DO NOT let employers demoralize you into staying with the company.

I've been with this one company for about 2 years. Everything was great, despite being underpaid, and having a lot of responsibility (I was the only front-end developer maintaining 4 big eCommerce sites).
One day about 2 months ago, I got a better offer. Better pay, more freedom, and way less stress (Customers screaming in your ear vs. no customers at all).

I talked to my team lead since I wanted my company to have a fair chance to counteroffer - I was fairly comfortable after all, and I felt like it would be a nice gesture.
If my team lead had just said "No, sorry, we can't counter that offer", there's a big chance that I would have stayed with them anyway. Instead, I got a fairly uncomfortable and personal rant thrown back at me.

He basically said that I should be happy with my salary, that he didn't feel like I had much responsibility, and that "I wasn't the type of person companies would hire for that salary".
He ended by saying I might as well stay, as there was no going back if the new place didn't work out - basically trying to tempt me with job security.

I told him that I would think about it. The worst part is that I actually did, since his rant really made me feel somewhat worthless as a developer. Luckily I came to my senses, and sent my resignation the next day.

I talked to an old coworker today, and they are still unable to find a developer who wants to take the job. I see that as justice :)

tl;dr: If a company tries to make you stay by demoralizing you - Run.

  • 18
    Generally I think you have to be ready to leave by default when you bring a "I have another offer." type situation to your employer.

    If they don't offer you value, you walk. That's it. You have to have made that call ahead of time on your own.

    If you're not willing to walk... you don't tell your employer.

    Otherwise if you're not going to walk... it's not worth the possible bad outcomes if you present the "I have another offer." scenario to your current employer.
  • 2
    @AtuM Yeah that's good input. I never really thought about it that way. I think the new company I work for has been burned like this before - they were fairly easy to negotiate salary with :)
  • 3
    @N00bPancakes I know that for next time, for sure. I guess bringing up offers from another company is a no-go, even if the intentions are good. My experience was bad for sure.

    I'm actually somewhat glad it was a negative outcome - otherwise I might have continued working for them, while they had negative thoughts about me or the situation.
  • 1
    What the.......
  • 8
    Pro-tip: emotionally speaking, if you’re willing to interview somewhere else, you’re already out the door. NEVER consider/contemplate a counter offer: that job is already in the past if you’re willing to admit it to yourself or not!
  • 6
    Never accept a counter offer, even if they offer one. It never works out well.
  • 6
    If your company was a girlfriend, that'd be the perfect example of a toxic relationship
  • 4
    @AlmondSauce I'd say "never ask for a counteroffer". If they propose it on their own free will then it's fine
  • 4
    @crisz I'd still never recommend taking it.
  • 1
    @AtuM Haha, I was actually asked to work overtime without pay a while back, so I guess that's true :)
  • 2
    @AlmondSauce That might be true. This is the first time I actually switch jobs, so I don't have experience in that regard :D
  • 1
    @crisz "Never ask for a counteroffer" - probably true. I just wanted to give them a fair chance, as I was the only frontend developer in the team. I'd feel bad just leaving, knowing it's hard for them to find a replacement
  • 2
    @TudiKovin It's common advice not to accept a counter offer - this isn't just one of my mad theories (not this time at least!)

    It's very rare people leave for the sole reason of salary. Usually it's a myriad of other factors - and a counter-offer of a higher salary doesn't solve any of those problems. All it does is paint a target on your back for even more stress and possibly for being booted out the door - after all, you've essentially just forced their hand into giving you more money than they want to (or they would have been giving it to you already.)

    Oh, and never feel bad about leaving. Your responsibility is to do your best work while you're there, and engage in good handover during your notice period. It's your employer's responsibility to find a replacement if you leave and make sure the whole business isn't dependent on only you. If it falls apart when you leave, that's not your issue.
  • 2
    @AlmondSauce Yeah that's true.

    In my case, salary wasn't the only thing. The job was either very stressful with multiple customers wanting stuff done ASAP, or very boring periods with literally no tasks. Also, I absolutely HATE the aspect of having to log every minute on customer-related tasks. It seriously feels like they were spying on coworkers sometimes.

    Looking back, I really don't know what made me ask if they wanted to counter the offer. On one side, I really wanted to leave right away. I was / am curious about what the world has to offer, and I just happened to get a great offer at an interesting company.
    On another side, I was scared about leaving the company. I was in a comfortable and secure position, and was afraid that if I would lose this (current) job, I would stand unemployed in a covid-pandemic, where getting a job might be harder. I kinda think it's this last perspective that made me ask if they wanted to counter the offer.
  • 0
    Similar thing happened to me

    Almost 4 years later, they still aren't able to hire someone to do everything i did for that amount
  • 0
    Trying to negotiate with current employer based on an offer of a different prospective employer is ALWAYS a very poor choice.
  • 0
    @Maer true. Looking back, I can see how negative it would look from their point of view. I guess i didn't think of that
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