1. Buy boxes of orange juice, almost past their expiry date.
2. Put boxes on the hot office windowsill for a few weeks.
3. Cool down juice in fridge.
4. "Hey dear coworker, would you like a refreshing juice box on this hot spring day?"
5. Watch coworker retch and vomit, spitting blue-grayish juice over his desk, crying: "Why would you give me old moldy juice without checking the date?"
6. "Do you remember when you told me you didn't have time for unit tests? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, DAVE, THIS IS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS WHEN YOU DEPLOY UNTESTED CODE.... NOW FINISH YOUR JUICE!"

Seriously, why? WHHHYYYY?

US-date-format sucks, every FUCKING TIME!

The only time I really notice is when the "month" is larger than 12:

05/13/2017
"5th of Dec... oh. Fuck. Not this shit again..."

(It makes no sense. Absolutely none.)

I was at school working on my school project.

I receive a message from my girlfriend:

"How is called the hacker thing?"

Me: "what?"

Gf:"yeah the black thing"

Me: "what black thing"

Gf: "found it, it was this" *sends a picture of cmd*

Gf: "my classmate is hacking" *sends picture of cmd with 'dir' command on it"

I was crying from laughing.

Me: "try to write this: %0|%0"

Gf:YOU ASSHOLE, MY COMPUTER IS FUCKED UP"

Me: "this is 'real' hacking"

No sex for a week, but I still think it was worth it.

A little summarised story for ya:
>Makes a rant
>Gets over 200 rants and rising
>Steady rise of increments over weeks
>Gets to 283 increments (hope of getting to 300 for a stressball)
>Updates app
>Literal update log:
"Stressball limit is now 500"
>Cries in a corner

Google: "Please prove you're a human."
Me: "Hello Google, I'm human!"
Google: "Prove you're a human..."
Me: *Stabbing my finger and dripping blood on the computer*
Google "Prove you're a human!!"
Me: *Crying, laughing, expressing feelings*
Google: "Prove you're a human I said!!!"
Me: "4527"
Google:" Thank you."

Found this guy at my school who was trying to impress n00bs around the place by using Inspect Element in Chrome to change the content of webpages. He was claiming that he hacked the website 😂😂😂 I'm still crying

If you think you know the most idiot person in the world, you haven't met my brother.

His brain absolutely can't comprehend anything!

He forgot his Roblox password and told me to do something. I said I can't do anything about it. Then he yelled at the top of his lungs saying, "you don't know technology! You're too stupid and selfish. Fix it!"

I said I can't do anything about it. He throws the mouse at me and says, "I never get to have fun. You ruin my life!"

He's not a little kid btw. He's fucking 14.

Today my mom forgot to pay the wifi password, and she thinks its better not to pay it today so it can stop my brother from playing games. (He plays it from morning to night. No homework, no cleaning, no nothing. Just games all day.)

So he told me to fix it. I said I cant. There's nothing I can do. Then he punches my arm really hard. (He's taller and stronger than me so it really hurt) then he threw a shoe and said, "you're useless and stupid! You have your laptop so you can have fun but I never get to have fun. You ruin my life, and I hate you. I hate my life."

Then he ran to mess up my room by tossing things from the self, removing clothes from my closet, and messed up my bed. He pushed my sister, pulled my hair, and ran to his room, slamming the door.

Please. Please someone give him a brain! He desperately needs one. I said I can't fix it, and that my mom has to pay the WiFi bill, but he thinks I'm being mean.

He has the mind of a 5 year old. Dropping to the ground crying.

Friend: Hey! How do you uh... alt tab out of the game?

Me: *wtf* Uhhh... You press alt tab.

Friend: *after 10 seconds* Oh! That’s why it is called alt tab.

Me: *crying laugh emoji*

Went to visit a friend and I saw this. Here I am half hour later still crying.

Sorry if I make a typo, my hands a still a little shaky, just had to stop myself from crying.

This morning I came in, opened my email, saw an automated response from Jira saying .... saying ..... saying the backend team provided details about their new endpoint.

After a year of screaming, they finally did it. It was so beautiful I fell to the floor and wept like a baby.

Thank you all for your support through this difficult time. Together we can accomplish anything!!!

Okay, so get this..

1. I made a hacking simulator in Python2.7
2. I am relatively 6-8k lines in, ready to release EA ALPHA-1.0.0
3. I try to do a test build, and am flooded with errors.
4. I do research into the errors, and apparentally I coded my game in a way that makes it imposible to compile, and have to start over
5. Rages, Crys, and downloads this app.

I broke up with my Girlfriend at restaurant and She started crying, everyone thought i had proposed so they started Clapping. 😂🤣😎

Translating things:
ME: "Hey dev, can you send me a xml file of strings to translate so you can impleme..."
DEV: "yea yea tomorrow"

He sent a .docx file.

i'm crying

So, rage time.

A few months ago I inherited a big Wordpress website, with around 750 pages.

The client has reported the main menu is broken.

Upon looking at the code it appears the previous "Wordpress Developer" (ahem ...) attempted to rewrite navigation system - no idea why.

As part of the 4000 class below is a screenshot of part of the file where he's determining if the current menu item is active, within a loop. Whilst the whole if statement spans 409 lines - the code basically continues exactly the same downwards.

Shameful :/

When I turn off my laptop and the mouse starts blinking because it is trying to connect to the host I imagine a young boy in the fields shouting "Papa? Daddy where are you? [Crying] Papaaa"

If you have to program in JavaScript, don't forget to drink water. Excessive crying could dehydrates your body very quickly.

Yesterday, one of my friends said that his phone has a 12MP Processor.

I'm not angry, mostly sad.

At my workplace we don't use git.
There are constant overwriting, sending code via email or USB stick and forgetting passwords to zip-files shenanigans going on.

I already use git for all my local projects (literally git init in the directory) but my coworker and I thought that it would be a great idea to have a local server with a Gitlab running on it.
So I started looking into running a self-hosted Gitlab (for about 15 minutes) and then our boss who was sitting right next to me almost shouted at us: "Such stuff should be coordinated with the boss! We don't just do something and burn my money because it's _cool_!"

No, git is not cool, it's necessary for crying out loud! Gitlab is cool but at the end of the day also just another tool too.

I guess I have some persuasion to do.

I don't know what version control has done to our boss that he has such a deep dislike for it.

!rant

*in slack*
Me: Team's gonna watch IT. Wanna come?
Friend from other team: Yeah, sure!

*in cinema*
Friend: WTF! Why is this I.T? This is scary as fuck!
Me: I-T? It's "it". HAHAHAHA It's a remake of the It 1990 movie.
Friend: I don't know anything about that. I'm scared as hell! I thought this would be some tech stuff and crying in the server room or something!

That moment when a friend was talking to you about an artificial intelligence he is building that is supposed to be a voice assistence and "even better" than Cortana. After a long time I asked him for the code like I wanted to check out the revolutionary techniques of machine learning he was talking about. So here is a short part of the 600 lines long "voice logic".
I almost started crying 😂😂

I'm a Python dev, yet 99% of my work over last 3 weeks has been JS. How do js devs not sit in the corner of a room crying at the end of a day?

I am crying. Love you baby.

I am So Humble!

Others: There is a hackathon soon! Participate, bro! You will do well!
Outer me: Nah, not now.
Others: Why?
Outer me: I am doing other things now. Don't have time.
Inner me: (crying) I dont have the skills to participate yet.......

A young man was walking along in the forest, when he heard a muffled voice crying for help from behind a log. He leaned over to see a frog sitting in the mud.

The frog looked up at him and said, "I'm actually a beautiful princess, and if you kiss me, I'll transform back into my true self, and be yours for eternity."

Silently, the man scooped up the frog and continued on his walk.

A minute or two later, the frog piped up again, "Hey, buddy, maybe you didn't hear me -- I said, if you kiss me, I'll turn into a princess. What are you waiting for?"

