Challenge questions are so goddamn stupid.

Apparently I have an account with a certain online organization though I don't remember setting it up.

So naturally I had no idea of my username or password, so they asked me challenge questions.

It asked me the city of my birth, which is a place with a weird spelling. Because of that weird spelling, I never remember if I'm spelling it right (I was only there as a newborn infant) And I'm also supposed to remember if I capitalized it or not.

I hate challenge questions. And anyone doing any remotely simple research on me shouldn't have trouble learning what city I was born in so it seems to me it's a security vulnerability, nothing more.

And maybe I'm giving things away by saying it asks me that question, but it's a common security question any hacker would anticipate anyways.

WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK CAN'T KENDO UI PRODUCE NORMAL FUCKING HTML AND PREDICTABLE GODDAMN BEHAVIOR I CAN EASILY WRITE GODDAMNED E2E TESTS FOR.

Shouldn't take me a fucking week to figure out how to get a fucking Kendo Integer Textbox to goddamned work in Cypress.

Fuck Kendo UI

I think I hate interfaces

I get the purpose behind them, and I understand why they're best practice in most OOP situations.

But goddamn it makes me groan when I change a parameter in a method and then find out I have go do the same in the interface as well.

I want to slap the previous devs on my team. Not the current ones, the previous once.

I don't need a comment on every. single. line. of. code

//verify thingies
if(thingies != null && thingies.count != 0) {

Like my god, i can read the if statement to know what it's doing, goddamn.

Comments should only be used when doing something that might not be immediately obvious to the next dev looking at the code.

I just wrote a nested ternary in my code

I have become that which I hate.

Scrum meeting is 15 minutes long.

Not 50.

why the fuck am I stuck using a "custom javascript framework based on angular.js" instead of NORMAL FUCKING ANGULAR LIKE REGULAR PEOPLE DO.

Rust devs on social media are the vegans of the programming world.

Yeah, we get it, you like your hot new programming language. I'm not bashing the language, I've never used it so I'd have no right to say anything about it.

But holy hell, you guys don't have to show up in every discussion about programming languages that aren't Rust to evangelicize how great Rust is. Like damn, there could be a thread on Twitter about Python and you'd be like "yeah Python's great but have you ever heard of our lord and savior, Jesus cRUST?"

Just shut up lol.

If I have to change my domain password every 3 months for a bullshit out of date security policy (there's plenty of evidence suggesting that changing passwords is actually worse security), then maybe, just FUCKING maybe, make sure that that password change appropriately filters down to things like SQL Server so I can keep doing my goddamn work.

Cisco Anyconnect can blow me.

I go through the process of connecting to the vpn, username, password, token.

Then it has its pop up "respond to the banner to connect" and I click accept . . . and it does nothing.

So I go through the process again. And this time it says connected

But now I still can't connect to any of my companies sharepoint, SQL servers, Azure Devops, JIRA, etc

And the only solution to that is a reboot.

And this happens swear to god at least every other day.

Like good lord, if I put in my credentials and they pass authentication/authorization, let me do my goddamn work.

SINGLE

RESPONSIBILITY

FUNCTIONS

HOLY GARBAGE UNTESTABLE DIFFICULT TO DEBUG JFC SHIT.

FUNCTIONS DO ONE THING AND DO ONE THING WELL. LEARN IT, LIVE IT, LOVE IT, OR JUMP INTO A LAKE

that is all.

Visual Studio can stop being a fucking asshole and stop tabbing my code around for me, you piece of shit.

I have an @if statement in a razor page in a <script> tag
Indented is a <text> tag so it'll accept javascript
Indented in that is my javascript . . . that it keeps trying to "fix"

Swear to christ this autoformat is more infuriating than helpful.

Hey Visual Studio, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK MY CODE IS SUDDENLY READ ONLY YOU BLOATED PIECE OF SHIT

Really fucking sick of Visual Studio losing all intellisence on CSHTML files.

We've had MVC for how many goddamned years and they still can't properly integrate a fucking view file into Visual Studio so it works consistently?

Oh and I love how when I changed the name of a class, it ignores every stupid CSHTML

It's cool.

I have less than four weeks before I have to have my project production ready

But why not make me waste my time in useless web based fucking trainings for bullshit HR issues I'll never deal with.

"Don't give gifts of more than $100 to potential clients!" Shut fuck up I don't work with clients.

Piss off and let me do my job.

Hey Intellisense . .

Would be nice if you'd kindly STOP BREAKING ON RAZOR SYNTAX YOU ASSHOLE.

Had to close and relaunch Visual Studio to make it understand @Html . . .

Hey Citrix:

How about if my account is locked, you give me an error saying "my account is locked" and not "incorrect username and password"

SO I CAN KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO TO FIX THE ISSUE YOU JACKASSES.

Can literally every fucking pop up, modal, notification, message box, update, and everything else just SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME DO MY WORK

Hey Citrix:

FUCK YOU.

