Do you ever get this soul-crushing feeling inside you that says you haven't achieved enough or you don't make enough money?

For context, I've been a dev for 6 years now and make a lot more money than when I started, which was $1000 USD annually. (Third world country).

I used to think that making more money as I grew with experience would drive this feeling away but it hasn't.

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    I used to. I was aiming for the ultimate dev role - architect. Then I realized € is not worth my time on this planet. If I keep working just to get more €s, then I live and work for €s, and not the other way around. As long as I have enough income to satisfy my fam's needs and some to save, I can afford enjoying other things in life. Tinkering, building, traveling, moto-touring, redoing my aptmt, etc.

    In other words, as long as my salary keeps me warm and my belly full, I can go on and have fun.

    So I no longer see the point in chasing after bigger numbers just to have them.

    Money is but a tool. To pay for stuff. I wouldn't worry about having too few screwdrivers, hammers or wrenches, so why should I worry about having more of other tools if I already have enough...?
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    $1k annually? What's a normal monthly salary there? Curious
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    @netikras Normal salary here is about INR 600,000 annually which is about $8000 USD a year.

    I was making $1K annually when I was in Bangalore sharing a 1 bedroom apartment with 2 roommates. I didn't really understand the job market then and was made to believe that I should accept whatever job is offered to me, regardless of salary.
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    I also thought I'd be a dev forever. I ended up quitting being a dev after 2 years because the stress wasn't worth it for me. I switched careers and learned Linux. Had I remained a dev, I probably wouldn't be earning as much as I'm earning now. My knowledge of programming did help me with my new career. It helped me understand how things work. YMMV.
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    same as netikras, stopped years ago pursuing the dinero, as long as it brings food and pays the bills any salary is good. And if I can put a few bucks aside for travel and some extra fun is perfect. I value my free time more now and my stress level to be lower than more 0s @ some bank db
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    I haven't achieved enough + don't make enough money, it isn't a feeling !

    I'd be quite happy with less.

    But if U want a romantic partner, U NEED more, otherwise they R simply not interested.

    Doesn't matter if U R the kindest person on the planet, smarter than Sheldon, + can chat about more subjects than exist in an encyclopedia..

    My finances took a him about a decade ago, since then I've been in debt, paid it off, + very slowly making my way up the ladder.

    Meanwhile in those 10+ years, I've been alone.

    It teaches U that U, as a person is worthless.

    Only what you can do, what you have, in simple terms, your worth in cold hard cash matters.

    Sounds like you need to earn more, unless you already have everything !

    I reckon I'm only 6 months or so away from having enough myself !

    To think I have endured a total 30 years of being single for this..

    Learn from others, work hard !

    Or be miserable !

    Now excuse me whilst I go and work 17 hours again !
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    @Nanos well, I met my current wife when I was homeless. Crashing on friends' floors. When we first moved in, we slept on a floor - there was nowhere else. There were times when we had <20€ left in our bank accounts.

    None of that ever was a problem to either of us...
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    yep, there are many girls and every one is different, if you want to attract the ones that care more about $ you should spare more, but that's not a rule of thumb or anything like it. it all depends on what girls you wanna attract, what you need from them etc. My GF had a better salary than me as a teacher at one time, but that wasn't a problem. When there is love and attraction having no money is not a problem ( usually, little fights about them are normal in rich families too after all )
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    @Nanos that’s simply not true. It’s just the women that you are interested in are the ones that want you for your money.

    I earn more than my husband, I had my own place when we started seeing each other and he’d moved back in with his parents. As much as I think I like the idea of never having to work again, the reality is that there’s no way I would ever want to be financially reliant on another person. If he sat around all day doing nothing and expecting me to pay for him then we’d have a problem. His actual salary isn’t relevant.

    Maybe if you didn’t assume all women were only after you for your money then wouldn’t have spent the last 30 years single.
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    I'm from the king of 3rd world countries, Mexico city.

    My 1st salary was $3,300usd a year.

    I started getting more and more, honestly it was never enough and was only doing it for money, I completely forgot about motivation, trying to have sex with my female coworkers.