Annoyed, the man stuffed the frog into his coat pocket.

Shocked, the frog yelled from inside the man's pocket, "What the hell? I'm a princess! All you have to do is kiss me!"

Opening his pocket and peering in, the man said, "Listen -- I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog is kind of cool."

Not sure if CoreOS folks are laughing or crying (CoreOS -> Red Hat -> IBM)

Oh boy...

So my mom just responded to an email saying her email account would be deleted if she didn't respond to it by typing in her email address...

And the password to that email address, her SSN, and her bank account number. Now I have to fix it. For crying out loud...

Not just developers but this pisses me right off.....

Guy gets upset... Slams pen on his pad... Has to go and have a half hour discussion about his 'attitude'

Girl gets upset... Starts crying... Everyone else has to get lectured about what made her cry.

Both emotional outbursts but apparently one is ok and one isn't.

*For the record no pens or pads were harmed while 'researching' this rant

*We colleagues were cursing Valentine's week*

Team Lead : Committed?
Me: No, I am single.
TL: *confused look* Did you committed that code?
Me: ohh yes! I raised the merge request as well.
TL: Ok. I will review it. *Moves away smiling inside*
Me: *looking at screen* *crying inside*

Why is the contributing manual of your open source project more thoughtfully cultivated than your code style guide and testing procedure?

Why the fuck do you care about the message in my PR, or even merge vs rebase of commits, when your spaghetti-tomatosource is so richly saturated with critically minced bugmeat?

Why are you standing there, shouting at me about your convoluted rules, in your little brown uniform? Why do I feel like the enemy when I contribute a useful fix, something which makes the code work better?

You know what, fuck all of you, you jilted acetous neckbeards, I will deploy my secret weapon, I will bypass the power you hold over your tiny fascist digital dominions.

If you play it like this, I will summon the nefarious vile side of Open Source. I will usurp your throne. I will stab out your crying eyes, rip out your conceited tongue, impale your lonely heart.

Tremble before me! I wield the almighty, legendary Fork!

The king is dead, long live the king!

Me: "If today's demo to the client goes well,i will get my first cheque"
My server:"If today i stop working,it will be great"
Android Studio: "If i force a gradle update,it will be just fine".

*crying*
Fuuuuuck.Why nothing goes my way when I want it to????Whhhhyyyyy??

The 4 stages of collaboration:

- Stage1:
Hey dude, I setup some online docs and left some instructions / discussion points in slack, but you haven't been logged in. Can you login and have a look when you get a chance?

- Stage 2:
Oh Hey, did you ever get a chance to have a look at those docs / discussion points?

- Stage 3:
Hey, look this is due by close of business tomorrow, can you take spend an hour on it before you leave?

- Stage 4:
*loads shotgun* HEY YOU! ... sit here, login to that ..... STOP CRYING AND HURRY UP ..... see that right there? thats missing your input, you have 15 minutes left ... GO!

I'm fast approaching stage 4 and loading my efficiency shotgun as we speak.

We all have that kind of friend who is losing his shit , screaming , swearing , crying , whenever the code doesn't work as planned.

Where do I even begin?

You all know the story. I was handed this lovely out of date Django site and told to set up a development environment. This, with ZERO python or Django experience.

It has one document. Which was wrong. There was no indication of what versions of anything was correct. There was a network of 8 sites strapped together. There were three revisions of every single template stuffed into one massive folder.

Oh and did I mention, the database, static files (including media) and Django site were all on the same server with debug still active and using the development settings file.

I think I died during the process somewhere.

My coworker just put in his 2 weeks' notice. We're already down a person. I have a wedding to plan and have in ~1 month.

I'm a wreck. Im sitting in my office crying right now while on a call for a dumb reason

Coding nightmare -> the guy who wrote this application I guess wanted job security? At the VERY least to be a pain in the ass to anyone else who touches his code....WHO NAMES THEIR VARIABLES PEOPLE NAMES?!?!? do I know what "Beth" or "Sarah" stand for? ummmm....no 😢

Poor Dijkstra is probably crying in his grave because my professor calls him "digest-tra" 😢 feelsbadman

Me: ooh my eyes hearts, I have to sleep now, I fix this tomorrow morning.

(go to sleep)

Inner Me: hey
Me: ...
Inner Me: pisst! wake up
Me: what?? leave me alone I'm tired
Inner Me: remember that issue you had?
Me: yes?
Inner Me: this is how you can solve it
Me: great thanks, I'll fix it later
Inner Me: no no you have to fix it now
Me: I'm tired, I'll fix it first thing in the morning
Inner Me: no no you'll forgot it
Me: no I won't, let me sleep
Inner Me: no no you'll forget and I won't tell you again
Me: look I write it down in my phone now leave me alone
Inner Me: no no you have to fix it now.
Me: *crying* for God sake...

(gets out of bed and try to turn on PC and it's not starting, realizing that the power is out)

Me: you happy now, I fix it tomorrow.
Inner Me: no no stay awake till power is back on.
Me: SHUT THE FICN ON PICK OF CRAPE. Did SHDUHDBD DBDJDB

Y'all can stop crying now

I'm a computer sciences student, so I had to work on a group project at the end of the year. This project had a very big impact on our ratings, and many students were working really hard on it
One evening, a friend of mine knocked at my door to seek for help, she was too depressed to keep working on the project and needed to talk a little bit
After a little talk, we worked on her part of the project together. We managed to finish it just in time and send it to her teammate (they were not using git, our school never ever talked about it so they did not know what it is)

The next day was the d-day, every group had to show the teachers their projects
I arrived in a room where everyone was trying to fix the remaining bugs before their turn
And I saw my friend, almost crying. Her mate changed everything in the code we worked on and everything broke. There was not enough time to merge it again, they were stuck with a non functionnal soft
Obviously, he kept telling everybody it was her fault

Just go to hell, you fucker
I can't even understand how you did have such a stupid idea, now she needs to repeat her year because of you
Fuck you and don't ever come in my sight again, you selfish brat
Just because you know you will pass does not give you the right to fuck with another person's ratings

I wanted to create a tiny game in SLD2.
Friend made me do it in OpenGL.
Do it in openGL he said.
It will be easy he said.
I cant stop crying.

!rant

*sigh*
I got rejected today by a company I really wanted to work at. In my opinion the interview went great, but now I feel terrible and defeated.

I keep trying to keep a tough act around my girlfriend..but I feel like crying, so I decided to share this with you guys..

**First Day of Internship**

PM: Our only supported browser at this company is Internet Explorer.

Me:

Real Linux fuck up coming up.

Be me.
Working on a project.

Accidentally used sudo with git pull, every file now is only accessible for root users.

Thinking to myself.. okay I'll just do chmod 777 to the current directory

Forgot how to use chmod
At first something like
Sudo chmod ./ 777

Not working
Maybe
Sudo chmod / 777

Not working
Remembering that it's the other way around

sudo chmod 777 /

Now... I fucked up. I forgot the dot, and for a sec I forgot that '/' means root directory and not current like './' does.

Few moments later the permission system of Ubuntu is utterly fucked. Everything is not working.

Need sudo in order to fix everything but sudo isn't working.

Few hours of crying later,I solved it thanks to some nice ppl online helping stupid people like me who used that command...😂

Stack Overflow. Everyone uses it but everyone seems to hate the community. I very often read about someone getting down voted and they all say the same thing - "I have no idea why".

I have spent a lot of time moderating SO posts, which gave me a lot of reputation and medals. I find it fun to help people and it feels good to give back to the community.

I have asked a bunch of questions and I've never gotten a single down vote, which leads me to believe everyone of you that is constantly getting down voted are doing something wrong. Because the posts I see getting down voted are fucking stupid questions that either lack information or contain too much information.

Example 1:
Server java error

Why is my server not working? I am using Tomcat, port 8080 and I'm getting IOException.

