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Some more favorite 'about mes' from users I've talked with in the past:
RememberMe
"Generic McGenericsson"
Real name: Smith, John.
Experience: University
Occupation: Doing stuff.
From: Somewhere.
kescherRant
Skills
"something I guess"
How I feel any given day.
Location
Vienna, Austria
Did you get rejected from art school too?
akshar
"please teach me React before php swallows me :c"
I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL! - php, probably.
SortOfTested
"Building software to make the electric utility industry .05% less shitty"
relevant: If you stare long enough into the abyss, it'll stare back into you.
random