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Liferant. I feel annoyed If I compare my efforts to efforts of my "friends". I put 500% more in my self education, my career and professional life and I earn just a tiny bit more. I don't even know if I have friends anymore. We do not have a single thing common. While I want to develop, learn something, build something useful for people, they only want to drink, going out etc. Before we had some lan parties some game night but it was long ago. I lost any interest in travel and parties. I don't enjoy alcohol, I still consume it when I'm with them because there nothing else to do. I also become vegan about 2.5 years ago and those bbq`s are just pain in the ass. Plus I heard the sentence "show me your friends and I tell you your life" - uff.. I had never a single person who I knew personally and who has similar mindset like I do. Shall I start to look for friends? Even the thought feels kind of pathetic to me. I'm a freaking island in middle of the society who is trying to make it better but it's fighting against it with full force. I'm tired. I'm not suicidal and I still enjoy the life, but I'm crazy alone in what I like to do.
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