If you go against that, you will cry often.
    Your part is to put things into perspective. Manager can still change your tasks after the meeting. I can only assume you spoke back at the meeting, so he returned the favour.
  • 6
    @AtuM Not even, it's a manager who set the tasks as high priority and the other team member asked me to to theirs as well because they simply did not want to try and work out how. However, the manager in question, doesn't set my workload. Another one does. This one plays a middle man role.
  • 7
    So speak with your manager so he can reorganize your tasks and have a word with the middle man.
    You work your shifts and do what you can. After that it's your free time.
    If some tasks are beeing left behind, it's not your ass on the line. Except if you decide to prioritise on your own.
    You know what I am trying to say, right? Do not let anyone get to you. You do your job, let others do theirs. If it doesn't work for you due to toxic environment and relationships, change jobs.
    I never want you to cry again.
  • 6
    @AtuM do you think a project manager is a real manager?
    Managers manage, programs managers manage the program, if there is no one to manage the program you contribute to that role by prioritizing your shit, the only trick is that your priorities have ti be pi lic and you must be open to feedback and to re prioritize.

    @GIS-Jedi you did the right thing, maybe you just needed to do this more on the open so everyone or at least your immediate superior knows ehat is going.
    That dude doing this to you was shit, maybe victim to his own stress too, maybe just an asshole.
  • 4
    @GIS-Jedi Unless its in your job description to tutor and take over hard jobs you did nothing wrong.

    You have your tasks, they have theirs.

    If they like you to take over one due to difficulty, that is the decision of the manager or you, not them
  • 5
    hmmm in your story it looks like you declined to offer immediate help in a polite way, because other priorities were decided. In addition you didn't refuse to help, but offered help later...

    Only an asshole manager could treat you in the way you described.
    Unless 1.the person you refused to help was a relative/friend of the manager 2.you were politely screaming and yelling...
  • 3
    @willcandy in your case 1 the manager is still an a-hole
  • 4
    Your manager is an arse. Even if your behaviour does warrant a warning (it doesn't from your description) then doing it publicly is never ok.

    The most that should have resulted in was a friendly chat to make the prioritisation clear, that was it. if that happened to me, I'd be searching for a new job right away.
  • 3
    Fuck that guy and your team mates.

    I had team mates who acted like this, one of them yelled that he can't do his task because I wasn't helping him. It was within earshot of all the people in our team including my manager. I snapped at him and said, "It's not my fault you don't have skills." Everyone laughed at him.

    Probably wouldn't fly with other managers but yours is power-tripping, inappropriate, and irresponsible piece of shit. I would drag the HR if I had the energy. He can't just walk around not doing his own job and then blame another employee when shit happens, not without consequences. Even if he didn't know the complete story, he should have clarified things with you calmly and in private. If he can't manage himself to the point that he would blow up in public then he cannot manage a team.
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