Most of the people who know me say I'm a very relaxed and empathetic guy, with a well respected technical knowledge and adaptability, definitely not the kind of "tough" boss you usually find. So, I'm really getting tired of big tech companies that keep preserving those narcissistic bad bosses that take advantage of guys like me, because I lean on the "softer" side. It's unbelievable the number of these companies that, although they praise a softer leadership style, they still preserve these morale-bloodsucking motherf**ckers, only because they are obsessed with (their own) results, which they usually deliver, no matter the cost.

Praising "softness" makes not being soft more effective. It also sorts out the gullible ones who fall for that, proving they aren't suited as potential leaders anyway.

I'm with you. I too am on the soft side. For years under my "goals for next year" has been "i wanna be a jerk" on the performance review.

Even if your boss appreciates your soft side. their boss might not. So it's a tough world out there.

I think overtime though it hardens your shell too, and eventually start to stop caring and figure out a way to do just enough to get by.

They just want to hear you are soft but in fact they want a bad boy. Sounds to me like talking with women

I think the best bosses I have had are 90% relaxed, but goddamn they know how to bring the heat if need be

Tech is a fundamentally narcissistic industry. Those big tech companies will intrude on the lives of innocent people, including school children, until everyone is dependent on their various addiction engines. The whole industry deserves the reputation currently enjoyed by the Sackler family.

I am neither soft or hard. I aim to be just. Everyone knows that I will act in the best interest of the team and the project. So when someone does something against those they are unsurprised.

Example was when guy picked an unfamiliar framework for the whole team for a project because “I want to learn it.” Other devs were concerned about the choice and he didn’t respond. It slowed the initial development in a project where the main concern was the time to a MVP. I basically was like, “Other devs raised concerns which you ignored or dismissed. You chose a framework that lined us up for struggle and lots of bushwhacking. You aren’t going to get a future chance to lead a new project from me. You are a good developer and that is the role I’ll give you. I expect you to accept this gracefully as you continue work on the project.“

"they still preserve these morale-bloodsucking motherf**ckers"

who else would want to enter corporate management and survive there than self-centered sociopaths?

@Fast-Nop Indeed! In the end it all boils down to results, whatever the means (not usually public though). As Lord Cutler Beckett said: It's just good business.

@shovethisrant And they are very scarce!

The best boss I had was relaxed but super intense for code reviews lol

We treated getting a :ship on his first review as a badge of honor