Why must I always be the guy that has to connect with people?

So I'm applying to a retail job, and the section manager, lets call him Tim, is kinda low energy.

Come in four days later after the first meeting, to just let him know I put in the application. We're talking, talking some more, and he basically wants to hire me but says it usually takes 1-2 weeks for the background. Well that's nonsense for a retail position doing stocking, but alright.

And I'm heading out the door, say to him "dont kill yourself on shift", he doesnt even laugh, just flat affect, monotone, "I know I still got an hour and a half on shift."

And as I'm driving away I'm thinking, that's how the entire conversation was like.

It wasn't just misery or tiredness. The dude, Tim, I'd seen that face and heard that tone before.

Its the behavior of someone who actively doesnt want to be alive.

And as I'm driving away, I'm just thinking, how do I go back? How do I go to this total stranger, who I'm also applying for a job with, who I just met, and say *look, I dont mean to get personal and this is probably uninvited but I know something's up with you. You were like this last time I met you, and you're like it even more now. I know bro. I know. You think no one sees you're going through something, but I do.*

I see shit like this and it's so obvious and by the time I realize I should say something, the opportunity has passed, the moment has passed. And it's like, is it even my place?

But to see someone like that, to be familiar with that look on their face, and to let them walk away...

I just dont know.

  • 1
    1. You may be misreading him.
    2. Even if he is suicidal, do you know how to approach him without making him wanting to kill himself even more?
  • 0
    @hardCoding unfortunately once you've seen it and know the difference, it's as hard to misread as a pink elephant.

    That's my big fear though, trying to talk to someone and making it worse.
  • 1
    You should think before speaking. Don't rush with the urge for being the person who will get things fixed, or for having to fill up the conversation too avoid awkward silence.

    If you don't have something good to say, just say nothing, let it be. Maybe another day.

    Your impact always outweighs your intentions.
  • 1
    I know I'd be very frustrated if this rando I don't care about suddenly wanted to play shrink with me assuming all kinds of nonsense.

    You say you've heard this tone before? Is it because you know someone who went for it? You might be projecting. I've seen that happen™
  • 1
    Unfortunately you can’t fix people, they can only do that themselves. Giving unsolicited advice won’t help.

    If he is suicidal there is very little you can do about it. Having been there, I think it’s a misconception that there is anything a complete stranger can do to alter that either way.

    The way I see it, if you treat people with kindness and respect, at least they will have had one decent interaction that day. That’s the best you can do.
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