Example 2:
Webpack configuration not working

My webpack is not a working, why?
[entire webpack config]

End examples.

What the fuck are you expecting asking questions like these?? No one gets paid for answering your questions, so the least you can do is write a CLEAR AND UNDERSTANDABLE question. I'm not gonna tell you how to do it because there's A LOT of information on how to do it.

People devote hours and hours to helping others on SO, and of course they get fed up with the stupid and lazy questions. That community is not about being nice, it's not about making people feel welcomed, it's about QUALITY OF CONTENT. No one is crying when they find a superb question + answer, right? That's the result of a community not accepting low quality content.

So please, the next time you get a down vote on SO - do not come here whining about it but instead take a look at what you have posted there and ask yourself if it could have held a higher quality.

Thanks!

Just earned enough points to be able to comment on StackOverflow......I feel like crying....

Been working with some remote freelancers that my boss has hired.

Guess what I've found in their committed code?

I've not seen someone as sloppy as this guy right here.

Just fuck me already.

Don't you just love it when you're told to redesign something and, when pressed for design scope and specifications, the people involved say "Oh it's all in my head don't worry."

But I do worry. Because I can't read minds yet and designs like that are unusually fickle. HOW IN THE FUCK DO I DESIGN SOMETHING WITHOUT SOME KNOWLEDGE OF ANY DESIGN?!

I sometimes encounter developers who try to be serious all the time and be super rational at everything and have a pride in never smiling. One time my friend was crying and her dev boyfriend went like "I am a developer and I think rational, the way you think about X........." Dude shut the fuck up and hug her! Nobody gives a fuck about you being a RoboCop right now. The fact that you lack emphaty and emotional capacity doesnt make you a mighty god, it makes you a fucking asshole.

worst interview was about 2 years ago. I found this job as on a famous website, I applied for a desktop dev. position...the job seemed really easy, after 10 minutes the so-called CTO asked me:" how much do you know C hash?" me:"what?" him:"C hash...the Microsoft programming language" I thanked him for his time and went home crying ( he meant c# )...after a month I found out the company had gone bankrupt...I think I know why..

A client sent me a message this morning asking for a change to the software I'm developing.

It's Sunday, right?

Keep this between us, but I got sexually assaulted in a work party by a very old guy who worked at the venue.

I didn't bring it up because a) I had already resigned from that company and was on my notice period, and b) I was going to leave the country in a few weeks and couldn't be arsed having to think about it on my vacation or even after.

Still pretty awkward with myself because after that, the very drunk me got emotionally unhinged, went outside and cried my eyes out for no reason. 😐
Like, it wasn't even the worst assault that has ever happened to me so what was the hysterical crying and panic about ffs?

In Italy (Milan)🇮🇹, job hunting is a fucking hell for misfits like me:
• Young(26)
• 1 year(working) experience + continuous learning/improvement at home
• Skillful and adaptable full-stack
• Willing to do greater things with software without being payed like a monkey

This is the last week working at my current company (from which I rejected the renewal of the contract for 26K€/13 months) and almost every time at a new interview everyone tries to down sell me by default or because of the fucking little time that I've been inside companies without even looking at my skills/capabilities.

Also many little companies made by the CEO and a technical manager that are looking for someone from which being provided food 😒(metaphorically).

(On another side, in one month, me and my gf need to move to a new apartment, the renting process sucks, and she has issues to find a non-slavering job because she is a foreigner(with good knowledge of English and Chinese) with very basic understanding of Italian and I see her crying often in my arms because it's hard and stressful for her to become economically independent as she would like to be)

One time a former colleague reformatted all the code because he was very strict on code conventions.. so.

If (1==1)
{

Instead of

If (1==1) {

After some discussion on why he should never do this I denied him the rights to commit any longer..

Also..

One time a user requested a feature.. he wanted a drop down with some values without specifying where he wanted it. To our best knowledge we put it somewhere where we thought it would be usefull.. for instance when it is a car model drop down ypu expect it to be somewhere near a car screen right.. little did we know that he didnt have any rights to acces that screen at all hhahaha.. after that he came yelling in our room telling us to think for him.. in not so light words I told him that he should write his stories properly and that if he creates crappy stories he leaves me with a lot of freedom of interpretation of his stories so stop crying and get the fuck out of my room..

Its not that I get angry easily but I cant handle dumb people that do dumb stuff around me..

Spend 5 hours debugging why my curl request in PHP was giving 302 status code, and why my postman was giving 200 for the same request.
Then after crying a lot, I realized the URL was wrong in PHP.
*I totally want to smack my head on the wall*

My 3 months old son. A very effective rubber ducky when he's not crying

I work as a freelancer on *****.com also I have published a theme on theme***.com
Yesterday a indian client message
Client: wii you be able to help me to install a wp theme and customize it to my liking?
Me: sure why not, send me the link to that theme.
Client: here's the link (link to my theme)
Me: (oh i will make money from both side :D ) do yoy bought a license ?
Client: (shocked) who need license , download it from *****.com
Me: (crying in background)

My less than a year old is trying repeated times to make his head go through a window glass, and crying after every attempt.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH HERE KID????????

That would be the time when i got fired from my last job. Hosting company, it had lots of good stuff and bonusses, coworkers were great, i was doing really important stuff when suddenly, i got fired and replaced... 'You have a too strong personality, sometimes you're just too outspoken'... At hearing those words, i felt very sad. Took a few bottles of champagne from the fridge at work (they had those apparently a year already, nobody touched them)... I left the building, together with two coworkers who became friends, drank the two bottles of champagne... i was crying... Because i got smacked in the face due to my personality. Admitted i am an extravert, and i do dare to talk back when it's needed, always polite, but ensuring i was not agreeing. Still i did my job pretty well. I was practically the only one that was multi-lingual!

After that i became a freelancer. It was a good start, a lesser good intermission, but next month i am starting at a goverment department for long term, so future is looking good.

Currently developing an android app that is a clone for an existing iOS app. Sadly all the PMs and POs (the P-M/O fraction) at this firm are somehow iPhone users.
So every time we implement stuff according to android guidelines some PMO comes around and asks: "why doesn't this look/work/smell like in iOS?"
Somedays I feel like crying...

I'm not sure whether to cry or to burn everything to the ground.
I'm stuck in a rotten, over aged corporate that will one day choke on all the documents and formalism they require. Which is something I'm generally fine with. Each to their own.
But ever since I handed in my resignation they have been fucking me like I have never been gang raped before.
(A little context: I work for a midsize financial institute. Which at least in Germany are full of legacy projects and are regulated as all hell.)
So some fuckwits decided that since the regulator slapped us hard 2 years ago that we need to make up a new standard of documentation that has to be used for all IT-documentation there ever was and ever will be.
So the upper management (the before mention dumb-dumbs) choose some consultant company and locked them up together with the brightest stars (read biggest slime balls) of the IT department in an ivory tower and told them to pull some out the ass.
And one year later (early November last year) they got the shit they ordered. Gilden shit, only the most sparkly and non-sensical bullcrap you could imagine.
But they only looked at it and deemed it good. Now the guys actually in charge of the the applications got served the dish. And guess what they found out when started to dig into? Nothing but contradictions, non-final thoughts and all of that held together by web of retarded, unusable guidelines. But they ate it, they cursed but they swallowed forced by disciplinary punishments waiting should they misbehave.
The only one emerging fact was: All previous documentation was completely invalidated.
But now the mighty lords in the ivory tower guided by the never failing hand of the higher management had the greatest idea of them all. They needed someone to check all the documentation till the end of this year but since they blew all of their budget on useless wankers ( oh, ofc I meant "highly qualified external help") they now preyed on the lowest in the food chain. Which is where this story goes full circle and comes back to me.
I was the lowest rank on the food chain, a student that just handed in his resignation.
I was the first to be locked up in the basement, my co-student followed shortly after.
And now I'm going to spend my last 2 months looking at checklists that we had to pull out of the slime's ass and validating hundreds of thousands of pages of documentation. We get grinded up in the endless hate coming from the guys that we need to tease and are held in position by a wall of sheer idiocy on the side of the rule makers.
Today I cried when I had to tell someone that his magnificent documentation was not standard conform and had thus no longer any meaning or right to exist.
Thanks you for those that made it this far down. I hope you never have to feel my pain.

