39
HAlex
2y

Windows:
// Find for a solution
crashChecker.findSolution() {
wait(10000);
}

// Close app if pressing letters 30 times in a row, do the same for mouse click event
keyboardEvent.preLoad(countRow, app) {
if (countRow > 30) {
app.whiteOverlay();
app.crash();
app.close();
}
}

commands.kill(pid) {
App app = findByPid(pid);
app.askFor("ALT+F4");
}

// Render a page in IE
internetExplorer.renderPage(content) {
if (content.type == "json") {
return renderAs(content, "html");
}
if (content.type == "html") {
supportedElements.cutByHalf();
if (supportedElements.length > 20) {
bsod(Error.Memory);
} else {
wait(1000 * random());
return renderAs(content, "html");
}
}

commands.shutdown() {
int delay = 0;
if (apps.length) delay = 30;
if (updater.hasUpdates()) delay = updater.length * 40;

maybeShutdown(delay);
}

Comments
  • 2
    bsod(); hahaha
  • 2
    U lost me at Windows
  • 2
    The only true ones are solution finder and IE.
    Because Windows ≠ IE, only solution finder is true.

    Haha funny ecks dee :/
  • 0
    @filthyranter what? 😂😂
  • 2
    @HAlex Your rant is not really understandable for me because:
    - Windows doesn't crash applications if you have repeated keypresses/mouse button clicks
    - taskkill /f /im <ProcessName>.exe actually terminates the task
    - Internet Explorer isn't really a part of the system (it's used by other apps sometimes, but you can uninstall it if none depends on it, and even if, it's not Windows fault, thus none of IE's problems are Windows' problems)
    - Windows fulls shuts down after ~10 seconds,
    here, with "fast startup" turned off
    - You don't point out actual issues, such as inconsistencies, mixed translations, bad translations for some languages, Windows' weird mixing and linking of userland and kernel, thus creating thousands of vulnerabilities, ...

    I see that you hate Windows, but if you feel the need to be a "haha windows is shit xddddddddddddddd", at least talk about issues that aren't from Windows ME.
  • 0
    @filthyranter I HATE WINDOWS!?!?
    I actually love Windows, specially XP, 7 and 10

    The rant was supposed to be a joke, not a "issue reporting" for Windows
  • 1
    @HAlex Okay.

    But still, how about making a rant like this but with actual issues?
  • 0
    @filthyranter well, to be honest the only real issue I've got with Windows 10 are some casual really rare crashes (bsod).
    Luckily JetBrains products save files aromatically
  • 1
    @HAlex Dafuq. Never BOSDs here. Sounds like a driver issue to me.
  • 1
    @filthyranter probably true, happened 2 times on the desktop, lot of times on the old laptop, never on the newer one.
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