Learn to make an accessible log in page you fucks.

Maybe instead of vague fucking "you're user name and password is wrong" say things like "your account is locked because we somehow decided we don't like your password anymore. . . . without telling you"

Fucking 2 hours of my day wasted trying to log into my company's VM because first it wouldn't take my password (that I've had for over a month and doesn't expire for another month) over and over again. I changed it, logged in. Got up to do something that'd take less than 5 minutes. And OF COURSE the people who set up the VM made them log you out if you're gone for more than 3 minutes (fuck that guy too). Come back to a log in screen and it won't accept my new password.

Change it again. Except this time it won't accept my new password because it's "like my old password." It is in that it uses the alphabet and numbers, but it's also different in that those alphanumeric characters are LITERALLY DIFFERENT IN EVERY PLACE. I finally get it to accept a new password.

I'm also loving the whole "answer these security questions that literally anyone who does minimal research on you can answer" before I get to change my password. Yeah. Because finding my mother's maiden name or the city I was born in is so fucking hard. Literally impossible to find out what my Dad's dad's name is. Shit like that isn't publically available. Nope. Why the fuck are we still using "security" questions?

I log into Citrix again. And it takes me to . . . the log in for Citrix.

There is no word in elvish, entish or the tongues of men for this stupidity.

Fuck Citrix. Fuck the people behind the password manager (Aviator or something like that), and fuck whatever administrator setting turns my computer off due to inactivity in such a stupid short amount of time. 10 minutes, 15 minutes, that'd be fine. But it's more like 3 or 5, like wtf.

FUCK BMC Remedy.

Fuck this worthless tool.

So I'm using a using statement to utilize a streamwriter in C#. I'm missing a parenthesis but Visual Studio doesn't highlight that.

Nope.

Instead it highlights "Console.WriteLine" and claims it "doesn't exist in this context."

So I'm scratching my head, trying to see what's wrong, checking the target framework (net framework 4.6.1) and I've got "using System;" and I'm going through stack overflow problems.

All because Visual Studio decided to underline console.writeline, rather than the METHOD WITH THE MISSING PARENTHESIS.

If you're going to have your package write into the SSIS log "please check the SSIS log for details" when your package throws an error

Kindly throw yourself off a cliff.

WRITE THE FUCKING ERROR TO THE FUCKING LOG.

If I'm reading the log, I'm already CHECKING THE FUCKING LOG. So I don't need the log to tell me to check the log.

If your SPA doesn't work with the browsers navigation buttons . . . go fuck yourself and fix your application.

At work I have to deal with an application that manages work tickets. There's a login page, an overview console and a page for each individual ticket (and a whole bunch of other pages that I'll ignore for this rant.) If I click on a ticket to view it I go to a new page, right?

What happens if I want to go back to the overview? I hit back on my browser. That should take me back!

WRONG

Nope. Because it's a single page application with no fucking routing programmed, the browser still thinks that the login page is the last page so it takes me there instead.

Like come on, good UX/UI design takes advantage of what the user expects and what the user is used to. The user expects the back button to take him back one page, and therefore it is the responsibility of a SPA developer to mimic that capability in his app. I don't know what framework this web page uses (it has none of the recognizable hallmarks of React or Angular) but for gods sake, implement a freaking router.

Why....?

Why not order the components in a way that makes sense?

*twitch*

When you see a try/catch block where the catch simply throws the caught exception:

try { /*stuff*/ } catch (Exception e) { throw e }

*headdesk*

"Exception has been thrown by the target of an invocation"

This error message pisses me off. I know the SSIS Script component is capable of catching exceptions, you can wrap all your code in a try/catch (please don't) and get an exception. So would it be so hard that if the Script Component throws an exception that it tells me what it is instead of sending me on a goddamn scavenger hunt?

The whole bullshit system of errors is why I hate SSIS. Just tell me what went wrong.

I did what I wasn't supposed to do, wrapped it in a try catch and it gave me a stack trace and an error message and all sorts of actionable shit. But why the hell can't it just do that on its own?

There is literally nothing worse, except maybe Hitler, than a goddamn vague error message.

I see this in code:

bool status;
status = true;

It makes me want to hit things. INLINE THAT SHIT! bool status = true; It's not hard. JFC. And of course I don't have the authority to change it.

To all the programmers calling “ToString()” on variables that are already of type String....

Please stop.

"Change your algorithm"

Answers like this are why Stack Overflow almost becomes worthless when asking questions. I asked for some clarification why my code, which reads some files and outputs another, was hitting System.OutOfMemory exceptions. And that was the response I got.

"Change your algorithm"

How? In what manner should I be seeking to change my algorithm? OBVIOUSLY I SHOULD CHANGE MY ALGORITHM YOU WASTE OF OXYGEN. That was a given by the exception my program threw!

I swear to god, SO has got to be one of the most unwelcoming, condescending sites on the internet.

Internet Explorer: Fuck off and die