About["Senior Software Engineer", "Gamer", "Designer", "Traveler", "Photographer"]
SkillsHTML, JS, CSS, PHP
Joined devRant on 6/3/2016
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It's how my co-workers and I quit,
When the incompetent COO joined the previous company I worked for (my previous rants contain stories about him)
Five of us from a seven people team found better jobs (salaries and company wise)
Walked up to the CEO and handed the resignations one after another, stating our reasons for leaving
COO's face was like a coin that got run over by a train3
You think developing websites cross browsers is hard
Try developing emails.
tables, inline css, Outlook developers on drugs, Gmail developers trying to get high, and abandon most of the things you know about modern web standards24
⚪Present yourself properly
⚪Have a basic idea about the company and the role you're applying for
⚪Be respectful and pleasant to everyone when you go to an interview
⚪Day before the interview, go over the interview in your head and prepare as much as you can ( this way you'll be more comfortable in the actual interview )
⚪Figure out and prepare your "Strength and weakness" answers
⚪Don't lie on your resume or in the interviews, if you don't know something, simply say "I'm sorry i don't have experience with that”
⚪Being nervous is ok, but try to relax and answer the questions correctly and clearly
⚪Don't give up and join something that's not worth investing your time5
So far 9 people left because of that newly hired COO ( check my previous rants ), 4 from digital department including the manager
Enjoy making the company bankrupt asshole !!!5
End of adventures of the COO and Start of a new beginning
It takes years to improve a company and takes only a few months for a dumbass with shit for brain to take it all down
After four years working ( underpaid ) in a digital advertising agency helping the company grow, getting global exposure and few awards later, last Friday was my last day
To all the future and current CEO's out there, Don't hire someone just cause you know them, hire them for their skills or their brain power
I've seen fucking clay pots with more brains than this COO2
Adventures Of The New COO
So when that new COO joined our company ( read my previous rant to know that story ) he brought a graphic designer with him
as a designer he's ok, more of a old school package designer type, but as a person one of the most annoying one I've ever met, always want to be included with our conversations, talk about rain and stuff
so few days ago, i was working on a website, headphones plugged in, music playing, he comes near my seat
Designer: Are you busy ?
Me: yeah, I've this website to finish
Designer: So i have this idea for an app
Me: *taking off headphones while thinking doesn't this dumbass know the meaning of busy*
Designer: what if we create an app for super markets, like this isle has this stuff, that isle has soap or something and how it'll be easy to find what you want to buy and keeps going on and on for about 5 minutes
Me: *making my voice as polite and sarcastic as possible*
It wouldn't work, every market has a different layout even among same market chain it's different
Me: have you ever been to a super market, they have a board saying what the isle is above the isle, all you have to do is just look up
Designer: hmm yeah i guess
everyone wants to make apps and make money, but doesn't have the fucking brain capacity to think about the idea for a bit and do some research, instead they come and waste our time2
So our company hired a new COO few months ago, and he oversees digital department as well
recently he called the digital department into his office to talk about a new campaign for a client, and client's mascot is a ladybug, so he goes like this
COO: So i was thinking, we need to make people more aware about the new branch opening
COO: I have a creative / innovative idea, we probably can get an award for this and I'm sure client will be really impressed with this. Why don't we put ladybugs on Google homepage, just walking around flapping their wings and stuff, i mean everyone visits Google right ?
Our Team: awkwardly looking at each other
( I was confused what to think )
Then our designer calmly explained him why it wouldn't work while we were trying our best not to laugh
how the fuck someone like him manage to stay alive all these years and become a COO, i mean he doesn't have to know it all but damn this is common sense10
So we had this girl working with us as a graphic designer, she has a great sense of humor and pretty much impossible to piss her off
So April 1st is considered "a fool's day" here, on March 31 i sent an official looking email to everyone ( minus the seniors ) in our office saying how she's kinda shy about having her birthday on April 1st and everyone should wish her so she wouldn't feel awkward about it
Needless to say her actual birthday is not in April
So when she came to office on 1st, everyone started wishing her and singing Happy Birthday, she spent whole day explaining to everyone that came to wish
It was awkward as hell and pretty hilarious 😂😂10
Probably the biggest one in my life.
