Details
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AboutJack of all trades, master of none
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Skillsnode.js, python, ruby, php, c, asm, typescript, react, vue, angular, terraform, sql, docker, linux, bash, adobe cs
Joined devRant on 12/1/2018
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I'm managed by idiots who don't fully realize the nightmare they're creating.
They're making small operational changes, but hundreds of them with zero evidence to back their claims up.
When I bring up how it actually works, and how operations actually work I'm told I don't use the tools as much as management does and that my feedback is limited to how I use the tool.
So now I'm just gambling that they won't fuck up too bad before I get that sweet sweet sellout money and just letting them fuck everything up they want without any warnings from me.
I'm quickly learning that the phrase of the year is, "Fuck em". -
Looking for platform specific language options for a new project at work and reading articles from well known sources.
If you start your article with something like, "when I think of a good programming language, I think of JavaScript", I'm going to punch out of your shitty opinion faster than an async function.
When you're trying to convey an unbiased message you generally don't start with, "I'm an absolute shill for {language}".
What the fuck happened to journalistic integrity?8 -
Does anyone even use AWS CDK?
I saw something about CDKv2 getting released and immediately made up my mind about it and just want to validate my opinion.
I'm having a hard time thinking of a case where I would need to use yet another layer of bullshit to deploy cloud infra.
It's bad enough with terraform(which I far prefer over cloud formation). But now you can use python or node? What's next, deploying with XSLT?
I'm partially ranting, because I know someone on my team is going to show this as the "new thing" and I'll be stuck maintaining my code...as code--and that really pisses me off.
I'm also legitimately curious on how many of you have run across this being used successfully and for what problem did it solve?10 -
So I need to ask this because I've never experienced it.
Recently many of my colleagues left for greener pastures and now they're posting on linkedin once a week with some bullshit about how awesome it is to work wherever they went.
If this was one or two I wouldn't care, but it's like 90% of them vomiting this blatant brain-swill for almost 3 months now.
My suspicion is that these people are being coerced into posting this garbage. Am I correct that many companies these days are doing this now?9 -
I'm on a call collecting requirements to a feature request that was developed last year, deployed last month, and nobody has a fucking clue about what's going on.
I'm also getting told that my requirements won't work, when they clearly will.
What's fucking crazy? In the time that I have wasted on this topic, I could have already written the fix.1 -
Peace and quiet.
I'll play some smooth jazz or light classical, sit in my beanbag chair by the window, and take a 30 minute nap.
When I'm done, either the problem isn't a problem anymore or I have figured out a solution to my problem in my sleep.
This is something pretty new to me since wfh started and is one of the many of reasons why I will never go back.4 -
God damn fucking Windows bullshit.
Why is the fuck does Microsoft HATE its users?
Latest updates, and no fuck Windows 11, completely BREAKS all of my WSL environments.
Home directories are gone, or the environments are corrupt and won't even run.
99% of the issues these dense shit-fucks cause are because they RaNdOmLy reboot for their dumbass updates instead of scheduling them with the end user. During these rebots, do you thing they wait for everything to shut down?
HELL NO!
They just shut that shit down like they fucking own it. Editors? Gone. Browsers? Gone. WSL Consoles? Gone. Docker containers? Gone. IEdge? Hey, we have great news, we made IE your default browser again! BTW, your upgrade to Windows 11 is free until we force you to upgrade!
I'm so fed up with it.....so fucking tired of it...
The only reason why I even use WSL these days is to ssh into my Linux devices or run some quick dev tests in containers. Why not use PuTTY for SSH? Because it fucking SUCKS that's why.
I'm feeling so many emotions right now over bullshit that shouldn't even be happening. I'm literally at the point that I'm just going to install Linux on this device and just create a Windows VM on one of my hosts so I can still do "work" things that involve leadership.18 -
My level of frustration with Microsoft is growing to a point that I'm unable to contain it.
They buy Github, it was a great tool for developers because is FUCKING WORKED! New features were never beta tested on users unless they requested it.
Why in the absolute fuck am I getting all these new experimental bullshit features that literally make it harder for me to do my god damned job?
They provide me NOTHING but grief and sleepless weekends while I fix the god damned pipeline that's worked perfectly fine for YEARS.
Your business model is bad and your products are SHIT.
Fuck you Microsoft, I cannot even stress it enough. If I had a time machine that could go back 5 years and my options were: Tell the world about Covid, make sure Trump never became president, or stop the Github purchse. I would hunt down and brutally attack the team of executives that decided to buy Microsoft.
Words cannot adequately describe how much I want Microsoft to fuck off. If the company was a person and they died in a house fire it wouldn't be enough.
