When you’re so sleep deprived from days with no sleep and you’re writing only a few lines every 30 minutes after overlooking linters and fixing syntax errors, but you need to get the work done **lid-pop**… Hate it but love it..

I usually can't sleep more than 5 hours.

Not only does my apnea try to kill me, if I do have sleep restful enough for dreams I will have the most fucked up dreams.

Examples: fighting with a "40k" platoon of marines against a hungry hoard of zombies. I witnessed my team get ripped to shreds and turn. I fell through the ceiling and they pulled me though. I was aware and could feel everything as my body was bitten, stabbed, gouged, and consumed.

I was forced to bash my brothers skull in with my hands because he wouldn't stop attacking me (28 days style). Nothing stopped him except death and I tried so hard to just stop him. This one fucks me up to this day.

I lived an entire lifespan from Jr high to death. Finished school, college, marriage, kids, grandkids, the death of my wife. When I finally died, I woke up. There has always been a hole in me that can never be filled. I miss my family.

I know none of it is real, but the emotions and experiences are as real as any other I have had.

@sariel geez I felt bad for not sleeping. That's a whole new level.