14
dooter
3y

I recently quit a job which I excelled at technically, but professionally I struggled. The best way to put it is that I was incompatible with my newly appointed manager. My frustration with that manager led to many inappropriate comments that I made in front of him and a couple of other senior leaders. To be clear, I never cursed at them or called them names or raised my voice, but I did make (multiple) comments about their ignorance of projects or lack of experience in this speciality. I’m sure you can tell that didn’t go over well.

Ultimately, my behavior got me put on a PIP by my manager. He explained that I was excellent at the job, but not mature enough to do well. This obviously greatly upset me, and I quit on the spot. I know what a PIP means and I wasn’t about to get fired. I had been at the company for about three years and have dozens of excellent professional references (at this company and others) from as high up as the C-suite to as low as individual contributing peers who I worked closely with. They can all honestly and passionately speak to my technical and soft skills very highly. However, this doesn’t seem to matter in my situation.

Overall, I excel at interviews. Within days after quitting I had over eight different interviews lined up. I made it to final rounds of five and got two offers already (still waiting to hear back from the other three). The offers were both contingent on passing employment and background checks. Well, I gave my references, have no criminal history and never lied on any part of my background or history (though I did not admit to my emotional issues with my previous management team). Needless to say, I was shocked when both offers got rescinded.

One company claimed it was due to a change in the role, and the other told me frankly that the “manager did some digging on my history and unfortunately doesn’t feel like I would be a culture fit.” I looked up the manager on LinkedIn and lo and behold, they are connected with my former manager. This has me worried as back-channel references are super common in my industry, and my industry is not very big overall. My manager appears to be very well connected with many of the companies I am interviewing with or hope to in the future.

I will admit that my behavior previously was very disrespectful and probably deserved the reprimand, but now I feel that I am not able to move past it and learn from this experience as my reputation in the industry seems to be damaged. I’m still fairly early in my career overall and am learning how to handle office politics. It’s been a big struggle for me, but I do get better with each passing year.

Anyway, I’ve decided to wait for the other three final stage companies that I’m in talks with before I officially decide that this manager is my blocker, but assuming he is, what do you recommend I do to get past this? Should I talk to him? As this is all fresh, I’m not sure I can do that now, but maybe in a few months? Either way, I need a job now and can’t afford to go more than two months without a paycheck (and I don’t qualify for unemployment as I quit). What do you recommend I do?

Comments
  • 2
    Yeah, I wonder if you will have to look outside your area of expertise if this manager is gonna follow you around. Can you ask why they are rescinding? Maybe there is something else you are not aware of. Not sure they will tell you. I would think because of demographics you would be someone they would want to hire more. To help with affirmative action quotas.

    I know you know this, but your expressing your opinion to your managers probably should have been a rant on devrant. Sorry this ended up sour for you. Keep applying.
  • 1
    Also, you may not be addressing why you quit to their satisfaction. So they may be asking your old manager exactly this question. Either tell them why or come up with a more satisfying reason.
  • 4
    I haven't been in this situation so take my input with a truckload of salt.

    I would call the manager out privately. Ask him if he shared information about your role and employment with anyone. If he says yes, then ask him to refer them back to you.

    In some places what he did could be considered harassment (very very grey area).

    If he continues to stonewall your applications, call out the company in a round about way on linked in.

    Create the narrative that you were unable to express frustrations with management on the inadequacies of the team and their expected deliveries in your previous position and are still suffering from the toxicity of their culture. That you're still looking for a position and are motivated to move past this situation that you are in.

    Never call the company out directly, but people are smart, they'll figure out who it is.

    If you can be PC with it, you might even be able to get your network community to promote it up enough to get the guy his own pip.
  • 0
    Just found this, might be a bit of bite to backup your bark.

    https://toughnickel.com/business/...
  • 1
    @sariel sort of this. Depends on the country and circumstances. I think there are better ways of handling separation than rage quit. There are hostile work environment issues you could have raised (this allows you to quit and still collect unemployment, in the US anyway), potential gender issues you could raise (did a man being assertive end up in the same scenario?), you could have made the manager rage quit over the PIP process (trust me it’s so much work managing that). So, depending on where you live, the industry, etc you may have recourse…but as vague as this is, I’m pretty sure everyone is going to have to guess what that is.
  • 1
    Lesson learned hopefully? If moving out is ok, you can always try that. If you'd rather not, things will probably cool down after some time. But only 2 months?! Can you try freelancing in the meantime? Or try remote work offers, for companies that are far enough and less likely to be related to your previous manager.
  • 4
    Moral of the story: Never make emotional decisions.
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