At work. Everything is broken.
Boss is crying.
So am I.

Got rejected and humiliated during a job interview by a team leader. Depression hit me so hard that I began crying as soon as I got out of the company building. I feel like there's no place for a fucking noob like me.

90% of rants about CSS are just people who don't even know CSS2 properly and never heard of CSS3.

That's like crying about not having a nice car without even owning a drivers license. Bullshit.

!dev

So I am really light sensitive.

I woke up and went downstairs to go eat some food. But somebody left some lights on.
So.. I walk into this room, not realizing how bright it was. Then within a few seconds, I was uncontrollably crying and on the floor because of the pain. Then I managed to crawl over to my desk, grab my phone, and crawl into a dark room (with my eyes closed). Then I just sat there staring at the wall. Eventually I turned my flashlight on and covered it with my hand, then increased the brightness until my eyes adjusted.

It sucks. This happens almost every morning. And also when I step outside.

Any suggestions to help make the effects worse?

That moment when you show a funny devRant to your group of friends and you sit there crying from laughter while they just look weird at you because they doesn't know how to code. I think I need a new group of friends...

Such a effective way to ask for permissions! I couldn't say no to a crying kitty :'(

So he is in the “elite” team as a “Sr” dev and i’m in the normal team as a ssr dev.

He: Hey look, the ‘F’ case is empty and doesn’t return anything, can you help me? This is some old code and we have to add some features.

Code:

Switch(string) {
case “J”:
case “F”:
cade “D”:
// some code
break;
// more code
}

I’m crying

An important message:
PrOpErLy managing servers is HARD.

I get pissed off at customers with ZERO server knowledge who think they can manage their VPS. “Just get a control panel and a VPS” from some flashy provider that makes server management look way too easy.. Clicking around in their fancy control panel, until:

- they need help with their *self-managed* VPS;
- their email ends up in spam;
- they suffer from performance issues;
- they need to restore a backup;
- something breaks, because YES, things break

Way too little people are able to answer:

- when and how do you make backups?
- how do you monitor your servers and which services?
- how do you keep track of trend analysis?

Then I come by with necessary software. SNMP for trend analysis, Graphite for infrastructure health, Sensu for monitoring, Kibana, Ansible for configuration management..

Things that servers need but that customers have never even heard of.. because they can do everything in their control panel..

Until they come crying to me because it broke and they don’t even know how to get into SSH.

I think the ones to blame are VPS providers that tell the tale of how easy it is to install a control panel and never look at your server again.

Customers become responsible for something *business-critical*! Yet they don’t know how it works.

"Eww that is not Dev-related!"
Shut the fuck up. For me, devRant is a social media for developers and not a social media about only dev-related shit.

"devRant is a fun community for developers to share and bond over their successes and frustrations with code, tech, and life as a programmer!"
You see?
"for developers"
"about code, tech and *life*"

For fucks sake... Stop crying around and just dislike it if you don't want it.

Found out I had two days to write this crap for an 8086 in class. Our instructor doesn't even know assembly. I stopped crying after the tenth jump.

You are all invited to the SPI-Party!!!!

*crying.... this is not my job, i am less than a noob around here 😭😭*

I have one! Once upon a time (about a year ago) my mom went online shopping on her own. Her husband was out of town and so she had no assistance. At about 10.30 pm she called me, freaking the fuck out that she entered her credit card details on a sketchy site and they charged her for more than she ordered. She was in hysterics, didn't know what to do. Superwoman to the rescue, I tell her to go and deactivate her card and jump on a train back home (she was crying on the phone she was so scared, couldn't just leave it until morning) fast forward an hour, I'm in my hometown, she picks me up and we head home to check out the situation, and... She had just received the email invoice twice. They hadn't charged her twice, just some email mishap made the email appear twice and she never thought to check her bank account before summoning me home 🙄😂 we laughed for a while and I got a home cooked meal so it's all good but Jesus christ mom. What would you honestly do without dad?

One of my high school classmates, who is in med school, after learning some basic Python, once tried to psychoanalyze devs for saying Hello World in their first programs.

"Why do programmers always have to say 'Hello World' in their first program?" Lea mused. "Like why is it the default? Do programmers have this mindset that we will say 'Goodbye World' eventually?"

"Because that's what it's in the tutorials." I simply replied. "Nothing Freudian or Jungian about it. That's just it."

"Well what's the philosophical reason behind 'Hello World'?" She mused. "Is it the programmer's equivalent of a crying baby after being birthed?"

"Nothing Plato-ish or Aquinas-y about it Lea, lol. It's just 'Hello World'!" I laughed. "Hello World is just a sample string."

"Why is it that programming tutorials use Hello World, then?"

"Well did you actually say 'Hello World' in your first program?" I, a real dev, asked.

"Yeah, did you?"

"No. My first program per programming language is always 'Maganda si Jenny kaysa sa inyong lahat!' (Jenny is prettier than all of you!)."

There's nothing psychological about Hello World, Lea. 😂

Aw shucks.

Boss: We need to make a site but the content will have bolded words where the user can hover over to see more for each term.

Me: Ok sounds simple.

B: It's for a client and we aren't gonna touch it in the future so make it simple.

M：okay... so no JavaScript?

B: That means we are only going to send them HTML and nothing else. Here's a list of the images they have.

Me:......

Now I have to make about 80 pages of pure html with inline styles on each page.

10 minutes coding.. 60 minutes debugging... 5 minutes crying.. 5 minutes distracted... Finally the answer come and I resolve the problem.

By crying and not giving up

Having a baby while starting an IT company and learning IT at the same time.

Found myself crying and swinging a bat， listening to Limp Bizkit as i remembered what it felt to be 13 and being made fun of coz i hadn't kissed a girl yet.

Everyone's crying about big bad companies using innocent graduates by offering them a few non-paid internships. But when it comes to mgmt manipulating devs into non-paid overtime by questioning their estimates, noone sees a problem.

For fuck's sake, you are the devs, YOU and ONLY YOU can do tech estimates, not the mgmt. You are nothing close to a developer if you allow them to manipulate you like that. Just a dummy coder at best. A puppet with no backbone. An amoeba. You are DISGUSTING and a disgrace to developers' proffession.

Start acting proffessionally for once!!

Once I've worked in a start-up located in an engineering university "incubator", so we had a lot of engineer-to-be students applying for part-time jobs.
One of these kids was hired by my boss who labeled him "highly technical, very skilled in IT".

One day, while very busy with my own upcoming release, I had to help him finding a bug in his (horrible) code.

Me: Oh, that's easy, you need to load the image from the parent directory
Guy: ...
Me: You know how to do this, right? You're 1 exam away from being a computer engineer
Guy: ...
Me: Ok, ok, don't worry. Just type "../" right before the path

The guy starts typing, literally, "dotdotslash" into the path.

I immediately stopped him, almost crying. Then, I asked him to go for a walk.
"Don't mind about your bug, I'll take care"

Just received this beauty by a customer. They "made some changes to the HTML". WTF?! Also, alongside was another docx called "printscreen.docx" with only a picture and nothing more in it. I would really like to laugh, but it would evolve into sad, depressing crying.

(Sorry for the "screenshot", but this is on a very restricted Winshit laptop we got from the company who buys our stuff.)

one of my kids has a sleep problem, night terrors.

she wakes up in the middle of the night and just screams and says nonsensical shit.

we live in an apartment and our understanding old pieces of shit neighbors have complained already in the past.

no matter what you do, she'll increase the intensity every minute. you can hug, you can sing, you can ignore, you can try to soothe. She'll still screamcry.