    One day I met a super highly motivated guy, that reminded me my passion for programming, I started taking bootcamps, diplomas, certifications and other stuff just for the pleasure of being better at what I do.

    Eventually(I was not expecting that) more and more job offers started showing up, I started switching and getting involved in the business of every client I had, like, really involved, just because I wanted to know more and more, other case indifference starts showing its head.

    Long story short, now I work in USA and getting a 6 figure salary, I even bought an apartment in Mexico.

    Moral of the story, dude, find passion on what you do first, money will be a consequence.
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    feels the same and I wonder usually devs of 6-7 years of experiences have all these feelings. Idk to fade this feeling away I try to build something for myself atleast I can get little peace.
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    @UnicornPoo I didn't start off assuming that, it is the result of many years experience !

    And listening to others experiences too.
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    @We3D I've found every one is the same !

    I blame mother nature myself. :-)

    Damn evolution makes women selective !
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    @netikras Was you homeless in a rich area or a poor one ?

    I didn't meet a lot of women when I was homeless in an orchard next to a freeway !

    And you had friends !

    That is wealth..

    I've no friends here, too poor.

    My neighbour, he had lots of friends, until he spent all his money on them..
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    Money, wealth is so important, it is perhaps not understood why.

    If you have money, you can move to a better neighborhood, better housing, better jobs.

    With money you can afford more than a pair of shoes.

    Hell, with money you can actually buy a pair of shoes, instead of wearing ones thrown away in the trash like I've done. ( Like new ! )

    When you are at the bottom, no 1 wants 2 B your friend, unless you can do something for them.

    Sometimes you meet someone kind who does help such people. ( I do ! )

    But U aren't going to meet a romantic partner that way !

    Not unless U have something to offer..

    When you are poor, real poor, you weigh 42lb as a teenager, and can't even lift a weight bar with no weights on it !

    No 1 is going 2 find that attractive.

    It took me years to afford to eat well.

    Reminds me of a guy telling me that if he is a stone lighter or heavier, he doesn't get any dates.

    When I got heavier, I didn't change as a person, but I got dates !
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    If he sat around all day doing nothing and expecting me to pay for him then we’d have a problem.


    You mean if he became unemployed !

    I'm reminded of a friend of mine, was in a $150k a year job, lost it, then his wife left him..

    Sadly he never got another job again. :-(

    He tried, flew to other countries even.

    Ended up having to sell his penthouse apartment with his ex-wife getting half, and lived in a friends room till he died a few years later of cancer.

    He had lots of character, was often on TV, smart, gifted, kind, but once the money dried up, suddenly almost all of his friends vanished and no woman was interested in him.

    Like another friend of mine, used to own a factory, it went bust, he was homeless, died alone 20 years later, with just a handful of friends.

    It is the way.
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    @arcioneo My first salary was $500 usd a year !

    Yes I live in a 4th world country...

    Now I'm on $4,000 a year in my late 50's, it is like being rich !
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    I'm reminded when I lived in a city, I got dates.

    Was I different person then ?

    Now I live in the wilderness, as far from civilisation as you can get, no dates..

    Still the same person !

    Now I'm poorer, can't afford to live in a city. ( Not that I could then, I had to borrow money to afford to pay the rent ! )

    That took me nearly 20 years to pay back.

    So I tried the city life, it wasn't as easy to get a job as people said it would be..

    And even if you live in a ghetto, the rent is still unaffordable !

    Working for 10 cents an hour, because that was the only work I could find.

    Doesn't beat my friend Ron, he used to live in the jungle !

    His level of poverty was worse than mine !

    He made it into IT though, kinda..

    His last job was parcel delivery, all he could get, but at least he got to use a computer !

    He has a lot of talent though, he should be doing greater things.
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    Talking of wealth reminds me of someone I know, have known for nearly 30 years online.

    The other year I bumped into them on another part of the internet, I spotted them, but they didn't spot me as I had a different name.

    During that time they knew me as the poor guy, and like many, they didn't show a great deal of respect.

    But this time, because they thought I was like them, because I could afford an expensive phone, they acted towards me quite different.

