Scrum meeting is 15 minutes long.

Not 50.

Guess someone mistook agile for doing the same shite as before but with shorter deadlines

@possum "Agile means we work faster, right?"

Typically 55 here.
Why? I still have no idea 🤦🏻‍♀️

@possum That’s exactly what happens every time, no matter what. Managers use everything from ceremonies to psychology as an excuse to demand the same thing: more work, done in less time, for the same pay.

@Lensflare “Agile means endless change requests, and you all work faster, right?”

@Root I asked my boss if I was "too slow". He said something to the affect of: don't write so fast you write shit code that causes problems, don't write so slow you don't write any code, find a happy medium. He basically evaded the question and talked about finding issues in rushed code later. I don't think this is typical. He rarely talks to me about my code and expects me to be detailed. He sometimes jokes about me working the same code a couple of weeks in a row during meetings. My favorite thing he has said to me about some code I was working on: "don't make a career out of that project".

Also the only people attending daily scrum should be the dev team and the scrum master. Not the stakeholders and the entire company.

You mean daily? Stand-up meeting?

Big brain idea: turn it into stand-up comedy!

@puradawid Yeah that.

Everyone on my team just calls it scrum so that's affixed into my brain.

@jkuhl that is because they are correct.
@puradawid if you follow the scrum methodology you don't have stand-up you have daily scrum. It's kinda what the whole thing is named after. You get in a circle, put heads together and get the shit together, do the high energy "hey ho let's go" and get to execution of the just coordinated stuff.

Basically you don't need to stand and if smells like a status update meeting you're doing it wrong. It's not scrum, it's not agile and it's not waterfall it's just a waste of time.
https://theserverside.com/blog/...