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If languages had slogans...

1) Java -- Buy one get two for free on your delicious NPEs.

2) C -- I burn way too much calories talking, let's do some sign language. Now see over there... 👉

3) Python -- Missing semi-colon? Old method. Just add an extra space and watch the world burn.

4) C++ -- My ancestors made a lot of mistakes, let's fix it with more mistakes.

5) Go -- Meh. I can't believe Google can be this lazy with names.

6) Dart -- I'm the new famous.

7) PHP -- To hide your secrets. Call us on 0700 error_reporting(0)

8) JavaScript -- Asynchronous my ass!

9) Lua -- Beginners love us because arrays start at 1

10) Kotlin -- You heard right. Java is stupid!

11) Swift -- Ahhh... I'm tasty, I'm gonna die, someone please give me some memory.

12) COBOL -- I give jobs to the unemployed.

13) Rust -- I'm good at garbage collection, hence my name.

14) C# -- I am cross-platform because I see sharp.

15) VB -- 🙄

16) F# -- 😴

Comments
  • 3
    I dont get the rust one
  • 3
    Someone got offended by sexism on similar post, it was, "if girls were programming languages"
  • 2
    @synemeup Good at picking up rusty (garbage) stuffs
  • 2
    @GiddyNaya Far-fetched, but okay :P
  • 2
    @theabbie my girl would be brainfuck- i don't know what she's doing down there , but when we're done she'll have fucked my brains out
  • 1
    @synemeup I get the rusty bucket but technically rust doesn't do gc
  • 0
    @hjk101 New news for me.
  • 0
    I still want a language that let's me open a scope with colon and close it with a semicolon and enforces indenting.

    Colon - keeps the style of python

    Semicolon - shorter than an end statement, cleaner, and let's you know where the scope begins and ends.

    It's a nitpick, but it's my favorite nitpick.
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