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Delphi: The goth-looking girl that everyone avoids because "she's weird" and/or "not what everyone looks like", but when you get the nerve to say "Hello", you find out she's actually really nice, non-judgemental, and a lot fun to hang out with.
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Hazarth93414yMIPS IV assembly:
A sportsy foreign girl, in shape, looks great thought her face isn't "classic pretty". One you learn her language you can have a conversation but most of the time you don't understand what she's saying because she's normal and you're a nerd that sits at a computer comparing programming languages to imaginary girls -
Bubbles68274yreplace your description of C with C++ and change the description of C to "A cougar"
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Java : A girl who is decent at her job but has a very bad memory. Living with her may seem more effort than required. You stay with her because she is the only one your parents aproove of.
Haskel: New girl on the block. Few people know her but everybody pretends to understand her. Only replies in one liners and can manage a lot of people at the same time.
PHP: An old fashioned chick who was at the top of her game in the past decade, but has now been surpassed by flashy millenials
HTML: 2 female monkeys standing on top of each other in a coat trying to pass on as a woman -
Hazarth93414y@JavaIsLava
I guess one nice thing about Java is that she collects all the garbage around the house, It's just annoying that she does it constantly and your needs only come second to her cleaning the house over and over -
Ok here goes sorry I'm lazy.
Flutter: skinny girl who was flat chested but now got fatter because she ate lots of dart chocolates. Thank me later - flies away -
PHP: elephant size girl who likes Lamps and can't control urinating so she always PeesHerPants
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Tonnoman6274yJavaScript also has a massive friendsgroup which complicates things beyond any imaginable capacity
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Tonnoman6274y@theabbie yeah... I mean I'm strongly oppose sexism, but this really isn't meant to be sexist and can apply to whatever gender you are attracted to.
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If programming languages were girls
Python: The average girl that is okay-looking, easy-going, and you just get along
C: The overachiever with a complex personality and high maintenance
JavaScript: The dropout meth addict that doesn't have a dayjob and you would leave her if you could, but you can't because her parents are paying half the rent.
Ruby: The girl that is a bit daft, doesn't make a lot of money, isn't very good at cooking - But she lets you do anything you want, and she's so smoking hot that when you look at her, you just don't care
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