    I mentioned the other day I hung out in the same part of the internet as them for 30 years, will they figure out who I am. :-)

    Easy really, my profile picture looks the same in both !

    Reminds me of my uncle who said the wisdom, never let folk know you are poor, they treat you different.

    Perhaps that is where I go wrong, I should lie !

    That isn't really me though.

    So that feeling is perhaps your genetic programming telling you that you need to earn more.

    I'm blind to such things, too much of an idealist !
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    @Nanos maan, reading your thoughts makes me think that you got even less luck than me. I can definitely agree on some points, but for others, since I've seen better I just can't ( all based on my experience so far... having a little problem trusting everything I hear from others, knowing how many times I've been fooled by others intentional or not lies ). In hard times I always chant to myself : "That will pass too", simply b/c it's true, nothing lasts forever, the entropy and the master chaos won't allow it to. Have this song from me and may the source be with you! https://m.youtube.com/watch/...
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    @Nanos I promise, you are completely incorrect. Don’t think some random on here is going to convince you though.
    One bit of advice, do what you want with it.
    Stop doing the 17 hour days, get away from the current dystopian, capitalistic nightmare you seem to be living. I’d recommend travelling, actually speak to different people. You only get one life, don’t spend it on a treadmill that will only make you bitter.
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    travelling, actually speak to different people.


    Done that !

    How do you think I came to my current conclusions. :-)
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    Stop doing the 17 hour days, get away from the current dystopian, capitalistic nightmare


    You mean be poor ?

    I've tried that already, it sucks big time.

    At least now, I stand a better chance of improving my life through hard work.

    The right kind of hard work too !
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    I promise, you are completely incorrect.


    I remember early in life folk saying the world works like X and not Y.

    I tried X for so many years, it didn't work.

    Maybe Y was right..

    Yeah, Y seems to fit reality much better than X.

    But of course, in good old principles of science, it can be wise to try and disprove any current theory by doing the oppersit, just to be sure.

    Already tested over half a million women, so I'm pretty sure I'm right.

    I remember I think someone here mentioning they had tested the same thing, 2.5 million women !

    That saves me wasting time on another 2 million women just to find out I'm right !

    Or rather, the folk who say the world works like Y rather than X.

    If only there was an easy way to figure out in advance, when one person says X and one person says Y, who to believe ?
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    Don’t think some random on here is going to convince you though.


    Its ironically funny that, because that is how I got to this position in the first place !

    One random person online said all those folk pushing X are wrong, its Y you know !

    I didn't believe them of course, but I checked out Y and started testing to see who was right.

    Guess what, all that I had been told was wrong !

    The world really didn't work like the fairy tales tell you.

    It works more like survival of the fittest, like the animal kingdom.
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    since I've seen better I just can't


    I find it can be hard to figure out what is happening.

    I'm reminded of a date I went on once, all was fine for about 10 minutes, when suddenly the other person decided to end the date.

    We'd been chatting for months, getting to know each other, all seemed fine.

    So what went wrong in those 10 minutes..

    I reckon now, what happened was they thought I was a MK 5, but in reality I was a MK 1, they only noticed this in person.

    When they did so, I reckon they remembered they had a MK 4 that wanted to date them, so they dropped me !

    I think my dating profile wasn't accurate enough for them to figure out I was a MK 1.

    These days the internet can again help, especially if you can read their twitter feed/etc. and see what else is happening in their lives.

    You can then see, that they went on a date the day before you, and what the other person had that you didn't.
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    having a little problem trusting everything I hear from others, knowing how many times I've been fooled by others intentional or not lies


    I can appreciate that, and the best advice I can give is, trust no one !

    By the time you know the answer the hard way, then you know who you should have trusted. :-)

    Sometimes too little data doesn't help us get an accurate picture I've found.

    So, sometimes I've been lucky so to speak, thought it was A that I did to make it happen, when it was B, and I wasn't even aware of B !

    Being physically strong always helps, at the very least, you will be able to open pickle jars. :-)
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    nothing lasts forever,


    I'm reminded of a woman friend of mine, now in their 70's, still single.

    Once they asked someone out, and they said no.

