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Can anyone tell me how to become less resentful and less bitter? I am becoming a miserable fuck. Its true that I burned out in this job after doing 100hrs overtime during previous month, its also true that I am pissed off about having to wait 8-9 weeks for my raise to happen. I cared so much that I burned out and now Im trying to set some boundaries but damage was done and Im struggling dealing with it.

I took 6 days off to disconnect from work (still was responding to some major blockers and monitoring stuff). Today I got back at work and interacting with two incompetent devs immediately sets me off. Imagine taking 2-3 days and extra meetings to do a simple fix which shouldnt take longer than 30min. My mind was blown and still gets constantly blown about how ineffective some members of team are.

I am becaming a ranting fuck. I even noticed one person escaping my rants once he sees that they are taking longer than 5min.

Right now I started setting boundaries - I clock my 8 hours, disable slack/email notifications and get the fuck out from the office. I dont care if I will have to sit in traffic extra 30min during summer heat, Im done with putting in overtime and caring so much about being efficient. I will just start working on my side project and put my love/learnings in that. Hoping that by the end of year I will have couple projects to show in my portfolio so I could find a better paying job...

In the past I was the sole dev responsible for apps and I was communicating with ceos/ctos/product owners/designers directly. This is my first position where I work in a dev team and boy oh boy out of 8 devs barely 3 are competent enough but their output is how to say... Not the biggest. Anyways...

Transition to boundaries and 'normal life' is so hard. Nobody told me that I will have to learn to work with and tolerate such retarded and incompetent people. Im talking about illiterate monkeys who cant even read or write. Im amazed how they manage to code.

Comments
  • 3
    Waw, good rant, very relatable.

    I guess the only reasonable course of action is to not give a fuck anymore. Let people run themselves into walls and down hills if they want to. Let companies hire idiots and fail and don't save anyone and anything. Do what's asked, question nothing, and then GTFO and don't think about it until the next day.

    I mean what else can you really do for your own mental health than to stop giving a fuck.. you can change your job, but chances are you will just go from one shit show to another... and even if you don't, no place is going to be truly perfect, even if you build it yourself... so really, I figure that the only thing we can do is to learn how to not give a fuck about anything...
  • 2
    @Hazarth I will try to focus on coding itself instead of team dynamics or deliverables.. Seems to be the only reason that will still keep me sane. Otherwise yeah like u said I need to stop caring.
  • 4
    Swap jobs, it can do a lot for your motivation. Don't bother improving dumb company.

    Care less, work casually, don't do overtime.
  • 1
    Stress.
  • 1
    @WildOrangutan thanks. Thats my plan now.
  • 0
  • 0
    “Change your job or change your job.”
  • 1
    Man if it is just some sort of sunk cost fallacy because of this raise you mentioned, forget it. Its not worth it if your org is really as bad as you describe it.
    Leave.
  • 2
    you're not bitter, you're a reasonable person who's been pushed to your limits.

    setting boundaries is good, but dealing with burnout takes more than getting to a reasonable state, you need time to recover. if you could afford to, I'd recommend a break from work, though i know that's not a possibility for many people
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