I just want a VCS that does what it's supposed to do. I don't need pipelines, I don't need image repos, I don't need static code analysis.
I JUST NEED A FUCKING VCS THAT CONTROLS VERSIONS OF SOFTWARE YOU IGNORANT FUCKS.20 -
What the absolute fuck were you thinking Microsoft?
You're doing everything you can to ensure that those who continue to use Github are flogged and castrated?
What the fuck happened to the SSH clone link that was so easy to keep in all you had to do was *checks notes* fucking NOTHING.
It makes me question choices I have made over the last two years. Like, why don't I just host my own git server at this point? I have a couple servers running and it would cost me next to nothing.
Before anyone says anything about GitLab , I looked. I would be spending three times what I am now if I used them.
At this point it seems like a futile attempt to stay with you. I'm going to start calling you ShitHub now because it's a place where I can't get shit done without some kind of new shitty "improvement".
2022 is lining up to be a spectacular year!
Fuck you Microsoft.8 -
Don't forget, docker desktop will require paid licenses after 31/1/22
Docker Desktop remains free for small businesses (fewer than 250 employees AND less than $10 million in annual revenue), personal use, education, and non-commercial open source projects.
Just a friendly reminder to fuck docker and migrate to a better solution.27 -
I used to love my job.
Then I disliked my job.
The people I worked with kept me at my job.
When those people left all I had was my dislike.
Now I hate my job.
And I'm really starting to hate the people I work with.
I'm not even sure I even want to keep developing anymore, but at this point I couldn't support my family any other way.
So I'll stay smouldering for the next 40 years, in a career dumpster fire that's long lost its magic just so I can give my family a better life.12 -
Can we just for a moment recognize how absolutely fucked Windows update is?
I have done everything, EVERYTHING, outside of booting from a live Linux OS and permanently deleting the windows update executables. All this to stop windows from force updating and rebooting my system while it's locked.
I've killed services, schedules, edited the registry, changed group policy. I even set my wireless connection as metered. Fun fact about that, if MS deems the update to be "priority" they'll download it anyway and reboot, so fuck your data-cap.
I wouldn't have a problem with it IF they would put everything back the way it was before, but those fucking cucks can't even be bothered with doing that. But you bet your fucking sassy ass they start up all the bullshit services I disabled last update are all running.
I don't even know WHY I even try.
Doesn't matter anyway, in a few months I won't even be able to use half the tools I use on Windows for work due to licensing issues 🤷♂️
At that point I will give a big fucking finger to Windows 🖕 and use a VM for all the fucking work related bullshit.
Fuck you Microsoft, I would say it's been fun but you're a god damned disaster. I wish that I could send a message to the entire MS board on how much they have failed, but unfortunately I rather like my freedom and it's frowned upon sending rotting roadkill in the mail.23 -
I cannot even function right now with how angry I am. If you're a python developer, don't take offence to this unless it describes you.
All the python devs I have ever met so far are pompous arrogant cucks that can't even get out of their own way to save themselves. They make EVERYTHING so fucking complicated and complex that the whole point to a project becomes moot.
Instead of understanding HOW a thing works, their answer is ALWAYS rewrite it how THEY want it to work.
They have what we used to call "little-man" syndrome. They're so concerned that they aren't perceived as intelligent that they overcompensate by making the wildest and most fucked up changes to a project I have EVER seen.
They have gone so far as to break the original functional components of a project just to meet THEIR definition of a healthy python project.
I don't hate the language, but GOD DAMN I HATE THE DEVS.
If this describes you, fuck you. Seriously, just fuck off into whatever python hole you crawled out of and stay there.6 -
Simple 1 day task. This idiot takes two weeks and after 7 days of hounding finally opens a pull request.
I go in to review the code. Should be a simple 10-15 line patch.
13,000 lines of code changed.
THIRTEEN THOUSAND!
"I fixed a bunch of formatting mistakes and replaced all instances of single quotes to double. Consistency is important you know."21 -
What in the actual fuck GitHub?!
Why can't I edit a file direct on the web UI? I was able to this morning! If I can't edit against master then why the fuck is the icon there?!
Also, why did you add the unnecessary step of "add tag" when I am fucking CLEARLY adding a new fucking tag.8 -
Thanks GitHub, it's not like I didn't have shit I had to do today.
Guess I'll just sit back and wait for the heat dome to kill me.5 -
Just going to come out and say it.
If you wait until 4pm on a Friday to hit me up to fix your problems, you're a fucking gangrene twat.
I won't be taking care of your shit until Tuesday you dumb bitch.4 -
As a Ruby dev I know I've been spoiled. It's so fucking easy to natively manipulate data in a Ruby app.
But seriously...come the fuck on Python...