We also have a 8 month old that obviously reacts by crying.

So imagine that, you're there, calmly sleeping, well into your deep sleep, and suddenly a symphony of pain and suffering visits you, and destroys your emotions in a couple of minutes.

I'm not even fully conscious to adjust. It just strikes me really hard.

I think it's a 6 in the scale of mental pain for me.

Anyhow, other people have a higher threshold, this is my experience.

Devs that think they're better then you in coding.

We were complaining on how bad the code of our teacher was. He showed us how to connect php to mysql, so he splittef his code into multiple powerpoint slides. On one slide there was the mysqli connection variable called '$conn', on the next slide there was the same code where the same variable was called '$link'.

So we were complaining about it when one of my classmates came out with 'yeah like when he executes a query, you can't save the query in a variable in a string an then pass it to the query() function'.

I spent a good 10 minutes explaining him that you can and doing so your code will cleaner.

He continued to say that I should let use php to real coders, and continue to focus on my shit java.

I was crying from laughing.

"AJAX is a football club isn't it?"

Defeated, not sure if I should be laughing or crying...

Arghhhh!

The screen I'm looking at that is supposed to be the documentation portal for an API I need to consume :(

I was like 4 at the time, it's one of my earliest memories.
My parents called me into the room with the brand new computer and my name was on the screen and they "yelled" at me for writing my name on the screen. I don't remember my reaction I assume crying and saying I didn't do it. And they just laughed and showed how they did it with ms paint and how I can play with paint too.

PSA.

I have established "Depressed Lonely Maggot" Club. Our symbol will be an ugly crying maggot.

You are invited :3

Chrome is getting its ass whooped and then crying like a whiny bitch.
Using 90.1% of CPU.

PS: I have a i7 8th gen processor.

My neural networks journey so far:
Look up tutorials -> see that Python is a popular tool for ML -> install Python -> pip install scipy -> breaks with some weird error involving BLAS library code -> spend half an hour fixing it -> try installing Theano -> breaks because my USERNAME HAS A SPACE IN IT LIKE SERIOUSLY? WTF -> make new account without a space in the name -> repeat till Theano -> run tests, found out that I didn't install CUDA support -> scrap the install and redo with CUDA support -> CUDA libraries take forever to download on shitty internet -> run tests -> breaks with some weird Theano compiler error -> go crying to friend -> friend tells me about Anaconda -> scrap the previous install and download Anaconda over shitty connection -> mess up conda environments because noobishness -> scrap, retry -> YESS I FINALLY GOT IT WORKING TIME TO DO SOME LEARNI-crap it's 4 in the morning already.

I realize that I'm a Python noob (and also, uni computers with GPUs have preconfigured Windows installed only, no Linux), but is installing Python libraries always such a pain? Am I doing something wrong? Installing via Anaconda felt like cheating, tbh.

I'm a guy and when the migraine hits me I feel like crying. Is it normal for a guy to cry, coz I'm not able to handle this pain.

> reboots PC
> goes to work
> goes to hang out with friends after work
> comes home 14 hours after rebooting PC

FML... damn thing even has an SSD in ir for crying out loud

that moment you type mkfs.ext4 /dev/sdb instead /dev/sda.
And the result is that you just formatted your backup hard drive... (yeah I'm still crying)

Who here is programming with React Native and is crying about it?

It's so volatile. Shit it has done so far:

- Randomly changed my IP location that it serves to and npm start that shows the welcome information keeps the old IP address, so I spent way too long trying to figure out why it wasn't working.

- Constantly having to rm -rf the node modules and npm i them because Expo randomly starts loading so slowly that you want to scream.

- Downgrading my react-native-scripts version in the package.json because it hangs forever on the starting packager.

- I also had to downgrade my expo dependencies because during one of my node module reinstalls, it would update the version and apparently Expo is incompatible with its own updated version.

And now I'm randomly getting an error that's apparently a known bug in one of the react dependencies and now I have to downgrade that as well.

Just. Why.

Don't start crying when you feel programming is not for you. Learning new is always hard. Just "behave" like a Rhino.

Hey, Unity!

I love you and how your bug system works, but can you polish your errors?
I don't have any experience in programming and I am only a level designer.
I have no idea what this error meant so I begged to my boss crying that this FATAL error popped up.
Then my boss comforted me with pizza and coke.
I just realized that my boss is better than Unity.

I'm sorry, Unity. I was just about to buy the Unity license, but I changed my mind to just use the [personal edition and hack the dark theme by hex edit.

Best regards,
cozyplanes

(* This is a real e-mail sent to Unity Help Center *)

Fuck. I'm fucking alive. The past month or so has been hectic. I've mainly been working, sleeping, or at school (not like I've showed up much lately anyways, maybe 12 days or so since the middle of February).

!dev

I'm fucking tired.

Bought an FX 8350 with the Wraith cooler for my desktop, got it for $70 when normally it's about $140 or so. Gonna replace the PSU and case when I get paid on Saturday, cause I don't have to pay anything with this check, so it's all to myself. Cut myself putting a heatsink back on my motherboard, still hurts 3 days later.

My "best friend" is still not talking to me. But she's been talking ABOUT me. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. I'm done with the whole situation with her. It's just her crying over every little thing.

My rants tend to be about my personal life, and this one is no exception. I just have a lot of shit going on and I need to get it out sometimes.

After hours debugging code... find out I was connected to the wrong DB :/ **crying in java**

If you didn't think NodeJS dependency hell was that bad, you should try sequentially parsing a graph that's stored as an array of nodes and their references, where processing of said nodes forces you to use some async functions that depend on other async functions.

What should have been 20 lines of code written in 30 minutes has turned into 3 hours of horror, reading about babel, realizing that it's just adding more problems without solving one, assessing the effort of modification of async libraries to include sync methods as well, trying out asyncwait, async, and everything else there is, trying to rethink the recursive algorithm, rewriting it several times, cursing and hating myself for not choosing to use Python or .NET Core, screaming senselessly at my wife in a language as familiar to her as Klingon, crying in the bathroom, re-assessing my life choices, thinking whether it was a mistake to dedicate 10 years to this career, maybe I'm just not cut out for it since I can't handle this simple task, watching noose tying tutorials on youtube, thinking about my naked empty RPI that won't connect to the server any time soon.

Seriously. Why is it SO BAD?! Or is it just me?

#FuckPHPInTheAss

>Start working on PHP after ages.
>Found that mail() is deprecated through server support
>they suggest to use PEAR Mail
>Suggest to use deprecated PEAR code
>Fix deprecated code and magically runs on localhost
>ohmygodyess.php
>try to run on server
>fuckMyLife.exe
>Try using PHPMailer
>WTF is this How the fuck this works?
>Spends hours to understand with example code
>WorksFinOnLocal.exe
>NopeIWon'tRunOnServe.lulz
>about to use YiiMailer.

#Sleepless

f**king people asking to design admin panel colorfully with these f**king psd images, I was like literally crying inside, I have never seen such a damn f**king admin panel. f**k off managers

This was the most difficult decision in my life. But finally it happens. I hope I get well soon.

I can pretty much hear my phone screaming at me. My battery is crying.

So my teacher wanted to play a movie cos the class got good test results, and so she asked me how to play a movie on her laptop and get it on the TV and this is how it went down...

Teacher: Sukhi, do you think you could help me.

Me: Yea sure, what do you need help with

Teacher: So I want to play a movie tomorrow but I don't know how to get it up on the TV

Me: Oh its easy just get a HDMI cable and plug your laptop into it.

Teacher: Oh yea I have like 6 of those. Ok then see ya tomorrow.

