Meeting with smooth suit guy:

"So, our company has pivoted"

I hate everything about this guy, not having slept well at all, I fucking snapped:

"Pivoted? Oh wow, what a wonderfully refined word to describe that your asinine business model smacked flat into the mud, that your obtuse bubble of vague ideas popped and your childish dreams of piles of undeserved gold got caught up by the hard reality that your product does not add any tangible value -- yet you tricked your sheepish retarded investors once again to fall for a new hype-filled pitch deck? Congratulations. At least you probably snort enough coke to keep believing in yourself..."

The guy nervously wiped his nose, stuttered, and walked off looking angry and a little confused.

So it turns out, my boss is apparently the major "sheepish retarded investor" in this company.

Today I got a mail from him. I expected fire and fury, nuclear ICBMs crashing into my desk.

"Thanks for your feedback, this is why I invite you to meetings. Could you take a look at their new pitch slides and preliminary API docs for me?"

  • 37
    Haha, great! You proved your qualification
  • 35
    Awesome that your boss validates your opinion so much!
  • 70
    @plusgut I deeply respect my boss for his ability to dissolve his ego to make a bit more room for mine.

    My flaws of ignoring hierarchy, being perceptive, foul mouthed and too straight-forward with everyone would be prohibitively disruptive in any company, and he found a way to shape it into a valuable good cop bad cop dynamic.

    With devs I'm a lot sweeter, juniors can write frustratingly bad code, but they don't do that on purpose...

    But a guy arriving in a car worth more than my house and traces of white powder under his nose, crying that he needs new investments for his next bullshit startup... I'll choke the bastard until he reveals his true demonic form.
  • 13
    @bittersweet I'm happy for you, that you found a company and a great leader who trusts and validates the opinions of his employees. Good for you :)
  • 5
    Wow that boss is pure gold. It's his money that's on the line though, he is pretty much obliged to make the right decisions...
  • 4
    Why am I not able to upvote this more? I was a little scared for junior devs until you made mention of how you undestand them. Honestly man it would be great to work with someone like you, bet I would learn more in a week than I did at uni.
  • 2
    I just wanted to say, this reminds me of Silicon Valley.
    Second: This is the best rant I've read as of recent.
  • 2
    @bittersweet This is a pure gold standard rant
  • 2
    subscribed already!
  • 2
    I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Well done, my good sir.
  • 4
    "dad, I've made a decision based on unexpected requirements and features. I may have to pivot in a epistemological sense. This is really good. It means we are keeping up to current market trends and puts me in the bleeding edge of innovation. Your money will be well spent. I believe that, together, we can make the world a better place." - *The sillicon valley way of telling your parents you are leaving university to live on their basement.
  • 1
    I like your rants.
    Plot, passion and horror!
  • 1
    @bittersweet you sir, are the Dev I dream to be
  • 1
    I wish you rapped... I wish you rapped that monologue.
  • 1
    lol @bittersweet dude.... what a rant

    2 years ago

    worth propping up a bit here..
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