You mean to tell me that I have to script out the entire logic to dedup an array?! Something that's an inherent part of EVERY project?
Sorry for the rant, but I just cannot fathom why ANYONE would use Python to write a full application. It's great at scripting, but a shit-stain-to-maintain for true app development.
I want to drop-kick the asshole who decided to write this fucker of an app in Python.
Also, fuck Python for taking ~20 years to add a fucking switch statement.19 -
Fuck you and your shitty updates Microsoft.
I never asked for a fucking weather app on my taskbar.
Why the actual fuck would I EVER need that shit? I have that on my phone already, same for my news, and literally everything else you try to molest me with.
Want to know why Linux is growing market share? It's because it's an OS first and not some husk that shoves content at you and screams "CONSUME ME!"
FUCK YOUR SHITTY UPDATES, AND FUCK YOUR PLATFORM OF PETTY METRIC BULLSHIT.30 -
First, I want to say don't look this company up if you've never heard of them. I really don't want to be a reason to drive more traffic to this company, because I really don't trust them.
So someone gifted me some coffee called Javy Microdose Coffee.
The reviews online are obvious plants and there was a hard social media promo going on for the last few months, so I'm already not interested in even trying it.
The packaging and colors scare the shit out of me, and the bottle itself doesn't seem to have a break seal on it. Besides that the bottle itself reminds me of the bottles of poison that were around when I was a kid.
My questions; has anyone on here ever consumed this terrifying bottle of liquid? Is it worth it? -
Fuck uninspired jr devs that are simply collecting a pay check.
I have been handed a project that a jr dev was allowed to wallow on for over two fucking years. This lazy mother fucker managed to create 5 functions, a whole fucking mess of bullshit that I now have to straighten out on top of the 8 other things that I have to deliver on in the next month.
They never followed requirements. Not-a-one. The API is fully broken. The DB schema is BEYOND fucked. There's ZERO validation/sanitation on I/O. The deployments only work half the fucking time. Their code is so spaghetti I'm getting triggered from when I worked at Olive Garden with Eminem. But hey, at least they were able to demo it to the client to say "it works".
I don't condone violence, but every time I find malformed if statements, linter exceptions, broken deploy configurations in this project -- I just want to kick them in their stupid fucking face.
Wherever you ended up you piece of shit, I hope your dreams of becoming a rich asshole only bring you unending despair. I believe you can make it though, because you're already halfway there.5 -
I would give myself so much shit for this.
Sales cloud architect, if I needed the money.
I give sales so much shit, like you've got no idea how much shit. I almost lost my job because I called the sales team at my job "soulless husks of meat and sin".
It's not an easy job but damn I was really fucking good at it.
If money was no problem, I would probably become a restoration artist.
I love to restore old homes, furniture, tvs, radios, etc. -
In the before times of 2019, one of the guys in the office had this habit of sucking his teeth after lunch.
I can hardly describe it. Imagine making kissy sounds but with your tongue and teeth. Did this almost every day from 1-2.
Probably happened every 1-2 minutes. So just long enough to get back into the swing and boom *thick*.
I just invested in some really nice headphones eventually.2 -
I updated a date field on a table with about 4 million records in it.
Only meant to update about 1000 of them.
This field is used to generate QBRs. So the executive level would notice first.
But then.... They didn't. Nobody noticed. Not for almost a year.
Then someone asked about it and I told them what happened, and they never brought it up again. -
I've been having a tough time at work recently. I've been struggling with what I have become and what I want to do.
My voice used to carry quite a bit of weight, but as of late I'm no longer being kept in the loop of changes that are happening to my product.
Realizing that I'm slowing being phased out was like a punch to the scrotum. It has made me depressingly aware of the time I have wasted on this company.
All while I was wallowing in my own self-pity, as if on command, Youtube spit this gem out to me. It made me realize that I'm still that bright eyed eager developer just a bit older and a bit wiser. It reminded me of something that I thought I lost, but what I've always had.
https://youtu.be/cNbnef_eXBM
What we do is an art, it takes years of dedication and study to hone our skills. Don't let the bastards get you down, and just like Bowie said -- Never play to the gallery.
You got this. -
Dear Product Owners,
If you tell me how I need to architect my software again I'm going to ask you to provide a network topology of the architecture you want me to build.
I'll also need you to request the new servers, work with the ops teams to setup credentials, provision the NAT, register the domains and document the routes that the proxy will need to use.
then I'll need you to hook the repo up to our non-existent pipeline so that I can make sure I won't do all that testing I already can't do.
I hope you're paying attention, because that framework you told me I needed to use is going to be a pain to setup correctly.
after you're done with that, please attach any documentation you shit out to the ticket you never created.
Enragedly yours,
Looking for a new job
PS: get fucked4