*The next day*

Teacher: Hey Sukhi, heres the HDMI cable. *Pulls out a AUX cord*

Me: *laughing and crying at the same time*

Boss: oh so you are working on that unrealistic 3week project ? Let me also assign you some completely unrelated office work.
Me: But I'm a programmer, researching other companies and contacting them looking for new projects is not part of my job descrip...
Boss: oh don't worry I'm sure you'll do great!
Me: that's not what I'm sayi...
Boss: ok I have to go now, have it ready by tomorrow!
Me:(crying internally)...ok.

Having to deal with legacy code is fucking terrible. Worse yet when there is basically ZERO documentation and what little documentation there is, is wrong! Not just wrong, contradictory.

I have spent far too long trying to decipher what I need to make everything fucking work. Having to figure out if they used Gunicorn or UWSGI. Whether they used MySQL 5.6 or 5.7. Whether they wanted me bent over or crying on my knees.

when you have 6GB worth of unused kernels on your machine and your machine is desperately crying for MOAR storage space!

VSCode you fucking piece of shit!

Just got my code working and rewarded myself with tweaking some of the configurations. Coming back to my file and it's all irrevertably messed up with randomly pasted and probably some deleted code snippets.

How's that even possible? 😡

Mfw you try out Atom and it crashes the moment you open anything even slightly big. Then you try to close it out and reopen it but it decides it should start off right where you left it-suspended in time... doing absolutely nothing.

On another note, it looks beautiful, has many extensions, and is highly customizable but it gets bogged down so quickly.

It feels like no matter what i fucking try at this point, the universe is doing everything in its power to stop me from succeeding.............. I got so fucking depressed that i am literally writing code and crying in the same time.........

When you go at your first IT internship and you realize that a SQL database could be way bigger that anything you could had imagined.

Then I showed the schema to one of my database engineer friend and he laughed at me. :(

When your total cost of the item you bought on Black Friday is cheaper than shipping.... (cries in the corner)

Added a bond interface in my Proxmox installation for added cromulence, works, reboot again, works, reboot once more just to be sure, network down.. systemctl restart networking, successfully put the host's network back up.. lxc-attach 100, network in containers is still down apparently.. exit container, pct shutdown 100, pct start 100, lxc-attach again... Network now works fine in containers too.

Systemd's aggressive parallelization that likely tried to put the shit up too early is so amazing!
I'm literally almost crying in despair at how much shit this shitstaind is giving me lately.

Thank you Poettering for this great init, in which I have to manually restart shit on reboot because the "system manager" apparently can't really manage. Or be a proper init for that matter.

/rant

And yes I know that you've never had any issues with it. If you've got nothing better to say than that then please STFU. "Works for me" is also a rant I wrote a while back.

Why do the java people say that java is superior over C#, when in fact it is more or less the same language? I never hear C# guys crying that their language is better, but I hear java guys all the time. And the fact is even that C# has more language features IMO makes it a better language. .Net is more or less the same as the Java API but we have had DateTime objects and a lot of good things, that Java is now copying, for a long time. Just curious on some ideas why Java is better now and forever no matter what times infinity, but why? And if someone is so stupid as to write that Java is the better language without reading this far then that proves my point. ps. Now that .Net and C# is being open sourced there is not the open source argument anymore either

!dev
What I feared is happening.
I will barely see my gf for some time (until summer).

I just feel like crying, wanting to do a lot of things with her, barely getting to do so.
On one hand, I have a gf, on the other hand, fuck my life for worsening good things that happen to me.

P. S. if any of you fuckers unironically complain about the fact that I have a girlfriend (and you don't), go to hell

Oh for crying out loud. Master/Slave has been the defacto way to describe dependent interactions between electronics since the birth of the silicon chip. Even IDE used to implement it as a standard for running multiple devices over a single cable. Just because a handful of fresh faced 18 year old kids think the world owes them a soap box and a rock to hang themselves over, it does not mean the world has to bend to this oversaturated retribution complex that seems to be affecting every college student lately. Grow the fuck up.

Well I WAS going to develop a side project on my day off today (a network of Arduinos and a Raspberry Pi) but the woman my wife hired to clean our house flaked-out, so now I get roped in to fucking housecleaning.
This was going to be an awesome day. Was gonna work on my project, chew some tobacco, and then go shooting, and out for wings for dinner. (where I live, chicken wings can be an entire meal)
Now I'm cleaning the shitter and scrubbing countertops because the little precious snowflake of a cleaning lady is in the middle of a (so-far) 3-day emotional breakdown.
Dear snowflake cleaning lady: Fucking learn IPv4 socket programming on the fly, when you've got an imminent deadline, and a crying, teething baby in the next room, at 3am, and don't fucking lose your cool at any point during all of this, then tell me about your fucking "emotional breakdown."

Guys!!!!
Guysss!!!!
And girls....
when your stoned and drunk as me, please watch "This is Not Happening" on youtube....
I'm crying here of laughter...
OMG
The bear... Oh , To baad no more bozze

I hate windows update

...He hired a shit dev who did the same work in 3 times less than what I asked for.

He's now back crying to fix his Fuck up.

You ask how I know he is shit. He SSH-ed into the server. Worked directly off the production files. Worst of all, he installed phpmyadmin, changed the db structure without even writing a fucking migration !!!

How the hell am I supposed to know what he changed!! It's gonna be a long night 😥

So..me and my dev companion (a small rat terrier) were playing tug with a small rope today, and while playing, the little guy accidentally bit my face. Split both my lips badly and I was pouring blood. I've never seen such a sad dog in my life. He was upset that he hurt me. Ended up having to go to the hospital and got two stitches. Only thing is, the doctor was horrible. Shaking like a drug addict going through withdrawals. He numbed the complete wrong place, and so I could feel every movement of the needle. It was horrible. I get home and guess who's waiting at the door crying? Yep, my little dog. I lay down on the couch and the first thing he does is curl up next to me and fall asleep. Even though this experience sucked, I still love my little dev buddy.

I'm crying-

And idk if I'm crying from it being so funny or so sad...

Forwarded to me by my boss, found somewhere on the internet, creds to who made it

Goodbye, a night of work!

I just typed "rm * .sh.*" instead of "rm *.sh.*" for deleting the logs from a bunch of qsubs. Yes, I removed the logs... as well as the rest of the files in the folder.

Now, probably because of the lack of sleep, I'm laughing to keep myself from crying.

No more code for today!

I kno my strengths

When clients calls me, and tells me that the website is broken.
client: It won't upload my pictures, says that file size is to big.

me: How big is your picture?

client: How do I check that?

30 min of explaining and a him forgetting to charge the laptop.

Client: It says 32 mb.

Me: Yep that's way to big, won't work for a website.

Client: How do you make them smaller?

Me: Crying.

When I was studying computer science at university (second year). There was a girl, I'm not sure if she was crying or angry after this, but I didn't expect that.

Just to put some context, this girl was still asking "what's the meaning of i++?" in second year. And during a re-sit exam, the teacher who was asked the previous question, was the one who monitored the students.

And the girl made a mistake (it was something usual though) . She asked the teacher something that she didn't understand. Which means that she wanted the teacher to help her with the exam, but I'm not even sure that she realised that. And the teacher said : "You still can't do that? I gave you this exact problem during lessons and also at the first exam! Well don't worry... I'll give you the same next year :) "

Not really nice for the girl, but hopefully I didn't hear it directly or I would have laugh a little too much x)

So my startup warned me last night that I would have to pitch. Goddamn guys, really?! Pitch for a minute in front of ... PEOPLE?! WTF were they thinking?! I'm a fucking dev, not a HR guy for crying out loud

It is exactly 4 in the morning and instead of sleeping i am crying so hard because the regret of going to college is eating me alive..... I feel like such a wasted fucking potential, a failure who can't provide money for my family in need because i focus studying shit i will never use for over 4 fucking years....... I can not fucking describe how much i regret going to college, i can safely say i would rather go and fucking die than go to fucking college........ Can't even sleep from this fucking bullshit i feel i am wasting my fucking life and losing my fucking mind on this.............

