cure my disorder
I will either destroy you with chemicals made precisely to wipe out scum like you, or with a good old handgun.
You’re not making it alive out of 2023. I promise. Your days are numbered.

Only having read the first line I was hoping aok had come to a new years realization. But having read the rest i quickly realized who it was. Best of luck ❤️

There is no cure. Accept that your brain doesn't let you be a workaholic all the time.

I recommend: sleep.
That is the recommendation.

It doesnt cure anything but it does let you forget for a while. And on walinv, problems dont seem as big and unsolvable as they once did,

Try sleeping ornapping more. Seriously. Do it.

@Oktokolo the problem is the opposite: my brain makes me be a workaholic
I want to rest sometimes without feeling guilty about doing nothing

@Wisecrack definitely works

@Oktokolo it’s more like it pushes me to work more using guilt, then we run out of mental resource because we’re overworked, and then we feel guilty for not being able to work

the problem is:

everything your brain does, including any disorders, is a part of you.

if you fight it, you only fight yourself.

instead: acknowledge it. accept it. control it. that's the way to go.

@tosensei when your leg is broken, you go to a hospital to get it fixed. You don't carry on living with an untreated broken leg because it's “a part of you”. Disorders I have were proven to be endogenous, e.g. hardware problems. They should be fixed.

If I won't like a healthy myself, I will always be able to return to being desperate.

@kiki Then find out where that guilt comes from. If your employer actually saves the planet or saved your life, enslaving guilt may be semi-justified. In almost all other cases, there is a chance that it disapperars after you find its source and come to the emotional conclusion that it isn't justified or already worked off.

On the other hand, even if you decide to keep being a slave, you should not overwork yourself too much because your productivity suffers in average and your service life is reduced. You are reducing the value of your owners property that way.

@Oktokolo as if my brain doesn't want me to work when there is no employer.

When I have no job, it pushes me to do personal projects no matter what

anyway I'm way past conventional wisdom and therapy. illnesses are treated with medications. I don't care anymore. at least I have an exit strategy no one can take away from me.

@kiki yeah, you go to the doctor with a broken leg. but you don't "destroy" it; you don't swing a big hammer at it.

@tosensei but you destroy cancer, and chemotherapy is quite a big hammer to swing