TL:DR at the bottom
A client wanted to create an online retirement calculator, sounds easy enough , i said sure.
Few days later i get an email with an excel file saying the online version has to work exactly like this and they're on a tight deadline
Having a little experience with excel, i thought eh, what could possibly go wrong, if anything i can take off the calculations from the excel file
I WAS WRONG !!!
17 Sheets, Linking each other, Passing data to each sheet to make the calculation
( Sure they had lot of stuff to calculate, like age, gender, financial group etc etc )
First thing i said to my self was, WHAT THE FREAKING FUCK IS THIS ?, WHAT YEAR IS THIS ?
After messing with it for couple of hours just to get one calculation out of it, i gave up
Thought about making a mysql database with the cell data and making the calculations, but NOOOO.
Whoever made it decided to put each cell a excel calculation ( so even if i manage to get it into a database and recode all the calculations it would be wayyy pass the deadline )
Then i had an epiphany
"What if i could just parse the excel file and get the data ?"
Did a bit of research sure enough there's a php project
( But i think it was outdated and takes about 15-25 seconds to parse, and makes a copy of the original file )
But this seemed like the best option at the time.
So downloaded the library, finished the whole thing, wrote a cron job to delete temporary files, and added a loading spinner for that delay, so people know something is happening
( and had few days to spare )
Sent the demo link to client, they were very happy with it, cause it worked same as their cute little excel file and gave the same result,
It's been live on their website for almost a year now, lot of submissions, no complains
I was feeling bit guilty just after finishing it, cause i could've done better, but not anymore
Sorry for making it so long, to understand the whole thing, you need to know the full story
TL:DR - Replicated the functionality of a 17 sheet excel calculator in php hack-ishly.8
Dad : Stop playing games so much
Me : I'm working on a project dad, not playing games
Dad : Then what do you call that *points to my 2nd screen on the side*
Me : That's the project, i'm making that game
Dad : Sure you are
Me : *changes bunch of stuff* see...
Dad : Ok i believe you *leaves the room*5
I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS !!!
After seeing bunch of posts about Enki, decided to give it a try,
enters my info on the sign up page
*email address is already taken* : WHAT !!
changes email address
*your username is already taken* : WHAT !!
goes back and search if there's any mails from Enki
*no results found* : Dafuq !!
Requests password reset
*Receives first mail from enki ever, with a reset link*
Did they change their name from something else to Enki or they have bunch of emails in their database to showoff user base ?
Can anyone shed some light on this, cause I'm 100% sure i didn't sign up for this before.
after resetting the password I'm able to login, but in the Notification section it says
*your email is not confirmed*
well i would confirm it, WHEN I GET IT !!10
##Design to front-end conversion
Me - Send me the designs so i can start working it
Graphic Designer - Done ( Sends PSD files )
Me - Send me them separately, element by element, with transparency, color codes and flattened designs not PSD's
GD - Done
Me - Opens email to see elements that should be transparent saved as jpg's
Me - Opens PSD's, crop and save elements.
Meanwhile explains next time do this and that so it'll be easier.
Usually this happens few times a month6
Gives an award winning VR idea to our 'Digital Manager'
Says it's too hard for us to do ( it wasn't ) , goes out and pitches it to another digital agency for 'Help', ( mainly coz of the freelance commission )
They go ahead with the idea and make their campaign with it.
we don't get anything. no credit, nothing.
I wonder how the hell someone become a manager with that much of stupidity.2
That feeling when you think your workflow is bad and happens to see"Professional" Degree level team of coders writing crap code with even crappier workflow