Just sitting here, crying I have no money... And system76 has so many good deals...

!shortRant

You all complaining about shit code from coworkers and about fucking WordPress. Looks different, but know what? Answer is the same.
Money.
Let me explain.
For example, you were born in USA. You can choose any profession, and if you became pro - you will be payed great. Looks nice, isn't it?
But if you were born in Russia, India, somewhere in Africa, whatever, you can be businessman, coder or you can suck a dick to the end of you life.
Not that great, yeah?
You are looking around and see great people with their own dreams and talents. But then you ask them "to which faculty are you going?" Answer is obvious. And that's how shitcoders are born.
And yeah, about WordPress. I'm mobile developer, I just can't understand how awful it is (or not, idunno). The only thing I know - if I were PHP developer, I could earn twice more than now. But why I didn't choose that way? Because I REALLY LOVE MY WORK. Everyday is good, I'm working at weekends often, because I want.
So please, shut up. You could never work with WordPress, but you motherfucker CHOOSE IT. You could switch to node, go, Java. Why the flying fuck you didn't? Oh yeah, MONEY. So please, shut up.

Devrant isn't for crying girls complaining about shit they did themselves. (No sexism, just metaphor, sorry girls)

There was a workshop about git in our university and I was the teacher.
After teaching main concept of version control and git commands I was talking about open source community and github repository. First I should notice /pul/ in my language means money.
When I was talking about pulling changes from repository one of the student raised his hand and ask me "Why they would give us money?"
After seconds of silence I had feeling between laughing and crying

Looking for some advice....

So I'm a web dev that works remotely full time from home which I love, I'm expecting my first child in late march which is really exciting but I'm starting to think about how it's all going to work with the missus home for at least 12 months and of course a baby that (without sounding horrible) is going to be a big distraction to me when I'm trying to work.

So just wanted to know if there was anyone else out there in a similar position or that has gone through the same thing and how you did it? Is there any advice you can give me?

Appreciate any thoughts.

After a failed brew.sh upgrade none of the nodejs packets were working anymore. I've spent the whole day googlling, reinstalling, cursing, asking for help, crying - without luck.

My boss got angry because he wanted that site yesterday.

Now i'm forced to clean install my mac tonight. I'm so tired.
Fuck!

Anybody who is crying for slow machine issue. You can do this think.

1. Replace your HDD with ssd (256gb in 3500 INR)
2. buy DVD shape hdd holder (cost 700 INR)
3. replace DVD with this case

Benefits :
Speed up
No need to worry about data backup

Enjoy

My boot time of window 10
3 mins to 15sec

I have a cheap crappy drone and while not using it I hang it on the smoke detector. Neither the drone or the smoke alarm have batteries.

I glance up and see a light flashing, freak out, shoot the drone...lights still flashing and I realize it's the smoke detector. Fuck that, there's no batteries. I shoot the smoke alarm and it explodes...battery lands at my feet still intact...

...the alarm is dead, the drone is crying, the toaster is laughing and I can't figure out why the fuck I shot my drone and smoke detector but the toaster doesn't phase me.

(Some of this is actually true)

I just realized this.... And I thought I only spent my Valentine's Day with devRant this year 😂

Ranting after many light years (oops that's a unit of distance)

Damn Damn Damn.

There is complex workflow engine, and the only thing I know is once you fix and get success response from method A(), call method B().

After 2 days and nights effort, method A() is fixed and I am getting success response.

Now, when I pass this response to B()

One data is missing and hence failing.

Where the hell is that data getting kicked out...

I am in a dead end. I don't even know where to look.
Pinged engineers for help but all in vain till now.

Working on one of world's largest system, and I am miserable in debugging with this system.

And the worst part is there is nothing that I can turn off and on so that it works.

(Don't blame me. I am not that dumb. I just started using it since 3 days)

Just did an internship test for Autodesk and came away from it with the conclusion that I'm really stupid.
May as well give up on my dreams.

Ugh, I know I sound like an u grateful little brat, but summer holidays just aren't for me.
I hate wasting my time on the beach.
I hate the feeling of skin burn.
I fucking despise people that don't give a flying fuck about other's comfort and blast Disco Polo on their own JBL speakers. Even though there's music provided by the hotel.
Also babies, babies everywhere, crying and dashing around. My head hurts when I think about flying back. And I LIKE airplanes. But not when every baby and their mothers are crying on the top of their lungs.
Winter is so much better. Skiing is great and I don't have to worry all the time about getting skin cancer.

Hi everyone,
I got an hardware question. Im planning on getting a personal home server. I want to use it as a small gitlab server, continues integration, and the like for personal projects.
It has to be power efficient otherwise my dad will start crying.
I want it to be relatively cheap and running linux.
Ive got no clue what the best thing todo is. Should I get a prebuild one or build one myself.
For prebuild ones, what brands should I look at?
For a custom built what hardware do you recommend me?

I'm crying

So these days (since yesterday), I am using an iPhone. Mom’s phone broke and she wanted an android, and I wanted to fiddle with iPhone... So she took my OnePlus 3 and got me an iPhone 6s.
I like iOS as long as it works.

But... I FREAKING HATE that the App Store has country specific rating. You will only see the ratings/reviews of your countrymen.
Whose frigging brilliant idea was that!!! 😡😡😡
Now I have most apps (like beam and narwhal for reddit) showing as unrated.
M so pissed off at this 😩😩

I tried to run android studio on ubuntu. My graphics driver isn't compatible with ubuntu and my computer has 4gn ram. The computer has been crying for 2 hours now and it won't stop.

We are at the end of the school year, at least in France.

This is my recap of this shitty year.

My school try to teach programming, and that’s just a try.

Some of the dudes do not event know what a variable was.

For a second year university diploma, they don’t teach OOP, no Git, no DP, no JS, no clean code or whatever.

So at the end of the year, you’ll be able to code in procedural, no versioning, spaghetti code and a big mess in folder structure, lack of interactivity because of poor JS knowledge.

Well a codebase which makes you crying blood, literally.

And that’s what a second year university diploma ...

Fortunately for the most curious there’s so much to learn out of the school but, damn, why are some schools so retarded ?
For almost 8k€/year you just receive a piece of paper and you’re still a shit in your *suppose to be* job.

Two years ago, a government agency hired an applicant with obviously lesser experience (a fresh graduate for crying out loud) than mine for a developer job (with 13 years of foundation). He was hired because he had connections inside this agency.

Recently, I heard that this guy is starting to be a pain in the neck. Who wouldn't be?!?! The guy has got connections inside. He's untouchable. And it's irreversible. Sad story.

TFW you hear noise from the kitchen at 2AM, you go to check it out and it is your brother opening a can of SPAM, getting the content out of the can, chopping an onion (crying while doing so) and then just holding back laughter all the way back to our room.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Fuck the feelings of powerlessness and helplessness. when a friend comes crying for you for help with their hacked account and you keep asking them about what they did to protect it in the first place and they reply with nothing, no recovery email, no recover phone, no secondary verification, NOTHING. and you can do nothing but stand there and watch them cry while you can literally do nothing because there literally nothing you can do to retrieve their stolen accounts. FUCK BLACK HAT HACKERS.

Not exactly a dream abour coding but my favorite instructor in college.

I dreamt the secret police came to arrest him on campus since his methods teaching cod were unorthodoxed.

As they were leading him away I was screaming and crying - “He’s the best teacher here, what are you doing!”

weird

6y old me writing to santa I want a computer.

He brought me a calculator :D

Crying to parents that's not what I wanted, he corrected his mistake next year and brought a clComodore64.

I guess they knew for quite some time :)

I just had a nightmare I spilled my gin inside my computer. Might be putting that back under my desk... And not leaving drinks on my case with an open top...

So I was watching Your Lie in April while waiting for Android to build

Let's just say that wasn't a pleasant experience after NDK OOM'ed the exact time the saddest part happened

IM NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING ;_;

Quantum Made all of my favorite extensions useless. I am crying.
Can anybody help me find alternatives?
especially for KittyKeys!!