    After that, they never asked anyone else ever again. :-(

    Looks like its going to be forever for them.

    No matter how many times I suggest they join a dating site, or do something to try and improve their loneliness.

    Usually nothing lasts forever, because the average person has enough resources/wealth that they can be in the right place at the right time when some else pops up that they have the resources to take advantage of.

    Living in the right place is expensive..

    Otherwise I've seen friends of mine die of old age before they ever find happiness with another.

    That will be my fate too, unless I can figure out how to do something about it.

    And all of those answers, depend on increasing my wealth.

    I do try from time to time to buck the trend and test the waters, just to check in case I'm wrong.
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    @Nanos that last few comments sound a bit more optimistic =]. all we can do is share our exp. and thoughts about the topic. One might say that the truth will always be somewhere in the middle. The thing is that there is no universal truth and recipe for living an epic life, nor finding a girl that suits your needs / desires. One has to try not only X & Y, but the whole alphabet, not just that but a few other alphabets + special chars and few doodles in order to find his place sometimes, and others are born at the right place and time...we call it luck... but who knows really ;)
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    there is no universal truth


    Oh I think there is, it is just that we might not like it !
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    @Nanos that might be true as well
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    the truth will always be somewhere in the middle.


    Only 4 the average person.

    For those on the edges, the answers R more extreme.

    It can help finding the edge in some ways, because then U know 4 sure what really doesn't work !

    When U are in the middle, and something works, it isn't always very clear at all, why, it could B a dozen reasons, or even ones U hadn't thought of.

    It is my great charm, no it is because U have an apartment in a desirable location as an asset that can be stolen..

    Reminds me of a great friend, who met this wonderful partner, for months they had such a wonderful time together.

    Then one day they asked which 1 of them living in that grand house, owned it, was it him, or the other 1 ?

    "Oh the other 1" my friend said, "I'm just a guest".

    The next day the romantic interested dumped my friend and started going out with the other 1.

    After that, they was single 4 some 40 years, never finding anyone else till they died.
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    all we can do is share our exp. and thoughts about the topic.


    I find that is the most useful thing on any subject.

    It can shorten the time we have to spend experimenting ourselves to try and figure things out.

    In particular I find it gives us at least, what variables to check, as often the case is, you have no idea what variables exist in your problem space and no real idea where to even start.

    Soon you find yourself running scripts in your head about 'what if' I do this or that. :-)
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    @Nanos that's an interesting story and I'm sure you have more of that or similar, but in the end they are just isolated cases. even if some of them have a lot of common between them, that does not mean every woman / man is like that. the world is too big and there are so many people in it, that you or anyone can conclude that easy how the things are or should be...
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    @Nanos I completely agree that there r so many params to any given problem, and if not a pretty simple one ( the problem ), you might miss one or many vars ( including a very needed for the right solution ones )
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    does not mean every woman / man is like that.


    The problem with lifeforms is they tend to be genetically programmed to behave a certain way.

    I've rather given up at 600,000, another guy got to 2,5 Million, maybe 1 in 2.6 million exists.

    But since that is going to probably take you more than a lifetime to find, its probably going to be easier to figure out what the other 2.599 million want, and adjust yourself to their desires.
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    in the end they are just isolated cases.


    When you get enough cases together. :-)

    It sure is hard at first, to figure out if one experience is a rare example, or common place.

    For some years I chatted to a lot of folk online, both genders, and they gave me a wonderful insight into how everyone behaves.

    The best was when I knew both people in a couple when they broke up, and got to hear both sides.

    It was interesting to note that often 1 side would lie in public about what really happened, whilst the other side, no one would believe..

    Which brings up an important element, folk often lie to get what they want.

    And if U ask most peoples ex's what they was like, you wouldn't want to date them either !

    As such, try to protect yourself from any potential issues as much as possible. ( Don't leave money laying around, if U want to avoid asking them if they took it or not ! )

    Don't introduce them 2 your hot cousin if U don't want them cheating..
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    @We3D Think of us like farm animals.

    There are guides for farming that work all over the world, explaining how animals behave, they are predictable and controllable.

