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Inappropriate experience at work? Here is another one:

After 10 years of service the company gives the employee an anniversary party, complete with cake, drinks, etc.

Preparing for a party, HR set the cake in the break-room and left to get the other supplies, in the mean time the IS department manager 'John' walks in, sees the cake and decides to take a slice.
Not a small corner piece you may not notice by smearing the frosting around, but a big piece from the * middle of the cake *.

'Mary' walks in and catches him.

M: "JOHN! The cake is for Eddie's party! Everyone will be here any minute!"
John: "Oh shit!..sorry, let me put it back..."
M: "NO!, you've already eaten some...the cake is ruined!"
<he had icing all over his hands, so he used the cake knife to cut, but used his hands to dig out the slice, so the cake looked pretty tore up>
J:"How was I supposed to know? All I saw was free cake!"
M: "You are on the invite list for Eddie's party! You have 'Happy Anniversary Eddie' on your plate!"
J: "Party isn't until 2:00...<looks at the breakroom clock> oh shit...it's 2"

About that time, several VPs walk in, notice Mary is upset and after finding out, our IS-VP said "John, I'm not happy about this. I want you in my office after the party. You can leave ...now!"

Our IS-VP is almost always emotionless (mostly just happy and in a good mood), it was the first time anyone had seen him this physically angry in years. We don't know how John kept his job.

Comments
  • 21
    Is John special, retarded, stupid, or all of the above?
  • 16
    So he plunged his fist into the middle of the cake and ripped out a shriveled mound like a hungry werewolf digging its claw into a corpse?
  • 13
    @TeachMeCode Was this action the "icing on the cake"?
  • 11
    When HR has so little knowledge about common human behavior, that they can't even anticipate the likelihood of an unattended cake getting eaten by an employee, who didn't get or doesn't remember the memo in that moment.

    I would never leave a cake just sit there without at least putting a big warning about its purpose next to it. Better even post a guard for the short time. Or put it in the fridge if normally, stuff in the fridge isn't free. IT folks aren't known for their social alertness. It is so easy to forget that email about the party and assume free cake because someone had a birthday or something.

    And that is why John wasn't fired. The rational VP realized that the cake was basically an unintentional trap and that there was no malicious intent on John's side.
  • 7
    @Oktokolo Lol, you are way too forgiving, I think! It's weird enough to start eating ahead of everyone else, plus see the HR's remonstrations re the plates etc...
  • 9
    @Demolishun > "Is John special, retarded, stupid, or all of the above?"

    Hindsight being what it is, we now believe John is bi-polar. 70~80% of the time he was fine. Very serious, decent mgmt skills, joked around, etc. Then the mood swings and random extreme behavior. John would get sooo angry at random occasions you would always feel afraid to question his decisions.

    For example, he screamed (red faced, all the drama) at me for wanting to wait until Monday to *change a label* when VP on a Friday wanted a tweak. It is our soft 'rule' to never deploy on Friday and display changes especially fell in the 'it can wait' category. Not that day. Nobody knew (this was in front of other devs) where the outburst came from and it made me look insubordinate (ex. "we're here to serve our customers, not your fucking ego!!!")
  • 7
    @TeachMeCode > "So he plunged his fist into the middle of the cake"

    That's how 'Mary' described it. John has been since fired (that's another story) for several years now and today she still tells other (new) HR folks when putting out a cake to put it in the far corner, with the lid on until moment they are ready to serve. She says to avoid another 'John incident'
  • 10
    @Oktokolo > "I would never leave a cake just sit there without at least putting a big warning about its purpose next to it."

    Since that incident, HR now always prints a 'For event X, do not touch' sign on anything they leave out.

    Although, the unwritten rule 'No name is fair game' is in full force.

    One of our accountants left one of those big/bulk boxes of ice cream sandwiches from Sam's in the freezer 'unmarked'. I think it lasted two days. Rightfully upset, but the odd thing she said was with that much ice cream, one would think you could walk around and find the wrappers in an area's trash can. Nope, these guys (or gals) hid their tracks.
  • 2
    @PaperTrail Yeah, mental disorders make sense too. Some people have more bad days than others and their bad days are also more bad. And the human brain is mostly uncharted territory - so treatment is often not really fixing it. I like that HR upgraded to better safety standards. Pretty sad that John had been fired over what essentially is an illness. But i get that a choleric can increase the workplace toxicity a lot.

    The ice cream sandwiches where definitely fair game. One just doesn't bring lots of ice cream to the office expecting to be able to eat it all alone. I guess, the plastic wrappings where all in the trash in the kitchen because ice cream sandwiches are named like that because of their convenient edible waffle "wrapping". There is no reason to hold on to the plastic.
  • 0
    Reading ur posts mate abt john i suspect this guy to be neurodivergent (adhd/asd) and u will see lotta more weird stuff.
    This guy « normalcy » isnt the same as 95% of other people
  • 1
    @Oktokolo > " Pretty sad that John had been fired over what essentially is an illness"

    Yes and no. John was very toxic towards more and more individuals as time went on. I was on top of his 'hit list', primarily (of many reasons) for introducing agile methodologies (he was a stanch waterfall guy).

    TL;DR, when other teams and other departments starting adopting agile, quality went up, project timelines went down, and he began to lash out to non-IS management when they pushed back on his 'we need to have 500 meetings and 1,000 pages of word docs before we write one line of code!' approach.

    We believe the 'straw that broke the camel's back' was when the CEO came into our area to ask a dev a question. The way the story went was he told the CEO 'From now on, if you have a project question, you come to me first!'.

    Nobody was sad when John was fired. It took everything I had not to sing out loud "Ding-dong, the witch is dead, the witch is dead."
  • 2
    @PaperTrail It is still sad. Non-sad would have been the rare ending where somehow John gets that something is wrong with him and seeks professional help that actually helps him get his inner demons under control and become bearable to himself and his surroundings, so he can have friends, adapt to the changes in his work environment and live a life which also includes the good emotions till his end.
  • 1
    Gotta be honest I think an awful lot of people who behave like John just need to be told not to. It's their behaviour that needs to change, not everyone else's.
  • 0
    I'm fine with you continuing this series after last week just so we're clear on that :) That 'John' sounds like a dick
  • 2
    @Oktokolo oh fuck off with that nitpicking. Did you even read the post? Mofo got invite to party, use his damn hands to pull out the slice etc. it takes a retard to do this shit.
  • 1
    @aviophile Where is the nitpicking here?!

    Do you think, being that retarded wouldn't make your life miserable? If you constantly make people hate you, you definitely get to experience that hate once in a while on a very personal level. Not being able to anticipate and therefore avoiding doing so and at the same time also being able to get that what you did was wrong in hindsight - that is a sure recipe for self-esteem issues. That dude probably lives a very sad life either without any love or in a very dramatic and abrasive relationship (no, other people like him wouldn't be compatible).

    I don't say, that it was wrong to get rid of him. Just that it actually still is an objectively sad ending - not a neutral or good one because the protagonist still lives a miserable life (no, that doesn't mean that they should have killed him). I also don't assert that there actually was a realistic chance for a good ending.
  • 0
    What a chad
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