That fear of messing up an already flawed program and making it more fucked up.
The lack of confidence is real. T.T

Came to my parents house for the vacation period and forgot to push the code i was working on my computer. Now i sit with my laptop crying.

So instead of crying, what if we create a new open internet? We could call it NettyMcNetface (NMN). 🌐 It'd be free for everybody and open for all content under all existing and new open licences for free and paid content, for personal and business use.

The only hiccup: it must be completely disconnected from the current internet. A complete reboot on a new physical network.

Does article 13 apply to that too?

Oh, and I bet there's already some initiative involving an alternative open network. Any tips?

I'm really crying right now while reading golang projects/libraries.CANT F**ING FIND WHAT INTERFACE/S WERE IMPLMTED!!!! Help me Oh Lord!

I'm a java dev btw.

Classmate was crying, I asked her several times why are you crying. She kept saying I won't understand. I asked why can't I ?.
Because you never loved someone.
My DEV ass got triggered, and said have you ever tried Linux and Visual studio code ?

Wanted to make an account on Payoneer to get paid from 99designs for the stuff I make there.

Entered my password, got error.
"Please use only the latin alphabet, a-z and 0-9"

SERIOUSLY, it's banking stuff. how can they not allow secure passwords? *sitting here, crying"

I think this code was written with onions.

!dev
Was looking for an anime to watch this evening, looking into netflix recommended:
Guilty Crown
Nah i dont wanna cry today
Charlotte
I said no crying
Clannad
....
Angel Beats
I SAID NO CRYING OKAY?

On a digital marketing course.
Teacher:
"Web pages are made of structured content and style, that's HTML and CSS. There are also many programming languages, like JavaScript or Python, but we are not discussing those here because it's computer freaks stuff. Now let's talk about cookies..."
Me: Should I kill myself now or wait until that man stops saying shit an die killing him too...?

I have a first date tonight, but production is smoldering and about to catch fire, and it was my doing. I get 5 people coming to my desk every minute asking when's it gonna be fixed. my supervisors think I'm enjoying this because It's delaying a feature. I'm not. I feel like crying, and it shows.

Have you ever had to get over someone? I don't mean in a relationship. I mean having that person betray you in a way that shows that they are beyond help?

That's what I'm dealing with right now. I'm not crying I've skipped: anger and denial, I've breezed through bargaining, right now in the middle of acceptance and depression.

Now I'm having a hard time admitting I had feelings for her at one point. 🙁

Currently Listening To: f*** You by Cee Lo.

GameDeving.. soon my boss asks us if we can use CI, we make unity fully function with jenkins, after a week, he asks us to use gitlab ci, we make it, 2 hours later he sees the results: "yeah.. forget about ci.. let's use the cloud build".

i'm crying.

What the fucking fuck is this bullshit?!
I feel like most journalists don't even have brains.
I wake up and I can't fucking turn my head or move my arms so I try to turn on TalkBack with my left hand since I can't fucking see what's on the damn screen of my phone. I google something along the lines of "jammed neck muscles" and as I am in so much pain that I am involuntarily crying I start to search for some way to limit the pain. "Jammed neck muscles? Try these few steps!", you open the page and they proceed to put 10 pages of non-sense in front of the actual steps - every single fucking article. DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE THE IQ OF A CENTIPEDE?!! After 12 minutes of this shit that I had to listen to I just said fuck it and somehow managed to throw myself off the bed and onto the ground - where I landed on all four and was somehow able to stand up and grab some Theraflu forte(apparently paracetamol is the best cure for jammed neck muscles and I know that there are 1000mg of it in one packet of theraflu) from my cardboard box full of meds.

I do operations on null objects to attempt to explain why my world is always crashing.

Then I resume coding. And crying.

Notice how the Apple code samples have moved from the very well designed Objective C to a mature Swift... (sorry, typo, manure Swift) Swift 1.0, wait 2.0, no hold on 3.0, oh yea 4.0. It's a moving target for their developers with code samples all over the place...

Once Swift stabilizes, sure, ok, force everyone and everything to change (seriously?).

Apple, why the FUCK do you think we want to deal with your beta crap forced down our throat? Its bad enough the language is an inconsistent illogical mess but having to come along with you for the 'we-don't-have-a-clue-what-we-are-doing' ride is utter bullshit. Leave the GOD DAMN Objective C samples up for crying out loud.

When you think you're ready to start with tensorflow and you end crying in a corner ...

!dev

Just got done watching Netflix’s new 10 part series ‘Maniac’.

It’s by far the weirdest, most emotionally charged thing I’ve perhaps ever watched.

I spent a solid 5 minutes just crying my eyes out at the end of the final episode.

I can’t recommend it enough.

Opened my PC today...found my local disk empty...170gigs of data lost...
Feel like crying...hope Recuva works

the amount of times my client change their minds this week is insane.. I just want to finish this project!!

That algo though so funny lol hue hue hue (crying emoji) (crying emoji) lol hue hue

I am officially crying because of xcode, all I want to do is sign the fucking version and get on with my life, arghhhh WHY APPLE???? WHYYYYYYYYYU??@?#!@?#!@??@@

What is VIM? And why is it so bad?

I see a lot of users here crying over VIM.

I Googled it and found it to be clone Bill Joy's text editor for Unix.

Google gives me answer, but I am looking for a response which I can only get here.

Thanks in advance.

The guy who leads the Objective Programming classes/labs told us that we have to make a game or an app to pass this semester.

I was so hyped, I've instantly started reading up on creating a 2D engine in C++ (which I don't like as much as C# but that was his conditions).

..as soon as I've created base for the engine, he said that the first version has to be console based.. so I'm like - okay, how do I show my 2D _graphical_ engine in a console?
So I came up with showing basic vector maths like movement towards a bearing angle and whatnot.

..now I've been pointed out that we are supposed to make a documentation, except it's supposed to contain info on ALL libraries and ALL classes our project will have.. which is insane, how can one predict what he'll need to accomplish the task? You can only know the half of the things you'll need, unless the project is way too simple.

I'm just plain annoyed, because this whole 'wow, I can showoff my mad skills' turned into 'wow, I have to do shit the tedious way and I'm already crying that I've picked a 2D engine and not a simpleton game like crosses and circles.

The time that we dedicate to the things and people that we love/like, when it's enough?

The question is generic and for good reason.
Yesterday, semi-seriously, my gf asked me when we'll have a baby, I answered, seriously, that it's gonna be when I'll feel ready to share the daily time with someone as demanding as another family member growing up.
Now, between job time, hobbies time and girlfriend (gonna marry soon) time the time is already tight and because I'm self sufficient about happiness and kind of a loner I don't share really much time with her most of the days, and from this realisation from her side she broke into crying.
From that experience I understood that there might be need some adjustment on my side.
But on another side I'm puzzled of how other families deal with this, because though my life I've seen couples/married-people that had not really much interactions with each other on a daily basis and seemed fine with living like that.

So knowing this context, what's your experience about this phenomenon through your life time?

i don't understand how to do my assignment at work. i don't ask anyone. and i'm crying. gonna get fired soon lol

Today is my worst day!, my MacBook motherboard got burnt out and repairing cost is $750. :(
Feel like crying 😢

Vue is amazing at all but fuck...never try to create some kind of layer on top of it or use external events inside. It is hell, trust me. I hate myself so much now. Shieet.
Now I am crying here with fucked up data flow and such complex hard to debug creature...

So to everyone crying about the price of the new iPhone X:
Shut.
The fuck.
Up.

If people have the money and they will enjoy it.. Just let them. Do you complain every time your neighbour gets himself a new Audi when he could also just drive a Dacia? Just mind your own business.

I'm not gonna buy this shit either but I won't judge other people by doing so.

Every year the same mindless Apple-bashing. It's just senseless