    I rather like this view of how humans evolved:



    Opinion: We Didn’t Domesticate Dogs. They Domesticated Us.


    Which leads to:



    The silver fox domestication experiment


    Isn't Japan the epicentre of human domestication ?

    Are we now all slaves to the machine ?
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    When we make a decision, are we really making our own decision, or are we just doing what we are programmed to do ?

    I'm reminded of:



    Sam Harris on "Free Will"


    Maybe this helps explain why what some people say they will do, doesn't match what they actually do !
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    @Nanos the so-called "free will" is a vast and complicated topic... but let say we can kind of simplify it by saying it is dependent on your current capabilities in the way u have trained and your view of the world ( that's important ) + all internal and external forces which may or may not align with your current status. looking from that POV we can say one can barely have something that we can call free will in the purest meaning. you have to be if not immortal at least invincible for any damage and free of any fear + be at your max level so I can say that you do really have a free will...and even then is not 100%
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    I remember reading someplace that the most control we have is to not listen to our impulses all the time.

    I guess that means, if we don't want to code, we can't make ourselves !

    But I guess it does mean that we can say no to having another cookie !

    Does that mean we have to rely on an urge to want someone, and can't just will it ourselves with conscious thought ?

    All we can do is reject others advances using what little free will we have.
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    @Nanos yeah, you can say to yourself "I won't eat another cookie" and you can "execute" that will by not eating it, but you don't have that power if you say got sick and your belly tells that you got to puke.

    Another simple example may be : if you are say allergic to peanuts, you can't just say "from now on I wont get allergic reaction when I'm eating peanuts". although the example is not perfect, hope you get the idea

    And about who you like is completely different story, didn't figure that for myself still. I mean if I don't know the girl ( say I'm seeing her for the 1st time ) I can still say if I like her or not pretty quickly...but not sure all the time why. And there are many more preprogrammed things in us that are so hard for reverse engineer by simply thinking about them...
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    also there are things you could figure out for yourself, but still can't do much about them, b/c they are in ROM ( DNA ) and some of them you just can't change no matter how strong your will is...
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    @We3D Yeah, I can't think myself taller !

    Though, interestingly I hear using weights can increase your height, and low and behold mine did increase a little.

    Not enough to make a huge difference, but I guess every little bit helps.
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    I'm reminded with Covid recently, I was so ill, I'm sure my willpower kept me alive !

    When I did eventually get to see a doctor, he said I was so ill that folk like me would normally be unconscious ! ( Or dead.. )

    Yeah, well, it wasn't easy staying awake !

    I love the way here, if you ring up a doctor, they tell you not to bother them unless you are really ill.

    "Oh your dying, no, not ill enough, call back when you are unconscious ! "

    It took me 6 months to get to see a doctor.

    Just like living on Mars !
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    @Nanos I've heard in UK is sort of the same with seen a doc, but for diff reasons, they have months ahead with no free time for you
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    @Nanos also get better soon :)
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    @We3D Working on it. :-)

    A recent run of the runs isn't helping..

    Oh wait, I'm not in that part of the internet where whatever I say no one believes me, so I won't have to provide a picture of that !

    When I say no one, I mean a bunch of folk who don't like it when I disagree with their view of how the world works, with my practical experience of how the world really works !

    So now they take to saying I'm just lying.

    I guess now I should question if they are using their real name even, and I need a signed confession from their mother they are who they said they have been for 35+ years online !

    Really the new low in online debate.

    The previous one was they wouldn't read any articles or watch any videos because they didn't believe they told the truth so would be a waste of time watching..

    Now I have to include a picture every time I talk about something !

    Then the conversation dries up and they don't want to the discuss the subject anymore !
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    @Nanos You can't even be sure you r speaking with a human this days or just chatGPT mediator ;). That said, people are all sort of strange creatures and I still struggle to say if I love them or wanna pretend I'm from diff galaxy. But it's good to be alive, so I'm trying to have some fun while still arround =]
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    @We3D More and more people are sounding like a chatGPT that doesn't really know anything !

    I sometimes wonder if I got one to post messages for me when I'm asleep, would anyone notice..

    I think they would in my case. :-)
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